Recently my daughter got married,and I escorted her to the alter...It was a wonderful wedding.We were all happy and had a great time....The wedding pictures came back, and, like always ,when I look at myself, I see the person that I have always been ,but never really was....a Life long struggle...How do you cope ? Jo-Anne........
I cope by avoiding pictures and mirrors...I have always said that the image just doesn't fit.
[SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.
Well I don't let clothes define who I am... After all they are just cloth...
I learned to cope by finally accepting what path I planned to take in life. It doesn't include transition, and I embraced life as my wife's husband, which ain't a bad thing. I wasn't born a woman, and I accept that however begrudgingly. I made a solemn vow to her when I married her. I did so in sound mind with my eyes wide open. It wasn't a bad decision then, and it still isn't now. I have accepted myself as I am, and a huge weight left my shoulders in doing so. I still lament what my life might have been had I been female instead, but I refuse to let it bother me all that much. Life is better with less conflict.
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
If you are not planning transition do not allow it to bother you. You are whom you are no matter what clothing you wear. When you are in drab be the best guy you can be. When in femme be the best woman you can be. That being said, just be happy with presenting whom ever you are at the moment.
We do what we have to do Hon. Then, when we get a respite we can enjoy who we really are and what makes us happy.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I know the feeling. The pressure to present as male is almost an expression of some terrible, unspoken form of conditional love.
Sorry. These past few days have been bad for me. I'm just saying I sympathize.
Abigail hit the nail on the head. You can't escape what you owe others, and they udoubtedly appreciate it, and eventually you DO get time to be you. It all turns around if you wait long enough
When I see my male self in a mirror I say, Now there's a guy I hope to never see again!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
I have to agree with Karren! Clothes don't make a person! My daughter married twice, and obviously I was her father at both marriages. It didn't change anything! I was born a man and will die a man!! But I am a man who likes to wear feminine clothing!! But no matter what I have on, even satin panties, I am still a man underneath those panties and anything else feminine!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
Underneath the dress is a man. One simply can't deny it. But--remember--underneath that male form is a real woman.
good plan, I hate my drab pics, but I love my Wynonna pics.......Originally Posted by Wendy_Marie
I have never liked looking at pictures of myself - knowing I was hiding my true self. I avoid pictures in guy mode. The funny thing is that now that I have accepted myself in my female mode, I like taking pictures of myself and it does not bother me at all to look at them later. Probably something I need to explore about myself.....
I'M FREE, I'M FREE! I GET TO BE ME!
It's about taking the best of both worlds. For those many of us who will live our lives in two genders it really is about one gender enhancing the other. My male side works hard at shaping a body for my feminine side. He is usually doing all the moisturizing in the morning, deciding how to keep Tina's figure looking great, plucking those eyebrows, shaping those nails, etc. Tina helps him know how the feminine world works, helps him understand colleagues and aquaintences better, and his wife as well. Tina does some of the detailed work he detests, and he buys her a little something in return.
It's the symbiosis, the mutual support, and the living of a life that's fuller than most people can possibly imagine!
This is also how I cope. I made a very informed and very well thought out decision to be a husband and not transition. On those days when I wonder what could have been, I remind myself what I was like for those weeks I was without her (my wife).
We all have different things that motivate us. This is what does it for me.
Some days, I wish I were a woman. For what I see, women seem to get life just a little easier. Or at least, the very cute ones.
But just recently, I've started to tell people I care about that I crossdress and they get inquisitive. I inform them, just for now, I find it comfortable wearing my panties, bra, stockings and my one of two dresses. I'm working on some purchases to broaden my horizons but, the one thing that surpasses my understanding, is makeup. Or at least, the application and the sheer amount of not only money to buy the nice stuff, but the time, effort, co-ordination and skill required to look good. Even a simple task like shaving my legs is difficult, at best, not only because I happen to be part monkey, but that I've just recently done it. Ouch. Another thing i took for granted. Nicely shaven legs.
Then I come to relize that, in my head, im not really male or female, I'm simply there. Biologically, I was born male. Which means all the experiences in my life are all male. Girls are raised as girls, with different experiences which is why everything seems to natural. If I was born a girl, I'd be no different aside from my experiences and possibly wonder what it was like to be a male. But it also happens that, I find myself in a much better mood while I dress in lady clothes. Granted, not a social norm by any natural standard, yet, but wearing panties make me no less than whom I've always been, gender aside. That's why, when I drift off wondering what it would be like to be a girl, I remember that I'd be as awesome, special and wonderful as I am. Only, no bulge in my panties. xoxox
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