having serious issues as of late, have come to the realization that i have wanted to become a women since a very young age, but have been masking my feelings for what i thought my role should be (provider, protector and father to my children). Just recently found out my SO has been lying to me about her feelings towards my CD'ing and failed to let me know that my dressing bothered her. My only issues that i have towards our marriage is that i have 2 children and that they are by far the MOST important thing in my life, in fact wife and i are simply coexisting with one another, no intimacy for nearly 9 months. Checked a Transgendered suicide prevention website and realized i fell under nearly 9 of the 10 symptoms of High risk and frankly scared me to death. At this point my marriage means nothing to me and want nothing to do with her but i would lose my girls if ever left her. Need advice and or solution "I am Lost"