I've been thinking about this for awhile and I want to explore this topic further on my blog. I was spurred into action by Andy's "you know you're trans" blurbs.
Let's start a list of what being TS is NOT; I'd like to see what the sisterhood comes up with.
Being a TS is NOT about acting like a woman
Being a TS is NOT about passing as a woman
Being a TS is NOT about dressing like a woman
Being a TS is NOT about being pretty
Being a TS is NOT about having surgeries
Okay girls, the floor is yours.
I'll just add 1 for now:
Being a TS is NOT about who you are attracted to
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
Im gonig to say:Originally Posted by Rianna Humble
Being a TG is not about being a TS..
OK Melissa, you are probably going to scare a lot of people off, but I will play.
First 'transsexual' is a word that is used to describe a person who suffers from gender identity disorder & has a desire
to transition & live in a gender that is opposite to their biological birth sex. So it can't really be any of these things.
No, because when you are a MtF transsexual, you have already identified that you are woman are you not?
You can't claim to be a transsexual if you haven't already figured out you have the wrong brain, personality
& gender identity trapped in a wrongly configured body.
When you are a MtF transsexual you are really meant to be a woman, so if you have truly embraced
who you really are then there is no need to 'try to pass as a woman'. Passing is like pretending to be
something that you are not. I am accepted as a woman because I have embraced who I truly am &
always be my true self. If you actually 'be the woman' then that is exactly how people will accept you.
I know lots of trans girls who are not very feminine in their appearance, but they 'pass' because they
know who they are. They are very strong people who have complete faith & confidence in themselves.
Dressing up to be 'like a woman' reminds me of the drag queens who pretend to be pretty by being overly
flamboyant in their dress & their make-up while trying to be the centre of everyone's attention. Whereas
a transsexual on the other hand usually dresses to suit the occasion better & how they feel most comfortable.
If a person born male feels happier identifying a woman & feels more comfortable in presenting themselves in
female clothes then isn't this the most appropriate form of dress for that person? So anyway Melissa how should
a MtF transsexual person dress? It's getting freaking damn cold standing here with no clothes on.
No, being transsexual is about having a desire to be your true self when your gender identity doesn't match your
outer appearance. Real beauty is something that comes from with, whereas the superficial beauty & glamour that
is on the outside will fade in time with everyone no matter how good your make up is, who you are & how much
money you spend on cosmetic surgery. It doesn't matter how much time you spend with the make-up in front of
the mirror, because being a good person who is lively & interesting to talk to & hang out with makes you a lot more
attractive as person to want to really get to know & want to spend time with.
Not everyone who is transsexual can have gender reassignment surgery for reasons relating from finances to their
personal health, but just because they haven't had the surgeries it doesn't mean they are not who they present
themselves as. The road to transition is long & gender reassignment surgery is only a small part of the transitional
process as a transsexual. There are many stigmas, fears & other mental issues to overcome before you can even
really begin. You have to start to think of yourself more & be more selfish about your own needs in life while others
around you try & make you feel guilty & ashamed, but you cannot care about what other people think as a transsexual.
There is a lot that a person has to deal with when they are transsexual, more crap will come along the way with more
hurdles to always be expected & overcome. Everything is never so clear cut, simple & dry. SRS/GRS is not the magic
bullet that will make you a female, being female is that person that comes from within when you truly are a transsexual.
Being a transsexual is about having the desire to be the opposite gender to the birth sex to which you were born. Having
SRS/GRS is the final affirmation step that will confirm your true gender identity if it is possible for you & if you believe that
this is what it takes to fulfil all your needs to help you to feel happy & complete as a person, but it does not define you as
a woman!
And being TS has very little in common with the rest of the TG spectrum.Being a TG is not about being a TS..
So how did I do sis?
Last edited by Melody Moore; 06-28-2011 at 05:13 AM.
being TS is not about being a freaking "man in a dress" and to the bitches who have called me that (or implied it) : P (no one here BTW)
Yes i have only been called this by another TS and the implication was from a GG who made me touch her boobs and called me a man! F U bitch!
Last edited by Aprilrain; 06-28-2011 at 07:08 AM.
Being a TS is NOT about acting like a woman - true I think, I found I don't have to "act" anything. Though I on a general level want to improve my social skills.
Being a TS is NOT about passing as a woman - but sometimes it sure is important! Last night i stopped at connivence store and bunch rough looking, rowdy young men where there and all I could think was please don't you fraks clock me.
Being a TS is NOT about dressing like a woman - but I sure do hate when I have to dress as a man.
Being a TS is NOT about being pretty - but I sure do wish I was.
Being a TS is NOT about having surgeries - but I sure do wish I could afford them.
being TS is not about being a freaking "man in a dress" - What April said!
Sisterhood? Girls?
How about . . . being a TS is NOT necessarily equivalent to being MtF.
Thank you, Melody, for defining TS as "a person who . . . " and for the correction "MtF transsexual". I see most others are still excluding the guys around here - shame on you.
But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow[SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]
Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow[SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]
Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .- [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
You know.. I have been a member of this site for quite a while and these type threads often pop up... I have read tons of them...what it takes, what it doesn't take,pass,don't pass, what defines,what doesn't. I have seen hundreds of responses and one of the things that I have noticed while reading these responses is that about 99% of the respondents (avatars) are of people who.....are dressed like a woman, and made up like a woman, and some even pass for a woman. Going over Melissa's list I could probably agree that "technically" ........... she is correct. Joe the linebacker can be a woman while still acting, and looking like Joe the linebacker. I don't see any "Joe's" in the avatars so I have to ask myself. Do these things define a woman? NO. Do these things seem to fit in how a lot of transsexuals define (in whole or part) themselves as women? yes. is not how we see ourselves our own personal feelings of what defines us as a woman, and if not... why do it?
Personally. I have done each and everything on that list. Why? Because I like pretty things, I like being pretty, I like passing as the woman that I am. It may not be the holy grail of transsexuals, but it does in part fit my own personal opinion of what helps define me as a woman. And judging by the avatars i am thinking that a lot of others see it the same way. I may be off by a mile, but my gut says I am not.
So in answer to your question I would say that technically.. you are correct in saying that these thing do not define a woman, but... in practice. these things seem to be VERY important in how we and how others see us, and how we and others define a woman. I don't see a lot of people here..practicing what they preach. In the very least, I see it's okay for you to look,act and dress like Joe, but I am not doing it!
Kel
Last edited by kellycan27; 06-28-2011 at 01:37 PM.
good point Capt..
I am guilty of usually assuming everyone here is Mtf...
By the way , it's interesting Melissa that you have a thread called trans progression, with pictures of your female appearance "growing" over time.. the assumed implication being that as your appearance improves, then you are more trans..
but then you say being TS is not about passing, not about being pretty...just a thought, not a criticism..
don't get me wrong, I spent alot of time, energy, and A REALLY REALLY ALOT of $$ to look like a genetic woman.. so I am guilty of this double standard as well...perhaps its as simple as we want to look our best, like many women...but over the last year, i get frumpier and frumpier, and my transness is no longer really that interesting to me..
perhaps being TS is NOT about being TS... hehe
I could not disagree more! I think this whole thing is a sophistical play on what is a defining characteristic, and the whole concept of definition of a word.
That's absolutely true, CaptLex, but there isn't a girls' forum dedicated soley to MTF transsexuals, as there is for FTMs in the Transmasculine Forum. Many of our issues are quite different and specific, and not all MTFs are ready for Safe Haven.
I ask our beloved brothers to grant us forbearance when we seem to ignore you. It certainly doesn't mean we don't care. We are all in the same fleet, but perhaps in slightly different boats.
Lallie
Time for a change.
CAPT LEX "Sisterhood? Girls? How about . . . being a TS is NOT necessarily equivalent to being MtF."
Ahoy to you good Captain! Clearly us girls have been in the rum again - forgive our bout of self centered myopia!
Last edited by melissaK; 06-30-2011 at 10:09 AM. Reason: spelling - doh!
Perhaps if our FTM brothers would post in the Transsexual Fourm once in a while we would not so readily forget them. 99.8% of the post in this section are from MTF's. Therefore we respond to MTF's.Sisterhood? Girls?
How about . . . being a TS is NOT necessarily equivalent to being MtF.
Thank you, Melody, for defining TS as "a person who . . . " and for the correction "MtF transsexual". I see most others are still excluding the guys around here - shame on you.
I would imagine our brothers do the lion's share of their posting in the Transmasculine Forum, Jorja, unless they want to compare notes with MTFs or are simply curious. I am certainly curious, about both FTM and MTF. I have a lot to learn, especially about myself.
Time for a change.
I realize this Lallie but evidently CaptLex doesn't yet. She still thinks we are excluding the guys. You cannot exclude someone that does not participate.I would imagine our brothers do the lion's share of their posting in the Transmasculine Forum, Jorja, unless they want to compare notes with MTFs or are simply curious. I am certainly curious, about both FTM and MTF. I have a lot to learn, especially about myself.
Being TS is being a woman and having to deal with unwanted physical realities.
Born female intended
" Don't die with your music still in you!"
@ Melody Moore..Nice post..
Hats off to the Captain who we all would like to see more posts from. We are, at least I am, missing your wise words. And Jorja, to reiterate, The Captain is a hot He.
Being a TS is NOT about being something you are not. It is about being who you are.
My weight does not define me.
I am sorry if I offended you CaptLex. I did not know you identify as he. However, the fact remains most of the postings in this part of the fourm are from MTF's. Therefore we respond about and to MTF's. Again, we cannot exclude thoes that do not participate. I would like it if more GM's and FTM's participated in this part of the fourm but they just don't.
I'm sorry Jorja, you are very wrong there
Whether or not it was done intentionally (adn I do not believe it was intentional) this phrase excludes our FtM brethren by opening the thread only to the MtF and GG population of this forum. According to the site rules, if someone requests responses only from one section of the readership, then those not included must stay out of the discussion.
Even though this was probably accidental, Melissa asked for contributions from those who identify as "girls" thus excluding the FtM transsexuals. They in their turn would quite rightly have refrained from participating.
I am glad that Captain Lex brought this to our attention. Perhaps we should reread the stickies more often. In particular the one entitled Section Announcement...Please Read! which covers this very point
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
Sorry Lex, if you knew me you would know that I have a soft spot for my trans bros so I definitely didn't exclude the FtM reference out of ignorance or malice. I honestly thought that this was the MtF section. So I plead stupidity.
.....and Kelly, my adorable muse, you completely misunderstood what I'm trying to say. You happen to be one of the girls that I'm talking about. Think deeper you little minx ;-)
I'm on the dang iPhone now so I will elaborate when I get home.
Excuse me Rianna,
There are 3,232 threads in this, the Transsexual part of the fourm. Very few of them start with "girls". Meaning they are open for participation from anyone. In the biggest majority of those threads there is only two or three FTM, GM, or any other M that has ever responded in the 14 months that I have been a member here. That leads me to believe that that the FTM's and GM's do not wish to participate whether invited or not. Therefore, even if I posted a thread marked TS, GG's only, I would not feel I was excluding anyone.
Take it to PM ladies.. you're walking on what may end up to be a good thread.
This +1 SOOO MUCH.
Im not gay all you ignorant trolls!
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