Help me tune my CD radar

[Sometimes Steffi]

Last Saturday I was in Yoga class, one of the few guys as usual, and the lights were dimmed.

A couple of mats over was this "guy" wearing a kind of demure pink/mauve nail polish.

I made a mental note to congratulate him after class, because this is something I've wanted to do for a while (expose my painted toes).

As the class went on, I slowly became more and more convinced that the "guy" was in fact a girl. I did get a chance to talk to her after class, and she was definitely presenting female, with mascara, eye shadow, and minimal lipstick. But when she first opened her mouth to speak, her voice was much lower and more gravelly than you typical female voice.

So I left totally confused. My CD radar obviously needs tuning.

Help me tune my CD radar. Since I expect to see her again,is there any way that I can figure this out, without asking what would be a totally inappropriate and embarrassing question?

[Cynthia Anne]

Steffi, I say wear about the same thing he or she did next time! That way your 'radar' will be in tune or blow a circuit for a complete overhall! Hugs!

[Karren H]

I've been wrong so many times I quit guessing. Its a mixed up muddled up shook up world..... Lo lo lo lol lola.

[Jean Ann S]

ask what her name is
or introduce yourself

Jean Ann

[noeleena]

Hi,

Then ill mix you up some more , im a woman who does not look like a woman. facial is very male my voice is well okay i dress as a normal woman i dont pretend to be what im not im just who i am & get on with life , those who know me dont care they just accept im a woman of difference.

I know a woman who is just a woman , & her voice is so low if you did not know her & with out looking you'd think she was a male, & some women have a lower voice range.

Untill the person concernd say's different ether way just talk as any other person youd talk with . dont ask if ,oh are you a male or female let the person say . if not then let it go. think it just dont say it,

As may be having detail going on & would not help if when i see some one i know or at least think is what ever i dont i just see a person . & let it go as well.

For me people would have to be blind not to know what i am. male / female. i dont look like or ...pass ... as a female / woman. , & when your known does not matter, well not for me .

...noeleena...

[Tina B.]

Why not just accept her as you find her, why question it? If she is a CD, but passes that well why question her, and blow her high? Be friendly and keep talking to her, and if you are right, you'll know in no time, and if your wrong, no one gets embarrassed.
Tina B.

[Stephanie Miller]

My thoughts are the same as Tinas. Who gives a diddly? She/he is a person that is presenting as a person. Why are you trying to pidgeonhole someone? I would venture a guess that most of us here would like to go out in public and never be noticed other than being a person. No matter what we wear or how we act or feel.

[Babette]

Why not just accept her as you find her, why question it? If she is a CD, but passes that well why question her, and blow her high? Be friendly and keep talking to her, and if you are right, you'll know in no time, and if your wrong, no one gets embarrassed.
Tina B.

I totally agree with Tina's comment. Passing as a male, female, Martian or a purple-colored zebra isn't as important to me as someone offering decency, respect and kindness. So approach her with no more intention of being cordial. Perhaps in time the two of you can develop a great relationship.

Babette

[deebra]

Stephanie, I'll tell you who gives a diddy, Steffi, myself and many more cd'ers that have that human curosity. Of course I agree with Tina That you should say nothing and being friendly you just might find out. I would be more thrilled finding out that person was a cd and looked that good rather than a gg.

[eluuzion]

One option is to just walk right over to himmer with a straight face, introduce yourself as a private detective and ask if that is a gun you see in hisser sweatpants.

Or just ask to borrow a dollar. If he hands you a dollar, he is a guy. If she pulls out her checkbook, she is a woman. If she punches you in the face, it could go either way.

Or you could watch what car hisser arrives in. Then during class you could sneak over and turn off the lights. While every one is pretzeling around in the dark searching for the light switch, you could sneak out and smash the window of hisser's car, look at the car registration name, then sneak back inside before the lights come back on.

Or just ask hisser if shehe was the person looking for directions to some park in the area. If hisser says "yes", she is probably a GG. If hisser says "no" he is probably male, because males never ask for directions.

Hey, I never promised they were going to be 'GOOD' options...

[Kittykitty]

Sounds to me like she's looking for a kindred friend.

Why not, "I love your nail polish, you wear that color much better than I do." Slipped into casual conversation, it kind of rolls. Who would deny a genuine compliment?

[danielle40I]

Very nice approach Kitty.

[Stephenie S]

Tina is right, here.

This person's sexuality and gender is really none of your business, any more than yours is to her (or him).

Many CDs have this fascination with finding out about OTHER crossdressers while keeping their own a secret. Why don't YOU announce to the class that you are a crossdresser and would just like to know if there are any other CDs in the class.

Would that make you uncomfortable? Then don't do it to another person. Keep your curiosity to yourself.

You could just go up to the person and introduce yourself. Say, "Hi, I'm Frank. I'm a crossdresser too." How well do you think THAT would go over??

Really. All joking aside. Just be nice, friendly, and kind. Give compliments. "Hi, I like your nail polish." Gender identity and other really private personal information will come MUCH later in the relationship if there ever is one.

S

[Lorileah]

"I really like your nail polish. Where did you get it? I would like to get some like it. By the way my name is ......" I don't think it is a TG issue. You liked the style or look, just compliment them and if things work where you get to be friends all the better. Do you always try and pick friends who are just like you?

[Natalie D]

I'd just be friendly towards them. If they are a regular at your class then I would of thought you'd have plenty of chances to chat. It shouldn't take long to satisfy your curiosity and hey you may make a new friend whatever their gender. Asking about the nail polish would be one way to start up a conversation.

[Stephenie S]

"I really like your nail polish. Where did you get it? I would like to get some like it. By the way my name is ......" I don't think it is a TG issue. You liked the style or look, just compliment them and if things work where you get to be friends all the better. Do you always try and pick friends who are just like you?

Exactly.

Just be friendly. If something develops, good. You will find out private personal stuff when the other person is comfy about it.

S

[kendra_gurl]

While admiring his/her fingernails just compare the ring finger to the index finger.

98% of males ring finger is longer than their index finger. With females its the index finger which is longer than the ring finger

[Eryn]

98% of males ring finger is longer than their index finger. With females its the index finger which is longer than the ring finger

Darn, after all these years it becomes clear. Mine are the same length! No wonder I'm so confused!

[Sometimes Steffi]

OK. I get the message. Why question her? Who gives a diddy?

In my defense, I was curious because I was just trying to meet a kindred spirit.

[Kate Simmons]

I what understand your confusion but, biology notwithstanding, I tend to see others for who they are as a person, not what they are. Gender enters into it sometimes out of necessity perhaps but that's all.

[Sally24]

It's like assuming a woman is pregnant because she has some belly. You can think what you like but NEVER comment on it. Don't assume she's trans based on just the voice. She may have had trauma or something else that damaged her throat. Just enjoy her company and she may bring it up if she is tg.

[wanagione]

I think you should except her the way she is. I stopped trying to guess . It looks like you started a nice conversation with her, so why not try to just become friends. enjoy her for herself!

[amielts]

People come in all different physical forms. Many genetic women are quite masculine physically. So it is often hard to tell if somebody is trans of not.

[jillcutie]

While admiring his/her fingernails just compare the ring finger to the index finger.

98% of males ring finger is longer than their index finger. With females its the index finger which is longer than the ring finger

this doesn't work for me as I've broken my knuckle and my index finger is far shorter on one hand

[donnatracey]

Darn, after all these years it becomes clear. Mine are the same length! No wonder I'm so confused!

You are not alone, Eryn! The length AND the confusion......