If you have a wife or SO, do you automatically assume or expect her to be OK with you seeing men on the side just because she accepts your dressing?
If you have a wife or SO, do you automatically assume or expect her to be OK with you seeing men on the side just because she accepts your dressing?
ABSOLUTELY NOT! Totally unacceptable to expect an SO to go along with that. Why should they tolerate unfaithfulness, irrespective of who with or what you're wearing at the time?
No.Originally Posted by wrenchette2
If you're married or in a committed relationship, "seeing" anybody, male or female for romantic or sexual reasons is cheating, plain and simple.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
Only if you have an open relationship, and she gets to see others too! Whats good for the goose, and all that. I have never lived in an open relationship, and don't know anyone that has, that are still together, but some say it works.
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hiya w,
I am not in a relationship with anyone right now so I guess I am either real lucky or a real loser...
But I have been in a few relationships and marriages and if they taught me anything...it was to never automatically assume or expect anything.
Here are the judge's comments after his ruling in an adultery case between two gay male partners...
I happen to agree with his perspective...
"The essence of a committed relationship is exclusivity, physical, emotional and any other kind. Anything that impinges on that exclusivity is harmful and "cheating". It does not specifically imply the act of sexual adultery, but any act that undermines the very essence of a committed relationship."
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
You looking for permission or absolution from us? See above, it doesn't make any difference as to the gender, you never assume they will be OK with something like that. There are certain things you discuss before you get in a committed relationship and open marriage is one of them IF that is what you are into.
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Cheating is cheating I don't care if its with aliens or ghosts! Lol.
Eluuzion, you hit it out of the park again! Nothing seems certain, in this increasingly uncertain society.
pretty much what everyone above me has said. mostly.
Okay - I pretty much agree on a stable monogamous relationship myself, if only because I couldn't deal with the jealousy. But everyone should check out the article in the NY Times today where the writer examines Dan Savage's advice column and his thoughts on monogamy. I think all of us girls, as we know, feel constricted by society's rules in our dressing. But we should allow others to express their sexuality in whatever form it might take. Some people in commuted marriages find that allowing the other partner freedoms (crossdressing anyone?) a
Makes for a stronger relationship.
Now me - I love my wife till I'm dead, she holds the keys to all that's good in my life. If I could only get her to see me as attractive in lingerie!
I wonder how many of the people who have replied so far are actually married and into men.CD's that are into men do you expect your wives/SO to be accepting of EVERYTHING?
I'm married, and I'm approximately 80% heterosexual. I'm going to use that 20% as an excuse to jump in.
My answer: I don't expect my wife to let me do whatever I want to do regardless of how it impinges on her, whether that's sex with another person (male or female), or anything else.
There are people out there who have open relationships, and they seem to make it work. It's not for everyone though. To me, it looks like it would be far more trouble than it's worth. If your husband is proposing that you allow him to do this, and you really don't like the idea, that's pretty much all you have to say. Bisexuals don't get a special pass on the whole fidelity thing.
I've been in an open relationship with my SO (female) for several years now, and while it has been a very happy and successful relationship, it does have its ups and downs like any other. The success of an open relationship lies on how much both partners are devoted to each other and how well they follow the rules of the relationship itself. If I want to have intimate relations with another man, he must first meet with my SO, be given the ground rules of the relationship and be approved by her. If he gets through all that okay, then I am free to see him 1-2 nights a week, as long as it does not interfere with any plans my SO might have. Also, unless she specifically okays it, I am not allowed to be intimate with him anyplace she might hear or see us. The same exact rules apply to her as well.
Now she's actually married (with my complete approval) to one of her longer lasting outside partners, who is actually an old friend and roommate of ours. I saw no problem with this, considering she was 100% okay with my decision to transition, and with me as female, she would now need someone else to act as a husband and future father for her children. We still have a very deep emotional relationship, and even though there are now three of us, the same rules still apply.
NO! That's a whole different ballgame. You wouldn't expect her to be OK with seeing other women would you? Cheating is cheating.
Sophia.
Wrenchette,
I think you pretty much get the idea - any husband who tries to put one over his wife just because she accepts the clothes he wears is an being an asshole.
Darla: I think that the most important part of Dan Savage's idea that monogamy doesn't work for everyone can be found on the last page of this article where he talks about Arnold Schwarzenegger: cheating on a spouse doesn't mean that you're succeeding in a non-monogamous relationship, but that you're failing at a monogamous relationship. Any husband who thinks that he makes all the rules because his wife accepted one thing he possibly didn't expect, pretty much fails at marriage in general!
What a load of dickcheese! Guess the Judge got his licked off for saying that!!
"The essence of a committed relationship is exclusivity, physical, emotional and any other kind. Anything that impinges on that exclusivity is harmful and "cheating". It does not specifically imply the act of sexual adultery, but any act that undermines the very essence of a committed relationship."
So, I must love my partner exclusively?! I have to cease loving my mother, my cat.. I'm cheating because I love my mum?! yikes..
I want to go play golf on saturday (i hate golf btw), and my partner says I'm selfish for wanting to do something on my own..
So now I am cheating the relationship?! Get real judge..
I love my gf, love her to bits, she is all I need and want, I would never bonk another male or female, she is the most important thing in my life, but she sure as hell ain't the only thing in my life!!
I..
My Yin is meeting my Yang..
When people can only see the circle,
Then I will be complete!
I think you are taking the judge's words just a tad too literally................
When it comes to the law and words from judges you have to, they set the stage for following generations of law and judges..I think you are taking the judge's words just a tad too literally................
Presedence?! (sp?) Big part of the judicial system..
So a husband or a wife flies 3000k's each week for months to see an ill/dying parent, the spouse could claim lack of comitment to their relationship based on time away and financial burden..
I understand his/her intent, but for a judge to open such a door is grossly incompetent..
I..
My Yin is meeting my Yang..
When people can only see the circle,
Then I will be complete!
I am a crossdresser, but I am probably about 95% male. The other 5% is my feminine part! But the way I was raised would not allow me to have relations with a man under any circumstances, and certainly not as a CD. Beside if I had done that when my wife was still alive, I would be dead right now!! No question about that!! That is CHEATING and is totally not acceptable in any marriage or committed relationship!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
I might be a CD, and bisexual, but when I got married, I chose sides. My wife knows all about my sexuality, and just because she knows doesn't mean she would ever condone cheating.
Thank you all for your responses.
Unfortunately, many do I'm afraid Hon.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
If you're a male, married to a female, and are not cheating on her with another male, aren't you then 100% heterosexual?........I'm married, and I'm approximately 80% heterosexual. I'm going to use that 20% as an excuse to jump in.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
Its never ok to assume this course of action. Cheating is cheating. I recently got divorced and even though she handed me divorce papers , I would of handed them to her after being told about her weekend business trips
No, the same rules apply. On the day of our vows, I took an oath to be faithful forever. That's means no cheating at all, man or woman, regardless if en-femme or in male mode no acceptions, no loopholes.
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I agree with the general consensus that it is wrong unless in an open relationship.
Now, where in the hell does someone get taken today to court on the charges of adultry. Sounds like a religious tribunal. If adultry is illegal, then more than half the male population in the USA and probably 80% in parts of Europe would be in jail. I am curious where and when that archaic law was last enforced. The judges words sounded like what my old fourth grade nun teacher said to us when she heard that someone had a mixed boy girl party in grade school over the weekend. Thinking about, or actually kissing a girl or boy, was considered a mortal sin by her. However, the priests were very cool about that.
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