CD but enjoy being a man?

[Inna]

I am so intrigued by this statement.

"I love to CD but I enjoy all my manly things and being a man".

I am trying to understand and analyze to the core, the essence of this statement, it feels misguided and misinterpreted but then again, it may just feel that way.

First, if I am a true masculine man I would never intentionally put an article of opposite sex anywhere on my body. Not to mention that such act would make me feel any different other that stupid.
TRUE or FALSE

I enjoy being a man, well what is exactly being a male? Is it wearing drab clothes, playing with tools, getting awfully dirty? Some girls do just that but they don't turn into a MAN but remain who they originally were, girls.

Is having body hair manly, well some girls do have it and as far as I can tell they work to correct that, but given the chance that nobody would find out wouldn't you shave it all in an instant?

What else is manly, getting bold, Oh well I think I know the answer to this one my self without any help

Wearing manly clothes is manly, isn't it, but once more I think I have an answer to this one.

So really, REALLY, do CDers really like to be a man or just do not allow the freedom and/or some are still for now not aware of impending doom of emotional reveal later on. I know my self, as a fact, this process is gradual, takes years, lifetimes, but seems the more we embrace our inner feelings, the less we care what others might think, dismiss societal and religious pressures, we grow and more and more see her appear from within.

Am I right or am I correct?

[Karren H]

Actually I'm not a crossdresser who likes to do male things... I'm a male who is driven to crossdress and has accepted and embraced it and enjoys different things that society has identified as male or female pastimes. Playing ice hockey.. Working on cars... Drag races. Watching some sports. Collecting jewelry. Shopping. Makeup and dressing like a girl...

[Cynthia Anne]

I do not enjoy being a man! BUT I'm glad for the knowledge I have of so many things considered of being manly!

[sissystephanie]

I guess my answer would be similar to that of Karren. I am a man who is a crossdresser! I like to do pretty much all the manly things, but I also like to sometimes do some feminine things. And I definitely like to wear pretty feminine things. My late wife knew all that , and really encouraged me to be both a man and feminine!!

[Farrah]

Actually, society made a label for all of us, whether we're male, female, bi, gay, cd. What are manly acitivities? What are women activities? CDing, i think is more of an expression opposed to a label. We should stop confining ourselves with labels.

[Vanessa Storrs]

At my most feminine I am still a guy in a dress. I have the same emotions and feelings in drab as in drag, but I love dressing and it is an important part of my life.

[carhill2mn]

I feel much the same as Karen and sissystephanie.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Some girls do just that but they don't turn into a MAN but remain who they originally were, girls.

Here's the line that I think sums up the issue with your argument here. Why can't men do girly things but remain happily men, since you seem ok with women doing the opposite?

The person you quoted said they enjoyed all their manly activities, but they didn't say they only or exclusively enjoyed their manly things.

[VioletJourney]

I don't like the idea of a hobby/pastime/activity being considered masculine or feminine. They're just things I like to do, and clothes I prefer to wear...

[suchacutie]

Men grow up from being boys. Women grow up from being girls. The socialization process that happens in that roughly 20-year period affects emotions, psychology, life expectation, etc. On top of that, the biology of the brains of the two genders is not identical. Many studies have shown that those of us who identify with both genders can have brain functions that are mixtures of the two genders.

Thus, it is very possible to identify and have a life in both genders, regardless of the outward biology. My life presenting as a male has certain characteristics, as does my life presenting as a female. Many of these characteristics are different, and mirror the results of the socialization of the two genders.

I know this is not everyone's experience here, but I have found myself increasingly separating my two gendered selves, and I very much enjoy both of us!

[Alexiz]

Actually, society made a label for all of us, whether we're male, female, bi, gay, cd. What are manly acitivities? What are women activities? CDing, i think is more of an expression opposed to a label. We should stop confining ourselves with labels.

I'd have to say I agree with Farrah.

I guess this might sound juvenile, but we should just do what we want to do. Of course there are society's rules to an extent, but we shouldn't let what others think about what's considered male or female limit our actions.

[kendra_gurl]

If your really honest and think about it being Manly could mean being a selfish ******* with an uncontrolable desire to do whatever makes you feel good. That could be chasing women, bulling others, lying to and cheating everyone, taking all your vices to the point of excess, drinking, gambling, drugs, porn, or simply cross dressing.

Most men,( not all) when givin the oppertunity to do something that will make them feel good and if they think they won't get caught will do it. That is just the stereotypical male. Come on guys, we all do things we are not proud of so lets take off our panties for one day and MAN UP and admit it

[ReineD]

Am I right or am I correct?

You are right AND you are correct when it comes to describing yourself ... but not others.

There is a wide spectrum of gender identification, not just male or female. For example, my SO identifies as dual gender. He enjoys being a guy sometimes, and she enjoys being a girl at other times. I don't look at it as having a switch that toggles on and off, but rather my SO has his/her very own gender that is a combination of feminine and masculine attributes that are always there. Sometimes the more masculine feelings come to the forefront and at other times the more feminine feelings prevail. But fundamentally my SO is always the same person. Each CDer in this forum has his/her own unique combination of gender and personality that simply doesn't fit neatly into one box.

It must be difficult to navigate an internal gender mix, since most of us grow up seeing nothing other than the binary male/emale, so I imagine it is easier for some TGs to just keep a switch they can turn on and off. This is likely why you read these descriptions and also why it is difficult for you to understand since I'm guessing you fit in the binary as identifying primarily female? Are you TS?

[Miranda09]

I don't really relate to the term "manly" or "manliness." I do relate to the term "male" since that is what I am. Nothing will change that, short of surgery. But I also relate to my feminine self, which I like to express in my CDing activity, or hobby, if you will. So yes, I do enjoy being a man, since I've done that my whole life, AND I do enjoy exploring my fem self through CDing....AND it's lots of fun, as all hobbies should be!!

[Gillian Gigs]

Alexia, I hear what you are saying. Football season is coming and I do all of the guy things that come with it. Play it, watch it, and talk nonstop about it. Whether it be a hobby, pastime, or activity, Cding is enjoyable, if it wasn't most of us would have stopped doing it long ago. The why's of why we enjoy doing it are as many as their of us that do it. Karren talks about hockey and cars, while I played hockey for years and was a referee for many more. Why, I enjoyed doing it. Someone said, "to your own self to true", well be true to you and do no harm to others. Put that pressure on the religious types, but they might not like it!!

[Inna]

You are right AND you are correct when it comes to describing yourself ... but not others.

There is a wide spectrum of gender identification, not just male or female. For example, my SO identifies as dual gender. He enjoys being a guy sometimes, and she enjoys being a girl at other times. I don't look at it as having a switch that toggles on and off, but rather my SO has his/her very own gender that is a combination of feminine and masculine attributes that are always there. Sometimes the more masculine feelings come to the forefront and at other times the more feminine feelings prevail. But fundamentally my SO is always the same person. Each CDer in this forum has his/her own unique combination of gender and personality that simply doesn't fit neatly into one box.

It must be difficult to navigate an internal gender mix, since most of us grow up seeing nothing other than the binary male/emale, so I imagine it is easier for some TGs to just keep a switch they can turn on and off. This is likely why you read these descriptions and also why it is difficult for you to understand since I'm guessing you fit in the binary as identifying primarily female? Are you TS?

Yes Reine, I am very aware of duality of gender aspect as too combination of both, in fact in every human on this planet. Our trans issue becomes obvious only when brain imprint becomes opposite to that of our body sexual characteristic and therefore creating Dysphoria. I do not state my intent to finalize any group or label any one in any particular way. However I propose a discussion on truism of the statement or rather explanation, or explanations of what it means to be male and female or perhaps there aren't any?

I am a transsexual woman, I experienced crossdressing from age of 7 and was confused, discriminated for my girly looks and fought with my gender dysphoria for entire life. Only recently I gave in to the inner truth and allowed it to blossom. In fact when I wrote this thread I did not base it on my own like of crossdressing, all the points were simply an out-loud interpretations of what I heard of over and over here on the forum.

I do not care to wear this or that, in fact right now all I truly care about is to become me, This body to become as close to genetic female as possible, weather I wear dress or jeans and Tshirt it doesn't matter. I don't get hi on clothing, I don't care for high heels, I just want to be me, the girl I always knew I was but had to discard to the deepest crevasse of my soul.

Am I a CDer, I guess by the current definition I am not because I do not crossdress, and even if I would wear an item from the woman's rack, I would be wearing just an item of clothing.
But the same if someone puts on dress and feels feminine and embraces the soft side of them selves aren't they, even for just that moment becoming a girl and just the girl. Or are they a male in dress? I think as I remember from my experiences I was my self, a girl, wearing of woman's clothing was giving me that extra edge, a visual clue to fulfill the whole aspect of femininity which was always running through my vain. I was a girl then and not a boy, until I took it all off and had to become this boy everyone wanted me to be, but was I a boy even though I looked like one?

Anyway enough about me, questions are still the same, by dressing and presenting as female, is the individual becoming a representation of female spirit (even if in his mind) or is he only a man wearing a skirt?

[Vickie_CDTV]

First, if I am a true masculine man I would never intentionally put an article of opposite sex anywhere on my body. Not to mention that such act would make me feel any different other that stupid.
TRUE or FALSE
Am I right or am I correct?

This certainly does not apply to everyone (please don't tear my head off), but...

If one is a manly man, but gets a tremendous rush of pleasure some kind (sexual or otherwise), yes they will wear whatever female attire they fancy, even if only briefly, even if they feel stupid and shameful about it. After all, there is not much more male than the desire for gratification. Why they fancy women's clothing is another matter, but the act of dressing for gratification is not inconstant with being male.


In a broader scope, not every dresser is a TS waiting to happen. Transvestism is not a stepping stone to inevitable transsexualism, and there are plenty who dress for a lifetime without any desire to be a transsexual, and there are a number of older folks here who can testify to that.

[TGMarla]

There's a whole lot more to being a woman than just dressing up and doing your nails. In fact, these days very few women indulge in such things on a regular basis. Well, they get their nails done, but most don't bother dressing up all the time. It's low on the priority list. But dressing up and putting on makeup, et al, is really what crossdressing is all about for me. I'm not going to transition, so I have stopped pursuing many "feminine" goals that I otherwise might be chasing. I'm glad to be my wife's husband. So while I think I'd have enjoyed living my life as a woman, it's not going to happen. So I've accepted my male-ness, and I enjoy my female-ness as a pleasant diversion.

[Samantha43]

If your really honest and think about it being Manly could mean being a selfish ******* with an uncontrolable desire to do whatever makes you feel good. That could be chasing women, bulling others, lying to and cheating everyone, taking all your vices to the point of excess, drinking, gambling, drugs, porn, or simply cross dressing.

Most men,( not all) when givin the oppertunity to do something that will make them feel good and if they think they won't get caught will do it. That is just the stereotypical male. Come on guys, we all do things we are not proud of so lets take off our panties for one day and MAN UP and admit it

WOW! Where do I start here? That is a pretty harsh statement to blanket men with. You certainly have a low opinion of men. I am a man. I was born male, I live my life as a male and I enjoy being a man. Most people would say I am manly and yes, I'm a crossdresser.

I don't believe I am selfish, I have never chased women, I don't bully, I don't lie, I don't cheat, I drink only socially, I don't gamble, I have never used an illegal drug and I have never really cared much for porn.

I have always volunteered my time for my children's activities and for my community. I have been married for 23 years to a wonderful woman. I do my best to live my life in an honest manner and be a gentleman.

I don't believe most men behave the way you accuse us of. At least the ones I associate myself with. Maybe you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror, learn a little self control and get better friends. You and I have vasty different definitions of the "stereotypical male".

[Nikki A.]

I was born a male, and I enjoy doing some stereotypical male things. However I do have a female side that needs attention also. I like both sides and rather than repress one or the other I would rather have them co-exist and work together.

[NicoleScott]

Thanks, Vickie (Post #17), for (after 16 previous posts) finally getting to a very obvious reason a manly man can crossdress: pleasure (sexual or other). We're not all girly girl inside, nor dual gender. It continues to amaze me that people who have been here for years don't know that we dress for different reasons.
I agree with Karren (Post #2), except with different "male" activities.

[ninapuella]

If I am going to describe me to someone I will have problems, because what is actually me? Its like trying to describe a box of chocolat with just one piece of the chocolat. So the only thing I do is doing what I am driven to do at the very moment. If i watch a football-game I dont think about it as manly and if i crossdress i dont see it as feminine. I just do it because I want to do it at that moment.

[ReineD]

Anyway enough about me, questions are still the same, by dressing and presenting as female, is the individual becoming a representation of female spirit (even if in his mind) or is he only a man wearing a skirt?

I was trying to explain earlier that for some people it is not either/or. My SO is a man sometimes with feminine undertones, and when she is her feminine self, even though she may have masculine undertones, she is not a man in a skirt. Nor is she a representation of a female spirit. She is female in all aspects except her chromosomes and genitalia.

This may be a difficult concept to understand for people who identify purely as either men or women, namely GGs, GMs, and TSs. I often detect a tendency to classify a CDer either as a man in a skirt, or a TS in denial.

[suchacutie]

Wow...Kenda, I would definitely NOT put crossdressing in the same sentence as chasing women.....excessive drinking......porn.

I don't consider Tina a vice. She is a part of my existence and is not at all related to that incredible list of vices you enumerated. My wife and I nuture her life, care for her, are considerate of her, and protect her. Transforming to Tina is not frivolous and is not a joke.

Being a man is, genetically, the hunter and the protector. He is genetically disposed to solving problems and providing for his family. The psychology of being male is well studied, as is the psychology of being female, and all this is available at your local library

I could go on, but I imagine my point is already clear.

[lil red]

Actually I'm not a crossdresser who likes to do male things... I'm a male who is driven to crossdress and has accepted and embraced it and enjoys different things that society has identified as male or female pastimes. Playing ice hockey.. Working on cars... Drag races. Watching some sports. Collecting jewelry. Shopping. Makeup and dressing like a girl...

I couldn't have said it better!