Originally Posted by Becca13
You can rationalize it anyway you want, but at the end of the day, you have one brain and one body, and whether or not you only have sex with men as a woman and women as a man, that makes you bisexual through and through.
I agree. There's a real "jekyll and hyde" excuse that some people seem to have where they want to act like they are two very distinct people who just seem to be renting the same body, but United States of Tara aside, Multiple Personality Disorder just isn't nearly as common as these boards would sometimes suggest.
It's sort of like the Colbert Report. By virtue of playing a caricature of a certain type of TV host, Stephen Colbert is able to say things he might not be able to get away with if he were just hosting a straight forward show as his true self, but even the real Stephen Colbert has said he likes sliding his true beliefs into the rhetoric of the character on the show.
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~Riley
Check out my trans themed standup on YouTube!
My Tumblr Blog
This is so me, 38 years into crossdressing and only the last 2-3 years thinking about men, but still into women as well so this make's me BI, very late in life but better late then never! btw same question asked 4 years ago? 100% strait! never ever thinking about men, (maybe a good looking CD'er but no men) so never say never..... it can happen to you to
it's a bit different for me,before finding this site I was totally attracted to big strong looking guys but since I have been here I've become more and more attracted to other CDs
I think a lot can be explained by the concept of "copulatory instinct" which is explained here and here. I think many if not most CDs who fantasize about sex with men only see the men in question as faceless abstractions. They aren't attracted to men in real life but the male abstractions exist so that the CD can be the woman in the fantasy.
My very first orgasm when I was 12 was achieved while having just such a fantasy. I figured that I must sexually attracted to males or why would I think such things? But, as the years went by, I had numerous crushes on girls and never once found another guy attractive even though I still had these fantasies where I was the girl having sex with men. The only two explanations that have ever made any sense to me are autogynephilia and the copulatory instinct concept. I think autogynephilia was just my way of rationalizing the fact I have the cis-female copulatory instinct. What I really experience is actually autogynephila turned inside out. I am not aroused by the thought of myself as a female. Being aroused brings out the "female" in me. And, no, it's not the only thing.
Weird. I have never fantasized about being with a man. I have fantasized about being with a "masculine" or strong woman, but that is the closest to male I have gotten.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
Wow what a fantastic thread.
I can't really answer per the OP's initial question, but as an aside I can say that I thought I was gay since I was very young, because I thought that all gay guys wanted to be girls. Mind you, I did not WANT to be gay and I tried earnestly to be the macho straight guy that I admired. I had girlfriends, got married (twice) played Hockey, raced Motocross, made my self as muscular as I could but in the end, all I was doing was wasting time. Later I obviously realized that I had other issues and I wasn't exactly gay, but I can speak from first hand experience about the power of denial. I can attest that coming out to MYSELF as gay, then as trans, was far more difficult than coming out to anyone else. Being completely out is like being given the key to the world and my heart breaks for those closeted (even to themselves) souls that cannot allow themselves to experience the joy that I've discovered over the last few years.
Isn't this also the classic definitiion of transvestite? Men who dress like a woman to have sex with a man. so perhaps there really are two categories of dresser, crossdresser (plain vanilla) and transvestite
. "Situational heterosexuality" is just a euphamism for TV. It all boils down to being honest. Wouldn't it be easier if folks just said they are bi-sexual. They would certainly gain more support from the LGBT groups, at least more so than claiming to be a crossdresser. There is a lot of talk about honesty here but that too seems to be situational.
just saying.
Minutes ago I posted to a thread started by Pythos and I said that I'm not physically attracted to men. And that is true. I used to chat a lot on AOL and occasionally exchange emails with men. I've never asked for a photo and I would never as a cd meet a man, period. But I do enjoy the conversation, and I like it when we both use the anonimity of the internet to be honest in our conversations. We talk about my cd-ing and his attraction to cd's. By the way, more often than not in my experiences, men who are attracted to cd's consider themselves straight, the usual explanation being that they are attracted to the pretty female appearance independent of what's under the skirt. Anyway, I think there can be a psychological attraction to men who find me attractive, but still no physical attraction. I think it's a response to flattery, wanting to hear more of it. That's how I see it, from my experiences.
In my opinion...cognitive dissonance has a tendency to wear you down, like a toothache that is ignored.
The mental discord produced by this issue eventually sends you looking for a way to release some of the pressure. An acceptable way that allows you to resolve some of that cognitive dissonance "pressure" in your head...but still enables you to continue self-denial.
One of the typical strategies employed by liars is to attempt to "redefine" and break down their acts of deception and lies into "categories", which always include some cases where their actions are "technically" not lies and deception, lol.
It is the same process, but the person is doing it internally (self-denial).
It is kind of like accepting the concept of being "a little bit dead"....
...this is an issue of being "a little bit honest"....
just my thoughts...
Last edited by eluuzion; 07-04-2011 at 04:00 PM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Better rush and read this concept of copulatory instinct, might bring some insight. Thanks.
Last edited by Elsa; 07-04-2011 at 08:32 PM.
This is interesting to me, if only because it reminds me of waaaay back before I was open and out about my CDing and my only internet presence was faceless pictures on myspace or earlier attempts at internet social networking like AOL profiles and chat rooms or yahoo photo galleries. Back then I would get frequent emails from men soliciting me for sex, and they'd be so forward and explicit about it that it really freaked me out and made me feel like maybe there was something wrong with me and what I was doing if my pictures elicited such a reaction, namely that it made these guys think such behavior was welcomed. I would put messages in my profiles in as plain english as I could that I was not seeking such attention and that I was interested in women, or in friendly conversations with other crossdressers.
Nothing put a stop to it, until I started posting face pics. This was before I had started showing my boy face, so I was in full "Alyssa" mode back then, but once I started posting my face these messages almost entirely stopped. It was then that I realized that by posting faceless photos, I was essentially an identity-less symbol for these guys' desires, and they didn't see me as anything but that. But once I had a face to it, and let's be honest, a face that made it clear I was really a man as I was never all that passable, I became a real person. I'd still get hit on sometimes but it was usually a more tastefully done, and in a way where I felt more comfortable saying "Thanks but no thanks" rather than just wanting to hide from it.
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~Riley
Check out my trans themed standup on YouTube!
My Tumblr Blog
Good point Rye. Actually excellent points. Faceless is how I think many males view women or even sexual partners. I recall seeing in history class little "fetishes" which were ancient statues of "women". Essentially they were headless things in the very rough shape of women. They were plump, had to breasts, and a slit in the nether regions. These statues had NO HEAD ever, this could be dicerned in the manner the neck area resulted in a point.
Personally I find the fantasizing of a faceless person somehow revolting. It shows that there is actually no interest in the person, but instead the person's "goods". To me, in my opinion, that is a very crass way of viewing another human being for such an intimate thing.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
I guess you are you and other people are other people. Your experiences and feelings are not theirs, and vice versa.
Now, I shall cough vigorously and send a cloud of plague in your direction.
I think there is a difference between a genuine attraction to the opposite sex, and a desire to use props (or faceless men in fantasy posts) in order to feel more feminine.
I can "sorta" imagine how a CDer in her fantasies might feel more masculine in comparison to a GG, and more feminine when picturing herself with a guy. But if she's hetero (or if she prefers, lesbian when dressed), then I imagine there would be a real turn-off if she did go out on a date with this "faceless" guy, then found herself naked with him in a bedroom afterwards. And those who would not be turned off are either gay or bi to begin with.
In other words, the fantasy of being feminine and being desired as a woman is far more important than the sexual act of being with a guy.
Just saying that a post from someone who fantasizes or "wonders" is not the same thing as actually going through with it.
... and, you know, this place does lend itself well for people to get lost in their fantasies. It's the internet and it's anonymous!
EDIT - Elsa, sorry I've just read your post and see that you've already said this.
Last edited by ReineD; 07-04-2011 at 02:25 PM.
Reine
Why do some MTF crossdressers claim to be attracted to males only when enfemme?
Is it possible some ARE only attracted to males when enfemme? I can see that it might be true regardless of opinions. I'm not one who feels this way as I'm attracted to women only en femme or not. Just want to give them the benefit of the doubt....
ChanDelle
I know for myself that I have absolutely no sexual feelings for guys when I am not dressed. I don't ever remember feeling any different. When I am dressed I love the feeling of guys paying attention to me and wanting me. I also love the feeling of giving in to their desires. But then again I also love the feeling of being with another CD or Tg as well.
I have no idea where this puts me on the sexuality meter but it's the way I am.
BTW I'm very attracted to women no matter how I'm dressed.
margo
You hit it right on the head. I'm also amazed on how many people need to reply "No not me!" I never had those thoughts! I'm totally straight" Do they really need to post that? Come on, really?In my opinion...cognitive dissonance has a tendency to wear you down, like a toothache that is ignored.
The mental discord produced by this issue eventually sends you looking for a way to release some of the pressure. An acceptable way that allows you to resolve some of that cognitive dissonance "pressure" in your head...but still enables you to continue self-denial.
One of the typical strategies employed by liars is to attempt to "redefine" and break down their acts of deception and lies into "categories", which always include some cases where their actions are "technically" not lies and deception, lol.
It is the same process, but the person is doing it internally (self-denial).
It is kind of like accepting the concept of being "a little bit dead"....
...this is an issue of being "a little bit honest"....
just my thoughts...
Great question ,
I never even read the thread you are talking about nor will I , I am secure in my sexuality. I have no desire to ever be with a man dressed or not . However , if those whom like being dressed and seek a man are amoung us so be it I have no problems with it and its none of my business . Some here really truley believe that they were born the wrong sex and maybe they have been forced to live their life as the sex they were born as , perhaps taught morales from family to resist temptation or they are not prepared for the cost of filling their desires. I am sure that for some its a heavy price to pay.
But it's typical for most women to equate that because some men who where unfortunate enough to be born with this non socially acceptable behavior of burdened with the need to dress as Femme.. To be also be tied as a homosexual, and thats far from the truth.. Some of us are straight males and its an unfair conclusion to think other wise from any gender or sexually different or oreanted
person..
Thats just my two cents..
Last edited by Lucy_Bella; 07-04-2011 at 05:30 PM.
I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.
Um, no. No definition of transvestite involves interaction with members of either sex. I've heard some define transvestism as specifically crossdressing for sexual gratification, but the act of dressing has nothing to do with who you sleep with.
I haven't read all of the responses so maybe someone said it already. Anyway I think another explanation is that many "CDers" are really closet TSes, not that being TS means you have to be a heterosexual woman. I only bring this up as an option because it is my experience somewhat. I didn't dress and then feel attraction toward men I would feel the need to be a woman, dress and then usually fulfill my desires for sex as a woman with a man by masturbating. inevitable after the act i was filled with shame, guilt and remorse. I desperately wanted nothing more than the desire to be a woman to go away! The idea of being a man with a man was repulsive to me so i knew i was not gay. Even now I am not attracted to gay men, they may be cute but they are gay which is a turn off for me. I want a man that wants a woman. The last thing I want is to be treated like a man by another man who likes to have sex with men sorry but YUCK! What I undoubtedly am is a heterosexual woman but if your stuck in a mans body that can be very problematic.
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