Are you special?

[Frédérique]

[SIZE="2"]Are you special, my MtF crossdresser friends? Of course you are...

You’re special because you differ from others in many important ways. You’re remarkable, noteworthy, rare, exceptional, and positively unforgettable. All this because you, a male by birth, prefers to wear women’s clothing for pleasure, or perhaps for a thrill – you have chosen to redesign the blueprint for existence and eschew all that is usual, ordinary, normal, commonplace, and unimportant. Well, at least that’s how I see things – we are either pathfinders journeying to the interior of our suppressed beings, or maybe we just like to wear panties now and then. Still, you’re special, because you’ve chosen to do something distinctive with your life. Rather than follow the beat, you are decidedly off-beat, which makes you COOL in my estimation. Back in Boston (where I used to live) we would often say “wicked awesome!!!” right about now...


Are you the definite article, meaning the real thing? Are you certain, positive, and explicit? You must be outstanding in your field, next to the other beautiful flowers, because you are among your sisters now, no longer alone, making a spectacle of yourself for the benefit of yourself. Are you comfortable being not average, not typical, strange, and unconventional? That’s what you are, simply by wearing the “wrong” clothes. You are varying from an accepted standard, which happens to be something we could discuss until the cows come home – I mean, what is this “standard” that constitutes accepted behavior, and who decided what is right and what is wrong? If you feel the need to crossdress, if you desire to wear female clothing (in some capacity) to express yourself, if you wish to bring your internal “self” to the surface and clothe her in an appropriate wardrobe, how can that be wrong? It CAN’T be...

Are you a specialist? You specialize in MtF crossdressing, obviously, but are you a sub-variation among the other flowers? Maybe you like to wear a dress, or the finest hosiery, or the sensuality of lipstick stirs you into action, or female shoes are worshipped almost religiously. Maybe you keep your crossdressing hidden, under-dressing as often as you can, hiding your passion from the prying eyes of the world. I understand. I never reveal myself to non-believers, or those who do not, or cannot appreciate “special” people like us. My specialty happens to be pleated skirts, and I have many in my fetishistic closet of dreams. In my case, one item led me to try everything a MtF crossdresser can do – by necessity, I obtained the blouses, the pantyhose, the shoes, the makeup and lipstick, the wigs, the panties and the prosthetic undergarments. I never thought it would get this far, but I wasn't afraid to try things that intrigued me. I’m happy to say there was never any struggle with my masculinity, since I tucked that away a long time ago...

Are you specious? Are you beautiful, agreeable to the eye, or plausible, at least in your own mind? Imagine turning from the masculine, with the inherent characteristics we may or may not be at odds with, to the feminine, with its pleasing, inviting aspect to things – we turn to face the world in a new light. Of course, we may have been pre-disposed to crossdressing, affecting a manner and deportment constructed from years of painful trials and tribulations. The end result, a male trying on something much more comfortable and appropriate, may have been a foregone conclusion. Special handling, along with courage, is required to bring forth a new beginning, or an end to a beginning that was untrue. As far as I’m concerned, the male in us needs to listen to the special demurrer, namely the female who co-exists with him and needs to be heard, as well as SEEN. Is this peculiar? No, it’s special, according to the specifications we have chosen to follow, for the good of our species. Don’t be a spectator, be spectacular – be SPECIAL...

Thank you for reading my latest specimen of wordplay, a means to an end. I’ll stop now before I speculate any further. Do you think we’re special? I certainly do, in fact I KNOW we are...
[/SIZE]

[PretzelGirl]

Freddy, your writing is Wicked Good (from a person who grew up in RI). Yes we are all special. That is why we need to accept each and every one of us for who we are and not tell each other what we can and cannot do. I have always said, if you can imagine anyone one of us with a twist to our desire to do this thing we do, then that person exists. There is nothing the same about all of us, we just share parts and hopefully and kindred spirit.

[Gaby2]

Hi Freddy!
If your playing with cloths is anything like your wordplay then you're having a ball!
I hardly ever choose cloths though... they select me, or so it seems.
That makes me feel special too, of course.
The cloths that choose me are exclusively feminine - that just doesn't happen with drab.
My desire to do these cloths justice is growing and although I'm no specialist, yes, they are becoming more comfortable to wear.
Gaby

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm actually very happy now that I've decided that I am special. For a very long time I thought I was not special, but broken and wrong. I would heap abuse on myself, not waiting for anyone else, not wanting to give them the chance. And why would I want to? I knew what all the weak points in my defenses were, I knew how I could hurt myself so much more effectively than they could anyway.

Then slowly, and I don't know how, I turned from broken to special, negative to positive, from denial to accepting and my world has been much nicer since I accepted that I was special and it was a good thing.

[sterling12]

These days being "special" often has a whole new meaning. Like riding on The Short School Bus kind of "special."

But, now that I think about it....perhaps a lot of us are sort of "Special!" Sorry, got to go! Time to write in my thoughts about The Color of My Panties again, on our "Special" Panties Thread. "I'm just positive that everyone wants to know about my preferences!"

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Vanessa Storrs]

When I am dressed and wearing makeup I am quite the spectacle.

[ReineD]

I don't believe my SO thinks she is special. But, she did tell me that she is free.

[Patricia Jane]

You are Special!You are lovely, pleasing and confident. A person to call a Special Friend. Thank you for all your wonderful Posts!

[Karren H]

No.... I don't consider myself special....

[JustWendy]

I have this one top that I like to wear when I'm exercising. It's my special tee. Thanks for another amusing post.

Wendy

[Frédérique]

I don't believe my SO thinks she is special. But, she did tell me that she is free.

[SIZE="2"]In what way, exactly? :[/SIZE]

No.... I don't consider myself special....

[SIZE="2"]Hang on a second – I have to catch my breath. You knocked the wind out of me, Karren…

Let me count to a hundred before I respond to this overwhelming display of enthusiasm on your part. …98…99…100! OK - I think I can compose myself now…

Let me get this straight – you’ve submitted over 16 THOUSAND posts to a site dedicated to the support of crossdressers and their families, and you don’t think you’re special? Not even a little bit? Special as in peculiar, or rare, or remarkable in some way? No? Could you elaborate on that for me? Oh, never mind...


You know something, I really need to re-assess why I’m on this site, writing these lengthy posts in an effort to make a FEW people feel better (or welcome). Apparently everyone would prefer to be miserable, and think of themselves as some sort of societal miscarriage. I can read between the lines and ascertain that I’m in the wrong place (again), going against the tide of collective apathy. Indeed, why bother? It would be much better if I didn’t exist at all, and those members who are unenthused about their crossdressing could take over and set the tone here. It was like this while I was lurking, or before I became active – I couldn’t see how I fit in, so I stayed on the outside. The thing is, I WANTED to read something positive about crossdressing, specifically the MtF variety, so I felt I had to write those pieces myself. It seems like I’m writing for myself, which is not a bad thing, but pardon me if I get completely deflated by a casual comment now and then. Trying to meet kindred spirits takes a lot of time and effort, and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s worth it…

Maybe I have this all wrong. We, as MtF crossdressers, are not special at all, and we need to find a way to re-incorporate ourselves into society pronto, correct? Let’s clean out our precious closets and have a big bonfire – yeah, the “bonfire of the panties!” You know, the more I think about it, the more SENSE it makes – why have I been wasting my life trying to look like, walk like, talk like, and even think like a female? I must be in denial about being male. Yeah, that's it! Let’s get back to that fork in the road we took a long time ago, and undo the serious mistake we made. Who have I been kidding? Frankly, it’ll be FUN to stay away from this site and get some constructive work done for a change. Ah, freedom from people who don’t think they’re special, freedom from deflating one-line posts, and freedom from enthusiasm-killing apathetic behavior. I actually did a lot MORE crossdressing before I joined this site, but I’ve been watching my appreciation of femininity depreciate steadily before my eyes. I still think I’m special (I have to), so I don’t think I need to spell it out to others any longer. I can be free to rebuild my stash, crossdress in peace, and no longer express my feelings with words. Ah, bliss…

What’s the use of trying to inflate, or reinforce, someone’s confidence about crossdressing, when they will eventually encounter the deflating individuals who kill enthusiasm out of hand? In the words of my teacher some years ago, “I don’t NEED it!” Thanks, Karren, for showing me the way. I’ve been waiting for a “message” to arrive that will guide me, and I think you have accomplished the feat quite nicely. I wish you well in your un-special crossdressing adventures, along with all the other CD’ers who are unimpressed by what they do. You’re right, and I’m obviously very wrong. I have a little more to write (I think), and then Freddy will fade into the sunset, just another disillusioned boy who tried to be a girl. There’s certainly nothing special about THAT, right?

Am I serious? I admire people who think before they write something, and think about who may read it, be it long or short - that’s how I want to do things. With that in mind, I thought about this post all day long. Ultimately, I write these pieces to express my “self,” and I think I just did…

PS – If you’re reading this, Karren, I owe you a debt of gratitude. This is for you, darling: [/SIZE]

[ReineD]

[SIZE="2"]In what way, exactly? :[/SIZE]

She feels free to be who she is.

EDIT - I'm sorry if it was also my comment that deflated you. It wasn't meant as a criticism. I was parroting my SO's description of herself. I think it is important for people to know they are appreciated. I still don't think that CDers are any more special than anyone else though, although I do believe they have an added dimension. But, others also have their gifts.

[Gaby2]

[SIZE="2"][/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]1) ... I really need to re-assess why I’m on this site...
2) ... I can read between the lines and ascertain that I’m in the wrong place (again)...
3) ... Indeed, why bother? It would be much better if I didn’t exist at all...
4) ... and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s worth it…

Maybe I have this all wrong...
5) ... I must be in denial about being male...
6) ... In the words of my teacher some years ago, “I don’t NEED it!”...
7) ... I have a little more to write (I think), and then Freddy will fade into the sunset...
... Am I serious?... [/SIZE]

Yeah, I think you're serious, Freddy.
I hope I'm wrong but it would be much too dangerous to be flippant and take light of your remarks.
If I'm wrong, then I'll be the first to have a good laugh about myself taking your (in hindsight) tongue-in-cheek remarks seriously.

Forgive my spontaneity, Freddy, if I write a few thoughts down now and not wait in your preferred manner.

Sounds like a purge to me...
I'm glad I've put that way of thinking in many of my real-life situations (i.e., not only CDing) behind me for good.

1) I re-assess every day why I'm on this site.

2) When reading between the lines, I try not to jump to conclusions...
but I always do jump to conclusions, and mostly negative ones for some strange reason...
(That's one reason why I'm not a lawyer making lots and lots of money!)
I suppose that's normal, as most of us seem to do it...
CDing (and this site) attracts me because it helps me to challenge my all-too-human self-doubting.

3) Hmm, Freddy... did you really think long enough about that before writing it?
That hit me like a bombshell.
Do you know how hard it is for me to make an effort?
I'm glad you take the time to write what you do - your posts merit my attention.
But so do Karren's.

4) Only you can answer that. I hope that you think it's worth it.


But maybe I, Gaby, have this all wrong...
5) As a Cder, I'm giving my masculinity a fantastic, healthy new dimension.

6) Your teacher perhaps used the word "not" once too often... ?

7) Try riding backwards... that's the nice thing about rowing in the direction of sunset... one gets to see what the sun is looking at!

So... Miss Special! If you weren't being serious, then you owe me 20 at the pub!
Gaby

[suzy1]

Freddy, you seem be trying to take on the problems of hole community here.
There is a vast difference of opinions here. And there will always be some that do not agree or appreciate what you say. [And you say it very well]
I have just had a difference of opinion with a member who is just not on the same planet as the rest of us!
So take a deep breath, take life just a little bit less seriously and most important of all, keep posting. The place would not be the same without you.

SUZY

[Anne2345]

I still don't think that CDers are any more special than anyone else though, although I do believe they have an added dimension.

I disagree. I do believe we are special by virtue of this "added dimension." But I believe our specialness is derived from much more than this mere "added dimension." It is derived from our courage to accept and embrace our gift in the face of adversity. Society does not understand us, and has offered us little or no truly meaningful and legitimate acceptance within its ranks. We are not welcomed with open arms to be who we are, with no fear of negative consequence or persecution.

Even more so, society teaches all from birth that it is normal and expected for a specific gender to act in accordance with the "rules" set by society for that gender. Any behavior or lifestyle that exists outside of society's definition of "normal" is by default abnormal. We are misunderstood. We are discriminated against. We are the butt of vicious and hurtful jokes. We are ridiculed. Sometimes violence is committed against those like us. Although true there are many people out there with kind hearts, or those that simply do not care how another chooses to live one's life, those people do not make up for the ignorant, immature, and misguided folks that view us negatively, and would discriminate against us given the least amount of perceived provocation.

So how does this equate to our specialness? In the face of this adversity, it takes tremendous personal courage to be who we are. Do you not remember the fear or confusion you felt when you first began crossdressing (obviously, Reine, this question is not directed at you )? Or when you first recognized that you needed to crossdress? Or when it finally dawned on you that you were actually a real, bona fide crossdresser? I would imagine for most that this was difficult to reconcile within one’s thoughts, given the manner in which we are raised under the restrictive tenets of society. Moreover, I have read enough posts on this forum to know that some crossdressers even with many years under their belts still fear their own crossdressing, and the reasons why they do it. Such things can be difficult to reconcile, indeed, in the face of such adversity.

And yet, we dare to crossdress and be ourselves, regardless! We overcome this fear and confusion! We overcome the misguided teachings and socialization of society that has attempted to limit and stifle our personal being. We strive for personal acceptance and inner harmony within the self. We actively seek out our own identity and truth, and explore the essence of ourselves. Along the way we learn to appreciate beauty, compassion, and ideals in a manner that the stereotypical male cannot. In fact, the stereotypical male would steadfastly deny any feelings or thoughts that go counter towards society’s definition of masculinity. Such males view experiencing femininity as a weakness, to be disavowed and avoided at all costs. In this regard, the stereotypical male is weak, ignorant, and blind. We are neither weak, ignorant, nor blind.

So it takes courage to be the beautiful people that we are. I am not claiming to be a “complete” person by any stretch of the imagination, but I am definitely more “complete” than I ever have been without Anne. And I become more complete through the further evolution of Anne. I have the courage and desire to embrace and accept myself, and to seek femininity in all of its blessed glory, to the extent that I can, and desire. I live in two worlds. But these two worlds of mine are not mutually exclusively, and frequently come together to form a much larger, more special world. I do not limit myself to a single, unforgiving, and unenlightened world as much of society does. I embrace the magic and wonder of crossdressing, and I become special in so doing. We all do.

By the way, just out of curiosity, how high is this bar set to determine what constitutes “special,” anyways? Who determines what qualities are “special,” and what qualities are not? For myself, in order for a quality to be considered “special,” it must meet very high standards and criteria. I do not have a definition per se, but I know it when I see it. And in this, I could not see any more clearer than I currently do – we have cleared the bar with plenty of room to spare! Rejoice in being special! I know I do!

[ReineD]

By the way, just out of curiosity, how high is this bar set to determine what constitutes “special,” anyways? Who determines what qualities are “special,” and what qualities are not? For myself, in order for a quality to be considered “special,” it must meet very high standards and criteria. I do not have a definition per se, but I know it when I see it.

This is why I think that we all are special. Everyone has their challenges, the things they must overcome, and in my view their specialness is revealed once you get to know them intimately. And especially once you get to love them.

[Frédérique]

1) I think you're serious, Freddy. If I'm wrong, then I'll be the first to have a good laugh about myself taking your (in hindsight) tongue-in-cheek remarks seriously.
2) I re-assess every day why I'm on this site.
3) ... did you really think long enough about that before writing it? That hit me like a bombshell.
4) I'm glad you take the time to write what you do - your posts merit my attention. But so do Karren's.

[SIZE="2"]1) I’m serious about my disappointment, that’s for sure. As for the rest, I’ll keep you guessing…
2) Same here. I’ve been through some turbulent patches, and I OFTEN wonder why I’m here…
3) Yes, I did, because I really don’t want to write such things. However, people keep telling me they are entitled to their opinions, and those opinions are allowed on this site, so I thought I would follow suit. Judging by the reaction, or lack of, I’m glad I did…
4) Everybody’s posts “merit my attention,” but I tend to dismiss counter-productive blather for what it is. I have no beef with Ms. Hutton, but taking the time to write something that is NOT meaningful or elaborative in any way screams “I don’t care,” and that bothers me. I really hate apathetic responses – it would be like me responding to your post by simply writing, “You got it wrong,” Gaby, and not explaining what I meant. I’m sure Karren likes to crossdress, otherwise she wouldn’t be here, but if she doesn’t think she’s “special,” I’d just like to know why…

Gaby, I like the "numbering" idea - COOL! [/SIZE]

Society does not understand us, and has offered us little or no truly meaningful and legitimate acceptance within its ranks. We are not welcomed with open arms to be who we are, with no fear of negative consequence or persecution.

[SIZE="2"]We MUST be special because we have been marginalized by society – in this way, “special” is a synonym for “pervert,” but I won’t get into THAT again! Anything “apart” is special, because it does not fit neatly into a pre-determined category, like a special case, a special session, or a special operation. In our case, the circumstances of our existence are different from others, so you can rightly say we are special – whether or not we deserve special treatment is another matter, but I’m happy just being a “rare bird,” as innocuous as this thread was meant to be…[/SIZE]

This is why I think that we all are special.

[SIZE="2"]We cannot possibly all be “deviating from an accepted standard,” so, therefore, we cannot ALL be special. We may all be worthy of consideration, but that does make us "special" in some way? If everyone IS special, why do many of us crossdressers revel in our apart-ness? Indeed, why deviate at all, if the accepted standard is so wonderful? Is it possible that crossdressing is anti-special, and the whole thing is a huge misunderstanding?

Relax - I’m just playing with this one definition of an over-used word, trying to make a point about crossdressing. In truth, you can accept any definition and make it your own. I am definitely APART, and have been most of my life, so I am special according to the situation I find myself in, and the personal definition I am going by. However, I am in no way superior to anyone, which may be the definition most people accept for the word special - in this way some crossdressers may be reluctant to embrace the term. I am peculiar, so I am special – don’t think about it too much…

PS - It wasn't YOUR post that deflated me, Reine... [/SIZE]

[ReineD]

Still, I'm sorry if I did put a thorn in this thread. I'm on my phone right now so I can't quote selectively.

I think my attitude comes from having raised kids and having lived, by default, in a world with them, their friends, their cousins, their schoolmates. Some of these kids truly had remarkable talents. Others struggled in various ways, intellectually, emotionally, or physically. Still others were ordinary by most standards, yet some of these kids rose quietly among the fray with acts of goodness and unselfishness beyond their years. I don't know if any of these boys were trans. Probably.

I learned throughout these years that everyone is valid. Everyone is special in their own way.

[Pattie O]

I just believe everyone is equal,even though the reality of life is that they may not be treated that way.

[Iskandra]

Well interesting.. very much so...
Frédérique, don't stop writing due to difference of opinion, many great writers, philosophers and 'revolutionaries', wrote and did because there was a difference..
The world is not changed by sheep!

I think it boils down to our individual opinion of what special means..
Special to me is not in the clothes you wear, no matter how controversial! I could dress like the pope and be extremely controversial to certain people, that would not make me special...

A heart surgeon, a soldier giving like for country, someone who volunteers 50 hours a week to help the less fortunate, etc... those people are special in skills and selflessness..
How does that compare to the 'specialness' of crossdressing? Do we risk our lives? no, do we take other peopes lives in our hands? no...
Someone who runs a marathon with one leg, trains to be an astronaut? Can you dive 162 meters underwater and hold your breath for over 5 minutes?
How does crossdressing push the body beyond physical limit of endurance?!

No dear Frédérique, you be you, write your heart out, wear your pleated skirts to your hearts content! That is not what makes you special, or any of us..
What makes us special is that we are all unique, that we all have something someone else doesn't have... Like your writing, people look forward to reading your posts,and guess what, no-one here care how you are dressed when you write them.. They are looking past the clothes and only see the unique (special) person that is expressing what they think and feel.. Like it or not, they are seeing your soul..

No dear girl, clothes do no make anyone special... It's our souls, which are like snowflakes that make us special!

[carhill2mn]

According to my Random House Webster dictionary, we are indeed, "special". We certainly are not "ordinary"! Am I "special"? I like to think so.

[Debutante]

I was born in Boston, and grew up north of it........ what beautiful writing!
Yes, we feel different, we are other than the Others... we are special... that is a much better way to perceive ourselves... despite what all
think.........

[lynn_lynn]

I was born not to far from Mr Rogers neighborhood.. So yes, I am Special..

[Frédérique]

Still, I'm sorry if I did put a thorn in this thread.

[SIZE="2"]I don’t see it that way at all, so relax – I enjoy reading your contributions. By all means, keep Reine-ing on my parade! Sorry, I can’t help myself sometimes...
[/SIZE]

I learned throughout these years that everyone is valid. Everyone is special in their own way.

[SIZE="2"]According to your definition, and that is also valid. I’m sure that society, whoever or whatever it is, will agree with your assessment that everyone is special – why, then, is individualism curtailed or discouraged as we “mature?” I think there’s a double standard at work here...[/SIZE]

What makes us special is that we are all unique, that we all have something someone else doesn't have... Like your writing, people look forward to reading your posts,and guess what, no-one here care how you are dressed when you write them.. They are looking past the clothes and only see the unique (special) person that is expressing what they think and feel.. Like it or not, they are seeing your soul.. No dear girl, clothes do no make anyone special... It's our souls, which are like snowflakes that make us special!

[SIZE="2"]Thanks for the kind words – it’s very reassuring when someone takes the time to think about the topic, and then carefully chooses words to submit. In other words, I appreciate your effort!

What you say is true. The feminine clothes are merely the outer manifestation of something more profound that has taken place – I’m sure some members will think that is a pretentious thing to say, but, in my case, the shoe (a Mary-Jane) fits. I have a hard time grasping the concept that everyone is special in some way – I would amend that to read “Everyone has the potential to be special,” and leave it at that. The person who showers me with insults, dismissing my “lifestyle” out of hand and threatening me with physical harm, is NOT special in my book. He (and it’s usually a “he”) can be reformed, but he surrounds himself with other non-special people who are not really true individuals. I seek to be apart from all that, rather than a part of it, and that makes me special without any further ado...
[/SIZE]

[diannecourtney]

Frederirque: You have expressed it so well, the arrogance of some replies is astonishing but every third reply of the of 16,000 has the same inflection. So, just realize most of us feel as you do, thank you so much.