is it normal for a guy to compliment ladys

[Brenda Locke]

Why not. If it looks good on the person theirs no harm in saying so.

Brenda.

[GingerLeigh]

I tell my wife how what she's wearing looks nice or how wonderful her ensemble is. I never think about it, I just blurt it out in normal conversation. As for the women I work with, nope. For one, none of them wear anything remotely attractive to work. For another, one time I complimented a female co-worker on how great she looked after losing weight, and embarrassed she didn't talk to me for weeks (which I still think is kind of weird). People are funny. Anyway, I don't think it's normal for a "non-crossdressing" male to compliment a woman's wardrobe. It would be too "girly" for him to notice something like that and he wouldn't want to be under suspicion.

Ginger

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I compliment women sometimes on their clothes, but only if what they are wearing is really nice. I've complimented customers in my supermarket and they have no problem. A young lady came in the other day and I liked her long dress, I said to her "I love your dress, its very pretty", she just said "thankyou very much", and i said "where'd you buy it?". she said "Forever new in the city". I said "Must check it out". But, I dont care what people think of my reaction. I'm totally comfy with who I am.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Joan has an excellent point. When I was growing up, sometime around the age where we could/would be entering the workforce (around the time sexual harassment was becoming a big issue in the media) we were told over and over again never point out or mention a female coworker's appearance because it is such a potential lightning rod. Their point they said is there is nothing to be professionally gained by doing so and it only takes one woman to take it the wrong way and the consequences could be huge. As innocent as it may be it only takes one loon and they could cause no end of trouble for you and it just isn't worth it. (As others have said, at work men are presumed guilty until proven innocent in such matters.)

[Frédérique]

is it normal for a guy to compliment ladys

[SIZE="2"]Is it normal? Probably not – I feel a bit shy about complimenting a lady, mainly because I know she’s not expecting it. That being said, it’s fun to compliment a woman in front of her husband, making her feel good, and making HIM look bad! I complimented a woman on her beautiful nails not too long ago – I’m pretty sure she was a lady, but don’t hold me to it...
[/SIZE]

[gerri ray]

It;s perfectly normal. I compliment women's attire all the time. It puts a smile on their face.

[StephanieC]

It's certainly normal for one woman to compliment another on a cute outfit. The fact that you did it indicates that this transformation we're involved in goes deeper than just clothes.

Interesting. I was just talking to one of the girls at the office today about this. She said that a woman's attitude immediately changes when she knows someone is gay (or equivalent) because they are no longer a threat. They are more vulnerable, but also willing to discuss things they would not ordinarily discuss with guys.

So, if you are not a threat, these sort of comments would be accept for what they are. Otherwise, they may be interpreted through a filter.

[Shananigans]

It's nice when a man notices our attire. Usually men will say, "You look nice today." But, they can't exactly put together what you did that looks really good haha. Compliments that we generally look nice are always good. But, the best compliments are specific like "that dress really looks nice on you" or "I really like that color of blouse on you." (I'm from Alabama....I say blouse). It's a bit more "abnormal" to say "cute dress" or "cute shoes." My gay best friend says this a lot, but he's pretty much the only one. Most guys just say they how whatever article of clothing I have on looks on me.. I wouldn't automatically think a guy was gay just because he said "cute dress, girl!"...but, I might find it a bit more amusing than the other style of compliments. Either way, all compliments are nice as long as you aren't being a creeper.

[sara.s]

If a co worker looks beautiful/pretty, then I only say "you look good today". To be on the safer side, I add "today" just to imply that "i don't notice you everyday". It also matters how you say it. If you say it with wild open eyes, she may perceive it as a harassment.

Also, I don't think you could be charged for harassment for saying "You are dressed very professional", because what follows this comment is generally "Are you meeting any clients?". Even otherwise, I think this is okay.

[Billie Jean]

Every girl likes to feel pretty and complimenting them is reassurance. I say things like that to girls all the time and they seem to really like it. Billie Jean

[Adriennegrl]

Lots of good opinions, not sure I can add much. I think most guys say 'you look nice', or 'that dress is hot'. A girl to girl comment would be more like 'nice shoes girl', or 'cute blouse', etc. I've almost slipped w/ the latter more than once

I do flirt w/ women sometimes. Like the bank teller today, she's a gorgeous middle aged woman. I often compliment her and her smile lights me up.

[boardpuppy]

Complimenting this one teller always brings a smile to her face and you know it makes me feel good also. It was really worth the effort the day she did $5000 plus damage to her truck and the smile after that conversation was really worth the effort.

[Speck]

Here's another perspective from a GG...

In my lifetime, I've been very fortunate to get many compliments from men. However, I would classify the types of compliments into two main categories:

1. They have an agenda
2. There's no agenda but they don't notice enough details to be specific about why something looks nice/good.

The CD in my life draws attention to himself when he compliments a woman because "he knows too much" and does it too frequently. If you're trying to stay under the radar, you're best bet is to hand out the compliments sparingly and when you do, don't be specific. Just say something like...you look lovely today.

On the other hand, if you don't care about being "found out" then by all means, everybody loves compliments.

Speck

[eluuzion]

If by “normal” you mean socially “appropriate”, I would say yes, as long as you do not drool when you are making the compliment,

I always acknowledge things & people I find attractive. I feel there is always a way to compliment somebody without appearing to be “Chester-the-Molester“. I find that most people can readily distinguish the difference between a genuine compliment and a personal agenda in play.

[prene]

i do it all the time.

[sometimes_miss]

We had this discussion at work; basically, whenever a man makes a nice comment on a woman's attire, it simply indicates sexual interest, but it usually goes over the woman's head, because she's so often discussing attire with other women, so she just takes it as a compliment on her taste. For us, the discussion came up about comments on shoes; the vast majority of men don't give a crap about woman's shoes, other than those few fetishists who are into feet, but those are few and far between. So when a guy tells her she has nice shoes, it just means we want to have sex with her. It became a standing joke to tell one of the girls that she had nice shoes to see what kind of response she gave before she realized that it only meant we were expressing covert sexual desire. It does make for laughs at work though, sometimes. Basically, women LOVE compliments about the details of her looks; simply saying they look great doesn't do it, but compliment a piece of clothing or jewelry she picked out herself? They eat it up. And, I think we don't do it often enough. That's my new goal; tell at least one woman a day how nice something that most would seem trivial, looks on her. Just my effort to make the world a happier place.

[Jenny Gurl]

I do it when I see something I think is cute or makes them look good, but I tell them why. "Those are cool looking earrings, I don't think I've seen anything like them". The way they are designed reminds me of X. This is usually followed by a genuine smile, and a story of where they got them, why they chose them, and the boast that they were a good deal because there was a sale. They usually take it as a genuine compliment because they know me, and know I really mean it. If something makes them look bad, I keep it to myself because I believe in positivity. Clothing is a little harder to complement without risking getting in trouble but again I tell them why. "That dress is so cute, the design or pattern looks like X and reminds me of a day at the beach". Obviously I would never say, "I love the way the low cut V shows off your cleavage, you've really got it going on girlfriend". That would be specific to their body not the artists pattern, and an HR suicide statement, even if it were true. I believe when a girl goes to all the trouble to pick out patterns to buy, match them, coordinate them with shoes, handbag, nails, etc. she has earned a compliment, and I can hardly refrain from giving her one because I know how hard she worked for it. A regular guy would probably say "you look nice today", but like Shananigans said above, if you specify why they are more likely to believe the complement is real and not just a cordial part of the conversation. In a world where ladies are more and more dressing down for comfort, I really appreciate the ones who go to all the effort to look really nice every now and then.

[Steph.TS]

We had this discussion at work; basically, whenever a man makes a nice comment on a woman's attire, it simply indicates sexual interest, but it usually goes over the woman's head, because she's so often discussing attire with other women, so she just takes it as a compliment on her taste. For us, the discussion came up about comments on shoes; the vast majority of men don't give a crap about woman's shoes, other than those few fetishists who are into feet, but those are few and far between. So when a guy tells her she has nice shoes, it just means we want to have sex with her. It became a standing joke to tell one of the girls that she had nice shoes to see what kind of response she gave before she realized that it only meant we were expressing covert sexual desire. It does make for laughs at work though, sometimes. Basically, women LOVE compliments about the details of her looks; simply saying they look great doesn't do it, but compliment a piece of clothing or jewelry she picked out herself? They eat it up. And, I think we don't do it often enough. That's my new goal; tell at least one woman a day how nice something that most would seem trivial, looks on her. Just my effort to make the world a happier place.

the only women I deal with really are at work, and I want to be very careful that my compliements, don't out me, or aren't interpreted as sexual harrassment. those are the 2 reasons I keep my compliments to myself.

[linda allen]

I was brought up to my boss for sexual harassment by one of my employees early in my career. The reason: I had walked by her desk to talk and before leaving said "Nice blouse." That was 20 years ago and I have not complimented a woman (except my wife or GF) on anything they were wearing since then.

Yes, you have to watch who you say what to, especially at some jobs. Even someone walking by who wasn't part of the conversation can get you in trouble. A friend of mine got a two week suspension without pay for saying something to a friend at work. Someone else was walking by, heard it, and turned him in.

Another thing to watch for is the jealous boy friend. Some guys can't stand anyone talking to "their woman".

[NicoleScott]

When I compliment, it's usually a general statement like "you look really nice" rather than " I love those high heels" or "I love that lipstick color".

[Sarah Doepner]

It's a different conversation depending on where you happen to be. In the workplace you have many serious concerns that have to factored in to avoid HR issues. In public talking to strangers while shopping is probably not normal, but can be done without compromising yourself or embarrassing the woman. In a other social settings, like a bar, it would probably be taken as a pickup line.

I've complimented women on their shoes, clothing, hair and accessories, but not frequently. I tend to be very restrained unless I know the person or see them on a regular basis. The receptionist at the Doctor's office always has something cute on and while I don't use the word cute, I let her know she was successful in putting together a pleasing outfit. With practice and restraint I've gotten better and always seem to get a "thanks" and a smile.

[BillieJoEllen]

I will often times compliment a woman on what she is wearing or her hairstyle. I've never had any regrets about that. I don't quite get the sexual harrassment think when a woman is complimented but I know it happens. I've never perceived that a woman 'took it' wrong when I've complimented her.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I will often times compliment a woman on what she is wearing or her hairstyle. I've never had any regrets about that. I don't quite get the sexual harrassment think when a woman is complimented but I know it happens. I've never perceived that a woman 'took it' wrong when I've complimented her.

Problem is, it only takes one goofball to take an innocent complement the wrong way and there can be no end of trouble for the man. Of course the vast majority of women would never do that, but it only takes that "one"; if it were I no way would I risk it at a workplace in this day and age.

Of course, this kind of silliness minimizes real sexual harassment and in the end makes it harder for real victims to get justice, but I digress...

[Adrienne Heels]

I think if you do it in a friendly way with a nice smile, there is no problem.

[donnatracey]

The consensus seems to be you have to be very careful complimenting a woman in the work place. Since I'm retired I guess I can compliment away......