So... what´s so good about it? ;)

[Suziecue]

Since Ive known about my SOs CD Ive always wondered why...
So I thought Id ask the same question here, trust me Im not trying to pick a fight

My SO just has a hard time answering it, and I thought that maybe it could help him aswell to see what the rest of you think is so wonderful about crossdressing

So; what makes crossdressing so fantastic, why do you do it? And as I said before Im just curious, ok really nosy... but anyway I just wanna know cause I know nothing better than taking my bra off, so how come my SO cant wait to put his on?


/Suzie

[Karren H]

This just my opinion. From someone who is driven to crossdress. Not chooses to. But I accept that and embrace it but there is nothing good... It overly complicates my life. My relationships. Its expensive as hell. Being caught between two genders really sucks.... I'd settle for staying in one or the other in a heartbeat.. Either! I'm not choosy! Lol. Yeah I love makeup and fashion but I do not have a choice. Its either embrace it and move forward or set here and wallow in misery for the rest of my life. Probably not what your going to here. But it is honestly the way I feel.

[Eryn]

Suzie, that's an eternal question that many CDers themselves have difficulty with. There are also as many motivations behind crossdressing as there are crossdressers.

Imagine being in a world where half of the population enjoyed chocolate, there were chocolate shops on every corner, all around you the media pushed attractive images of chocolate, yet you weren't allowed any. There is no physical reason for this restriction, but society prohibits it. Chocolate eaters walk up to you licking their fingers and telling you how good the chocolate tastes but recoil in revulsion if you ask them for a taste. They blatantly display their enjoyment with no thought at all for the feelings of those who cannot partake. You cannot escape it, for the aroma of chocolate is everywhere and even some of the people in your home are chocolate eaters so there is always a supply around.

That's kind of what CDing is like for me. I see women wearing beautiful things and expressing themselves in so many wonderful ways both visual and verbal and want to be able to do the same thing myself. Society says that I must wear a very restricted range of clothing and colors and communicate only in a certain way with others.

Other men (and, for that matter, women) don't seem to have this desire but for some reason I'm saddled with it.

Oh, wearing a bra isn't terribly comfortable for me either, but like you I put up with it to maintain the appearance I desire. It does feel good when it comes off!

Hugs, Eryn

[Suziecue]

Great! Now I need some chocolate! And all of a sudden everything is so clear to me....without my chocolate what would I do!?!!!

Thanks hun!

/Suzie

[joannemarie barker]

as you're a gg I can't really explain how exciting it is for me when I hoist a skirt up over my panties,it's like all my birthdays coming at once

[Always Susan]

My SO and I are the same with way she can't wait to get out of her's and I can't wait to get into mine. There are as many answers as there are menbers here. For me It's just feels right...the feminine part of me. What you might take for granted is a thrill for CDs like us. Bra's , panties, slips and gridles are for women and a way to express what I feel is my female side.
IMHO women should take it as a compliment that we are willing to expose our ture feeling in such a way. I guess it just feels natural which isn't really a answer after all.

[suzy1]

Suzie, I and meny others have asked themselves this same question.
I have crossdressed since I was 3 years old or as far back as I can remember.
But I still have no idea why. Not a clue.
The nearest I can come to an explanation is to say it’s a part of me and it gives me great pleasure. And on top of that I could never change that part of me anymore than I can give up breathing or eating. I am built this way.
I do go on a bit!

SUZY

[Alice B]

A lot of what Karren said applies to me also and Eryn's analogy is great. I'm kind of caught in a time warp. I love my male side and have lots of enjoyment being a male and being seen as such. But, that said I also love my time being dressed and look forward to it with a passion. I feel different, feel pretty (even if I'm not) and feel sexy when being Alice. I'm sure advertising through out my life had a role in this. I know I'm not a woman, but want to feel like one when I'm Alice. My wife understands and accepts this after considerable discussion, as long as I do not place her in an awkward situation.

I just got back from a month doing photography in Iceland. Not once did my desire to dress arise, but the moment I was back I went in and have my legs, arms and eyebrows waxed. And have my finger and toe nails manicured and toe nails painted. It make me feel good about myself and for the feeling that goes with it. Like your SO I can't provide an exact answer because I don't know it. I just know that the need to dress (fully) is something that I have to do and enjoy doing. Sure there is some sexual relationship applied to it, but at my age it is very minor and not a goal to dressing.

Acceptance by you is got to be extremely important for your SO and the fact that you've come to this site shows that you are trying to be just that. Accepting. Hugs to you.

[DonnaT]

The why of why we dress is quite complicated. Many start CDing for different reasons, but find once we've started it just felt right.

For example, I'm right handed, if I try to write with my left hand it just feels wrong, can't do it legibly. But with my right, it just feels right, and felt right from the beginning when I first started to write.

[Suziecue]

The why of why we dress is quite complicated. Many start CDing for different reasons, but find once we've started it just felt right.

For example, I'm right handed, if I try to write with my left hand it just feels wrong, can't do it legibly. But with my right, it just feels right, and felt right from the beginning when I first started to write.

Just a small question here Does everyone feel more at home when they are dressed or is it more like 50/50... hmm, maybe that didnt make much sence... My SO says that he enjoys both being a girl and beeing a guy, so is that the case for some of you too, or does the man-part feel like writing with your left hand?

[Cristi]

I think Eryn's post pretty much says it all. The most frustrating thing is the aspect 'We love chocolate but YOU can't have any. Not for any real reason, but just because those are the arbitrary rules'. Sometimes I think that if we could just have this conversation with everbody out there, the stigma of crossdressing would fade away overnight. It really is based on silly meaningless rules.

I don't think I've ever read where anybody has really been able to put a finger on the 'why'. The closest I think you can get is to come of with some similar feeling YOU may get from other activities.
Maybe imagine the feeling you get after a long day when you can sink into a hot tub for a soak?
The contentment of a quite afternoon with a cup of tea and a good book?
Pretty much anything you do that makes you go 'Ahhh... I really needed that'.
THAT is the feeling I get when I haven't had a chance to dress for a few day and finally get the opportunity to put on a skirt or dress and relax. Same feelings, just a different trigger.

Plus, I think that women DO get the same feeling. When it is a hot Summer day and they can put on a light Summer dress to be comfortable, they surely do enjoy the feeling it gives them (otherwise why would they do it?)... they just don't feel it is deeply since it is not something that is a 'forbidden fruit' for them.

My SO says that he enjoys both being a girl and beeing a guy, so is that the case for some of you too, or does the man-part feel like writing with your left hand?

Even more complicated than that, many CDs don't see it as a boy/girl thing. I don't feel like I have a 'girl' side at all, I am a guy ALL of the time, I just like to put on different clothes sometimes.
A more apt description for me would be sometimes I like wearing a suit, sometimes shorts and a tshirt, and other times a skirt or dress. It doesn't change who *I* am when I put on different clothes. I know that others have different feelings about this and actually have a personality change with the change of clothes.

[Sandra]

I don't think I've ever read where anybody has really been able to put a finger on the 'why'.

How about it's apart of who you are

[suzy1]

Just a small question here Does everyone feel more at home when they are dressed or is it more like 50/50... hmm, maybe that didnt make much sence... My SO says that he enjoys both being a girl and beeing a guy, so is that the case for some of you too, or does the man-part feel like writing with your left hand?

Yes Suzie. thats exactly how it is for me. 50/50

[Cynthia Anne]

I ask why not dress! Without dressing I am living a lie! I must be true to myself before I can be true to others! Beleive me, I have tried to quit so many times that I have lost count! Until I started excepteing myself I was suicidel! Now I'm a happy 'girl'! Hugs!

[DonnaT]

Even more complicated than that, many CDs don't see it as a boy/girl thing. I don't feel like I have a 'girl' side at all, I am a guy ALL of the time, I just like to put on different clothes sometimes.
A more apt description for me would be sometimes I like wearing a suit, sometimes shorts and a tshirt, and other times a skirt or dress. It doesn't change who *I* am when I put on different clothes. I know that others have different feelings about this and actually have a personality change with the change of clothes.

Sounds about right for me too.

There's different levels of trans. It's a wide spectrum.

[Cynthia Anne]

Just a small question here Does everyone feel more at home when they are dressed or is it more like 50/50... hmm, maybe that didnt make much sence... My SO says that he enjoys both being a girl and beeing a guy, so is that the case for some of you too, or does the man-part feel like writing with your left hand?

I resemble that! 'Cause this country girl DOES write with her left hand!

[Suziecue]

I resemble that! 'Cause this country girl DOES write with her left hand!

Oh I DO appologize! :P

[Lissa Stevens]

This just my opinion. From someone who is driven to cross dress. Not chooses to. But I accept that and embrace it but there is nothing good... It overly complicates my life. My relationships. Its expensive as hell. Being caught between two genders really sucks.... I'd settle for staying in one or the other in a heartbeat.. Either! I'm not choosy! Lol. Yeah I love makeup and fashion but I do not have a choice. Its either embrace it and move forward or set here and wallow in misery for the rest of my life. Probably not what your going to here. But it is honestly the way I feel.

My answer is pretty much what Karren said. It's not that there's anything so good about it. In fact the whole thing sucks. I wish I hadn't been born this way but I was. My life would be so much easier if I wasn't transgender. To me it's no different than being born with a handicap or a disease. We just have to learn to deal with it.

[Anne2345]

If we take the time to look for it, there is great beauty in the world. Beauty, in fact, surrounds us. There is beauty in life, and in being alive, if we do not close our eyes to it. And there is beauty in gender.

Like others here, I am without a choice when it comes to crossdressing. Had I a choice, however, I would still choose to crossdress, and would not change a thing. The essence of femininity is indeed wondrous and magical, but one can also list the positive attributes of masculinity. I believe that everyone, to some degree or another, has traits of both genders within. Obviously, some possess more traits of the opposite gender than others. Many undoubtedly deny or hide any traits that do not conform to the expectations of those around them.

But crossdressers do not. For me, as one possessed of both masculine and feminine traits, I seek to discover and realize the complete being that I am. If I ignored the feminine side of myself, I would do so at the expense of my mental well-being, and would therefore commit a tremendous disservice and injustice to myself. I do not want to be a partial person. I refuse be a partial person.

Hence, I crossdress, and proactively seek out femininity to the extent I can. As we mature, grow older, and come to understand ourselves better, we also evolve as individuals. I like to think that such evolution results in the completion of the individual, whatever that may be. Crossdressing for me is not only a physical endeavor, but one of the mind. I need not be dressed for the part to crossdress. I am capable of “mentally” crossdressing, and achieving what I believe and perceive to be a feminine state of mind and perspective.

By living in two worlds, worlds that frequently overlap to form a larger, more beautiful world, I achieve an inner-sense of personal satisfaction, well-being, and perception that those who occupy only one gender may fail to appreciate. I by no means am claiming to be a gender-snob, or to state that individuals who live within the realm of only one gender cannot attain equal bliss, but I do truly believe that this perspective and desire, or rather need, to crossdress is a magnificent gift. And in such a gift, I see great beauty.

I do not and cannot assign a percentage to the time that I crossdress, or even state with certainty how I necessarily feel while completely dressed, as opposed to while in drab, to the complete exclusion of the other. In this, as I stated above, it is also a state of mind. My feminine persona, Anne, is always with me, even if at times she is only in the background.

I am glad you are asking these questions, and attempting to understand us further. Your SO is a beautiful person! And so are you for accepting him, and attempting to broaden your own horizons! You have my respect, admiration, and appreciation, and I wish you and your SO well!

[suchacutie]

I have an easier time answering your question than most of the girls here because for 55 years I was "just a guy", or so I thought. Then, suddenly, my wife and I spent a weekend away from home and discovered that I have a part of me that is feminine. Within 48 hours we came up with ground rules, a name, an e-mail address, and I joined this website. It was all a rush, but it all seemed suddenly so clear!

So, for us it became an adventure to learn about Tina: who she is, what she is like, what role she's played in my past, present, and future. After 55 years as a "guy" I had developed a vested interest in a lot of "guy" activities, not to mention that my profession assumed a guy would show up in the morning for work. So, we quickly decided to keep my gendered selves as completely separate as possible. In that way Tina would be able to "do her thing" and we'd better find out just who she is! And did we ever find out. Just as starters, Tina is primarily left handed where my "guy" self is primarily right handed. Tina has her own opinions, books she like, movies she and my wife watch (that I can't stand in guy mode), and, of course, her own fashion sense. You might find it amusing that in guy mode I never even liked to get dressed up at Halloween, and here is Tina constant dressed to the nines and enjoying it entirely. Oh, and Tina is incredibly fastideous...just neat as a pin...where my guy mode is considerably less obsessed with neatness! There have been times when I needed to do some very detailed (and boring) professional work at home, and my wife suggested that Tina was better suited for it! Sure enough, Tina polished it off in no time at all!

I hope you can see that the driving force here is to learn about a part of myself that I never understood, and that both my wife and I get to see who Tina is together! It's like opening my soul to my wife, except even I don't know what's in there! Scary, but fantastic! By giving life to Tina, we give life to me in ways we never could have anticipated.

It seems worthwhile! Is it easy? Heck no! It's a pain to live in both genders, but it's quite clear that my mind is split into both genders, so that, as they say, is that! It's better to know who I am and, frankly, the whole process is very satisfying. It has to be, else it would not be worth all the trouble!

[deebra]

I'll just comment on wearing the bra; to a degree no one else has. A right fitting bra is comfortable, I wear D forms and love the weight and movement when I walk. Seeing the way it projects the front of a sweater is oh so sexy and feminine. Wearing a bra just goes with wearing panties, if they match, oh so pretty. A shinny nylon bra with lace and filled is quite pleasing to the eye. I even like looking at the shoulder straps and band across the back. The bra is definately female and I like that. Just wish I could get away with wearing it out of the house but with my D's all eyes would be on me.

[JenniferR771]

Susiecue,
True enough--a bra is not always comfortable by the end of the day. What is so wonderful about crossdressing? Logically speaking--there is no reason for it to feel wonderful. Mysterious--but somehow we like women so much we want to be like them. It is not just the silky feeling, straps, and colors of the clothes. Otherwise, how do you explain makeup--or wigs? Or high heels? Do we love our mothers more than average? No, I think we are born as crossdressers. I don't know how. It just takes some of us longer to accept it.
I suspect it is the same percentage around the world. Across all cultures--maybe.
I suspect that it has been the same percentage for thousands of years. How would you prove that?

[LaurenB]

I agree with all the comments above. First and foremost it just feels so right. Secondly, I feel balanced when dressed. Lastly, crossdressing relaxes me like nothing else. I find that if I don't get to do it for more than say a week, I start to feel uneasy. I'll pick up a nail file in the car and begin shaping my nails. I also think it enhances my intuition in my regular guy life. This is something my wife taught me - to use my intuition. Other than feeling the gross societal shame for dressing, it adds so much positive to my life and personality.

[Staci G]

I agree with Karren, BECAUSE I CAN"T STOP!!!!!! I love every little thing about it from wigs to pumps.

[Krista1985]

This just my opinion. From someone who is driven to crossdress. Not chooses to. But I accept that and embrace it but there is nothing good... It overly complicates my life. My relationships. Its expensive as hell. Being caught between two genders really sucks.... I'd settle for staying in one or the other in a heartbeat.. Either! I'm not choosy! Lol. Yeah I love makeup and fashion but I do not have a choice. Its either embrace it and move forward or set here and wallow in misery for the rest of my life. Probably not what your going to here. But it is honestly the way I feel.

Every word truth. Like they said in the 'Shawshank Redemption,' "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

I could ignore the feelings and try to abstain from the activity, but that takes a lot of concentration and plenty of distractions. My mind naturally wanders to feminine thoughts if left to it's own devices. Effectively ignoring it means keeping more or less perpetually distracted, and that can be maddening. At the end of the day, there aren't enough games to play, books to read or shows to immerse myself in to keep CD'ing thoughts at bay. So ignoring it is more trouble than it's worth and isn't effective in the long term. That's from my own experience, but to each their own.

I do enjoy being both girl and guy, and I'm usually at home in either mode. As long as I make time for the female side regularly, popping into male mode when required is not an issue.