There has been much (heated) debate of late regarding the virtues of staying in the closet. This is not intended to rekindle that debate. Rater, I wanted to take a moment to share what taking this thing of ours on the road has meant to me.
Not counting a few Halloweens in college, I first went out in my early 20's. Why? Good question but curiously, it was never a question that I had to ask myself. I just did it, going out seemed like something that HAD to be done. I guess that in looking back, my attitude was the same as it is now. I simply needed a place to "be". Mercifully, I took zero pictures back in those days as I'm sure many of my outfit choices would give me serious pause today (as in I overdressed, something that many of us do in our early outings).
Where did I go? Malls here and there. Support groups were more prevalent back then as I went to PPOC, Born Free & Neutral Corner fairly regularly. I also happened into an upscale consignment shop, probably when I was approaching my late 20's. The owner was a young woman who happened to be about my age. She was a trained makeup artist and became a good friend. I became a very loyal customer and she taught me much about style. One year she even got a booth for the weekend at a TG convention in Burbank called California Dreaming which goes to show how she embraced our community.
During this time, I did not cultivate any other TG friendships. Good gosh, I couldn't dream of giving my home phone number to anyone in order to keep in contact. And it was right before I came to know the internet in terms of using something like email to keep in contact with others. So there is really no one from that time that I can remember as far as friends, let alone acquaintances.
But another thing happened as the late 90's got into full swing. My friend above packed up her shop and moved to Colorado. Sadly, despite having her number, I never kept in touch. Might have been that phone issue again. More importantly though, my first child was born and just as going out was not a conscious decision, I ended up not going out for several years thereafter. It's just something that happened.
Fast forward to sometime as the mid-2000's approached. I decided to get back out into this wonderful world of ours. I had learned of a TG boutique in LA called Countessa's Closet, a place which didn't horrify me like other TG boutiques had in the past. It was a classy place, as far as these places go. It became a place to hang out. I only bought a set of breast forms from that store and it happens that I never tried on a single article of clothing there. Her styles are as nice as they come when it comes to a TG boutique but I pretty much shop wherever I wish so her clothing never really spoke to me. But it was a safe place, albeit boring. Countessa and I would go out for a drink here and there after she closed up shop for the day but other than that, I still had yet to make any true friends in our community.
This changed in December of 2006 when out of the blue I decided to reconnect with one of my old support groups, Neutral Corner in San Diego. At this holiday event, I met Kim and her and I became fast friends. So bringing this long story to a close, I have met so many others from our community who I call dear friends, Erica, Suzanne, Roberta & Diane, and I'd be remiss to not mention Christine. Then there are others from NC and still more from DLV (including some wonderful people from these pages whose friendship I absolutely cherish despite having met only once). There are the handful of women who have become true friends as well. Most important of these people is Diana, one of my best friends out there. Finally, there are those from these pages who I have yet to meet but I would still call them true friends, knowing that it's only a matter of time until the stars align and we are able to get together in person (those who this applies to know exactly who they are
).
The moral of this whole thing is that my life has been enriched beyond my wildest imagination by simply making friends. Solo outings are few and far between as there is always someone to hit the town with. So if going out is a choice that is good for you, I encourage everyone to make the effort to seek out others in our community. Life is a blast when shared with others. Why should our TG existence be any different?
For all of my friends...
Originally Posted by Sue
!!!
You are so right. The trappings of femininity are fun, but they are secondary to the relationships that blossom in our lives once we start stepping out and sharing with our sisters. Our shared trials and tribulations as well as the rarely understood joys that accompany who we are become strong ties that foster wonderful bright relationships. Combine this with the intimate sharing that we are allowed to do in our feminine roles and viola you have lifetime friends. 
). Maybe we could even make a week a DLV happen!
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