Horrible Timing but a lot of Hope

[Danni Renee]

I am finally back in the U.S. (YEAH!). So after reading a lot of recent threads about telling parents about your cross dressing I decided I was finally going to do it. Well, not exactly - I told myself if the opportunity presents itself that I would take it.

So after coming back from my morning hike today my mother was sitting at the dining room table waiting for me so we could talk. The conversation at first focused on issues with my ex-wife and kids and my new duty assignment. As we talked the conversation drifted to my other issues.

My mother was telling me about some of her indiscretions in her youth and then she asked me if I was gay. Her best friend at work is a lesbian and she said it is ok that she will always love me. I told her no but that there were other issues. I have been home 4 days and asked her if she noticed I shaved everywhere now and she said she had and asked me if I liked it; I told her yes of course!

So I continued to keep the conversation going and I finally decide I am going to do it, I am going to tell her right now. I take a deep breath and the words are about to leave my mouth when I hear the front door open - it is my ex-wife walking in! Totally killed the moment. Both I and my mom had this look on our faces because she could tell she was not welcome at that moment but what was done was done.

Just so everyone knows, my mother and ex-wife have a good relationship and I encourage it. It was simply unexpected that she would come in at that very moment. My ex-wife does know about my dressing now, I told her about 2 weeks ago but I was not ready to discuss it with her and my mother ( I will share the email I sent to my ex at a later date).

I did get to go shopping with my mother later in the day. We were looking for me some drab shorts but she wanted to look at women's shoes too. I went through the shoe department with her and it was so much fun picking out shoes for her and telling her what type of women's shoes I thought looked good (wishing I were getting them for me)!

So the conversation is delayed again but I have a feeling (and a hope) that my mother will be waiting at the dining room table again tomorrow morning.

I also want to give a thank you to all those that have gone before and shared their stories. It is your courage that helps me continue to take these steps. I will give an update when I tell her.

Danielle

[Deana ♥ Danni]

I L♥VE Y♥U!! I know it will all work out in the end One bite of the elephant at a time Just say some prayers....

[ChanDelle]

Courage Danni. I wish my mom were alive to have that talk...

ChanDelle

[Iskandra]

Sounds like 'the talk' will happen Danni, and that your mum will accept..
I think she'd probably be happier to see you in femme way in the US, than harms way in the middle east!

Oh and shopping would have been such a great time and opportunity..
All the best with that one!

I had my mum staying with me for 10 days, she did some laundry while I was at work, including some femme items I missed when hiding everything..
The day after she left I discovered she'd bought me a femme size 14 (my femme size, not my SO's) long sleeve T.. I am still wondering if it was deliberate or just an oops on her part thinking it was a male T..

[Suzy Parker]

As a young boy, I used to wear my moms clothes as often as I could, often faking sick when of the age when not running a fever I would be left home alone while the parents worked. I know I never truly put things back in her drawers as I found them and I once got her dressy white gown all dirty, probably when I laid down on the carpet to look for heels under the bed, you see, the gown itself had been previously cleaned and was hanging in the closet in the plastic dry cleaning bag. I simply told her I was playing hide and seek and hid in her closet one day when a friend came over, don't think she bought that but never pushed it. I ruined at least two pairs of shoes that mysteriously dissappeared. I often think that she knew and maybe she talked to someone who told her I would simply outgrow it and to not confront me about it. I don't know but I loved that time when girdles were still popular and just starting to go away, she had several nice ones. I also liked that time as colorful spandex leotards were also very popular and she had four or five of those as well. Man oh Man, I almost got caught so many times it was unreal. I will never tell my parents, it's just better this way, I don't want the lecture once they know I know they know and cut into me about it. Sometimes things unsaid are the best things not talked about. I am curious if she knows though.

[adraine]

wow , good job , I'm envious that your relationship with your mom is as good as it is . I'm very fearful of what my parents and sbilings would do or say . I find it diffucult to express what I think would happan if Adraine came out of the closet to them, while my wife of almost 21 years and her side of the family have know for at least 20 years of Adraine existance and even go out with us to gay bars & restaurants . I'm sure my side of the family has noticed ie serious lack of body hair and over plucked eyebrows , red tinged fingernails and racoons eyes mid-day from mascara but they haven't said anything so I wonder side note lets hope they don't look in the gazette telegraphs photo blog of this past weekends PRIDE festival I'm MS Gay runner-up and was in the back of the truck in all my glory and traira Well good luck with that conversation with your mom Godspeed yours in spirt ADRAINE from Colorado Springs

[Shelly67]

She knows already .
Good luck !

[Meredy]

That was a wonderful read Danni!

It sounded like a very special time you had with your mother. I hope you two can finish the conversation.

[prettytoes]

Glad to see you are back in the US. She knows something is up. Mothers have a way of always knowing when you are hiding something. Good luck! I'm sure it will all work out for you.

[carolinewalker_2000]

As Shelley says, I'm sure your Mum knows already but you will both feel better when you have talked it through face to face. Good luck; I hope another opportunity occurs soon.

[Annie D]

Take a deep breath, relax, and make some coffee/something cool to drink and take your mom to the kitchen table and tell her. Like everyone has said, she knows something. Like our SO's, your mom asked the universal question, "Are you gay?" and unfortunately your ex interrupted before you could answer. Now that "inquiring minds want to know" it should be no problem telling her your secret. I wish that I could have told my mother before she passed away about my crossdressing; I think that she knew but until you say the words, you won't have peace of mind.

Welcome home!

[AKKaren]

[SIZE="4"]Wow!
It must be nice to have a Mom who will actually listen to you....
Good luck![/SIZE]

[Wendy_Marie]

She knows already .
Good luck !

They always know....Danni, first off I am happy for you that you are back in the States and secondly....as someone who recently came out to my immediate family I can honestly say that I now regret not doing so sooner.
It sounds as if your mother is already accepting, just going to be a matter of timing between the two of you...why not invite your mother out to lunch or dinner and use that as your oppurtunity to get the news out and in the open.
Good Luck.

[Danni Renee]

I DID IT! Everything went well and I am so relieved. I will post the details later but things are okay. I am so happy and relieved!

Danielle

[danielle40I]

Baby steps and an empathetic heart will provide you the courage you need.

[larry]

FAANTASTIC Your chat makes ME happy. hehe

[prettytoes]

That's great news! Glad everything went well for you.

[Carla]

That is great news!! I had the feeling it would go well. I bet you can't wait to get your bedroom back like you had it in Korea. Should be easy with your Mom's help.

And welcome home from Korea. So where is your new duty assignment? (Probably want to PM that info if you decide to answer) You often mentioned about your supportive girl friend in Korea. Is she being reassigned soon?

Take care and congratulations on a huge step. I see great looking makeovers courtesy of your Mom in your future.

[donnatracey]

Glad your talk with your mom went so well! I know that took a load off your shoulders. A big step that took some courage - you did good!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Danni, So glad for you that's wonderful.

Orchid

[Jill Devine]

Good for you! Nothing better than destroying secrets from family.

[michelle2020cd]

thanks for your service

[Danni Renee]

Ok – now for the follow-up! So I got up this morning and got my Mom’s newspaper and laid it out for her before she got up and I waited before going out to do my morning exercises until she got up. We started talking about the day and all and got that out of the way. Then she started asking probing questions again and I finally got the nerve up to tell her.

It was so hard to get the words out of my mouth but I told her. She was very accepting about it and told me she still loved me. We discussed how often I dressed and the fact that the last 5 days have been the longest without femme clothes in 7 months. She sympathized with my situation about still discovering myself and all and she was very supportive.

One of the interesting things was that she did not in fact know – it was a surprise. She knew I was having issues recently but did not know about my dressing. She did not know that I used to wear her and my sister’s clothes and that I skipped school in junior high and high school so I could dress. She did say that she thinks my brother-in-law is a crossdresser too because he wears my sisters clothing at times.

I do think I may have pushed it too far though. I asked her if she would like to see a picture of me and she said yes. She looked at it (I showed her the picture I use as my avatar) and she said I was pretty and thought I looked like my sister. But afterward she sort of changed topics.

We spent most of the day together shopping. Unfortunately it was not for me and everytime I sort of looked at girly things she appeared uncomfortable (but my eldest daughter was with us too and she does not know yet). She did talk to me about my shaving and techniques of hair removal after I dropped my daughter off which I really liked. I think it will progress but I have to take it at her pace.

Overall though, despite my nervousness and being utterly scared I finally did it and I am so relieved! My mother accepts me and still loves me and I think in time I will be able to do more and show her more (she said she will wash my panties and nightgowns if I wanted to start wearing them again – YES). It feels so good having that weight off my shoulders.

Tell Girlfriend (Complete)
Tell Ex-wife (Complete)
Tell Mother (Complete)
Tell Kids (NEXT UP!)

Danielle

[Staci G]

What a lucky girl you are!! Give Mom the biggest hug she ever had from all of us here that has already lost their mom or have moms thatwould never accept, You don't have to tell her why but you will know. I hope the kids are just as open to Danni as mom, I am sure they will be. xoxoxoxox to you and the family,

[boardpuppy]

Hi Danni,
i've keep track of your thread and am very pleased that you took the big step and talked with your mother. Mine was visiting a couple months ago and the oppertunity just didn't seem to be there. I am sorry for that and wish I could have changed it already. Mothers are great and it takes a awful lot to upset them. Thanks for the service you have provided to our country.