Nasty Words from the Ex that Shook My Confidence

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I have to agree with most of the comments here to the effect that she is just being nasty to you. Reine is right that it might not be jealousy, but the wording of the insult was effective at upsetting you. Your appearance is not just fine, it's great.

I'd seriously suggest that you re-enable your facebook account (most are only deactivated, not genuinely deleted), if you still have the PM, report the abuse to FB, then block her. She doesn't have the right to limit your social interactions.

The most common way that people find others "out of the blue" on facebook is by uploading the contact list from email, such as yahoo or hotmail, and if she's your ex, it could even have been because she had your email address from before you separated. If you want to cut down on any possible problems with people you don't want contact with, make sure that no email address that they might have is connected to your facebook account. If necessary, create a new account on google, yahoo or wherever, add that account to your facebook account, then delete the existing email address.

[pinto]

I can just repeat all the others comments: you are beautiful and i wish to look the same as you. unfortunately i don't. many many women would be proud to look that good as you do. keep on going, there is nothing to loose your confidence on!!!

[t-girlxsophie]

I feel a bit weird complimenting CDs on their looks,what I will say is you have a good heart,and your ex sounds very bitter and is lashing out at you.Don't let her get you down,I have a feeling what was said was just to make you doubt yourself,don't give her the satisfaction

Sophie

[Phylis Nicole Schuyler]

Amanda;
You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you differently. She saw how good you looked and the big green monster roared its head. Maybe it was the poster in the background that flagged her first. Once you know that something is familiar to where you've lived or been, you can place a name with face. You're better off without her. May the fleas of a thousand camels infect where she sits!! Thats my 2 cents.
Hugs;
Phylis

[wanagione]

Sweetie, take heart! You are gorgious! She is just jealous and angry and selfish, she even said don't you care about what others will think of her, not you but her. Go live your life without her and her opinions!

[tinachristina]

You are hot and no reason to get upset by her ramblings. People would be jealous if you are successful in real life. Do you pay any attention to them ? Don't do it here as well
Best wishes and love.
Tina

[Sophiewouldbenice]

@GirlieAmanda, thats awful - you look good! Much better than me By the way even my mother told me, that I would never look like a cute girl, as I told her about much crossdressing, even told me I had some kind of schizophrenic disorder, she telling me to stop it, complaining about everything more female looking I do, or my hair (fortunately doesn t hurt me, but I feel sorry for my mother). So refusal by people who have been close seems to be pretty normal for me , even if they love you, well your ex doesn't do this obviously.

[tinachristina]

This is a major pet peeve for me, so I'll speak up since so many have mentioned it in this thread: the GG feeling jealous.

I hate to burst bubbles, but it simply isn't true that when GGs are angry with CDers, it is because they are jealous. In fact, GG's tend to admire women who are beautiful, just like a guy might admire men who've worked out ... neither of these things give cause to behave spitefully against someone. The idea that a GG might be mean to another girl because she's pretty describes, maybe, the middle-school years. This does NOT describe adult GGs. Besides, by the time a woman is an adult, she is secure in her femininity, believe me.

But, maybe it makes a CDer feel good if she likes to thinks that GGs are jealous or CDers? I think comments saying how "jealous" GGs are, are rather petty and do not reflect well on those who say them.

I am sorry but this is not correct at all. I would like to burst a bigger bubble. GG are jealous not because they are riding in their feminity. They are jealous because they are . Why do we need to find a reason , as if the guy who was dressing was responsible for something that caused her outburst.
Let me give you this example . Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHV86hBdFT0. As you can see on the faces of women when they see a guy looking like Marylin Monroe looking far far beautiful than them.
It show on their face "How the..... this guy looks so beautiful and feminine". Feminity is not a property of women and we should not associate feminity to women in today's genderless( or free word). She was jealous because guy looked good or probably better than her. Accept it and stop assuming that they are comfortable in their feminity. No one can tell that. This is my pet peeve that feminity is associated with women. Nice gender stereotype.

[DonniDarkness]

AMANDA ATTENTION:

Friend, I have four sisters of varying ages, One Sister in law who has grown up around my household, and a big handful of girl cousins. I will tell you right now i have seen more jealousy (between/amongst/over each other) for some of the most obscure reasons known to man. I have broken up many fights between my sisters over this very subject. There will always be someone that will be jealous of that you have. Some may tell you straight to your face, some will keep it to themselves, and some will find a way to tear you down so that way they feel power over you. As in hurting you emotionally is their way of making themselves deny the fact that they are hurting themselves. You have to stop and think about where her anger towards you comes from....from the words that i read she is hurt because she feels that others who know you, will see that you are very pretty and it makes her question her own beauty....(im serious as a heart attack)

When i showed my cousin my first pic of me crossdressed, there was a long pause..the kind of pause that makes you wonder if you shouldnt crawl back into the closet...(im thinking....Great...) And she says finally...."You know it kinda sucks that im a girl and your prettier than me".....i was in shock.....not the answer i was expecting......i was mentally prepared for the whole "Burst of laughter followed by making fun of me at my expense"....But i got an answer that was reflecting on her opinion of herself....(get what i mean?) Although my cousin is truly a head turner, something in the pic made her compare her beauty to mine. Even over the fact that everyone that comes in contact with her can see she is very pretty. She was not hurtful towards me but there was a hint of jealousy about my crossdressing.

Something else that i think id like to share with you amanda. My wife taught me long ago that "being beautiful is not about what other people think its about how you perceive yourself". When i first heard it i thought she had fell off the Buddhists Bus....
years later i now know what she meant. You have to just KNOW you are beautiful and then others will recognize it appropriately.

Ru Paul said at the end of one of the drag race seasons: "You Shouldn't have to have anyone tell you are beautiful because you know you ARE beautiful" (wifey and i were watching it together...we just looked at each other and smiled)

Another one of my favorite quotes from him is this: "my goal is to always come from a place of love ...but sometimes you just have to break it down for a mother8888er" — Rupaul

Dont let what your hurtful ex says effect you in a demeaning way, find your confidence...Isnt that what are veteran Out and About members say? "Confidence is the best tool for passing"

Heres a silly quote i tell myself from time to time when im feeling "fugly"

"No matter who you are or what you look like...someone saw you today and said "Damn they are hot!!" -Henry Rollins-

If it were me in your shoes i would have took her words as a sign that im doing something right, so eff her and her BS

Being Beautiful,
-Donni-

PS here in the first few minutes (trust me it will make you laugh and feel better)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K443mMXckks

[Eve II]

You are way beyond passing - I think you could easily be full time!! Like others have stated-
she's a ex with a "axe to grind"

[kendra_gurl]

I hate to burst bubbles, but it simply isn't true that when GGs are angry with CDers, it is because they are jealous. In fact, GG's tend to admire women who are beautiful, just like a guy might admire men who've worked out ... neither of these things give cause to behave spitefully against someone. The idea that a GG might be mean to another girl because she's pretty describes, maybe, the middle-school years. This does NOT describe adult GGs. Besides, by the time a woman is an adult, she is secure in her femininity, believe me.

.

Reine: Have you not been watching this season of Big Brother? (CBS) Last night's eviction was the perfect example of female jealousy over another female. They all talked about it.

What you say may be true for GG's who think of themselves as attractive too. But so many women have such low self esteem that they do have feelings of jealousy of the Hair or the makeup or the figure of another woman or even more of a CD.

[Kerigirl2009]

I am not just trying to be nice, but all I see is girl in those pictures.
She just sees you as a man and has the ability to look through the outer shell, so your EX is just being viscious because she recgonizes you as how she remembers, and others might also, but to others like myself, that don't know you as a man, those pictures are all girl, IMHO.
You look great

[Lissa Stevens]

If I was out and saw you I would never suspect you were not a gg. The only reason you might catch me staring is my wishing I was as pretty as you are.

[GirlieAmanda]

OK. I have to take this opportunity to thank every poster here. Don't know how many will read this. You have helped me not only exorcise the demon that is my ex, but I actually feel BETTER than before the incident happened. So not only did you help me pick myself up and dust myself off, you have helped me get stronger. I did myself mostly but your genuine, honest help really made me think and feel so strong. I know many people dis this site for its self congratulating, smoke blowing, What Color are your panties, etc. postings, but I swear to God I feel this site is well worth my time. It has so many great people on it that have helped me change my life so much. OK I am getting a chill here. Wooo. Keep it together. When there is a unanimous decision like on this thread, with so many different people, with so many different lives, and so many opinions, how can that be wrong? I HAVE to believe it. I know that you would tell me the truth if I asked.

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I am most likely a transsexual woman. Woo! That feels good to admit. This is a new feeling...but actually an old one really. I have known forever. What a surprise, right? So your support now means more than ever. Its getting real for me. You know what naysayers, my panties are grey today..so nyahh! That is a fun thread morons. They don't get it. This thread is affecting my life. How much more important can you get? You can have fun...and you have seriousness. Thank You so very much to y'all and especially the site itself.

[lynn_lynn]

first off , your picture is amazingly beautiful..

back when I come home from Iraq, I figured since that final chapter was over in my life. It was time to be myself again.
Of course not without cleaning up the baggage of my past..
While I was in Iraq my ex took $4,700.00 spent it on crack cocaine.
When I returned I wanted nothing to do with her. If I had the option of using the sheriffs or Al Qaeda to get her out my home. I would of choose the later.

Leaving most my email account the same, the *pig* to put it so nicely sent me a message, "I Hope you and your bf enjoy the buttplug".. I mean really is that the only insult she has?. Being that I was in the Army, I was actually amused by this pitiful comment..

How does someone sink to a level of pigness like that when I was just overseas for close to 2 yrs. What did she think I was doing over there, building sand castles while in a bikini? As I said I was just amused by her comment. Basically there was no such thing as FB when I was discharged.

When I discovered FB I befriended her with a FB mafia name and bombed her FB with video, pictures of the pigsty beer cans, crack paraphernalia she left behind in my home. Disgusting vile thing she was, I cant imagine why I ever liked her to begin with. She has Halitosis, is overweight< crack dont seem to take the weight off either lol. Not very lady like in manners, and more a Butch type women if anything..

Probably the most embarrassing day of her life to have messed with me, and normally I dont retaliate cause I really dont care. But being that I was in Iraq and my brother, Who's birthday is today btw) was killed state side in a fleeing the police accident. He was a troubled kid. I was a little shattered that my family was dying faster than insurgents.

I dont believe many of her so called friends knew her at all, or the type of trash she really was... Til that very day I found her on FB and gave her what she deserved. She didnt see it coming because it had been a while..

But Revenge is a dish best served cold...

I couldnt have worn any her clothing anyways, she overweight and Im not into baggy jeans and generic van shoes.

[Eryn]

...I know many people dis this site for its self congratulating, smoke blowing, What Color are your panties, etc. postings, but I swear to God I feel this site is well worth my time. It has so many great people on it that have helped me change my life so much. ...You can have fun...and you have seriousness. Thank You so very much to y'all and especially the site itself.

You have it exactly right. There are some with an ax to grind who cite certain threads to prop up assertions that we and our discussions are superficial, but in any real community the varous conversations range from trivial to deadly serious. This site has been very helpful to me in understanding a bit more about myself.

[karinrochelle]

Amanda, you really do look great, Like a real GG, Ive had some women Ive dated except and support me in my x dressing most did not and I could only dream of coming close to how great you look!!!!!

[Ash Leland]

Believe me you're fine.

I'm sure you've come across a wide variety of reactions other people on this site have had from their ex's, but I think it's safe to say that when it's that hostile and that personal it has more to do with their inability to process this side of you rather than any real problem you might have with passing.

[Fab Karen]

Your ex was just being a super-bitch. You're girly and you look good ( and I don't tell anyone that if it isn't my personal TRUE opinion ). Want even further validation? Dress up pretty & stand on a street corner with a sign that says SINGLE. Expect the football-style team-tackle.

With FB, use an email for the account that doesn't even have 6 degrees of separation from people like your ex.

[Amanda Styles]

I have to agree, jealousy! She probably would not look as good in the same outfits.

[DaniJean]

I agree, she is jealous. You are a beautiful woman, realizing a dream of yours. She's running around with a married man hoping he leaves his wife, don't think too many people dream of being the "one on the side." She wants to bring you down to her misery and she knows, because of how long you were together, how to hit you where it hurts. Stay strong girl,you've done so much and accomplished so much. She's you're ex-, that means has been. Don't give her any control over anything. Hang in there and be strong, you're beautiful and amazing.

[Momarie]

Tinachristina said"
I am sorry but this is not correct at all. I would like to burst a bigger bubble. GG are jealous not because they are riding in their feminity. They are jealous because they are . Why do we need to find a reason , as if the guy who was dressing was responsible for something that caused her outburst.
Let me give you this example . Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHV86hBdFT0. As you can see on the faces of women when they see a guy looking like Marylin Monroe looking far far beautiful than them.
It show on their face "How the..... this guy looks so beautiful and feminine". Feminity is not a property of women and we should not associate feminity to women in today's genderless( or free word). She was jealous because guy looked good or probably better than her. Accept it and stop assuming that they are comfortable in their feminity. No one can tell that. This is my pet peeve that feminity is associated with women. Nice gender stereotype.


Where the heck do I start??????
Ya' egotistical ~ ya don't really know any better, so how about we start here.....ya silly ****.

1. Your source of us "jealous bitches" is a Phil Donahue show circa 1987??????????????
2. Are ya nuts???????

[tinachristina]

Tinachristina said"

Where the heck do I start??????
Ya' egotistical ~ ya don't really know any better, so how about we start here.....ya silly ****.

1. Your source of us "jealous bitches" is a Phil Donahue show circa 1987??????????????
2. Are ya nuts???????

1)People like you are reason why these stereotypes exist. Truth hurts isn't it. Last time a GG called me CHAUVINIST for standing up against a stereotype. Even my wife would not call me that ever.
2) Again another name calling. What is with you some women? Just can't take it can you.
3) I stand by my words no matter what words you use. It shows your character not mine. I just gave some example . Comment on the topic and not on the person.
4) take any example from 100 BC to 2040 AD, jealousy exists. Though it is the property of not only women. Even a man can get jealous. But to say that women have no jealousy is deluding themselves. I hope you come out of your stupor.
5) You want to fire expletives, you may go and do it , it does not matter to me because if needed I can do it many more times than you can, but I dont.

BTW I have reported you for using foul language. Hope moderators kick your comment out. )))

[Tamara Croft]

BTW I have reported you for using foul language. Hope moderators kick your comment out. )))

Can dish it but can't take it? Momarie hasn't used any foul language and she has a good point. Stop getting your knickers in a twist

[Shelby]

I agree with all the statements said on here. You might as well be a woman full time, cause that is all that I have seen in your pics and video. Granted some of us say kind things on here to someone just to be polite. That is why I refrain from commenting on some threads asking if they pass if I don't feel that they do. Itmay seem mean, but I was never good at lying and I certainly wouldn't want to find out the hard way if I pass in public which has happened once in awhile. You on the otherhand do pass and I am jealous of your looks. The difference between me and your ex is that I'm not pissed off with you or divorced from you. You keep looking beautiful and enjoy your life how you want to and to hell with her.