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Thread: When I was young.

  1. #1
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    When I was young.

    When I was young my parents would ask me what I wanted to do with my life and told me they would support me 100% if it was something I truly wanted. It was okay if I said I wanted to be a baseball player, scientist or even a used car salesman. I have a pretty good idea what kind of response I would have received if I'd told them I wanted to be a happy crossdresser. I understand why they would have been reluctant back in the early 1960's to offer that kind of support. It would have been a little out of their comfort zones, but wouldn't it have been great if they'd been open and supportive for that one? If nothing else, I'm thinking I'd probably be in better physical condition.

    Has anyone been in this situation either as a child or a parent? What happened?
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
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  2. #2
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    My parents? Supportive? Thanks, Sarah, for bringing a smile to my face and a chuckle to my lips.

    I have tried to learn from their example - by doing the exact opposite. So far, it has worked well. Still, I'm having a hard time lately. My oldest decided - afther three years of pre-med - that he wants to go and be an Army Ranger. You've seen how skinny I am, right? Well, his nickname growing up was Skeletor. I told him, "Look at me. Now look at you. It's called genetics. Are you sure you want to try for Ranger?" Sigh.

    Still, I'm trying to support him. I certainly support anyone who will serve their country in this day and age (and after 30 years in myself, I certainly should! ). Still, as a parent, it's hard.

    Would I support him if he said his fondest dream was to be a female exotic dancer? That might be a bit tough. Not to mention convincing his mother. Still, he is my son, and I love him and want the best for him. The hard part is allowing him to find out what it is, and not telling/guiding him to what I think it should be.

    Did I answer the question? I think I got lost somewhere.



    Kathi

  3. #3
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I didn't start CDing until AFTER my father passed. I often imagine him rolling over in his grave as I'm dressing!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  4. #4
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    I also started well after my parents were gone. My dad would have gone thru the roof, but in time would have become accepting. My mom would have accepted immediately.

  5. #5
    Member AnnaCalliope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathi Lake View Post
    Would I support him if he said his fondest dream was to be a female exotic dancer? That might be a bit tough. Not to mention convincing his mother. Still, he is my son, and I love him and want the best for him. The hard part is allowing him to find out what it is, and not telling/guiding him to what I think it should be.

    Did I answer the question? I think I got lost somewhere.



    Kathi
    I know when I was younger, that's what I wanted to be. Had I the opportunity to start HRT while still in my teens, I may have had a better chance at achieving my dreams of pole dancing stardom.

  6. #6
    Gold Member erickka's Avatar
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    I try not to repeat patterns of my parents, and it has done well so far.( I had no support for ANYTHING at ANY TIME) The only thing is that I found out about a year before my dad passed, that he was a C/D and had only been so for about 4 years. I'm not repeating patterns here, since I started at about 5 or 6 years of age.

  7. #7
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi ,

    I was surported by my Mum.only , tho my grand parants were with us for some 6 years. i was my self quite happy with my lot tho i had struggles as a person . nothing to do with being intersex. i was brought up as a kid not pushed in to a male or female role i was happy doing any thing it was not a boys do this girls do that. i just helped i expressed my self not as male or female because i did not see the difference *& i thought every one was like my self tho i did see some differences tho wondered why . as i had nothing to work on or any understanding i did not know so just left it there, & was not to bothered.

    As i got older . i was thinking as both male & female & i thought that was normal. so did not worry about it then ether ,
    i saw girls as sisters, & tryed to treat them as such,

    Girl friends failed at that , tho i was closer to them mind wise. oh well was not time to grow, till a lot later on
    .
    In our day we keeped our mouths shut . tho at age 10 -11 .1949 .we had two men liveing next to us i knew then some thing about them & was told later on they were two gay men . i knew that because something triggered in my brain they were tho i did not know the words i just knew . Mum told me.after.

    & we had a brothel up the street, oh yea , the our term the yanks were in town the ships were in port sat - sun . so we knew things even then.

    I had a lot of other issue's as a person so did not learn much or know much . was i happy most of my life i was , & now with our grand kids . if there are any signs of difference's hopefully ill be there for them . they all know me as a woman so no issues there . will be interesting tho as they get older 9 grandkids under 13 years of age.

    A bit more about my self ,

    ...noeleena...
    Last edited by noeleena; 08-02-2011 at 06:24 AM.

  8. #8
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I wouldn't be alive today if I told my dad I wanted to be a girl in the 60's! I do beleive it was in the 60's when I read about Renaee Richarderson who was the first publisized sex change! So I knew it was possible then! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  9. #9
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    My mom, sister and aunt were all aware of my cross dressing. I learned that my aunt knew when she asked me if I'd like to order some pantyhose! They kept the information to themselves, because my dad and brothers would not have been as understanding!

  10. #10
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Interesting how times change. I think a child with such dreams would stand such a better chance with disclosure now than any other time in the past. But some things never change, that most children will still choose to stay silent rather than risk disclosure.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  11. #11
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    When I was caught dreesing in the mid 50s at 12 or so I received a lecture on sex. Parents didn't understand to say the least. In that time frame no one did.

    Ten years later I informed my mother that I was still CDing she thought that I should be committed for shock treatment or somthing. It took years, but she finaly accepted it. Even offered to buy me a woman's jacket once.

    We've come a long ways from then. Back in the 50/60s you would have been arrested if caught. I'm sure parent's don't want their children to be gay or CDs. I wouldn't simply because of the complications brought on with it. Accepting yes!

  12. #12
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    I was in 8th grade, about 12 years old, when my mother and step-dad discovered I was crossdressing. The problem, as they saw it, was too much unsupervised free time, so when summer vacation rolled around I was sent off to spend the summer with my Dad. I got a room in the basement with a closet that had a blue dress that was just my size. I hated going home at the end of the summer, knowing I'd have to leave that dress there. I guess Mom was just too embarrassed to even mention why I had been sent up for the visit. My Dad would have cleaned my clock.

    As a grandpa now, I hear my grandkids talk about their parents friends and some are GLBT. I do my very best to let them know that there are a lot of things about people and how they behave in relationships that are so much more important than their sexual orientation or gender identity. Hopefully it will take root.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  13. #13
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    When I was younger my mom allowed me to dress but then one day everything was gone. I guess she tossed it all

  14. #14
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    I was never given a chance to do much on my own. If my parents knew I was into my mothers lingerie they never said anything. But they didn't seem to let me be alone much either. Back then I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Career wise I am still looking. But I do know whatever I do I want to do it as a woman. I am having fun growing into one. And feel more peaceful too.
    Diane Elizabeth

  15. #15
    Want to Dream? susiej's Avatar
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    I grew up in the 50's and 60's, and while I loved my parents dearly, I have to say that my cross-dressing totally baffled them. I wasn't flamboyant or anything -- the only way they ever found out about it was little random laxes in my vigilance. Not only were we, the children, clueless about sex and gender, but everyone was. If I had been born 50 years later, I would be a 24x7 girl right now, no question. But, that wasn't an option, even 30 years ago.

  16. #16
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    My parents were always unified regarding any issue while rearing their three kids. If they didn't agree, they hashed it out in private, never allowing their kids to pit one against the other. My dad would never have been supportive of my crossdressing (very religiously-based straight-laced), so I kept it a secret from him. My mom would have supported his position (submissive wife). But if it were up to just my mom, I think she would have been initially concerned (for my well-being), but eventually supportive (for my happiness).

  17. #17
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    I just thought of another parental option now-a-days that wasn't available when I was young, counseling. Limited psychological counseling became part of employee benefits packages or was made available as a community resource well after I was out of the house. I imagine that if it had been an option at the time my mother would have sent me to a shrink. Who knows what it would have been like back in the 60's? Would they have treated me or the family? Dumped me into some kind of aversion therapy or told me to get used to it because it wasn't going to go away? I may have dodged a bullet with that one, but I just don't know enough about the state of counseling back in the day?
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  18. #18
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Sarah, I think counseling, back in the day, would have been "cure this kid - he wants to dress like a girl, and that's not right".

  19. #19
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    Heck, my parents went crazy on me when they discovered I masturbated as a teenager! Cross-dress? They would have beat the crap out of me. The last time I ever told anybody what I wanted to do in life???? I told the sergeant at the army induction center I wanted to be a foreign service officer. I ended up in Nam humping an M-16. Last time I ever told anybody I wanted to be anything.

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