So, how do you know?

[Gillian Gigs]

So, how do you really know if you are just a crossdresser, or if there is a transgender mindset within you? I have taken those pop quizes that you see in various places on the internet. For the most part they can change in there precentages depending on my mood. One day they could be 60-40 female and the very next day 60-40 the other. Of all of the quizes I have never gone above 70-30 female, but I have done mostly 60 to the male side, and not above it. I do know that as I have gotten older the feelings have gotten stronger, and the desire to dress is more often, and regular. I said to some one that I do not know how a woman thinks because I have never been inside a woman's head, but I may have never been in a man's head either. All I know is that I think very differently than most people, male, or female. The way I think and communicate has gotten me into a fine mess more than once in my life. So, how much is the testosterone that is flowing within me, influencing me and how I think? If the testosterone was removed, how much would my thinking change? How can someone find out without doing any permanent changes?

Others must have had the same thoughts that I am currently having. What have you done to get a true determination as to your gender thinking. I just want to deal with this mess that is going on in my head, and get a real picture of who I really am. After many years I have come to accept the fact that I am a CD'er, now I am asking myself if there is really something more than that.

[kimdl93]

In my view, you have a transgender mind set if you cross dress. That doesn't mean you're a transexual yearning to go through transformation surgery but it does suggest that you have some feminine personality traits that are being expressed through dress. There are such a spectrum of transgender behaviors that its difficult to categorize or pin down where you may be in that spectrum.

I, for one, doubt the accuracy of those popular, on line tests. If you're serious about answering the question, I'd suggest a couple of things. First, counseling. Also, I really do believe that life is a journey of discovery. You won't necessarily be the same person, in terms of gender identification, at age 20, 40 or 60. That being said, I do think cross dressing is part of the progression towards more fully identifying as female. Over time, it seems many of us, myself included, are becoming more feminine and less masculine. And that's just all right with me

[DeniseNJ]

I think society is a determining factor as to why we do not do and act how we truely feel. I know as I get older I have been having the desire more to be feminine. Do I wish I was born a girl (YES) do I desire to dress as I want no matter what society says (SURE) am I scared YEP !! I don't act sissy in my day to day behaviors But I know deep down inside I would feel better as a woman than a man I can embrace being a woman and I am sure most Cd's envy some women in life. I can't speak for all but Just look at the tranformation....Alot of Cd I see that dress completely female sure look better than their MALE self and they look younger too, so is it not normal to want to feel this way!!!

[Badtranny]

Hi Gilly,

I may be going against the current here (shocker) but I don't agree that crossdressing is a natural progression to transsexualism. I know a few TS girls personally and most of them including myself were not really into crossdressing. I think I was a CDr for about a year until my therapist set me straight.

Which brings me back to your question of "how do you know?" Those goofy Internet quizzes are a waste of time. If you are really confused like I was, than a therapist is the only way to sort it out.

[kimdl93]

I'd have to concur with Melissa to the extent that CDing isn't necessarily part of a progression towards transexualism, but I'd submit that if a person cross dresses that is an indication of transgender"ism". We can get bogged down in definitions here, of course. I see transexualism as a specific part of the transgender spectrum.

[sometimes_miss]

Back in my teens, I thought I was TS but there were a few inconsistancies that kept me confused about it. It wasn't until much later that I discovered the differences in the way males and females perceive the world, how we interact with it, and how we communicate. While there's way too much to get into in one post, you can get the general drift by reading a few books by, say, Barbara and Allan Pease (just go to one of the big book sites like Barnes & Noble or Amazon or something) or if you're financially strapped, you can hunt down torrents for pdf scans of their stuff (I usually buy books because they're easier to read than the pdf's on my tiny phone screen). Leil Lowndes books on dating are also good, but if you want just look into their bibliographies to find the more scientific studies done.
I tend to prefer behaving and dressing like a girl, but I don't think like one, and I don't communicate like one. I can't multitask as easily as a woman does (you can learn to do it, but for guys it simply doesn't come as naturally). Same with how we view things and people; women are relationship oriented, men are task oriented.
Then when you add the sexual attraction thing, where I find males repulsive and never really feel comfortable or trust them, and that was the clincher. I'm not TS. I feel like I should be, but I'm not.
If you want more info, read my bio and/or pm me.

[Katesback]

I believe a surprising number of people that identify as CD are really TS but are for 1000 reasons not preparred to take the steps to become who they are. I have seen it countless times and often it is sad but hey nothing spectacular comes without a lot of hard work and risk.

[NyssaF]

I think the easy way to determine the answer to your question is to ask yourself directly and honestly: "Do I like being a man?" If so, then you know that trans-sexuality isn't in your nature. If you don't like being a man, then you will want to start exploring your feelings more.

I personally love being a man. I like my penis! I like cheering for football and other sporting events. [grin] However, I also love to feel feminine a lot of the time. I love to dress in pretty clothes and allow the feminine side of me to come out and be assuaged. Feminine is wonderful.

But I would never give up being a man.

[juno]

First, transgender includes all people whose gender identity does not match their genetic gender, whether that mismatch is partial or complete. Crossdressing and transsexualism are both part of the transgender class.

Like most things, there is no obvious cutoff between crossdresser and transsexual. The basic difference is the degree with which you feel that your internal gender identity is opposite from your genetic gender. You also have to consider how much of the male part of your identity is really you versus upbringing and trying to fit in to society. That is why many of of become more female with time. It takes time to unlearn your conformance training and discover your true self.

[SuzanneBender]

Silly its easy to tell. You just need to look at the back of your elbow. If you are a crossdresser there is a little light blue spot there. If you are a transsexual there is a pink spot there. And no cheating by looking in the mirror because you cant see it in your reflection.

Welcome to the question that many of us wrestle with. Your post hits on several issues. First those test are full of poo-caca-$&#*. There are by no means normed psychological batteries. They are not even D Cells. Its easy to skew the score to the answer that you either consciously or sub consciously desire. Don't trust them.

Second. Hormones will make a difference. They are powerful things. Of course if you reduce the testosterone in your system and increase the estrogen you are going to think and feel more femme. How much of what hormone it takes is not a sound way of measuring which lane you should be in on the Transgender highway.

It took me a long time to figure all of this out. Therapy is a great place to start, but ultimately the answer is in your heart. Life is about priorities. Ultimately it is only you that knows where this lines up with yours.

[Marie-Elise]

For myself, I know I don;t want to be a woman. I just want to dress like one sometimes. I like my man junk and the "manly" stuff I do. I just have a feminine side that needs to be expressed once in a while.

[kimdl93]

Silly its easy to tell. You just need to look at the back of your elbow. If you are a crossdresser there is a little light blue spot there. If you are a transsexual there is a pink spot there....

...Therapy is a great place to start, but ultimately the answer is in your heart. Life is about priorities. Ultimately it is only you that knows where this lines up with yours.

I found a mauve spot...what the heck?!? Therapy just help you gain a little better understanding of yourself and what you value. Early in couseling, my psychologist asked whyI thought I was there. My flippant response was "To make me feel happy". She corrected me immediately saying its not to make you happy, but to help you accept reality. Interesting point. Gender issues were part of the reality I hadn't been fully accepting.

[Samantha43]

I figured out a long time ago that I am 100% male and like it that way. That has not changed over the 35 years I have crossdressed. I guess I am blessed that I don't have any confusing feelings. I just have an unusual and interesting hobby!

[GaleWarning]

By reading widely on this and other similar forums, I quickly came to the conclusion that I do not want to be a woman or feel like a woman or even try to emulate any female.
I am extremely tactile and I simply enjoy the feel of wearing women's clothes.
Which makes me an uncomplicated, down to earth, sane crossdresser.
For which I am eternally grateful.

[VioletJourney]

I know that I am not a woman. But I also know that my sex and even gender don't have to dictate how I dress or act or what I do.

[TexasCD810]

Exactly. I enjoy crossdessing and have so for 30 years.

[Amanda Styles]

I still do not know where I stand.
Gender dysphoria is a certainty. I do enjoy crossdressing for more than one reason.
There is a sexual component at times, especially if there is a GG/SO to share it with, but I think there is a certain similar component in GG/FAB, but I do just enjoy and feel better when at least underdressed.
I have taken the COGIATI test, and have attained different results.
More than likely, if I had been born 20-30 years later than I was, I would have considered gender reassignment surgery.
I have a strong male side, and have performed many high risk jobs, (high steel, rescue diver, paramedic etc), rode motorcycles, raced cars, and jumped out of perfectly good airplanes.
Perhaps that is overcompensation for having my other side.
I wish I knew if i was CD/TS/TG but it really does not matter, labels are meaningless.



"To thine own self be true"