Need ideas of shopping discreetly

[Radina]

Things were generally easy in terms of shopping for girl clothes, that is when my local Walmart decided to ditch the ever-so-useful self checkout lanes!! I've grown so used to this now I am plain angry. I went to my local Target and of course, they don't have self checkout either.

I am left with browsing the women's shoes and clothes aisle with the anxiety of potentially being embarrassed up front if a let a real person ring up my girlie goods. This is on top of being nervous around single moms and senior ladies that have nothing to do during the day then stare and wonder why a guy is looking at the women's panties aisle.

This has to stop! How can I get freedom from this? The obvious alternative would be online, but, many problems with online. The biggest being in my household packages are always opened up - doesn't matter who it's addressed to. I've told my parents/siblings to not do this but they continue to do it anyway. Another thing is online i can't tryout some things or just eyeball if they'll fit or not.

[kimdl93]

If the common expereince is any indication, most of the folks at Wally world or elsewhere are focused on their own lives and little concerned about what anyone else may be doing and why. And if my recent expereinces shopping en feem is any indication, people take it in stride. I've been to several department stores, talked with a dozen or more SAs, chatted with a few women shoppers and made eye contact (show no fear with dozens more. You know what - they either don't care and ignore me, or they smile and go about thier business.

This afternoon, I picked up my wife's dry cleaning - fully en femme - from the local Vietnamese cleaner. The lady has seen me en drab many times, but this was the first time dressed. She had a big warm smile from the moment I entered the store. She didn't really comment on my appearance but she also didn't seem the least bit bothered by it. The three ladies picking up clothes while I was there were friendly as well and we chatted about the infernal heat while we waited for our garments. Long way of saying, most people either won't care or they may be genuinely interested and curious.

[TGMarla]

I use Ebay. It's perfect for what I'm after, and meets most of my needs anonymously and without embarrassment.

[Radina]

Thank you Nordic princess. Maybe I should be a bit more courageous and not fear pre-judgement. I'll have to make up some jokes or something if someone comments on my shopping.

I remember once in walmart I wanted to try a pair of cute slingback platforms and I took them and put them in the box. I then just grabbed some random guy clothes to mask the fact that I'm going in the dressing room just to try to shoes. The old lady then asks for the box..and opens it. (I'm like "crap!" at this moment) .. and I noticed how she subtly changed her look and demeanor toward me and she started feeling embarrassed her self and asked me to confirm if I'm going to try those or not. I proceeded to say a confident yes, keeping my cool, and I was able to go in the room and try them on. God, this shouldn't be so stressful!!

[RADER]

Radina;
I shop in drab all the time; Just carry in a small scrap of paper with some sizes on it.
If a SA asks you "can I help you" say yes, I am looking for______in a size ???
It works every time, and they think you are very special to shop for your "Mate" like that,
Since most men would not.
Rader

[Radina]

Radina;
I shop in drab all the time; Just carry in a small scrap of paper with some sizes on it.
If a SA asks you "can I help you" say yes, I am looking for______in a size ???
It works every time, and they think you are very special to shop for your "Mate" like that,
Since most men would not.
Rader

sorry i'm a bit new here what is drab?

[RADER]

Shopping in your "DRAB" mens clothes
Rader

[Marcia Blue]

[SIZE="3"] I always thought DRAB was DRessed as A Boy. I also agree, that most people could care less, what you are purchasing. Just go out, shop and have fun. [/SIZE]

[VioletJourney]

Go to a mall that nobody you know goes to. And the most important thing to remember when shopping in person is to relax and try not to be nervous. People basically react how your body language tells them to react.

[juno]

NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU BUY! I go to the store all the time as a male, buying tampons, panties, a breast-milk pump, etc. You have to realize that buying female items does not automatically mean they are for you. If you buy panties, people will assume that it is for your girlfriend whom you want to see wear them.

If you really want to see a cashier freak out, buy condoms, lubricant, and a very large cucumber.

[mercterr]

I try to shop a ways away from my local stomping grounds so I don't meet a neighbor in line (which may eventually embarrass my wife or son) but beyond that, I just buy what I want. Just act like all is O.K. and buy your stuff. The clerk doesn't care, the people behind you don't care. Nobody but you is really thinking too hard about who you are buying the stuff for. The only time I'm pretty sure the clerk knew was when I bought a pair of size 12 heels. She was very nice to me during the transaction and no police were called It gets easier each time.

[Janet Bern]

I think you should get over the idea that people care what you wear.
Just a NJ update.
Yesterday I was endrab and went to Macys intimate apparel shop at Quakerbridge Mall outside of princeton and was looking at bras . The sales woman was really nice and I asked if I could try 2 of them on. Macys has a policy of not letting men into the womans fitting rooms. She took me around the corner with the bras and put me in a mens fitting area. I found out why they dont let men in the womans area is because the rooms are only neck to knee rooms. She was so nice though.
Next I went to Lord and Taylor.. the SA was great and we picked out a couple of bras that I tried on and ended up purchasing one.
Today I stopped at Dress Barn on Route 130 and Route 133. The SA asked if she could help and I pointed out a dress I liked and held it up. She commented how nice it was and I asked if I could try it on. "Oh Sure " she said and when I had it on she asked if she could get another size. I said yes and she did. What a great experience. I was 20 miles from home and really didnt care who saw me and most of the women never batted an eye. We really are accepted.

[Eryn]

I've found that the more I shop the less I worry. I used to have elaborate scenarios made up just in case the Gender Police descended upon me. Of course, I never needed them. Salespeople are there to sell, and GGs are preoccupied with finding that perfect item for themselves.

I still have a few hangups. I prefer self-serve shoes and dressing rooms and avoid stores where the staff hovers over you. I really can't afford that level of service anyway!

[Michaela42]

It takes some time to get used to the idea that not everyone is observing your every move or action. It is all part of the fear and indecision we all feel. If it really is bothering you just take your time and start slowly. Visit the stores during slow times when there are less people around (but do not wait until it is five minutes until closing, that is rude and WILL draw unwanted attention). And before too long you will realized that what everyone else above was saying is true: people will either not notice or not care. Now get out there and shop away!

[Radina]

thank you all for the helpful input! :-*

[joanna marie]

Its true, no one cares what you buy or who you buy it for.
As far as trying things on in Drab ,use stores that have open dressing rooms
I just take things into the mens changing room and try them on, this includes dresses,
no one will stop you or say anything.

For shoes,payless is great, I wear pantyhose under my pants and just slip off my shoes and try them on
The only coment I ever got while paying was "those are cute shoes " in which I said ,"yes they are"

Just do it,
why do you care what someone you don't know and will never see again thinks about you.

[prettytoes]

I do not need to worry so much about packages. My wife knows and my kids are both out of the house (empty nest is great!). I have been buying women's panties since long before E-bay. I used to tell my wife (before she discovered my crossdressing) that they were more comfortable and cheaper than men's underwear. I tried to get styles and colors that were not super feminine, even though I longed to have the pink satin panties! I always figured at least they are women's, and my wife never thought anything of it.
I would (and still do) wait until the intimate section was fairly unoccupied, and then go in and grab what I wanted. I just took it to the cashier and paid for it. I never had any questions or comments from the SA. One time a young girl in line behind me commented on a nightie I was buying. She said "That will look good on you" in a joking kind of way. I replied "I think it goes nice with my brown eyes", and laughed. She smiled and laughed with me, not at me. I buy a lot on E-bay, because of the bargains...I just got a new Nautica bikini for $6.00 including shipping. Retail was $45. I buy all my panties, panty hose, bras, etc. locally and have never had a problem. You are surely not the first man to buy women's garments, whether for yourself or a gift.
You can also get a cheap birthday or anniversary card to make it appear as a gift, or do your shopping around the holidays. When I go to buy shoes (not often), I teel the SA I am doing the "walk a mile in her shoes" benefit walk, or I shop in October and tell them I am dressing as a woman for Halloween.
I hope some of these tricks help, but it will get easier when you realize that no one cares what you are buying. Have fun with it!

[Starr]

I normally shop in areas where people don't really know me so I don't worry about being seen buying anything. How many men do you think by things for their wives or girl friends? The people doing the checkout could care less what you are buying at wal mart or kmart. They are there doing their job, checking out your purchases. How many weid things do you think they see in a day that people buy for whatever reason.

If it helps get it in mind you ar buying them for a girlfriend or wife and just do it. I have bought things at womens apparel stores in my size. The girls checking me out knew they were for me but they made know big deal about it, one ask if they were fro my girlfriend and the other smiled at her and said no they are for him, thanked me and told me to come back... When she said that I just smiled and shook my head yes...

[Tara D. Rose]

NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU BUY! I go to the store all the time as a male, buying tampons, panties, a breast-milk pump, etc. You have to realize that buying female items does not automatically mean they are for you. If you buy panties, people will assume that it is for your girlfriend whom you want to see wear them.

If you really want to see a cashier freak out, buy condoms, lubricant, and a very large cucumber.

OMG I never thought that buying anything that could be more embarassing that the example you gave here. That is funny.

I do have the same phobia as the op here. It just scares me so. But if a cahier does figure you out at the register, you only have to be embarrassed for just a few minutes and the next time you go in there, the same cahier probably won't be working there then. Well about acmonth ago my wife and I were at Wal-Mart shopping for groceries. I went to the car to get something. On my way back through the store trying to find her, I couldn't help but take a stroll through the panties(my favorite) section. Well I stopped and was looking at this slinky lacy pair that I just wanted so badly but I didn't want to walk through the store with them in my hands so I put them back on the rack turned and took two steps and BAM, ran right into my bossman. he said hi I said hi. We talked for a while and moved on. Had I waited 30 seconds longer he would have caught me holding up the pair. I would never have heard the end of it at work.

[TexasCD810]

I can go into any Wal-Mart and buy what I want and just go through the self service lane. My favorite online is SNAZ 75.com

[TexasCD810]

I agree, I use to work for an intimate apparel company and was known as the bra man while working my retail outlets. Nobody cares or even notices.

[juno]

I can go into any Wal-Mart and buy what I want and just go through the self service lane. My favorite online is SNAZ 75.com

YES, but the OP is about what to do when the self-service lane closes, which her Wal-Mart is doing. The answer is that the less discreet you are, the less anyone cares. If you act nervous and sneaky when buying panties dressed as a man, people are far more likely to think you are buying for yourself. If you throw them on the counter like any other random store item, they assume it is for a spouse/GF/sister/etc.

[TexasCD810]

I have a UPS mail box and for $200 a year I get all my packages shipped directly.

[whowhatwhen]

The biggest being in my household packages are always opened up - doesn't matter who it's addressed to. I've told my parents/siblings to not do this but they continue to do it anyway.

This is my biggest fear.
They might not open it but I sure would get the 3rd degree, I simply have to grow some metaphorical balls and buy stuff in-store.

The odd thing is I've overcome the "omg everyone will know" fear before, I bought an (item *nudge nudge*) and nothing bad happened.
The cashier even ribbed me a bit on my nervousness "ohh it wasn't that bad!".

What I personally plan to do is take the "yeah, this is for me" approach.
Even though we all know that no one else cares, it's still a large mental barrier.

Remember, I'm pulling for you, we're all in this together!

[Amanda Styles]

I actually don't care about a self checkout lane. I buy what I want and take it through a line with a female at the register.
None have ever said a word about my purchases, although one did give me a little knowing grin, which was not bad.