difference between sex and love

[Briana90802]

All my life I've known that there's a difference between "sex" and "love". And as guy I find it very easy to separate the two. I think that most guys have the ability to do one without the other. That is to say have sex but not be in love. Love is love and sex is sex. Women, in general, have the tendency to lump these two things together. They associate sex and love as being the same. Or you can't have one without the other. This is why it's easier for men to cheat. Men think sex is just sex, where as women think you must love her to have sex with her.

Now I've read alot of threads about casual sex encounter with CDer being with a another guy or girl on this board. So my question becomes this: because we (cd and TG) are more in touch with our feminine side(feelings and what not) do you find it harder to separate sex from love? Or when encountered with a sexual situation do you find your male side kinda take over? What are your thoughts and feelings?

[Longing2be-Trisha]

I have always had a problem separating the two.

[Jamie Nicole]

i've always had problems with the two as well....which is which

[NicoleScott]

I think your premise is faulty. Make that premises.

- men separate love and sex, women don't.
- it's easier for men to cheat. (who do they cheat with? Women who don't cheat?)
- cd's more in touch with feminine side, therefore harder to separate love and sex.

We sure love to use the "painting with a broad brush" expression, but that's what this is.

People cheat. Or they don't. I've never seen any evidence that cd-ing has any influence on inclination to cheat.

[TxKimberly]

I have in fact always had a major problem with that. When I was oh so much younger and in the Army, several of my friends tried to help me take care of my little virginity problem with a prostitute - I couldn't do it. It wasn't a morals or religious thing, I just couldn't do it with some girl I'd never seen before and who cared nothing for me nor I for her.

I'm just short of 46 years old and I've only made love to one person - my wife of 23 years. So yes, I've always had a problem separating sex from love and I'm reasonably happy that way.

[TGMarla]

Well, I've been married for 17 years, and I love my wife. Since she's the only person I have sex with (besides myself), I no longer have to worry about separating the two.

[bridget thronton]

I cannot separate sex and love. I cannot conceive of my cheating on my spouse either.

[Stephenie S]

So here's my broad brush.

I have met very few guys who wouldn't drop their pants in a New York minute if they thought they could get away with it. That's a pretty definite distinction between love and sex.

Jes' Sayin'

Stephie

[docrobbysherry]

I've always had a problem having sex with women I didn't love, didn't know well, or didn't at least, like!

As men r want to do, when I was young I had sex with a number of women I never saw again. The BEST sex with them was NEVER as enjoyable as the WORST sex I've had with any of the women I've cared about! Not a long list. Maybe 12 or so?

When in my middle 30's, I decided to stop having sex with women just because they wanted to or would let me. ALL the sex with women I've been with since then has been enjoyable!

Since there's so many marrieds here, I should add I was married in my 40's, divorced in my 50's. Only been with a few women since then. Now in my 60's!

[Barbara Dugan]

I am learning to understand both, I've never had sex with a woman or was attracted to any woman in particular some guys caught my attention but not enough to have a sexual experience , I guess it was more of a form of love..It was only after I started dressing that I could liberate myself sexually and emotionally...Now I feel capable of falling in love with a guy and the sex is a bonus too.

[sissystephanie]

I am in my very late 70's!! As most of you know, I was married for almost 50 years to a very dear lady before cancer took her. She was the only person that I ever had sex with, and that did not occur until after we were married. I think I do know the difference between love and sex very well!! I believe that I am very much like TxKimberly, although old enough to be his/her father!!

[Steph.TS]

I understand love, and I understand sex, I cannot have sex without love, but I can love without sex.

[Adriennegrl]

I'm one that also could never separate the two. Casual sex never worked for me like some of my friends. I get too emotionally attached. Maybe this is because my fem side is stronger. While I do know some women that can do casual, the men I know are far more.

[VioletJourney]

I think your premise is faulty. Make that premises.

- men separate love and sex, women don't.
- it's easier for men to cheat. (who do they cheat with? Women who don't cheat?)
- cd's more in touch with feminine side, therefore harder to separate love and sex.

We sure love to use the "painting with a broad brush" expression, but that's what this is.

People cheat. Or they don't. I've never seen any evidence that cd-ing has any influence on inclination to cheat.

I agree with this. Your concept is based on stereotypes.

Personally, I separate sex and love. I think it's silly to think one person can satisfy all the needs of another and I feel that an open relationship, if done right, can strengthen the emotional bonds you have together.

[Briana90802]

I think your premise is faulty. Make that premises.

- men separate love and sex, women don't.
- it's easier for men to cheat. (who do they cheat with? Women who don't cheat?)

When I was in school there was a statistic that like 60% of guys and only 20% of girls were sexually active. Which means that the 20% of girls were working overtime!

- cd's more in touch with feminine side, therefore harder to separate love and sex.

We sure love to use the "painting with a broad brush" expression, but that's what this is.

People cheat. Or they don't. I've never seen any evidence that cd-ing has any influence on inclination to cheat.

I think that's what I'm asking. I'm trying to figure out if the cding(being more in touch with the feminine sides, meaning emotionally, of ourselves) has any bearing on whether we can separate sex and love. Of course there are always exception, and I, by no means, am trying to broadly categorize people. However, I find it hard to believe that a group of people(specifically CDers) so in touch with both their male and female sides of emotion would so easily be able to separate the sex and love.

[LilSissyStevie]

Before I got married, I had sex with a LOT of girls. I loved them all but I had ADD. I've been married twice and had a LTR in between and never was inclined to cheat. I can't say as much for my first wife or my LTR. I was always attracted to oversexed bad girls so that's the chance you take. It's difficult for someone like me to find anyone that is sexually compatible. Finding someone to love is easier. When you find both, it's bliss.

[kellycan27]

love doesn't wash off

[Debb]

I understand love, and I understand sex, I cannot have sex without love, but I can love without sex.

What Steph.TS says. This is how it's always been for me.

[Mona]

I always had a hard time separating sex and love. I tend to fall in love with someone I am having sex with, if it happens in that order!

[Samantha43]

So here's my broad brush.

I have met very few guys who wouldn't drop their pants in a New York minute if they thought they could get away with it. That's a pretty definite distinction between love and sex.

Jes' Sayin'

Stephie

That is a pretty broad brush. What kind of guys do you hang out with?

I have never have sex without love. I don't think I could. My friends are the same way.

I've been married for 23 years and could never cheat on her. Yes I have had the opportunity.

[ReineD]

As a GG, I can say that when I'm not in love with anyone, it is entirely doable to have sex when I'm feeling lustful. Of course, he's got to have lots of redeeming qualities, in other words he's got to be someone that I admire and like and there's got to be some chemistry there. I couldn't have sex with just anyone. And when I'm not in love with anyone, then I don't feel constrained to having sex with just one person. There could be someone else in the picture as well.

But when I'm in love with someone as I am now, then I do not feel lustful about others.

Most people in this thread agree with the premise posted in the OP that they, like women, don't separate sex from love. That's fine, although I disagree with the accurateness of the premise. There are lots of women who do have wild times when they are single. And quite a few more who have affairs. But what I don't understand is the number of GGs who have come through here in a panic because their husbands were having cybersex with men while dressed, or who were sneaking off to meet other CDs for sex.

It's like a parallel universe!