So, dressing DOESN'T turn u on! And, u dress because----?

[Marie-Elise]

Well, I guess I'll chime in here. Dressing as a woman always has the sexual undertone for me. In fact, I am beginning to think that my feminine side is a very sexual lesbian. Mind you, I didn't say "****ty"; just very into sex with women.

I like having my man bits; they feel great and get the job done. I don't feel that I was a woman born into a man's body and I don't feel the need to dress daily. I am not a candidate for transition by any stretch of the imagination.

In brief, it is always sexual with me. I might do things like cuddle with my wife but I do that in male mode as well. And I think sex is better with someone you love. I have been in plenty of situations where I declined sex because I didn't feel like the person offering was someone I could be close to over time. Yes, I am weird that way.

But, when I put on some stockings, heels, garter belt, bra, mini skirt and revealing top, well, let's just say that my feminine side has less a need to be in love with the woman she would be playing with. Since I never go out of the house en femme, my wife has no need to worry about my feminine side fooling around with some other woman.

[Pythos]

And I think sex is better with someone you love

I so wish more and more people would realize this. Perhaps this would lead to less "accidents" populating the world. (and yes I realize I may be including myself in that list of people not being born)

[Sally24]

I have to say that it is not sexual for me and I never have a "problem" while I am dressed. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy the sensual nature of the fine clothing and lingere that I wear in female mode. And yes, wearing, walking and seeing high heels on my feet make me FEEL sexy, but that doesn't end up equaling to sexual arousal. A counseler once told my wife that one of the signs that a CD is TS is that their dressing is not sexual exciting to them.

Now dressing is exciting for me in a different way. It makes me feel pretty....desirable....graceful....and a whole host of hard to describe emotions. And that HIGH is very addictive!

[NicoleScott]

Doc, I've never thought that we were all somewhere along one scale of...let's just call it... femininity. That may be one, but I think there are others, such as what degree clothes excite (or not). I believe, as I've posted before, that pleasure dressers and identity dressers are fundamentally different, not just on a different place on one scale. Many of us, and to varying extents, are sexually aroued by crossdressing, and by certain specific aspects of it.
It's not surprising that many cd's say that when they started crossdressing, it was sexually exciting, but over time the sexual aspect waned while the femme identity intensified and dressing became one way that femme identity was expressed. Many people believe that the drive to dress may have been misidentified because of all the changes that happen during the teen years.
Then there are those whose brain gender doesn't match their sex. I don't know what that's like. I've not lived it, only know what I have read, including here.
But I wonder why those who identify as themselves as transsexual females (and say they no longer crossdress - only dress to represent their true identity) continue to hang out here on the crossdressers forum. I know that transsexuals are welcome here, I just wonder why they want to be here.
I want to think that a MtF crossdressers forum is a place to discuss who, what, where, why, when, and how men wear women's clothes. Because it's sexually exciting is one good "why". This isn't a sex site where all the details are displayed, but it should be OK to say that I dress for excitement without being sent to the back of the bus. It seems that this site is being taken over by the "transgendered", and not the umbrella term but those who have a feminine identity, as the legitimate members, pleasure dressers being the deviant underclass. I could argue that those who identify as males but just like to crossdress ARE the REAL crossdressers. The forum has become a place where it's OK to discuss gay issues, but not OK to say you're straight, or worse "not gay". Crossdressers are encouraged to get out of the closet and out in public, as long as your presentation is acceptable. And, of course, "I don't for sexual reasons - I have evolved beyond that".
For those of you who don't get excited by crossdressing, it isn't always or just about quick masturbation sessions. But how would you know?

[Cheryl T]

Sorry, but I guess I'm in the minority.
It's no longer a sexual thing for me. I agree that it was at first, especially at puberty, but it is no longer that. It's more an emotional impact.
Yes, I love the feeling of nylons, the tug of them on my garter straps (the few times that I actually wear a garter belt), the weight of my breasts swaying as I walk and all the other things that go along with it. But, it is no longer sexual.
I think my responses are the same as any woman. When a woman dresses for a night out and dons something particularly feminine and pretty she feels it, but it's not a sexual thing. Enjoying the things that are distinctly feminine because of how they make me feel is different from a sexual turn on.

Ok, maybe I'm the odd one here...but that's how I feel.

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm turned on by taking the feminine role in sex play. Getting dressed doesn't turn me on, getting turned on often makes me want to dress. But, the clothing is only symbolic. It's neither necessary nor sufficient for arousal. There was a time when I could be the "man" sexually, but it always felt awkward and unnatural for me. As I've grown older, it's become much more difficult to psych myself into doing my "manly" duty even though my libido has only declined moderately over time. Outside the bedroom, I have no real feelings about being male or female since there isn't much I can do as a female that I couldn't do as a male and vice versa. I'm already a bit faggy as a dude, I don't really need the clothes to make me feel feminine. They are just one way to express it.

[Stephanie47]

Once upon a time many eons ago I was a horny teenager. Then being en femme was a sexual turn on which lead to masturbation. As a mature woman being en femme has become natural. I select the day's outfit the same way I would select my en homme outfit. Whatever pleases me for the day. Once dressed I go about my day without even thinking about my attire. I love the feel of nylons and full slips on my body. Being attractively dressed no longer leads to sexual stimulation.

[Steveo]

hello, ive been dressing for 25 years, and to begin with found the hole expereance very exiting,i think more from the forbidden point of view, very intoxicating but as the year's pass i have found it is just the relaxation i get from dressing, it does seem normal to dress this way, and to tell you the truth if i had to return to all male clothes it would have a detremental effect on me. but i do get exited at the prospect of new things coming through the post it seems to be the newness that triggers my exitement, there are a few things that i have that still do that thing to me when i find it amongst all the other mundain things i have, i soppose thats why we shop so much to keep that feeling alive in us. steve.

[ReineD]

Now dressing is exciting for me in a different way. It makes me feel pretty....desirable....graceful....and a whole host of hard to describe emotions. And that HIGH is very addictive!

Sally, I'm so glad you've posted this. It is a sentiment that is expressed here a lot and I'm sure most every CD can relate to it. I've been trying to find a word that describes it. It is not an outright sexual fetish as in having a fetish over particular items of clothing, or even over the idea of being a woman as in the case of autogynephilia.

But, it is still as you say, a "high" that women and TSs simply don't experience even when they dress up to go to nightclubs. I hate to use the word "fetish" since it does have negative connotations because it is associated with sex, and as you say the dressing is not sexual for you and many others. There are several other, non-sexual dictionary definitions for fetish and one of them might be considered.

Using the words "addiction" or "compulsion" won't do, since they imply there is no feminine gender ID that needs expression, although the brain chemicals that are released when you and others feel like this are the same as the chemicals released when an addict or compulsive engage in their substance or behavior of choice.

What word could be used to accurately describe this intense attraction, or high, that so many CDs experience? If it is not a sexual excitement that leads to orgasm, then what type of excitement is it?

I think this is very much in line with Doc's question.

In some ways, I suppose "part time non-op transsexual" would be a more accurate description of how I behave but not of who I am.

Tangentially from this discussion and also just as a suggestion, you might want to consider the term "bigender" (someone whose gender alternates between male and female), or "dualgender" (someone who is always a mixture of both genders, although one or the other may be more at the forefront on any given day).

[Andi.Devine]

When I originally started cross dressing way back in the day, i was really young and I enjoyed the feeling of wearing the lingerie and the feeling of arousal that came with it. Over time I have grown such that getting dressed in something I like to see myself wearing is not for a quick gratification session. I wear it all night while I am sleeping or during the day when I am home by myself and it just makes me feel great all over and inside. I like the way the material feels, the way it is cut and fits and the way my body looks while wearing it. I haven't yet felt the need to get dressed in something that I can wear out in the world, although I am not saying I won't ever do so. Not sure what that makes me, but I like it..

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]I'm with Sherry here. I dress for the exotic and erotic nature of the lingerie, stockings, heels, and outerwear. I never underdress or dress without my makeup and hair. It's the whole package that I consider exciting and arousing. I try to keep the heat down with a fairly conservative, fitted, approach to my attire. I don't dress for comfort or to feel good in my own skin. I've got plenty of attractive men's wear for that![/SIZE]

[Laurie A]

Sally, I'm so glad you've posted this. It is a sentiment that is expressed here a lot and I'm sure most every CD can relate to it. I've been trying to find a word that describes it. It is not an outright sexual fetish as in having a fetish over particular items of clothing, or even over the idea of being a woman as in the case of autogynephilia.

But, it is still as you say, a "high" that women and TSs simply don't experience even when they dress up to go to nightclubs. I hate to use the word "fetish" since it does have negative connotations because it is associated with sex, and as you say the dressing is not sexual for you and many others. There are several other, non-sexual dictionary definitions for fetish and one of them might be considered.

Using the words "addiction" or "compulsion" won't do, since they imply there is no feminine gender ID that needs expression, although the brain chemicals that are released when you and others feel like this are the same as the chemicals released when an addict or compulsive engage in their substance or behavior of choice

What word could be used to accurately describe this intense attraction, or high, that so many CDs experience? If it is not a sexual excitement that leads to orgasm, then what type of excitement is it?

I think this is very much in line with Doc's question.

I was trying to think of a word and nothing seemed to work. Obsession may fit (except that there are negative connotations) so maybe we can make up one ie: fempulsion or fempossession

To answer Doc's question, I dress pretty much strictly for the thrill. Its all about the sensous touch and feel of some women's clothing. Sometimes, I feel ashamed to admit it, even on this board!

[pernille d]

I started dressing before I knew about sex , so what does that mean as i must admit as I got older my dressing was just in lingeri and it did get associated with a sexual aspect . I don't want to transition but as I got older I have progressed to full on dressing. I just like the clothong and yes it does feel nice to put on some lingeri , pull on some nylons and top it off with a nice dress. But the sexual aspect is there sometimes as we all like to be naughty some times. But for me now it's more of a well being feeling and knowing I look good. ( it's also quite funny as I often dress on the drive to work and change before I arrive, when I take my nylons off I get the feeling of being naked and not dressed )

[Nikki A.]

At some point there was and still is a sexual gratification. However the more I dress the less of a sexual thing it becomes. At home I'm just happy in a skirt and top. When I'm out I wear the shapewear, not to arouse myself or others but to look more presentable and so that the clothes fit better and not look like a man in a dress. I think that it is easier to be accepted when you fully present as female than be in between, whether you pass or not. This is not a knock on those who do dress in an in between state, for me I am not comfortable with it. To each his/her own.

[susan54]

I don't know why others are so keen to insist that it must be a turn-on for everyone whop cross-dresses. Each to their own. I admit it is obsessive, I admit I feel great when it looks right, but there is no change in the outline of a clingy skirt - that requires input from a real woman (yep, I don't do porn either). I don't want to be a woman and I don't even imagine I am a woman when I go out dressed as one - I am ACTING, and lots of people get a buzz out of acting. Is THAT sexual? Is the obsession lots of women have with clothes and shoes sexual? No. So give those of us who just enjoy the adrenalin rush a break. Sensual is not the same as sexual. Lots of women's clothes feel nice whether you are dressed in them or a woman is, but the woman is needed for the turn on (and she doesn't NEED to be dressed in women's clothes for me to feel like this - or any clothes). You can find heels that are comfortable (try leather - it makes a huge difference) and even bra can be comfortable if you get the right one. If the clothes are uncomfortable you are wearing the wrong clothes.

[lynn_lynn]

if I compared Crossdressing to something like cannabis. It would be a really close comparison.. One the euphoria is harmless, feel better about myself, sparks my imagination, it does not get me ornery unless I want it to. Sure when I was younger. But I also didnt dress as much in the beginning. I look in the mirror and its colorful. Im more outgoing and calmer, it lessens my pain.. and morally Im not hurting anyone.. and I can grow both in a closet.. lol

[Barbara Jo]

Let's get this into perspective here.
There are many GGs who also enjoy ocasionally dressing as described (some more than others) for mostly all the same reasons.
It makes them feel more feminine and yes, sexy.

So, don't beat yourselves up too much over this.

[GingerLeigh]

Turn on? Uhh....OK yeah sure. I've always loved the feel of silky nylons on my legs, the jingle of the earrings on my ear lobes, the gentle swish of the skirt across my legs... But I've been doing this since I was 5 and I knew nothing of sex then. The whole sexual turn on thing was incorporated in my teenage years when my attention went to looking for anything pretty. This never really left I guess.

There is a part of me that simply NEEDS to express my hidden femininity and cares not about the arousal. That is what drives me to crossdress in the first place. This may be the part that gets all disgusted with the other part of me afterwards... Another, much larger part of me (my brain people! Jeeze!) is all guy and it reacts the same way I would if I'm, you know... interested. Well what else is there to do? I don't go anywhere or see anyone! I can't just sit and look pretty while "he" impatiently demands attention.

Oh who am I kidding.. I have absolutely no idea why I do this and I never will.

[Nicole Erin]

A lot of CD's and even TS who say nothing about it is sensual are just trying to "clean it up" for the GG's and to look wholesome. There is this theory among some TG that GG's have no turn-ons related to wearing anything.

God forbid you call yourself a TS and have some kind of turn-on relating to wearing something femme, that is the very definition of "not a true TS". Which is why some of the younger ones run around looking like an 80's hooker in a rock video.
At least CDs are quicker to admit there is an element of arousal.

I can imagine some older people may honestly not get aroused by near anything cause sex drive does diminish as you age but most of us are not older.

I did an extensive research about the age which masturbation stops for someone. Yes, I asked my dad if there was an age. He said, "If there is such an age, it isn't 70".

[Lorileah]

since 75% of my daily wardrobe is from the womens department, getting turned on would make for a long and embarrassing day.

I won't say there has never been a sexual component (for 12-18 years of age) and I won't say I don't feel sexy in some outfits (doesn't everybody??? C'mon those ragged sweats and the tighty whities with the big hole in the butt...doesn't that make you feel sooooo sexy?), but that isn't the reason I wear them. I am closer to Stephanie in that I just like how they look and fit.

This whole thing may be a red herring. concept of dressing to feel attractive and to even feel some sort of sexual excitement isn't an unusual idea. Ask the GG's and they will tell you how an outfit did it for them at sometime or another. DRS I know you are a fetishist but I am still surprised how many others have come clean in the last week

I can't wait for the threads next week that say "I only wear the clothes because I like them!" We are such a fickle lot

[NathalieX66]

I have my fetishes. Yeah, they are exciting beyond belief to whatever my creative imagination comes up with. .......Male libido & male brain wiring + imagination = you get what you get.

However, my femme side is the other half of me, and I want no fetish or sexual feeling involved. I just want to enjoy the limitless freedom of self expression women have, because they do it.
In that respect, I have to deal with being born with the wrong chromosomes. If I was born female, I'd be perfectly happy.

[Dawn cd]

For me, dressing isn't primarily erotic---altho I do get a little charge from it---and neither is it an identity statement as it is for Melody and some others. I love dressing because it brings me comfort, emotionally and physically. Women's clothing (once you get past foundation garments and heels) is soft and flowing, not as heavy as men's. Being dressed in a nice top and capri pants provides stress relief: I no longer have to be a Type A male. It doesn't take a wig and makeup and the full regalia to achieve this state. Just give me something pretty and soft and loose, and I'm in heaven.

[Sally24]

A lot of CD's and even TS who say nothing about it is sensual are just trying to "clean it up" for the GG's and to look wholesome.

The oldest trick in the book of debating is to insinuate that those that disagree with you are lying! Being anonymous here, there is not much reason to lie to the GGs or anyone else. You might be surprised to find that not everyone on this forum feels the same way about things.

[Stephenie S]

I think that it's important to remember that there is a difference between SENSUAL and SEXUAL.

A lot of women's clothing has a sensual aspect (smooth, light, soft, silky) that seems to be lacking in most men's clothing. I haven't worn high heels in over 30 years, but I still remember the FUN of stepping up into a pair of heels. When was the last time you felt that putting on your guy shoes was a fun experience? But when you have to get dressed every day, clothing, both men's and women's, becomes pretty much just that. Clothing.

Stephie

[Frédérique]

So, dressing DOESN'T turn u on! And, u dress because----? Ok! DON'T get excited! I know many of u dress to represent the gender u feel u actually r, or should have been!

[SIZE="2"]What inspired this thread, my dear? Did someone declare that dressing up ISN’T a turn-on? All statements to the contrary seem to emanate from outside our realm of the senses – it may help if the respondents consult a road map before posting in this section, since the males are playing with themselves in rather imaginative ways. Curiouser and curiouser…


Of course dressing up turns me on, but not in the way that YOU think. When I cover my male form with appropriate female garments, all fetishistic, sensual, and tactile to a fault, a funny thing happens. Rather than my male “self” getting turned ON, he is effectively turned OFF, and I am free to enjoy my true “self.” If this was not the case, how could I dress all day long, be cool and calm, and appreciate the difference? Crossdressing as a kind of circuit-breaker – what a concept!
[/SIZE]