help me out please

[kendog1982]

Hey everyone. I've been crossdressing on and off for 12 years. I'm a straight male. I just find womens clothing much more interesting than male clothing and I feel more comfortable on womens clothing snd heels. Over the past 24 months I've had some problems. Ever since I've been more open about my crossdressing, its cost me 3 relationships with ladies and the grief that comes with these jerks. And I also twice got busted by the connecticut state troopers on I-95 for speeding and once they saw the way I was dressed I got the "looks" and ball breaking and they decided because of the different way I dressed that I was a prostitute up to no good. Even though I wore nothing suggestive they cuffed me and searched my car and made me do a dui field test. And still hit me with summonses for promoting prostitution. What did I ever do? Is there something wrong with me? What did I do to deserve this? I get called a "fag" even though I'm straight and never looked at a male that way. Please help me out!

[Julogden]

Perhaps consider getting a lawyer? See if there are listings for LGBT lawyers in your area. I did a quick Google search, click here for the results.

Good luck,
Carol

[kendog1982]

Thanks carol I appreciate it I found an excellent lawyer in Waterbury and got both thrown out because of police discrimination. Its just I feel like this stigma is hurting me and whenever I get a serious girlfriend and they find out what I do they run away faster the Usain Bolt at the olympics! The 2 cops that busted me got suspended for discrimination and I see whenever a state cop sees me from their troop they all treat me bad for "smearing a good cop" I'm just hurting bad and don't know what to do. I won't stop crossdressing because this close minded society thinks its "gay" "freaky" and "just plain wrong"

[NathalieX66]

Well, I went to college in Connecticut, and have been pulled over a couple of times by the state police...mainly because I was a bad boy, and was caught speeding.....and also for passing cars on the right, which i should be punished for. The left lane is meant for passing. That's how it's done in Germany on the Autobahn....slow cars right/fast cars left.
I've been between Cologne, Dusseldorf and Amsterdam, NL.

A majority of crossdressers are straight. We (like me) love feminine things.....gay guys love masculine guys, and masculine things. Yes there's plenty of in-between, but I'm talking where the happy medium is here.

Cops just react to anything they see as suspicious, mainly because they think they can get away with it. Some is true.
The sad reality is that, homosexuality aside, any aspect of transgenderness in any form willl alway be treated with suspicion and negativity.....that's the way it goes. Even I put up with it when I'm out & about in public.

[Cynthia Anne]

Perhaps you do need a good lawyer! You can help yourself by obeying the law! HUGS! OH YES WELCOME TO THE FORUM!

[Leelou]

So sorry for the harassment from the state troopers. I agree with with the advice to get legal help. Obviously you did nothing wrong. I would probably start with the ACLU, they might help you at no cost. You might even have a lawsuit. That's blatant discrimination and harassment based on gender identity issues.

Anyway, welcome to CD.com. Stick around for support with the relationship and other issues. Don't let the hateful bigots get you down. You're in good company.

Edited to add (ETA): just saw your post about the charge being dropped and the discipline handed out to the bigots. Good.

[kendog1982]

thanks hun i appreciate it

thank you cynthia i got got busted going 74 in a 65 both times lol

[celeste26]

In the very few encounters with the law while dressed en femme nothing at all was said to me and it had no effect at all about the results of the incidence. But then I live in Oregon a very liberal state. Sorry for your experiences but until your state gets their act in order and forces the law enforcement people to honor the non discrimination laws they we will still be faced with issues like this. It might also help by keeping within the law in the first place so those encounters are fewer and further apart.

[kendog1982]

thanks celeste looking good sweetie this state just started allowing same sex marriage so i find what happened hypocritical

thanks to everyone who posted here im feeling better already!

[Loni]

best you can do in the future is obey the sped limits and come to a complete stop. do this no mater how you are dressed. it will save you problems.

sadly there are people including police that just do not understand anybody's way of life but there own. but on there side of the view...maybe they just got off a call that included a bad deal were they got attacked by a homosexual?...never know how there night went, so just say yes sir and no sir. never get into a talk with them as they are fishing.

as for the dressing, just dress like any woman out for a day/night. never give the po-po the reason to think anything is up. act like a proper lady, drive like a proper lady, do not go were a proper lady would not be at 2:am. AND NEVER drink and drive. be cold stone sober.

as for any other just enjoy doing what you like to do as you are doing nothing illegal. go shopping, dancing, dinner/lunch, target shooting, surfing, shopping, etc.

but keep that lawyers number on your phone one touch to call setting.

.
.

[Momarie]

"Over the past 24 months I've had some problems. Ever since I've been more open about my cross dressing, its cost me 3 relationships with ladies and the grief that comes with these jerks. And I also twice got busted by the Connecticut state troopers on I-95 for speeding and once they saw the way I was dressed I got the "looks" and ball breaking and they decided because of the different way I dressed that I was a prostitute up to no good".

Umm, so sorry for your woes.

But ALL three ladies you were in a relationship with are JERKS???
TWO State Troopers who caught you for speeding were out of line???

Sorry Mr. Kendog ~ Ten Posts,
You might want to re-think how you represent yourself.
Many, many (MOST) Ladies on this website go though-out their whole lives without getting in a fraction of the troubles you have had in the past two years.
Perhaps the problem isn't cross dressing at all.

[juno]

My very first time out of the house I was pulled over for an expired license tag. (I forgot about registration due to some serious pink fog.) I was asked more questions than usual, but overall was treated with respect. It was about 1:30AM in Raleigh, NC. I found in more funny than scary.

If you worry about law enforcement, it is obviously a bad idea to break the law while dressed.

As for women not being into CD men, that should be expected. Most men have attributes that annoy women. Just remember that CDing is much nicer than many of the other ways that men can be annoying (e.g. being mean and even abusive.) There are women out there that can appreciate us. Be honest, and don't get discouraged.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

I lived in Ct for 25 years, what the troopers did was wrong both morally and legally. Of a cop harrasses you for no good reason they need to be held accountable. I once was pulled over five days in a row for various reasons I finally told the officer that if I got pulled over for no good reason I would sue their department and them for discrimination and profiling. They apologized and never bothered me again.

[kendog1982]

Momarie. Those women and cop were out of line for judging me based on my clothes preference.

[Kaitlyn26]

I'm curious, did one of the women you dated know a cop? Nothing will motivate a cop like a female friend in distress (or one capable of lying). A police officer without a personal agenda would not have tried to stick those charges on you at a traffic stop, they can't possibly stick. He knew exactly what was going to happen and how it would play out. They're not stupid. You're being harassed by one of those women.

[Leelou]

"Over the past 24 months I've had some problems. Ever since I've been more open about my cross dressing, its cost me 3 relationships with ladies and the grief that comes with these jerks. And I also twice got busted by the Connecticut state troopers on I-95 for speeding and once they saw the way I was dressed I got the "looks" and ball breaking and they decided because of the different way I dressed that I was a prostitute up to no good".

Umm, so sorry for your woes.

But ALL three ladies you were in a relationship with are JERKS???
TWO State Troopers who caught you for speeding were out of line???

Sorry Mr. Kendog ~ Ten Posts,
You might want to re-think how you represent yourself.
Many, many (MOST) Ladies on this website go though-out their whole lives without getting in a fraction of the troubles you have had in the past two years.
Perhaps the problem isn't cross dressing at all.

That's pretty harsh, I think. I think she presented herself well for her first post. She gets pulled over for speeding and gets a prostitution citation because she's dressed? You think that's OK? Speeding is a traffic infraction, not a criminal charge.

And the relationship stuff we all deal with, that's OK to address in the first post.

Let's be more welcoming. She's looking for help and support.

[kendog1982]

Thanks leelou. Ur a sweetie. I appreciate it. It just sucks how close minded people are

[DonnaT]

I can understand being down about the relations not lasting, but find the right woman is more important. One that will be understanding. So be proud that you told them the truth.

You might want to see if there is a trans support group nearby. One that can put a program together to educate the police. Note that some police have LGBT liaison officers, which could be contacted as well.