I love digging deep into the uncomfortable psyche and I have been called this or that several times but this need to understand is addictive.
Dressing was an integral part of my transsexuality, Do not get up in arms about the term I am not saying you are, but rather when you have the urge to dress or are dressed, and you let the imagination run wild:

do you cross the line of reality based experience when if possible without much consequence you would want to become a genuine woman???????????????????????????even if for a moment