Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 50

Thread: Do Gays Hate Crossdressers?

  1. #1
    Member mymysterycd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    157

    Do Gays Hate Crossdressers?

    It's really strange, and at times funny, of how we crossdressers can be portrayed. Let me explain: I have a gay friend who posses tons of adult magazines and videos spread around his place..all showing guys doing guys. Now I don't have anything against with my friend expressing what his taste or sexual origin is but I was really offended when I asked him about crossdressers. As we were driving to another friend's place the topic about crossdressers came up as we discussed a movie.
    I asked him, "What do you think about crossdressers?...many say they aren't gay, but are more like a woman" He got upset right away at my questions and stated "Crossdressers are so weird, they have some major issue to be wanting to dress like women...I think it's sick"
    After hearing this from him I confronted him and stated that many crossdressers weren't gay and just had the need to dress, others preferred to be treated like a girl and felt they had an inner girl in themselves..like me. He just could not accept my side of the story, he thought that if a man is not attracted to a man as a man then he's sick. This really got me upset to say the least.
    So I reminded him that many "straight" people used to think the same way of the gays, but they are now not as ignorant and are able to accept them better. He didn't say anything. But when he finally did, he stated that crossdressers are just a bunch of drag queens who don't want to face the fact that they're gay.
    I obviously ended the conversation because I saw no point in going in circles when he just wouldn't understand what I was trying to say. What do you think? If you have gay friends...have you ever asked them what they think about us, crossdressers? Thank you for reading my post. Kisses...Lisa

    Thank you everyone for your feedback on my questions, it has been very fullfilling. I can see things a bit more clear now. I hope to share my other questions will all of you here. By the way since I can't link my webpage here yet you can google my blog by googling " mymysterycd blog " it is how I got started and expressing my feminine side online...because in the public I'm still discrete. It's only a simple blog...but I do have some pics a bit revealing but no nudity. Thank you once again for your great involvement on my posted thread. Best to all. Kisses...Lisa
    Last edited by mymysterycd; 08-22-2011 at 01:08 PM. Reason: Thanking everyone

  2. #2
    Wafflemeister Erika_bagels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Groton, CT
    Posts
    133
    I don't understand what the fundamental difference is. For some reason, I've said this before, we're ranked right above pedos and rapists on the "pervert food chain". I don't like it, and I don't understand it. Although your friend's reaction is typical, that still doesn't mean it should happen.
    Hi, I'm Erika. I love baking and am almost completely closeted.

  3. #3
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Yorkshire, England
    Posts
    4,700
    Hey! We have moved up the food chain? Celebration time!

    Seriously, we are more complex than straightforward gays. They are happy with who they are, they just want to be with the same sex. We are a little more 'je ne c'est quoi'?
    Kaz xx

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    This Woman Within is Flying without Wings

  4. #4
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    waimate new zealand
    Posts
    3,326
    Hi,

    Ill answer from another side, im not accepted by as i have found out the hard liners who are lesbain ,
    Because thet dont accept males yet many were married & have children so if your a male as in . trans dressers transsexuale or T V . & those of us who are female / male or intersexed. oh dear not sure now about our female to male . no dought ill find out .

    so if theres a hint of male like my self in thier eys im out . yet i do have some neat friends who & i dont use lesbain because they are our friends Jos & Dejarn & my self ,

    Now not all are like that. many will accept us on just being who we are or who i am .

    As far as i can tell i have a few gay guys who are allso my friends no prob's there, because they know my background . tho i have wondered that some will only see me as a woman
    Im with a group of rainbow familys that i know & most if not all accept me , women of cause,

    You are right many not just gay will see dress'rs will be seen as off beat & not quite right in the head , thats just the fact of the matter . tho my women friends who i have shown many pics of my dresser friends all dressed up tho they thought they were women at a ball i attended . were all men . till i told them thought they looked so good...that was in syd austraila, 3 year ago.

    It comes down to if a person wont's to know why a person is the way they are then nothing will change in regards to how people see those who are different , not just the trans community. its called . being a ... P R ...public relastons person. some thing i do ,

    This is another ? concerning, L B G T wont work because theres to many splenter groups & even then with in there is infighting .

    The difference about all of this is , THE ...WONT....DONT . side of the person's concerned. it's not about understanding its they dont wont to,

    Pity tho because i do have so many neat friends who are not bothered & they are real friends.

    ...noeleena...

  5. #5
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    2,057
    The first thing to ask your friend is "How would he know?" (i.e. does he know this from personal experience as a crossdresser or knowing a number of crossdressers well [larger samples in breadth and depth are more accurate]). If he hasn't done this, he is not entitled to an opinion; if he has, it's an indication of self-loathing that may originate from other causes.
    The plain truth is that prejudice is not confined to one race, national origin, gender or gender ID, religious or sexual orientation, or any particular group or groups; it is exhibited by some members of any or all of them. Your friend may represent a very small minority or the majority of any group he may be part of, but assuming that all of that group feel the same way is as erroneous and prejudiced as your friend's opinion.
    Last edited by donnalee; 08-21-2011 at 07:59 AM.
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  6. #6
    Be free - overcome fear!
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,909
    Quote Originally Posted by noeleena View Post
    Ill answer from another side, im not accepted by as i have found out the hard liners who are lesbain ,
    Because thet dont accept males yet many were married & have children so if your a male as in . trans dressers transsexuale or T V . & those of us who are female / male or intersexed. oh dear not sure now about our female to male . no dought ill find out .
    I personally believe that there another reason why you are not being accepted by the lesbian community
    Noeleena because I am deeply involved with my local lesbian community & I had not one girl, but two
    different girls hitting on me just last night at our local LGBT nightclub & monthly LGBT party. I was told
    recently that by the leader of our local lesbian group that every other woman in the group wants me
    to be involved. Don't ask me why this is happening to me and not you, but for some reason they have
    taken a real shine to me. My friends on here who are also on Facebook can also verify this.

    I don't know about crossdressers, but as a transsexual female I have had some gay guys who have
    been rude towards me & others have tried to talk me out of having my SRS because they obviously
    would like me to keep the male parts which are so important to them. So that is my 2 cents worth.
    Last edited by Melody Moore; 08-21-2011 at 09:32 AM.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Samantha B L's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    8,204
    I've known I was a crossdresser since I was 7 or 8. I couldn't tell you if I was gay or not because I've done it with guys a few times but I only do it with people I've known for a long,long time. I also like women and I am totally fascinated with their comportment and costumerie. I had a female SO for years but she passed away in 2005. I'm very interested in fem stuff. In fact,I basically consider myself to be a transvestite but I like this forum best out of all the ones I've tried because the others were too psychological and psychiatric or else they were pretty much for people who are in an income range where they can afford to buy diamond tiaras and go to Europe 5 or 6 times a year.



    I've known a lot ot gay people who keep a few fem items stuck away in their things and they do dress sometimes but there are just a few who seem put off by crossdressing. There was someone in the forum who is actually a freind of mine who posted a year or two ago about a gay psychologist and a crony of his who are trying to promote their rather agressive "cure" for people who crossdress. this cure employs crude and strongarming methods to force individuals out of their "obsession" and sadly,the guy and his colleague are both gay! Without intending to sound reverse prejudicial,most of the gays I've known are intelligent and lively to be around. So this is hard to beleive! I think we could be a very powerful social force to be reckoned with if everyone in the LGBT spectrum stuck together.

  8. #8
    Life is for having fun. suzy1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Hampshire, U.K.
    Posts
    5,100
    I do not want offend you but that friend of yours is the sort of bigoted moron that I really hate.

  9. #9
    One Perky Goth Gurl Pythos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    SF Bay Area
    Posts
    2,976
    A prime example of those that are discriminated against, discrimitating against other minorities.

    HE IS THE ONE THAT IS SICK, and ignorant as well.

    Most people do not have their jerk off mags laying around the house either.

    This guy is a friend? He is part of our problem.

    The only gay guy I know IS a crossdresser as well...he is the only crossdresser I know of personally that is gay.

    Some gays also have a problem with bi-sexuals too.
    "I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
    Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

  10. #10
    Gender adventurer JamieG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Eastern Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,220
    You have to be careful about drawing assumptions about a group based on the words and actions of a few. Based on the words of some who post on this sight, a gay person could equally ask "Do crossdressers hate gays?" I have a gay friend who pushes for T inclusion (using the wide definition of transgender that includes crossdressers) in the LGBT movement. He knows I'm a crossdresser, and is very supportive. I'm sure there are gay people like your friend, I think many of them are like the rest of the world; their image of crossdressers are the weirdos you see on Jerry Springer and bad TV movies. But I there are as many, maybe even more, like my friend.

    One interesting aside: some gay friends of my wife have repeatedly told her they don't believe there is such a thing as a bisexual male. They say anyone who claims to be one is actually gay but too afraid to completely admit it. Even funnier, they do not think that bisexual women are simply lesbians in denial. It seems to me that they are projecting their own experiences on to the world around them. I think this a good lesson: we all need to be careful about assuming that our choices and rationales will directly apply to everyone else.

  11. #11
    Be free - overcome fear!
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,909
    Quote Originally Posted by Pythos View Post
    A prime example of those that are discriminated against, discrimitating against other minorities.
    This happens right across the whole LGBT spectrum and there is no group
    is any bad or worse than the other when it comes to bigotry & discrimination.
    And the sad part is that this type of divide does absolutely nothing to help
    our own cause, in fact it weakens it. I have recently ripped it up the leader
    of my 'transgender support group' for suggesting to me that she was going
    to kick a new transsexual girl out of the group because she was struggling
    & had not started her hormones or made any effort towards feminisation.

    I have also argued with the same trans-woman after she came out & said that we should be
    exclusive & only supporting transsexuals when we identify as a transgender support group. So
    I brought this up with my pyschologist who originally established our transgender support group
    and she was horrified to hear what this trans-woman running the group was doing, especially
    to new members who needed our support. So at the last meeting I have put the motion forward
    to establish a proper committee & install some democracy into running our group. So far I have
    had a very favourable response and we will be voting on the at our next meeting.

  12. #12
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,115
    Bigot: A prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from their own or intolerant of people of different political views, ethnicity, race, class, religion, profession, sexuality or gender. (Wikipedia)

    Anyone can be bigoted, whether they are a part of the GLBTQ community or not.

    I'm sure there are many gay men who don't think that CDs are freaks, although they won't be attracted to a man who wishes to present as a woman:

    http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...dressers-doing
    Reine

  13. #13
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    4,911
    I have some gay and lesbian friends and I frequent LGBT venues from time to time. In my own personal experience (which may be different from your own) I've found mixed reactions from the gay community, ranging from being welcomed and accepted with open arms, to being completely ignored. When talking to people I've found complete bewilderment as to why I would want to dress as a woman if I claim not to be a drag queen. However, I have never had a feeling that any one truly hated me or thought I was weird or anything like that. My overall feeling is that a lot of the LGBT community as a whole don't understand us but they don't particularly like or dislike us either. We're just there as the "T". Lisa, it's unfortunate, but IMO your guy friend is just like all the other bigots in the world .. an a$$hole.
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

  14. #14
    Gen thechic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    791
    I think some Gays do hate crossdressers,went to a wedding 4 months ago ,one of my relatives was there,that i use to get on with ,he deliberately ignored me and made it so ovious.his mother said he hates transexuals.Not a good freind to have.

  15. #15
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,451
    Just because a person is a potential target for prejudice, does not mean they are free from prejudice themselves. That also applies to CDs. I could cite many examples of prejudice by people who believe themselves to be accepting of everyone, but they don't have anything to do with CDing so I won't.

    Prejudice or lack thereof is a property of individuals not of groups. Any time you decide that a person must be prejudiced because he belongs to this group, or that a person must be unprejudiced because she belongs to that group, your judgement is almost certain to be wrong. In fact, basing such a judgement based on groups IS prejudice.

    CK

  16. #16
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    7,323
    There is not just one "gay community" here in Winnipeg. The two long-lasting gay clubs are merely one block apart and some people feel more comfortable in one and some feel more comfortable in the other.

    The cross-dressing group I am a member of meets at one of the gay clubs, which is community owned and operated. They have made us quite welcome, provide space rent-free, given us donations, are always happy to see us, complement us, and generally make us feel good. Every year for the Pride parade, they specifically ask us to be on their float. When they have had Board of Directors vacancies for the club, they have asked some of our members if we would be willing to serve (and some of our members have so served.)

    Now, I don't mean that when I wander in on a busy weekend night that the members all look across the floor and simultaneously say, "Hi, Bob!"; there are quite a number that I have never met or talked to. If any individual there has personal objections, they keep them to themselves, and go about doing whatever they are doing, not fashed that the club is the sort of club that openly welcomes cross-dressers.

  17. #17
    fearless transowman juno's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    706
    Many people dislike or even hate people different than them. I think it is more of a personality disorder that seems to afflict a lot of humans. The reason such a person doesn't like some other group of people does not have to make any logical sense. Some people just feel the need to see some other class of people as defective so that they can feel better about their own insecurities. If this person ever learns not to dislike crossdressers, he will likely pick some other group to dislike.
    Juno Michelle Krahn

    Normal people are weird. Stealth is another word for "in the closet".

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    676
    More "us v. them". Do gays hate crossdressers? Do blacks hate whites? Do Koreans hate Japanese? Do Christians hate Muslims?

    Yep, I think sometimes they actually do. But in my experience, not all the time, not most of the time, not a majority of the time, maybe not even a significant minority of the time, but nonetheless...sometimes. So do we label the whole and base our reactions on...sometimes? Do we assume that they're all hateful and bigots based on the actions of the few? I sure as hell hope not, because that seems to be just as judgemental and bigoted to me.

    In my years of involvement in the GLBT community and having had a number of GLB friends, I've very rarely witnessed bigotry from GLBs toward transpeople. Sure, some GLBs don't understand being trans, but that's hardly different from TGs who don't understand being gay. You don't have to look long on these boards to find the latter and you don't have to look hard to find some serious anti-gay vitriol too.

    If you're looking for hate, you'll find it easily. Perhaps it might be better to start looking for shared values or experiences and build on that instead. Perhaps if we *all* took a little more time to understand the other person, be willing to educate them, and be receptive to learning something new ourselves, then the world might just be a little better place for all of us to live.

  19. #19
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    San Francisco Area
    Posts
    11,379
    I am with Rachel on this one. There always will be someone who hates someone else or something else. However, that one, or minority in no way truly represents the sentiments of the majority. I have only had positive results in all of my encounters, which are a lot here in the San Francisco area and based on my SOP of talking to that stranger(s) next to me or across the room, with gays and lesbians. So, regarding the OP's experience, I would quickly write that off to an individual(not a group) who has his own problems which then manifest themselves in the expressed hate of others.

  20. #20
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Posts
    6,772
    Jets fans hate Giants fans, Mets fans hate Yankee fans, people are always looking to group up with people who are similar to themselves, and set themselves apart (and as superior) to those who are different. Nothing really new here. I've known tolerant homosexual people, and others who insist I'm just in denial because they feel I hate the thought of being homosexual myself. There's one in every crowd......

  21. #21
    A Happy Woman Darlene-VA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    In the beautiful Blue Ridge mountains of VA
    Posts
    469
    Two of my best friends in the world are a pair of gay men and most of my time with them is spend dressed, they love Darlene. We go out for dinner and the movies and have the best of times. Both of them are aware that crossdressers are even a smaller segment of the population and in some peoples view we are not as accepted as they are.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Life is too short dress whenever you can!

  22. #22
    Member Loretta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    California
    Posts
    210
    That may be the case with older LGBTs, but the newer generation of LBGTs are very accepting, and see crossdressing as a part of the TG spectrum.
    "Move along people, there's nothing to see here."

  23. #23
    One Perky Goth Gurl Pythos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    SF Bay Area
    Posts
    2,976
    Loretta,

    I think the younger generations will be much more accepting, and not just tollerant of those that are different, and may even have more of our numbers within them. It is ones of my age and older that hold to what I consider outdated, and damaging views of others.
    "I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
    Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member PrettyFlowingGown's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Brisbane, QLD.
    Posts
    522
    In Brisbane, the only safe place for CDs to go to socially is at gay bars, like the Sporties, etc. 95 percent of the gay men there tolerate us, but dont socialize with us....they basiccly ignore us. You do certainly feel the hate....and i've heard them say things when I've walked past them. They certainly are very ignorant, and foul mannared. They cry for acceptance, but judge us. Work it out!!!!
    I, myself have been intimate with men (I'm seeing a man at the moment), but weirdly enough, I dont consider myself gay as a whole, cause I'm not attracted to all men. Its more my female side wanting intimacy and love.
    I wont ever fall into the category of most gay men, cause they do think they are above us, and feel that they can say what they like about us and treat us terribly. I know by experience.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]I love my gorgous flowing evening and ball gowns. I love swishing in them, and feeling how beautiful and shimmering they are. I love to feel like a princess. I love to be elegant, feminine and ladylike.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member PrettyFlowingGown's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Brisbane, QLD.
    Posts
    522
    Quote Originally Posted by Pythos View Post
    Loretta,

    I think the younger generations will be much more accepting, and not just tollerant of those that are different, and may even have more of our numbers within them. It is ones of my age and older that hold to what I consider outdated, and damaging views of others.
    Younger people, yes, are more understanding of us in the gay scene, cause the odd one has come over and sat with me.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]I love my gorgous flowing evening and ball gowns. I love swishing in them, and feeling how beautiful and shimmering they are. I love to feel like a princess. I love to be elegant, feminine and ladylike.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State