Michelle, it wasn't my intention to make it seem worse than it is.
I did say, "it is the
rare CD" who is not clocked, especially when he is actively interacting with others ... if he is engaged in a real conversation. There must be some CDs who are taken as genetic women, but honestly I think this is very rare. Even many of the transsexuals who take hormones and who are on androgen blockers feel they need facial feminization surgery, and extensive voice work, so as not to leave a hint of their male origins.
But, being clocked is not a bad thing. Let me explain.
My SO for many years went out without interacting much with others, other than using very few words when ordering a meal, or paying at a cash register. And before I go further I need to tell you that my SO blends very well and most people on the street would not immediately think "guy in a dress" as they pass her by. She has her own natural mid-back hair which she keeps tied at the nape of her neck in guy mode, small hands and feet (the same size as mine), she has had laser beard removal so there is no shadow, her addam's apple doesn't show, and her face does not have an overly male appearance (chin, forehead, etc).
But, she did realize that when she began to actively engage in lengthy conversations with people, they just "knew". The reality is that some gender cues are more subtle than we think, such as facial width, shoulder breadth, neck size, profile shape, and many others, plus the biggest tell of all which is the voice even if a CD has learned to soften it. But, the beautiful part of all of this is that my SO discovered that some people are very accepting of her presentation and they do treat her as the woman she presents. She has made several friends among the places that she goes to frequently, and she has adjusted her views of how people really see her as the result.
I agree that if a blending CD passes people by on the street, most won't read her since the idea that she might be a CD just isn't at the forefront of their thoughts. My point is that most people will know when they do have a direct interaction with the CD, that is more than just a few words, and most people will react politely .... especially restaurant personnel, bank tellers, cashiers, and SAs.