Child Custody and Crossdressing original posted June 2011

[trisha11]

Gurls,
It was back in June of 2011 that I made a post about my up coming battle with my exwife for more parenting time, and how I knew she would bring out my past and crossdressing. As I expected she brought all her emails, pictures, etc to the Friend of the Court investigator to review, as we both sat there in front of this person either of us had ever met she made my crossdressing center and the focal point of how she did not want me to have more parenting time with our son. The investigator listened, suggested that I seek out a professional therapist for support and someone to talk to about my crossdressing. I did as the court advised and even though I originally did so to appease the court my therapist has been a tremendous help. I am so glad that this has happened.

I am also very happy to report that the investigator has found me to be a fit and sound parent, who is responsible enough to know that my crossdressing is not something that I share with my son at this time. I take many precautions to protect him at this point from finding out his father dresses like a woman and likes to wear womans panties. The investigator granted me 50/50 parenting time and even commented on how brave and courageous i was to fight for my sons time even though I knew my exwife was going to make my crossdressing which has always been a taboo topic for me an issue.

I just want you gurls to know that there are some good open minded people out there and that some truly do look out for the best interest of the child, i was worried and very concerned at first but it has been such a relief to know that 1. my ex can not hold this over my head anymore, 2. my son loves me no matter what and wants equal time with me, 3. i have a supportive gf that has helped me deal with my crossdressing and has been so very supportive and strong through all of this 4. there are people that realize that just because you like to wear womans clothes, wear panties, dress as a female, even act like a female that you have the parental right of equal time. So gurls be strong, if you believe you deserve equal time, fight, fight fight for it. I am so glad i did.
Trisha

[marlaNYC]

this. is. fantastic. i'm so happy for you and your determination not to give up! if i may, can i ask the age of your son?

my ex tried to do pretty much the same thing - gouge me in the 2 places she knew would hurt most, by attempting to limit my access to my kid and by trying to take 80% of my income. and she had a lawyer (male) who completely supported her in that, who hated 'my type'. then that lawyer had to disappear and the new one (female) sorted out a fair and amicable agreement that proves your points 1, 2 and 4.

your news is magnificent. enjoy your son and the future real-ationship [sic].

[Katie Moore]

There are fairminded people in the world. Most professional people I know really do try to do the "right thing". However , that being said, there are still oodles of people with prejudices who can't separate the lines.

[Sara Jessica]

What an absolutely uplifting story Trisha. I am so very happy for you!!!

[bridget thronton]

I am very happy for you

[Valerie1973]

I remember, I'm glad it worked out for you.

[kimdl93]

Congratulations. I admire your courage in facing this issue directly and resolving the divorce in a manner that protects your child's interests.

[jackielou]

i understand and am glad things worked out for you my x wife did me the same way using my breast and bra wearing as a weapon in our divorce and also the one time i dressed for her in our home in private but i did not comee out as lucky as you

[Cynthia Anne]

And that's the way it should be! I am sure there are many parents here that can benefit from your uplifting and inspiring story! Thank you for sharing it! Hugs because you deserve it!

[DanaM64]

Way to go and congratulations on your custody battle... I know a lot of people that don't have "our" closets that end up with less...
So major Kudos for standing your ground high-heels and all!

I only hope she will let things be as they are and leave you and your son to enjoy each others company!

(to Marla, curious why the male lawyer had to disappear??)

(to Jackielou: so sorry it didn't work out for you, but keep trying!)

[marlaNYC]

(to Marla, curious why the male lawyer had to disappear??)

Dana, briefly (as i don't want to highjack Trisha's wonderful news) he started adding stuff into the agreement without ex's approval and she finally had enough of his hate.

[StacyChambers]

While it's a shame you had to go through all that, I'm glad the outcome was good for you.

[trisha11]

Marla,
my son is 7 and he expressed to the friend of the court that he wanted equal time with both me and his mom. good luck sweetie and let me know how it turns out
trisha

this. is. fantastic. i'm so happy for you and your determination not to give up! if i may, can i ask the age of your son?

my ex tried to do pretty much the same thing - gouge me in the 2 places she knew would hurt most, by attempting to limit my access to my kid and by trying to take 80% of my income. and she had a lawyer (male) who completely supported her in that, who hated 'my type'. then that lawyer had to disappear and the new one (female) sorted out a fair and amicable agreement that proves your points 1, 2 and 4.

your news is magnificent. enjoy your son and the future real-ationship [sic].

[trisha11]

What an absolutely uplifting story Trisha. I am so very happy for you!!!

Thank you very much Sara
trisha

[trisha11]

And that's the way it should be! I am sure there are many parents here that can benefit from your uplifting and inspiTring story! Thank you for sharing it! Hugs because you deserve it!

Thank you Cynthia Anne,
I hope it was inspiring and i hope that many of you gurls in the same position as me have the same result that I have had
trisha

[Toni Citara]

This is exactly why men that crossdress feel the need to keep that part of their life away from most others, including girlfriends, wives, co-workers, etc. Whenever somebody gets angry, irrationally explosive, pissed at the world, wanting revenge, or some manner in which to hurt the other person - the first thing they do is bring up A) the person's sexual likes; B) the person being a crossdresser; C) some other "secret" that was entrusted.

I'm glad things are working out better for you at this time, but it must have been harder than hell to deal with all of the crap.

(snip)...up coming battle with my exwife for more parenting time, and how I knew she would bring out my past and crossdressing.... she brought all her emails, pictures, etc... the focal point of how she did not want me to have more parenting time...

[AndreaCD1963]

Gurls,
I am also very happy to report that the investigator has found me to be a fit and sound parent, who is responsible enough to know that my crossdressing is not something that I share with my son at this time. I take many precautions to protect him at this point from finding out his father dresses like a woman and likes to wear womans panties. The investigator granted me 50/50 parenting time and even commented on how brave and courageous i was to fight for my sons time even though I knew my exwife was going to make my crossdressing which has always been a taboo topic for me an issue.

Trisha

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Where's the "LIKE" button?? Oh yeah, that's on that "other" site :-)

[Wendy_Marie]

trish,
My job centers around children who are in Foster care or State Custody and as such I am in and out of homes all over the State of Missouri..even at times supervising visits between these children and the parents...I have a couple of parents who are openly Transsexual...several parents who are openly gay as well as several Foster Homes with two Mom's or two dad's as the cases may be.....My states view seems to indicate that a good parent is a good parent and the manner in which you dress or your sexuality isn't a factor unless it is detrimental to the childs development...I am happy that you were able to obtain court ordered shared custody and hope that this is the ernd of your legal woes dealing with an obviously hostile ex-wife....

[victoriamwilliams1]

That is good to hear a positive result from the FOC!

Things today are not as bad for us as TG/CD as we think, the main reason is we are out more in public and presenting a positive image. I think spouses and a few others are thinking that we are trying to in doctrine people into a lifestyle choice that many are trying to figure out why they do it themselves! Myself included! What is more interesting they sent you to get counseling which in its self made things even better for you so in the end you have the win, win

[vetobob9]

Does this mean you are not allowed to crossdress when your son is around? Or you lose him?

I find this highly disturbing.

Whether any person crossdresses has no bearing on their ability to be a parent. I do not believe that wearing dresses around your kid will cause any irreparable harm to him.

Dana, briefly (as i don't want to highjack Trisha's wonderful news) he started adding stuff into the agreement without ex's approval and she finally had enough of his hate.

and neither of you filed a complaint with the bar? this would be enough to get him banned from practicing law.

[Vanessa5]

Thank you Trisha for your story. I unfortunatly had a bad lawer when I pushed for custody of my daughter. This story lifted my spirits.