Dressing so you can enjoy the clothes

[Kathy4ever]

I dress because I like the material. In the beginning it might of started as a sexual arousal. Thank god I'm over that stage. I did not like getting turned on by my better self. I thought that was creepy or embarassing even though at the time it felt good. I just plain like the materal,colors, accesories,make up, especially the choices of shoes woman have. Mens cloths are just boring. Over the past few years I've noticed more colored shirts for men but pants colors are still the same in choices of black, grey, dark blue. Same can be said of mens shoes. Boring, Boring, Ugly, Ugly. Give me me a skirt and nice top and heels any day.

[Raychel]

Sure way back when I started crossdressing it was totaly a sexual thing. But now as I am older and hopefully a bit wiser, I dress purely because I like the feeling of fine womens clothes. I mean, Have you ever put on a nice silky dress. What is not to love about that.

[Rachel Lea]

How many here just love the clothes and styles, and would like the freedom to wear such without dealing with social repercussions?

I love the clothes and styles, but they also are a fetish. I would like to have been born a
girl so that I would not have had to deal with the social repercussions. I believe some of the clothes are a fetish for real girls but it's just not commonly perceived that way.

[Jilmac]

I can totally agree with you Pythos, I too, love the feel and look of feminine attire but have no desire to actually be a woman. That said, I believe the term "fetish" is derogatory when used to describe the pure pleasure derived from the clothes we choose to wear.

[Pythos]

women who want to look specifically sexy, mostly do this for men, just like the CDers who want to walk down the street in beautiful dresses because they wish to turn men's heads:

This is stated as if it is fact.

Well in my case it is NOT. I do not dress the way I do to turn mens heads. I dress for me, as well as to turn EVERYONE's heads, male or female. I also dress to attract the attention of an open minded female that may find my appearance intriguing.

I also do not think CDs in general dress "sexy" just to attract men. I think they just like the clothes, and the feelings associated.

[TGMarla]

I also do not really have much in the way of a desire to turn men's heads. However, I openly admit that when I'm all decked out to the nines, I turn my head, and it stands to reason that my look would attract the attention of other men. This to me is only an unwanted element of my feminine experience, since I'm dressing only to please myself. I do not walk down the street in beautiful dresses because I want to turn men's heads. I do so because I love wearing those beautiful dresses, and I love looking like I do when I'm wearing them. I love the way I feel when I'm presenting this way. But it comes as no surprise to me that it would attract male attention.

[jenna_woods]

my self I like all women's thiongs and like being a women as much as I can

[Frédérique]

Is it a fetish? If it is a fetish, is there necessarily a bad thing being done? My understanding of fetish is it is a sexual attraction to an inanimate object, that MAKES IT NECESSARY for that object to be around in order to have sexual relations. (something along those lines). I for one like the feel of the clothes first, and the appearance of the styles second. I have next to no want of being a female. What is your take on this perception that in my book too many people have.

[SIZE="2"]Last year I wrote the following…

Fetish: This is any object, animate or inanimate, regarded with a feeling of awe, as if it has magical powers. If you give excessive devotion or blind adoration to this venerated object, you are a practicing fetishist. Fetish can also mean any nonsexual object that excites erotic feelings, which leads to fetishism. We MtF cossdressers discuss our many fetishes all the time, be they nylons, panties, dresses, heels, or whatnot. Personally, I worship my skirts, and I believe they have magical powers. This comes from a lifetime of having to wear pants! It’s always a pleasure to wear one’s fetish and feel transformed. Of course, I think it’s all in the mind, exactly the place that needs healing and comforting the most...

Sexual attraction to an inanimate object is only one way of defining “fetish.” Once again, we are dealing with lazy connotations accepted by society, to put a label on something one does not wish to understand, or does not wish to deal with, or does not FEEL to begin with. It’s easy to call a penchant a “fetish” and place the crossdresser on the pile of perversion, along with all other types of human behavior that exist only in the realm of the senses. The pot cannot call the kettle pink, because the “pot” doesn’t understand the reasoning behind it…

Since you prefer leggings, and you write about them incessantly, I would say they ARE a fetish, but not the kind of fetish outsiders talk about. Do you believe that your leggings have magical powers? Do you worship them? Is it impossible for you to live without them? I think a love of inanimate objects, in this case female clothing, fuels the desire to wear the venerated garments and acheive a kind of euphoria, akin to drug use. Labeling this blessed state merely a result of fetishistic behavior does a disservice, weakening the crossdresser’s resolve and forever marking the purveyor of ignorance as a drab, insensitive bigot…
[/SIZE]

[Pythos]

Actually Frederique I do love to wear leggings, but they hold no magical powers, or anything like that, and to be honest if I could more freely work in my skirts and dresses into my daily wear, leggings would not have as big a part in my wardrobe as they do. But, you see, leggings are more accepted on males, than skirts or dresses in "normal" society. So, I am limited to my leggings usually.

That is most likely why I seem to "incessantly" write about them, though if you look in my pics I have posted here, they do are not what I show off. I show off my dresses, skirts, and ocasional a legginged "fem" outfit.

I just find them more comfortable than jeans (which everyone seems to wear), and I like their look.

If, I have a fetish because of this, then so does every woman that wears jeans everyday. :P

I would not like to live without them as an option, but then again I would not want to be limited to DRAB styles either. I like what I like.

I fully agree with your closing line too. It is a tremendous diservice to lable a defined preference a "fetish". I could have sexual relations with a female, without leggings, but I would prefer wearing that which I like ( that is until she takes the item off. LOL)

[Babeba]

We can thank a man by the name of John Stuart Mill for the agonizing and depressing lack of variety in our modern men's fashions today. He was the purveyor of Utilitarianism, a doctrine of stark recititude and bland conformity, lacking variety in fashions in favor of the black coat and tie. If it served no more function than to clothe oneself, it was considered frivolous.

Funny, I always thought it was Beau Brummel who really got things going in the direction of all men's fashion being similar. He was emulated for having great style.

[Pythos]

They are both chumps. LOL

[Princess Chantal]

During my "dressing down to blend" stage of my crossdressing life, I wasn't enjoying the time. I wouldn't say that I wasn't happy, just the fact that I would have enjoyed the time and experiences more if I were to dress in my preferred clothing rather than the clothing in which I assumed would be more accepted by my peers and the general public. It's easier and more enjoyable to satisfy yourself than to satisify others.

[DebbieL]

Many people, both men and women, find certain clothing "sexy" or arousing. When women go "clubbing", with the intent of just having a really good time and maybe getting laid, they wear the fun clothing that makes them feel sexy. They might be turned on by leather, latex, satin, or lace. They might be turned on by hosiery of specific types (stockings vs panty-hose, black vs nude...). I've even dated women who loved it that I didn't want them to "strip" and enjoyed spending time and seducing them while they were still dressed.

What makes it different for men is that woman wear their other "normal" clothes as appropriate for the rest of their lives. They might wear the short shorts - because it's hot, or the leggings and boots, because it's cold. They might wear jeans so they can wear thermal underwear underneath. They can wear the pants-suit to work, and the sweatshirt and jeans and dirty sneakers to go shopping at Walmart.

When men get dressed up, we are overcoming years, even decades, of repression, of being forced NOT to wear such things. We want to look as much like women as we can, we want to be beautiful, or at least pretty, and we want to wear all that stuff we were never ALLOWED to wear as men.

Wearing clothes that we feel would make a woman look beautiful, that would make her look sexy, sensual, and desirable, would naturally tend to make us feel sexy and beautiful when we wear it. Since we are wearing the "sexy clothes" it's not such a big shock that we would be aroused by wearing these items. Of course, those first excursions into dressing up are often very private, and we don't want anybody else to know. We often wear the clothing of our mothers, the stuff she wore to church, or to a party. Or we wear the clothing our older sister would have worn to church, or to a date, or to a party. How many stories have you heard where the dressing started with wearing mom's tattered old house-dress and terry-cloth robe that she washed once a week?

The "fetish" kicks in because we have to sneak, steal, and hide our dressing up, and at the same time, we get sexually aroused by the experience, which intensifies the shame and guilt, but also intensifies the desire.

Transsexuals who have to live 24/7 as a woman quickly learn that they have to dress "situation appropriate". This may mean wearing the long jeans and flats and keeping the make-up light and natural looking. This also makes it easier to "pass" because they don't attract the extra attention that would make men, women, and children look much more closely and spot the little "tells". As they get more experience doing it every day, they tend to blend in and seem even a bit "plain". You would have a hard time telling the difference between an experienced transsexual and a housewife. She might even add a few extra pounds, since she doesn't have to always be the hottest looking "chick" in the place anymore. This is one of the reasons why the Benjemin protocol requires that you live 24/7 as a woman before doing the irreversible parts of the M2F change process.

There is nothing "wrong" with a fetish, unless it reaches the point where you create a destructive situation. For example, if you reach teh point where you can't tell your wife, so you have to go to prostitutes to enjoy your fetish, that could be a problem. If there is one thing that is more important than anything else, it's being honest with your partner. If you are in a committed relationship and you've kept it a secret for years, that can be a real issue, but it can be managed. It's important to share the factors that made you afraid to share your secret as well as your fear of losing her.

Ideally, you want to be as honest as you possibly can as early as you possibly can. I finally reached the point where I put pictures of myself in a dress on my Match.com profile. Lots of women saw that and moved on, but there were a few that were VERY interested. One was terrific and we ended up getting married. Ironically, we haven't had boy-girl sex since about 2 months into our dating. We have found things that we both enjoy so much more, and since I'm more than happy to do the things she loves, she loves doing the things that I love.

Keep in mind that when you tell her, she may have something completely unrelated to sex that she wants from you. She might want you to do the laundry, or be the maid, or take her dancing, or take her shopping with you. Be ready to do what she wants from use as long as it's not illegal, unethical, or harmful to others in any way. She will quickly realize how important this is to you, and will want you to do the things that are most important to her.

The good thing, at least for me, was that once my partners knew about my being transgendered, they realized that when I was checking out the girl in the short dress, I was actually checking out the DRESS, and maybe the shoes, and perhaps even checking for stockings. Wondering where she got it, if they have it in my size, and if I would look as good as she does, and where I might want to go dressed like that. Sometimes, they would even spot an outfit they know I'd like, and have me take a peek.

[SweetIonis]

What is inherently feminine about long hair? If men were indeed meant to wear short hair, would their hair not fall out after reaching a predetermined length? Much like a short haired cat, or dog?

What is inherently feminine about makeup?

My look in fem/androg mode is only feminine because I use many items that in our culture are feminine.

If a female, is not a fan of the "girly" look, and therefore takes a look that is more masculine, does that mean she wants to be male?

Because we are not omniscient, it is difficult to understand what is in someone's mind. However it is not impossible. The way to do that is to observe external behavior. By observing a person's behavior over a sufficient length of time, it is possible to get a pretty good understanding of what is in the person's mind, if you know what to look for. There is nothing inherently masculine or feminine about any inanimate object. It is the usage of the object in a particular context that has the potential to make it become associated with masculine or feminine activity. I would say that, IN GENERAL, that the exhibition of behavior involving a high level of usage of objects that are associated with feminine activity, is an indication of some sort of desire to be female, particularly if it is accompanied by a high level of denial, or denunciation of the usage of such objects in such a fashion. But to make an exact judgement, would require evaluation of the person on an individual level.

[sandcastle]

Yes, for me it is mainly a love of the clothes and styles, and it would be great if there was real freedom to wear such without any social repercussions.

I strongly suspect it started for me from my experimenting with the forbidden/disapproved. As a teenager I relished the few times I was able to have longer hair. Playing around with this at home, you wonder what a skirt is like on, then you think this should go with tights, then it looks silly without a blouse, and that doesn't look right without underwear and then it's shoes and then make-up and jewelry. Next you're wishing it didn't have to be in secret.

And the only way you think you'ld get away without mockery, social death or being beaten-up, is if you do it so well that no one suspects you're really male.

And thus because you rarely get to do it, turns into a forbidden fruit that spends too much time on your mind as you plan how you can get away with what is really a fairly mild activity.

Sandra

[janeyb]

i dress in female clothes as i love the feel of the material, there are so many options available, they have better cut in pants, i love feeling girly, i love the feel of heels

[BlondeFarrah]

Fetish, smetish! I don't know and don't care!

All I know is; EVERYTHING about dressing and appearing female TURNS ME ON!

OK. Me too. Since I was a teen, I was crazy for high heels, boots, skirts, furs, women's hats, opera gloves, make up etc. Everything relationed with "female - women - ladylike" is associated in my brain with sex and pleasures. Everything which is totally different with male's world.

Of course, "male" and "female" are social constructions. But they work for me

[prettytoes]

I simply love the clothes. I feel much more comfortable in a mini skirt than any shorts (I do like the tight women's workout shorts I wear to lounge in). Much more airflow to the boys. I like the way a sport bra feels while I'm riding my bike or working out. I love the feel of satin panties sliding under my clothes, and I like the way bikini panties fit me. I also like all the pretty patterns and colors they come in. I sleep so much better in a cami and shorts set, or a strappy nightie than any male pajamas. I love painting my toenails and looking down and seeing a pretty color, and the feel of a cute little toering. I have never had a pair of sweat pants that are as comfortable as snug, stretchy yoga pants. I like the way mascara makes my eyelashes look.
It just feels "right" to me when I am dressed in women's clothes. I feel comfortable, relaxed, and at ease. I have no desire to become a woman, and I certainly would never fool anyone with my build (the mustache is also pretty much a game ender). I am only attracted to women (one in particular...my wife), and I love being a man. I'm not sure what the term is for this, but it makes me happy and that's what matters!