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Thread: How girly is your SO

  1. #1
    Member joanna marie's Avatar
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    How girly is your SO

    I was wondering if there is a relationship between how girly your SO is their acceptance of you.

    I've noticed that some of you with accepting SOs talk about sharing clothes,earrings and other items. And you enjoy going out as girlfiends.

    My Wife has not been accepting or understanding since she found out.We've been together for 40 years and she has never been what you would call girly.And has never really seemed to enjoy being female. She is not into clothes,shoes lace,or any of the sterotypical GG stuff. Nor does she have close girlfriends.She is the only girl in her family and was rasied with 3 brothers and a very girly mother.

    I can't remember the last time I saw her in a dress.I wonder if this is part of the reason that she can't understand why a Male would want to enjoy all joys of the Fem world.

    So I ask those of you with an accepting SO, How girly is your SO or any of the GGs that accept your crossdressing?

    Do you think that there is a relationship between the two.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
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    That is really interesting. My wife is very supportive, loves to wear a dress and is just as keen on pretty clothes as i am.

    Another Cross Dresser I know said the same thing as you did about his wife. She was not girly at all and hated his dressing. He called it the white, cotton, panty syndrome.

    Kitty

  3. #3
    Member lynn_lynn's Avatar
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    recently separated from my SO. I cant figure her problems out, and not very lady like is she anyways.. drab drab drab. or as I like to put it .. slob slob slob.
    Eyes alight with glowing hair
    all that fancy paints as fair
    she takes her fan and throws it
    in the lion's den..

  4. #4
    Member joanna marie's Avatar
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    My wife has aslo told me that she never liked playing with dolls or playing dressup as a child

    This thread may be a useful tool for those of you looking for an accepting Spouse or girlfriend in the future
    Instead of dating a future X-wife

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Hmm, I find "girly" a bit hard to define. My accepting wife likes comfort but can be very feminine when it is appropriate. For the purposes of this post I'll define "girly" as "preferring to wear overtly feminine clothing and makeup"

    My feeling is that there is little correlation between girliness and acceptance. Acceptance is more related to the SO's investment in the relationship and I've seen devoted SOs that range from plain to overtly feminine.

    You might find a correlation between girliness and participation (actively helping the CDer with clothes and makeup) simply because the "girly" SO possesses the skills to participate in that way.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member SarahLynn's Avatar
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    Strange but the more I move into the fem side my SO moves away from hers. I wear skirts and blouses because i don't (and never have) worn dresses. Wiffy has gotten rid of all her skirts and now only wears pants. She no longer wears nylon underwear (except for bras), has no pantyhose (tights), and seldom wears jewelry.

    SarahLynn
    Great leaders are not great because of their words or deeds but because of the greatness they inspire from others."
    (Legends of the StarDancer)

  7. #7
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    My wife is fairly girly, but she will tell you that she wasn't always as girly as she is now. She says that being married to me and helping me develop my feminine side has influenced her to do and enjoy more girly things than she ever used to do.
    .
    The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!

  8. #8
    Shoes, a woman's passion! debbeelee1's Avatar
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    My wife is very supportive and she's fairly girly as well. She tends to want me to dress more mainstream while I prefer to dress more wild and crazy.
    Hugs and kisses,
    Debbee!

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Danni Renee's Avatar
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    I think there might be something to your theory. I started a similar thread when I first joined with the position that I felt my SO was very supportive of me because she was very girly and therefore not threatened by my dressing. This opinion was not supported by others on the forum but I am not certain there is not something to it. When I came out to my ex-wife recently, she was somewhat accepting. But she also has turned it up a notch, so to speak, on her own femininity. She is always trying to dress nicer around me now and getting her hair done and nails done etc. like she wants to show me she is super girly. I attribute this change to me challenging her feminine side. I do believe that the relationship between two people plays a major part in who is accepted and who is not but I also believe there is a lot more to it than that.

    Danni
    I'M FREE, I'M FREE! I GET TO BE ME!

  10. #10
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    My wife is accepting and understanding, but chooses not to participate. We have arrived at an acceptable and working agreement. That said, my wife is a very attractive woman for her age, but not at all girly. It is not her style.

  11. #11
    New Member PyrateSilly's Avatar
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    I am the SO of Sherina. I can tell you that she has always been more "girly" than more. We joke around that she is "worse than a girl" when it comes to shopping, clothes, make-up etc.
    Would she like me to be a little more "girly"? Probably and I only wear pink at times cause I know that she likes to see me in it. I will also wear more girly things places that I know that she can not so that in a way she can sorta feel it thru me (does that make sense?). Not many know that she CDs.
    Have I stopped being girly? Nope. Do I feel the need to compete? Nope. We are separate people and as such we will always have different tastes in what we wear. That is normal.
    I have to actually stop myself at times when talking about stuff like this or anything about people being different and remember that not everyone is as accepting as me and that things that don't matter to me does matter to others. We have tried to teach both the boys "treat others how you want to be treated". We will do anything for anyone, if they need help we will try our hardest to help if we can or try to point people in the right direction for help and we have tried to instill that in them also.

  12. #12
    Just a little mouse. Babette's Avatar
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    The true symbol of my wife's support is seen in all of my outfits and presentation. When it comes to fashion sense, there is none better than her. I am hopelessly lost without her assistance. Girly does not describe her at all. She is a lady through and through.

    Babette
    Someone else's imagination is a terrible thing to waste.

  13. #13
    John JohannaH's Avatar
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    My wife never wears dresses or skirts. However, I wear them all the time. She accepts my wearing those items of clothing. She has told me that if one of us has to wear a dress or a skirt, it will be me.

    Johanna
    John - Please use my legal name John. I also prefer masculine pronouns referring to myself.
    Been on M2F HRT for over 8 years
    Don't mind if I am addressed as Sir or Ma'am as long as I am treated with respect.
    Just don't call me "Maggot".

  14. #14
    Catastro-fem
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    My wife is supportive and is VERY girly, and has been since I've known her, which is for quite some time before we ever even dated. We been married for 6 years now, and she is ALWAYS very lady-like even when she's not in a dress. It's just the way she is (and the way I like it!). She has slightly different tastes in clothes than I do, however, she has picked up very quickly on what I like. In drab, I'm conservative, and I tend to go the same direction en femme.

    After our initial conversation regarding my history of CD-ing, she told me that several things now made sense, most of them to do with color choices, styles I liked her in and so forth. She recognized my feminine side for what it really was at that point.

    Never in the time I've known her as my GF first, then my wife, has she ever been any thing other than girly. And I love it!

    I am Erica 2
    I am Erica2

  15. #15
    Junior Member Raychel Torn's Avatar
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    My wife is very supportive and very girly, but has not always been so. She loves to shop with me and I dress in what she thinks is sexy. We both have fun with it. My first wife was not girly at all and not supportive at all.
    Raychel

  16. #16
    Former Member
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    My wife rarely wears dresses, skirts and makeup. Is she girly? I think she is even though she doesn't wear clothing that most of us would consider "girly". She is a naturally beautiful woman who is comfortable with herself. She'll dress up and wear makeup when she needs to, but normally she prefers to be comfortable. We joke with each other about how screwed up we are. I like makeup, skirts and heels. She likes jeans and tennis shoes.

  17. #17
    Member larry07's Avatar
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    My wife is a jeans and t-shirt type of gal. She rarely wears a dress, doesn't own a skirt or any heels and never wears makeup. She likes sports (participating, not watching). She is, however, every inch a woman. Clothes and outward appearance don't define her gender any more than they do mine. We have a great deal in common and love each dearly and are best friends. She is very accepting of my CDing. Any limits that I have are mine, not hers.

  18. #18
    New Member gigififi's Avatar
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    i my self never have been very girly i have been more on the tom boy side , my s/o for being a cd is not really to feminine but dresses way more girly than me i was never the type to wear heels but since i have been more accepted of his c/d i find my self dressing up more and even starting to wear heels

  19. #19
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    What a load of

    Acceptance has got nothing to do with how "Girly Girly" a female is, it has got everything to do with trust. Who can define such a broad statement as "Girly Girly", it could only be a MAN who defines a female in such a way.

    Acceptance is part of the relationship that is forged between two people who do not hide things from each other, and no this is not a rant or dig at those who haven't told.

    If your SO knows about your alter ego early on in the relationship, that alter ego does not affect the relationship and the feelings of the SO are taken into consideration, then IMHO the SO is more than likely to accept the alter ego of their partner.
    Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said

    The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another

  20. #20
    Member Joanna41's Avatar
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    As many of you know who have followed any of my posts and seen my pictures, I have one of the most supportive SO's on this forum and she is very "girly" She loves to wear dress's, different shoes and sandals. She likes to try her makeup different ways, her hair different ways. She likes my opinion on what she tries. So with her being the way she is on herself, Hope really enjoys dressing up Joanna in all the ways she likes to be "girly" With that all said I am so very happy and blessed to have such a wonderful lady wrapped into my soul.

    Joanna
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Be who you are...not who you think I want you to be

  21. #21
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    My wife is pretty much a Tom-boy. While she did wear dresses and skirts from time to time 20 years ago, it was never something that she terribly enjoyed, and she hasn't worn one now in at least 17 years. I have often wondered if I am to blame for that? Maybe she figures that it isn't worth it to"compete" with her own husband. . .

  22. #22
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    I've got to agree with Nigella on this one, my wife has not worn a skirt, or dress in more years than I care to remember, and make up is only when needed to go out in public. Her blouses look more like a mans shirt than a womens, and she never wears heels. I've never worn my hair anywhere near as short as she does. And I'm the only one around here wearing nylon undies. This is the kind of woman that accepted me for what I am, and took me shopping to dress me, the very same day I told her the truth about myself, after 5 years of marriage. She may find it strange, that anyone, male or female, would like to dress up, wear a bra, when you don't have to, or bother with make up just for fun, but that does not stop her from encouraging me to live my life the way I do, and enjoy my feminine side. She is also terrible to go shopping with, I'll find something I like, and want to buy it, and when she is done, I have 4 or five new outfits, instead of the one blouse I was looking at, she is the type that will find all kinds of things that would look good with it. But I suffer thought it all, and say thanks, and wear it all happily.
    It doesn't matter to us that I'm girly, and she is not, because we both love the other for just what they are to us!
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  23. #23
    Living Dead Girl Schatten Lupus's Avatar
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    Mine isn't very girly. But even is she was a very girly person, she would still have had the same background that lead to her being as accepting and encouraging as she is. And I agree that being girly has nothing to do with it. Being girly and being hateful or intolerant are separate learned behaviors.
    Gott weiƟ ich will kein Engel sein

  24. #24
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    How can you define girly? I'll bet most of us would define it differently.

    My wife is an extremely supportive spouse who participates. She generally doesn't wear skirts and dresses. She doesn't wear make-up. Those are things that many here tend to think of when they think of girly. But she likes to be comfortable. She loves animals and loves to cuddle with our pets. She takes the soft side on all issues. She is emotional. She is caring. She loves pretty things. She can roll-up her sleeves and get it done when it is necessary. She can be tough when she has to. And she is always there for her family.

    I don't know about everyone else, but I will say that I can never be as girly as her.

  25. #25
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sue View Post
    How can you define girly? I'll bet most of us would define it differently.

    My wife is an extremely supportive spouse who participates. She generally doesn't wear skirts and dresses. She doesn't wear make-up. Those are things that many here tend to think of when they think of girly. But she likes to be comfortable. She loves animals and loves to cuddle with our pets. She takes the soft side on all issues. She is emotional. She is caring. She loves pretty things. She can roll-up her sleeves and get it done when it is necessary. She can be tough when she has to. And she is always there for her family.

    I don't know about everyone else, but I will say that I can never be as girly as her.

    Awesome post, and lucky lucky you to have found someone like her!

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