I was planning on working in the yard today and dressed appropriately; forest green sweats, a white spring lake 5 (a foot race) tee shirt, a flannel with fall colors, a gray sweat jacket with grumpy on it and hair in a ponytail. There was nothing feminine about my clothes what so ever.
Before I started I took a drive to Home Depot (a DIY warehouse) to get some items I will need for the yard.
I was pushing my cart working on my list. I picked up the fertilizer for the yard, a 5 gallon red gas can, and some batteries. I continued looking around for my other items. I must have looked lost as one of the attendants asks “do you need help mam?”
Now, first there is the pure joy of being called mam even when I was presenting as least fem as I could. That’s the second time that happened to me this month. And I also got a compliment at the gym from a couple of guys. Okay, so they were seniors and disabled, but it still counts.
Well, so back to the attendants question. After reviewing my terminator like list of responses, I chose to just ask in a quiet fem voice where the fire extinguishers and ropes were. He hesitated for a minute glancing around and gave me an odd look and then told me where to go.
I went off pushing my cart to get the rest of my things with a new smile and strut at being called mam while under these conditions.
Then my smile turn into a vocal laugh as I just realized that the odd look may not have been him questioning my gender but at the contents of my cart and the items I asked for. I suppose it is not every day someone comes in and buys fertilizer, a gas can, batteries, rope and a fire extinguisher.
Fortunately my name is not on any terrorist watch lists, but I did use a credit card, maybe the purchases will be flagged by the FBI
Doubtful as the quantity would not be enough to build an explosive but how funny would that be. I once worked with a guy who had such a visit because he bought a ton of corn. Well maybe not a ton, but more than most people would. He uses it as feed for all the deer as he lives on several acres. In good old customary fashion I asked if I could come over with my bow. Not practical however as he lived several states away.
Anyway, I believe it was actually the ABC that gave him a visit and wanted to know what he was using it for. They asked if they could look around the property to see if he had a still.
Well, I said enough. My yard work is done, time to clean up and get pretty. Hmmm, I wonder if I do if I’ll get sir’ed
