We have all seen the fantasy threads. I want to be treated as a woman, or I fantasize about having sex with another man.. when I am en femme. The members get it, but lest we forget that "guests" have access to viewing the threads here in the m2f cross dressing section. Are these fantasy threads helping to promote the stereotypical way that the gp views cross dressers?I am not suggesting that these fantasy threads NOT be posted, just a thought with regards to their repercussions.
Kel
Kelly, you are at the top of the heap here.
You, of all people, should know that there is something going on way beyond the fantasy level here, that there is a sense who you are in your own core self.
I'm happy being me. I'm honest to myself, and my friends. Transition is not an option for me , and yet I have many friends who are on that path. Some have completed the journey. they are the coolest and best friends....they're just not me.
Last edited by NathalieX66; 09-05-2011 at 04:55 PM.
Please re-read what I said.. As a member I get it, as do other members. I was saying that besides "us members" that "John Q public" ( who may not "get it") also has access to some of the sections. This has nothing to do with ts vs cd. But, more about how someone who isn't in the know may perceive these fantasy threads. You seem a bit offended. I wasn't singling out cross dressers, I was asking the question OF cross dressers in THE cross dresser section.Originally Posted by NathalieX66
Last edited by kellycan27; 09-05-2011 at 06:10 PM.
If someone is so myopic as to see those types of threads -- as few and far-between as they are -- and miss the plethora of discussions that take place on myriad other subjects, then they probably came here with an agenda and didn't particularly seek to be enlightened in the first place.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
Oscar Wilde
Kel, I do see you point. The moderators watch I would guess to make sure the post don't shift too far to a sexual side. It would be a shame if it did. Still, I sure would not like a forum that was cut and pasted like a censored, war time letter.
Kitty
LOL.. Iv'e been at this for quite a while and in my trappings I have come across a lot of men and their attitudes. Knowing men as I do, I don't think that many "male guests" visit sites like this out of their desire to be "enlightened". hahahahahahahhahahaha. Few and far between? You might want to catch up on your reading here.
Kittyagain
I actually said that i wasn't suggesting that these type thread not be allowed. I simply suggested that they may give some people the wrong impression... Thus promoting the stereotype.
Last edited by kellycan27; 09-05-2011 at 05:39 PM.
Maybe I'm overthinking this, but there are several sites where "admirers" can see far more than is allowed here.
Q to the mods: Can unregistered guests even see attachments?
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
Oscar Wilde
I do believe those who judge will have just more ammunition to use by some posts. I do also believe that some partners of cds may feel nervous about some posts as well. We are a varied group here so all posts may not apply to all. However that does not mean that some posts may cause others to view our group negatively. I guess I dont see any easy answer unless censorship, such as not allowing people to view posts unless a member.
No need to ask the mods.. just sign out and re-enter as a guest and you will find that they CAN access this section. Or look at the bottom of the thread and it will tell you how many members or "guests" are currently viewing it.
Last edited by kellycan27; 09-05-2011 at 06:00 PM.
This is coming from your resident Fetish kid.
Yes. Simply put the threads such as the ones you describe give a false impression about our community as a whole. It leaves the public armed with enough information to draw a creepy conclusion as to what crossdressers are all about.
These type of threads should be posted in the private GM section. So that way there is some investment from the GP to learn more without being fed information about sexuality among our General Boards.
There are many issues that involve Crossdressing and Transgendered that could serve to educate the public more properly.
The average person who stumbles upon this site looking to understand someone they know who is going thru the phases of TG life could be given the wrong impression from the threads they read on the main boards.
Great Topic Kelly,
-Donni-
PS: from the time i posted this: there were 30 members and 160 UNREGISTERED GUESTS
Last edited by DonniDarkness; 09-05-2011 at 06:19 PM.
I agree, but my question was "could these type threads" perpetuate the stereotype to the outside observer?
Last edited by kellycan27; 09-05-2011 at 06:20 PM.
I think that each and every person perceives what they will perceive based on how much they know, understand, how sensitive they are, how flexible they are in learning new ideas, etc. I do not think that some of these threads paint a negative picture, in general. Some people may go away with a partial view of who we are, which may be incorrectly negative. In my opinion, that is their problem and they will be in the minority of those that come here and read more than just a few juicy threads. Staying around will expose them to a lot of things that overall will clarify that we are a broad spectrum of people with different tastes and ideas. If we want people to know more about us, why limit what they can see, which could be interpreted in a way as lying/fooling to them about the complete picture. They need to be 18 to be here, whether lying about their age or not. They need to see what is available now to the general public. So, I say leave it as it is. From the site's owner's perspective, I think that they want to let people, visitors, see a lot of the site to encourage them to get a better feel for it and us, and to boost membership if they decide to join. I am not sure if pure visit count by members and non-members is also important to them for any advertising revenue that they generate. When I first joined here I felt that all posts should be members only viewing, but as we know that is not the case. I learned to live with it, so can everyone else. I don't like a lot of censorship when some here says dress this way, act that way.
I have said this since I first came here. Many people will say that after you come out to someone (especially a spouse), that you should send them here to learn. I say that you should not do it without discussion ahead of time that frames how you feel and what they may encounter here. While I welcome all kinds of talk (I have learned a lot here), a frightened spouse/girlfriend coming here will likely assume that everything they read will be true about their partner.
So let's look at the first couple of pages in this forum and see what we are talking about the last couple of days and if you would want these to be the first things you want your wife/girlfriend to read after you came out to her and she is likely scared.
1. I love and like woman not men, but i find myself being attracted to passable cds.
2. Changing your image with the spouse.
3. Got balls?
4. Looking into femskin product.
5. Breasts or Vagina?
6. Purged my boy clothes!
7. How girly is your SO?
8. How far do you push what you wear at work?
9. Is it okay to crave being with a man only when I'm dressed as a girl?
10. Piercing belly button.
Now back up and imagine you are dressing and your wife doesn't know. Then she busts you. You calm her down and send her here without any explanation other than it will educate her. Now look through these threads with her scared and uneducated perspective. Are you helping yourself by doing this?
Forums are a bad place to go to actually understand a group of people. Most of them are nothing more than a bunch of nerds bickering. I do not think very many people come here for the purpose of gaining knowledge about us, unless they're a registered member with a loved one that cross dresses or are a cross dresser themselves. A personal blog or an article is a much better place to get that information from. I think the general public is aware of the fact that anyone can register and post on a message board, in a few minutes. Maybe the people posting these threads will bring a bad opinion to themselves, but I do not think they will bring a bad opinion to us overall. No more than we already have anyways.
Btw Kelly, if we were promoting the stereotype the majority would have to be participating in each stereotype, for it to be accepted as a true stereotype. The majority is clearly not.
Last edited by Kaitlyn26; 09-05-2011 at 11:19 PM.
Which sections are viewable to guests? When I came here, it was really difficult to view anything without registering and being active. It is the main reason I come here. I will be very disappointed if I find out that this has changed.
[SIZE="2"]Being trans is so freaking awesome, it astounds me that anyone would want to choose to be only one gender. [/SIZE]
Hmmmmm, Kelly, maybe we are lying to ourselves and maybe we really are closer to being our stereotype than we would like to admit?
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
Really.. so you are saying that in order for someone to be stereotyped, they have to act in a stereotypical manner? nobody actually judges a group, by the actions of a few? Wouldn't it be nice if people really were that enlightened. TBPH I have no clue as to whether or not these sexual fantasy threads would actually reflect on the rest or not. My intention was more food for thought than any kind of recrimination or accusations like saying for a fact that these type threads make us all look bad. It was a question for discussion about the "possibility".
wino_tg please re-read post #9
Barbara I honestly don't know that, nor was my intention to allude to any such thing.. and i am certainly NOT going to open that can of worms
Kel
Last edited by kellycan27; 09-06-2011 at 02:03 AM.
So is the idea something like this: "In order to get people to accept us as we are, we must hide the truth about how we really think and feel"?
Wasn't asking that.
Most of us share our pictures via the "attach file" function and I was curious to know if a non-registered viewer could see said attachments. Most message boards I'm on don't permit guests to see or download attachments.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
Oscar Wilde
If you want a stereotype to be promoted and accepted as a truth, then yes the majority has to display the characteristic. Here's a thought, stereotypes are sometimes true. The way I read your post was that you're claiming a few members making threads like this could tarnish our image as a whole. I do not think that is the case. I think any informed reader that desires to make a conclusion about us is that sexual fantasies would not be an accurate stereotype. Now, if they made the conclusion that we're often centered around under garments and breast forms, they would be a lot more accurate. Those threads out number fantasy threads by a great number, and are probably an accurate stereotype for the majority. Many other thread topics out number the fantasy topics and I think the only person it reflects on at all, are the people in the threads talking about actual fantasies.
Maybe I'm giving the average person too much credit. Maybe I'm just looking at it from the perspective of what these observers know in their hearts to be true, rather than what they would say aloud if asked about it by a person that obviously does not have a good opinion of us.
Stereotypes are a funny thing because depending on the situation they can either be acceptable or a problem. For example a friend of mine started making fun of a so called "gangster" kid for wearing his pants too low. He tugged his own pants down to the bottom of his butt, took his shirt off to reveal his undershirt or "wife beater", and began to say "Look at me I'm thuggish yo, yea don't **** with me I'm hard." It was meant as a joke and to get the guy to stop trying to intimidate everyone, and it worked very well. Not everyone could've "gone there", and gotten away with it though. Most people will discuss and perpetuate a stereotype in only a socially acceptable way. If society deems that we're not worthy to be respected and treated as everyone else, then we may have problems with it. If they consider us in the light that they should though, no one will widely use the stereotype for fear of be labeled by another stereotype in society, a bigot.
I do not think that a few threads on the internet are going to make a difference. If "one of us" does or says something in the public eye, then yes it could happen. The weight of the task is on those that get real attention, not us. I do not think that the majority of people in this day and age are as decisive about stereotypes as they once were. I think society has seen the err of their ways in the last 30-40 years.
Sorry for the wall of text. Stereotypes are a complicated subject.
Last edited by Kaitlyn26; 09-06-2011 at 02:40 AM.
No,nobody is suggesting any type of censorship, nor is anyone saying that anyone should hide their true selves in order to be accepted.Nothing of the sort was ever mentioned. Sometimes it's so hard to get a simple question posed when instead of people reading the lines, they read between them.
Last edited by kellycan27; 09-06-2011 at 02:57 AM.
I never "claimed" anything.. I simply asked if there was a "possibility" that when an uneducated "guest" comes in and reads these fantasy threads, "might" that give them the wrong impression? How can you know what's in one's heart? Where do people get "bad impressions" of us? Who said anything about any majority?
Sue brought up a very valid point.. What would an uneducated SO think if she were to come in here and read these threads ( some that sue mentioned) without some kind of explanation before hand?
Last edited by kellycan27; 09-06-2011 at 02:59 AM.
They get bad impressions from widespread media coverage. To answer your question bluntly, no I do not think this forum and the threads in it are important enough to perpetuate stereotypes. As I said, in order to perpetuate, what you say and do needs to carry a little more weight than we can in a thread. No one online takes any of it very seriously or always believes that every serious comment or post, is actually serious. The internet carries very little weight overall, unless it's being backed by something in real life. If what we say here was observed in real life either through media coverage, or the majority in public displaying the same trait, then yes it might happen.
Last edited by Kaitlyn26; 09-06-2011 at 03:01 AM.
Finally! All I was asking was for opinions.. you just gave yours. Was that so difficult? I am not debating anything anyone says.. simply asking for OPINIONS!
"The way I read your post was that you're claiming a few members making threads like this could tarnish our image as a whole. I do not think that is the case."
"I do not think that a few threads on the internet are going to make a difference. If "one of us" does or says something in the public eye, then yes it could happen. The weight of the task is on those that get real attention, not us."
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