Is it common for crossdressers to have body image issues?
I mean, looking in the mirror and seeing all your negatives and wondering how the hell you're supposed to deal with it and look more feminine?
I know any improvements take time and dedication but I wondered if it's normal to only really care how it would affect a feminine appearance.
I think I'm just crazy though.
Except for the beard, I know some of you hate yours as much as I hate mine.
all the time - I'm too tall, too thick around the waist, my shoulders/arms/hands are too big, my face is too masculine....I have lots of other issues besides body issues too, but no use getting into those!
Oh, I do; the problem is that I can still "feel" it if that makes any sense.Originally Posted by Scarlet Rose
Step 1. Shave beard off.
It will help your womanly self image no end.
I would love an elliptical but I have nowhere to put it and no cash to buy it.
If my bike seat wasn't so painful I'd ride it more often than the current never.
It's good to know I'm not alone on this!
I do not think it is not just crossdressers who may have body image issues. I have body image issue most of the time. I want to look as good as I can in both male and female mode. Of course the problem is male and female have distinctively different what is perceived as ideal body shape so there lies a dilemma. Despite my workout routine on core work and cardio exercise I know I am not going to get 28 inch waist, so I use a corset to create illusion.
Daliah Hermes
Hi WWW, Your mirror can be your best friend or your worst enemy.
Orchid
I get dressed look down at my body and think i look great. Then i go to the mirror and my shoulders are sloped down i could see my man arms, and wonder what i was seeing from the top view. The mirror doesn't lie.
To me it is much worse when I think I have it all together then crash because of a picture of yourself or a new image in the mirror.
That is when we need that Genie or maybe some instant pink spray.
Our image is fragile.
Kitty
[SIZE="4"]With the possible exception of being a little taller than I would have liked, I'm pretty well satisfied with what I've got to work with. The difficulties with finding clothes that fit well for a tall man, and woman too, can be a real challenge. Then again, maybe the challenge of making something out of nothing is part of the fun![/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
We are who are... it is what we make of it that matters...
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
It's common for any woman to have body image issues. We all wish we were shorter or thinner or younger or prettier or ....shall I go on?
My wife asked why a friend (cd) and I take so many pictures of ourselves. We told her it's so that we can objectively criticize our appearance. The mirror is your friend and you can convince yourself you look fabulous when you see the reflection, but it's harder to do that to a picture.
Yes, we all have image issues and we all strive to better our appearance and ourselves as women.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I have body image issues in both male and female roles. I have never liked my male appearance, no matter how thin, fat, or buff. I dislike looking at pictures of myself in guy mode - I am even more critical of my male appearance than I am of my female apearance. That is not to say I do not have issues with my female image because I do. I do not like my face, my arms, my waist, and most importantly any body hair! But, I still enjoy my female image much more than I do my male image and I am happy with myself when dressed. I take pictures and although I am still critical, I prefer them to any pictures of myself in guy mode.
Danni
I'M FREE, I'M FREE! I GET TO BE ME!
I'm weird in that my male appearance doesn't matter as much, I don't care how masculine I appear since I stopped putting up that facade.
As Debbie, I struggle with body image issues, but since I have related closely with lots of women and girls as I was growing up, I realize that it just comes with the territory of trying to be a pretty girl.
As a boy, I had no idea what was "sexy" for a man. Wrestlers had nice bodies, but didn't seem attractive to women. Military men seemed to be in good physical shape, but didn't seem to be terribly attractive. James Bond, whether played by Sean Connery, Roger Moore, or Pierce Brosnan, was attractive, but not terribly "sexy". In fact, they seemed to be asexual, not getting even excited when the beautiful seductress would show up to take advantage of him.
On the other hand, one of my baby-sitters wanted to be a fashion model, and when we would watch beauty contests together, she would tell me all the "tricks" to looking beautiful. How they would suck their stomachs in almost unnaturally as they walked down the isle in 3-4 inch heels wearing a swimsuit that showed every curve and bump. She would share fashion tips, and show how her own wardrobe choices minimized her butt, drew attention to her thighs, and how the right bra provided enough lift to make it clear that the breasts were real, but not so much that they were mashed together to get cleavage.
When I dressed, in private, I took all these tips to heart, and got to where I could look pretty good, for an 11 year old by dressing as a 20 year old girl.
When I got married and had to live as a man full time, and my first wife did everything she could to discourage any expression of my feminine side, I didn't care that much about my appearance. My male clothes were always cut very loose, hiding any form of the legs, but and most of the waist. The shirt was only fit based on the collar, and spread from there like a tent. In fact, from 155 to 275 lbs, my 16 inch collars never felt tight. In fact, the first time I noticed my shirts were tight, was when I topped over 325 lbs in 2001.
When I came out as Debbie in October of 1998, I was still at 275 lbs, and I had to sew my costume myself. Even with an industrial strength corset, I was big, just barely showing a waist instead of a belly. But over the next 12 months, I started going out weekly, especially as I saw a therapist with prior experience working with Transgendered people. I was much more aware of what I ate, my posture, and I started to dance for exercise. Soon, I was dancing almost non-stop for 4 hours a night, usually 2 nights a week. I dropped from 275 lbs to 175 lbs, and by Novemer of 1999, I was down to 165. I stayed at this weight for almost 7 years, until I took a series of leadership programs which required that I "burn the dress" and agree to make NO appearances as Debbie. I started consulting and ate at hotels - and shot up to 250. In 1996, I put the wardrobe in storage, and began to gain weight. In 6 months, I was up from 160 to 210. A year later, I was at 230. After that, I was so fat I couldn't stand the sight of Debbie in a mirror, let alone a few pictures. In 1999, I hit the road again, and shot up to 325. I finally became aware of my weight as a man. I tried to lose weight using Atkins and got down to 275, but couldn't lose more. After a heart attack in 2000, and a stroke in 2007, I realized I needed to do something. Ironically, the lack of exercise and life on the road pushed me back up to 315, and I finally decided to enlist Debbie's help in losing the weight.
I created a game called "14 in 14", with the goal to be size 14 in 14 months, starting in July of 2010. I started Weight Watchers and lost about 90 lbs, dropping to 235. It's still more than I'd like, and I'm still looking to lose another 60 lbs, but I'm into a real size 16 now, and I love it. I'm about 20 lbs from being able to buy large instead of XL. I'd still like to be size 14 by Halloween.
As Debbie, I knew how to put together a knock-out look, hair, make-up and wig. I could stop traffic on 7th Ave in NYC, and I'd only get clocked in department stores, under flourescent lights, from about 6 feet away, but I would still be aware of how I could improve my look, soften my jaw, conceal my facial hair, and create the illusion for as long as possible.
Recently, I went out for one of my walks as Debbie, wearing shorts, a loose blouse, and my wig and some make-up. I ended up having some van drive by and the guy was asking me for a date. I waved him off, but he hadn't read me even when he was pulled up next to me and looking me in the eye.
When I'm out as Debbie, I am acutely aware that I face the same risks, dangers, and attention that a beautiful woman would experience. When I'm out in public, walking, or on the train, there will be guys who, even though they don't know I'm not a GG, will be rude, lewd, crude, and socially unacceptable. I had one guy trying to feel me up, groping me, and doing things that verged on criminal. Finally, I dropped my voice to a low bass voice and growled at him "I don't think you want to go there". His eyes popped wide open, his mouth agape, like he'd just seen a ghost. He started to freak out, then he started laughing. I chuckled with him for a few seconds, and said "If I had been a real woman, I might have had you arrested". Suddenly, he stopped laughing. He was a perfect gentlemen the rest of the way into the city.
What you are experiencing, your body awareness, is perfectly normal, it's exactly what ever Genetic Girl experiences when she is trying to look her best for an event where she wants to be admired, attractive, beautiful, and accepted.
Ironically, both GGs and experienced TGs and TSs learn very quickly that sometimes "perfect" is too much. Yes, you can put together a knock-out look that makes you look like you're ready for the red carpet, but this will also get you noticed, and examined more closely. Sometimes, toning it down a notch or two, will give you a more natural look. People will notice you, and might even compliment you, but at the same time, they won't oggle you and examine you obsessively - looking for the flaws, eventually discovering that your flaw is that your aren't really a girl.
The more i dress like a female the more body issues i have, dressing like a male i did't care, but now i worry about how i walk, look, and all female things, i'll never say female have it easy, it's hardest thing i've done to look like a female
It's very normal for anyone to have body image problems. Some groups are more prone, such as teenage girls, but everyone does. If it wasn't the norm, media outlets would not be flooded with adds for products that tell us what we are not supposed to like about our looks, how we should ideally look, and products that are supposed to make us look our best.
Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein
I don't really hate my body. I do make my body fit the image I want. And over the years I've been successful at sculpting y body towards that end... It does take time and commitment but the rewards are amazing!!!
I'll bet we're JUST LIKE GGs, WWW!
The best looking ones of us r the ones MOST WORRIED about their looks!
Like them, we can use tricks to look better, hotter, prettier! In fact, we may have MORE tricks at our disposal than they do! Because we can:
Wear wigs, (OK, a few balding GGs do. But, not a sizable statistic!)
Wear breast forms
Wear corsets, (Oh yeah? When's the last time u heard of a GG wearing one? 1948? U ROCK, Karren!)
Wear the hip/butt pads of our choice, (Yes, I know. Butt pads r commonly sold to deprived GGs)
Wear masks and female suits ( Whoops! Not many of us do THAT! But, I DO get to keep my beard!)
Probably a number of others I forgot or aren't familiar with!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
What Kaz said applies to me very well. I am a man, and have no desire to be a woman. Since I am a crossdresser people will definitely see that I do dress in very feminine clothing! But do I try to actually look like a woman? No, not at all. I wear no makeup or wig, so I am definitely a man wearing female clothes!! I only dress to please myself, not other people! If they don't like what I am wearing, that's tough!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
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