I often ponder why I am the way I am.
I love the way women's clothing fits and feels on me. It just feels right and natural to be dressed in feminine clothing. I have very masculine hobbies (hunting, fishing, ATV's, etc), I love looking at beautiful women (especially my wife!) and I am pretty much all man. I will never pass as a woman, and I sometimes wonder "why am I doing this"? Life would be much easier if I was comfortable in boxers instead of satin or cotton bikini panties with "cute" patterns and colors, if I didn't love painting my toenails and looking down and seeing pretty colors and dainty toerings, if skirts didn't feel so damn comfortable, if I prefered baggy sweatpants over tight flare-leg yoga pants, if wearing a bra didn't feel so natural, and if I could sleep as good in pajamas as I do in a satin chemise nightie. My wife is pretty good about everything, because of her deep and eternal love for me. I am quite sure that she would prefer the easy route as well, given the choice.
This has been a part of me ever since I can remember, and I think my father also crossdressed, but kept it very well hidden from his children, as I do. I know this is not something I can change. I have purged in the past and it only left me feeling depressed and eventually replacing all the clothing. I have been much happier, have been sleeping better at night, and have been far less stressed since my wife of 26 years discovered my secret and I have been able to express my feminine side, but I still have trouble understanding why I was wired this way..seems like a few wires got crossed during production.