When there is a tragic event in your life, do you dress more often or less?

[Rebecca W.]

We all have tragic events that occur in our lives, how has that affected your crossdressing?
Several years ago, I had to deal with several tragic events that occurred one after another. I reached out to my crossdressing and I found a great comfort in shopping for and wearing the clothes. It helped me to be able to relieve some of the stress. As time passed, so did the extent of the crossdressing. Crossdressing for me tends to roll in like a tide and then retreat for another event.

Let me hear your stories.

Thank you,
Rebecca

[JustWendy]

In my 30's and 40's, times of great stress or sadness would drive me to dress more. While I was dressed I gave myself permission to be vulnerable - a short vacation from having to be strong for everyone. This was during a time when I wasn't dressing fully - no wig, no jewelry, little makeup. As I have moved into my 50's and 60's, dressing has become less about the clothes and more about how I feel as a person. I complete the image with wigs, makeup, accessories, and removal of all body hair. And I've found that I'm only in the mood to dress when I'm happy. Stress and Angst kills the mood for me.

Wendy

[Wendy_Marie]

No more, no less.....It's funny for me to look at pics of myself from things like Prom, graduation weddings and funerals..because while on the outside I see my male self complete with male clothing. In my minds eye I also see the blue teddy I wore under my suit at Jr. Prom...or the White cotton panties and tank top under my robe for Graduation...Even the black panty girdle, sports bra and chamesolle I had on during both my Fathers funeral and again for my Mother.'s

To do anything else for me would be otherwise hypocritical...and this above all else is one of my biggest fears...as I would not feel as if I were being true to myself were I to do otherwise.

I actually regret not coming out to my parents while they were still around...I recently remedied this and took a trip to their graveside as Wendy to explain myself to them...some may see this as Morbid or disrespectful...but I assure you my intent with this experience was anything but..and it was just as difficult for me to climb out of my car at that rural and secluded cemetary and talk to them as it would have been had they still been around and I arriving at their home.

[sandra-leigh]

When my grandmother was dying, I flew in and stayed in a motel (instead of at her house) so that I could dress up and so I could go out in public dressed. Even though one of the outings was just a long walk though unfamiliar neighborhoods, it helped.

I don't remember now exactly what I wore to her funeral, but I do remember it included panties. It was comforting. I was already wearing panties full-time by then, but deliberately putting on men's underwear "to avoid being caught" or "as a sign of respect for her"... I couldn't do that to myself. I needed the solace.

[Robyn B]

Interesting question. Upon reflection, I do think I have a tendency to have a greater desire to dress while under some sort of stress...be it family or job related.

Perhaps the challenge and mental focus required to to mimic the life effeminate serves as release of some sort from the challenges we occasional face in the "real" word per say.

Great question....makes a girl think a bit!

[Cari]

Ive had both reactions

If I feel the event or stress is in my control or others need me I wont dress until time heals it somewhat.

Things that are just outside my control cause me to dress more and I take comfort in it.

[suchacutie]

Since I've only been dressing for 6 years, much of my life was organized in the male gender. Thus, much of the stress of life needs to be taken care of in that gender, so I tend to dress less when a crisis arises. Part of it is that I don't afford myself the leisure of Tina when I know that I might be needed at any time and if I have to shelve Tina first it takes me time I can't afford. Also, Tina takes effort and if I'm in a crisis situation I cannot afford that time.

This happened last week. I thought I would have immense amounts of time for Tina starting on Monday afternoon. I expected Tina to dominate until late Thursday. But, the crisis that started on Friday did not start to diminish until late Wednesday, and was not cleared until Thursday. Thus, it was not until Thursday late that Tina arrived. She has been on the scene as much as work will allow since then (like right now!).

Crisis need my male side. Tina is a luxury and I don't enjoy having her deal with adversity (beyond that normally a trans woman has to deal with), so adversity = male for me!

[AKAMichelle]

Much less for me. In fact I went for several months 5 years ago where I didn't dress and even had one of those ugly purges.

[*Vanessa*]

Stress of any kind is always without exception challenged head on by Vanessa and I thank her for that.

[Angela2me]

When I am stressed, I do use dressing as a form of escapism. I can become someone else for a while.

[carolynn2fem]

We all have tragic events that occur in our lives, how has that affected your crossdressing?
Several years ago, I had to deal with several tragic events that occurred one after another. I reached out to my crossdressing and I found a great comfort in shopping for and wearing the clothes. It helped me to be able to relieve some of the stress. As time passed, so did the extent of the crossdressing. Crossdressing for me tends to roll in like a tide and then retreat for another event.

Let me hear your stories.

Thank you,
Rebecca

Since I saw the title I'm thinking DRESSED WHEN STRESSED but Cari defined my thought better

Ive had both reactions

If I feel the event or stress is in my control or others need me I wont dress until time heals it somewhat.

Things that are just outside my control cause me to dress more and I take comfort in it.

[Kathy4ever]

I think it depends on the person and maybe the reason they might cross dress. Some times we need to retreat from our real selves and dressing is an outlet. When I'm stressed or have a crisis i might want to dress more for those reasons. The main problem is the privacy or time to do it right is my problem. I've incorparated many fem items of clothing in my daily life to be some what happy. Hey if I did not have to work over 50 hours a week and have kids running around and a wife who could more supporting of even more female style then I would say I would dress when a crisis hit.

[Barbra P]

My Mother died last Thursday and I dressed for a good part of the day and evening on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I wrote about it in this Thread.

Does Barbra handle stress better? I don't really think so, but I sort of think Barbra offers me a break from reality, a gateway to a different realm, and for a few hours I can be the person I have always wanted to be. Unfortunately the here-and-now is always waiting, but for about 30 hours out of 72 I was able to get away and Barbra had some wonderful conversations with people that I, as a male, never would have experienced.

[TGMarla]

Like Cari, I've had both reactions. However, I think that stressful, sad, or tragic moments in my life bring out a greater desire to dress. I dress quite often anyway, so I can't really say that I dress more under such circumstances. But the desire, the need, is greater.

[Tina B.]

Short answer, less. during times of stress, I'm the glue that holds the family together, and I do it as a man. I'm the strong one everyone goes to, from mother, to wife, to kids and grandkids. I put on my best macho attitude, dig in and help all get thought lives little surprises, and then when life gets back to normal, so do I. Normal is of course spending as much time as possible as Tina. When I feel stress I don't even think about dressing, but if I get depressed, that's another story. I dress and enjoy only when things are going good in life, the rest I let him deal with it.
Tina B.

[Karren H]

No. Not at all... Usually less..

[Sharon B.]

For me it is more dressing.

[PretzelGirl]

I recently had a death in the family. After the death, there was no real change as the stress was all before in caring for the person. But before her death was more stressful and there definitely was less dressing. Taking care of her obviously was the priority.

[Terraforming]

For me... less. It's sort of a comfort zone and reassurance thing that I tend to do most when I'm happy or excited. When tragedy strikes, it's not much of a coping mechanism for me.

[Shelly67]

I've been in recovery for PTSD and only now have slowly began to emerge from it .
I won't go into the reasons on what occurred , but it halted my dressing totally . But then the event stopped everything .
I can't even recall the months afterwards , the time just sat there , staring .

In other times of stress , popping on a dress ect has helped no end ..... takes it away almost .

[Maria Blackwood]

I crossdress more when I am happy. During the bouts of professional burnout I have been weathering recently, dressing activity drops off to nothing.

[Rachel Morley]

No. Not at all... Usually less..

Ditto for me too. When I'm feeling highly stressed dressing is the last thing on my mind. If I were to dress when in a stressed frame of mind I don't think it would help as I know I wouldn't be able to enjoy it as much because I would still be thinking about the thing that is getting me stressed out in the first place. Dressing is a stress buster of sorts but not the kind of level of stress I get when there is a "tragic" event that has happened.

[sissystephanie]

I lost my dear wife to cancer 6 years ago, after almost 50 years of marriage! Since her death my crossdressing has greatly increased to the point where I dress at least part of the time almost every day. Although she knew that I was a CD and supported me fully, I did not usually dress that often!! Becoming Stephanie is a way for me to relieve my loneliness!

[Chickhe]

Nope. Its less because I'm in emergency mode dealing with the problem... but if I'm bored, or procrastinating then it is a fun diversion.

[SweetIonis]

In my 30's and 40's, times of great stress or sadness would drive me to dress more. While I was dressed I gave myself permission to be vulnerable - a short vacation from having to be strong for everyone. This was during a time when I wasn't dressing fully - no wig, no jewelry, little makeup. As I have moved into my 50's and 60's, dressing has become less about the clothes and more about how I feel as a person. I complete the image with wigs, makeup, accessories, and removal of all body hair. And I've found that I'm only in the mood to dress when I'm happy. Stress and Angst kills the mood for me.

Wendy

This was an interesting response. The "permission to be vulnerable" stuff is noteworthy. I wonder that since your dressing has become an mechanism of self expression, that the association in your mind with being vulnerable is driving you away in a time of stress. Stress is usually a symptom of being threatened, more or less. When we feel threatened, it is because we feel more or less vulnerable. So it's possible that, subconciously, since you feel that it's an expression of you, your mind does not want to feel more vulnerable than it already is. Just a thought.