My confidence is waning!!!

[KellyG]

Here's an interesting thought:
He pays an awful lot of attention to you, doesn't he?
Maybe he secretly wishes he had the nerve to do what you're doing.
Don't let his lack of confidence rub off on you.
Show him what it looks like when someone is comfortable in their skin, and it just might inspire him to accept himself.

[suchacutie]

It is interesting that so much can just roll off our backs, and then one issue or one person will cut through our thick skins and hit home! So why is that? Of course, there is no easy answer to that question, but maybe it is important for you to think about that for a second.

First of all, coming back at him full bore cannot solve this issue. I'm sure you know that so your thoughts of retribution are a way to blow off steam and come back to your senses. But the issue still rest there: why did this person lead you to leave your senses at all? You have described this person as someone who really has difficult issues with life. It's pretty clear that he is not worth a moment of your time, yet you have allowed him that. He is the one acting as a child! He is the one with no social graces!

The other folks in this thread are pointing you in a good direction. Prepare yourself for next time. Assume he will be there. Be prepared to smile at him. Don't let him sit in a world by himself and take pot shots because you ignor him. Just smile. Don't approach him, don't really do anything. Just smile and go on with your life. If your description of him is accurate, it's likely he won't be with us long anyway

You go girl!

tina

[Michelle James]

I ran into this person again and he has evolved. Not into anything worthwhile but something even more evil and despicable.

It has been a while since he and I attended the same auction. Part by chance but mostly I guess my reluctance to put myself in the situation of have to deal with him. Yea, I pussed out. OK there it is. It's out there.

So my Ebay business has been declining mostly from lack of merchandise. I decided yesterday that I had to go to this particular auction and load up. Even if it meant I could run into "he who must not be named" (further referred to as HWMNBN).

Here is what has changed. For some reason he and his entourage (yes he seems to have minions now) congregate at a large round table at the back of the auction hall. They are loud and disruptive and just overall obnoxious.

HWMNBN is clearly the ring leader and at different points during the evening he would decide which person either in the crowd or the auction staff was funny to him and then his minions would unleash all manner of laughter, heckling, berating and then once they got the desired reaction from this individual, they would applaud each other as if they had just won the Nobel Prize for ignorance.

One poor lady who has some extreme weight issues and uses a walker was chided relentlessly and when she left in tears they actually clapped loudly.

Last night I was not a victim of their venom. In fact I guess it was such a target rich environment for HWMNBN that I was not even a blip on his radar.

I am shocked that the people who run the sale did nothing. You would have thought someone would have asked them to leave.

While I am relieved that my first encounter was more about him being an evil jerk than anything else I am now more pissed than ever. As someone who was bullied as a child I have a sense of guilt for not doing anything to stand up for his victims. But what could I have done? What should I have done?

[Piora]

In fact I think I will seek him out and try to make nice.
Oh and we are headed out the door to another auction today and I may just run into him again. I have to go to this I need the stuff. Wish me luck and I'll let y'all now how it goes.

You would probably have a lot more luck with this approach (which I admire that you are trying) if you managed to get him without his buddy. These people are bullies, but usually, they play to an audience (as your later post indicates) They need to have the acceptance of their peers.

If he is still obnoxious after your attempts to be nice to him.

Try a little play acting, glance in his direction as you pass by him--whisper something in your wifes ear--she laughs loudly--sneaks a second (obvious) peek at him and whispers in your ear--you both laugh uproariously; if you can find a third woman to join in the fun so much the better. And keep walking.

Oh, I like that advice! That may well work for you.

What is it with the tazer? Are you going to taze everyone who makes you? If that is your attitude, you are going to be in jail some day for assault. Take a deep breath.

Hmmm. I agree with Sue. If he attacked you physically, then yes I would see the point of having a Tazer - but his type are all about verbal abuse and are usually cowards when it comes to any physical confrontation. I think you should be very careful about if and when you would ever use this weapon.

And why does it have to be a big deal that it is a 400 lb guy? Would it help if it was a teenage girl? An old man? The fact is that virtually every one of us will get made and more than once. Some people won't care and others will make a deal out of it. How it affects you is totally up to you. You should know it can happen, so ignore it. Move on as there is plenty of enjoyable things in life to spend you time on.

This is good advice, Michelle. I believe I read in another post where one member was 'read' by a teenage girl. I think your responses would be different with different types of people.

I ran into this person again and he has evolved. Not into anything worthwhile but something even more evil and despicable.


Here is what has changed. For some reason he and his entourage (yes he seems to have minions now) congregate at a large round table at the back of the auction hall. They are loud and disruptive and just overall obnoxious.

HWMNBN is clearly the ring leader and at different points during the evening he would decide which person either in the crowd or the auction staff was funny to him and then his minions would unleash all manner of laughter, heckling, berating and then once they got the desired reaction from this individual, they would applaud each other as if they had just won the Nobel Prize for ignorance.

One poor lady who has some extreme weight issues and uses a walker was chided relentlessly and when she left in tears they actually clapped loudly.

It's obvious that these miscreants are not there for the purpose of bidding. Why are they being tolerated? They are disruptive and abusive to other patrons. Complain, and complain loudly to the people who run this auction. Get others (there's bound to be lots of them) to back you up on this, and threaten to boycott the place - and tell them you will get others to as well - if something isn't done about this abuse. The people who run the auction are there to make money, or to have a successful event. Once they see that people are upset about this jackass's behaviour, they will be forced into action.

[ReineD]

But what could I have done? What should I have done?

This guy is disruptive, and his behavior could be seen as an attempt to eliminate competition. Could you complain to the people running the sale and point that out?

[MissMarcie]

Do you realize you are the one who controls whether or not he's allowed to intimidate you?
You either allow him to get inside your head, or you don't. Simple as that.
Why do you even pay him any attention? Ignore him.

I ran into this person again and he has evolved. Not into anything worthwhile but something even more evil and despicable.

It has been a while since he and I attended the same auction. Part by chance but mostly I guess my reluctance to put myself in the situation of have to deal with him. Yea, I pussed out. OK there it is. It's out there.

So my Ebay business has been declining mostly from lack of merchandise. I decided yesterday that I had to go to this particular auction and load up. Even if it meant I could run into "he who must not be named" (further referred to as HWMNBN).

Here is what has changed. For some reason he and his entourage (yes he seems to have minions now) congregate at a large round table at the back of the auction hall. They are loud and disruptive and just overall obnoxious.

HWMNBN is clearly the ring leader and at different points during the evening he would decide which person either in the crowd or the auction staff was funny to him and then his minions would unleash all manner of laughter, heckling, berating and then once they got the desired reaction from this individual, they would applaud each other as if they had just won the Nobel Prize for ignorance.

One poor lady who has some extreme weight issues and uses a walker was chided relentlessly and when she left in tears they actually clapped loudly.

Last night I was not a victim of their venom. In fact I guess it was such a target rich environment for HWMNBN that I was not even a blip on his radar.

I am shocked that the people who run the sale did nothing. You would have thought someone would have asked them to leave.

While I am relieved that my first encounter was more about him being an evil jerk than anything else I am now more pissed than ever. As someone who was bullied as a child I have a sense of guilt for not doing anything to stand up for his victims. But what could I have done? What should I have done?