got dumped last nite.. she my clothes.. and she cant handle it... i loved her and she loved me.. im very sad , i wanted it to work.. nearly three years . we fought like crazy. the cd-ing just tipped the scales.. it was always a struggle tho.. i wish she was still with me.. i hope i dont descend into madness and sadness...
I'm so sorry to hear that, I know how hard it can be to split from someone you love, if you want someone to talk to or even just vent to, please feel free to PM me, hope things work themselves out.
Tahiri
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Sorry to hear this bridgetta
I know that feeling and want to invite you to PM me if you like. Remember this "Things change as we live from day to day".
I'm sorry to hear that your relationship is over. That said, from your description that "we fought like crazy" it may be best that you both move on. The right person will be out there for you, so don't give up.
I hope it doesn't take too long for you to get back into the dating world. I do have a suggestion though. When you start dating again, tell her up frond when things get serious.Good luck.
well, as a wise person once said to me - the sun will rise again tomorrow.
And for a dose of reality. You say that you fought like crazy. Brigetta, that is not a healthy, loving relationship. The best thing for you to do is to reflect very seriously on the nature of that relationship and try not to repeat it. Its almost certain that each of you contributed to the hostilities by what you said and how you reacted to what you heard. And now each of you needs to learn how to communicate more effectively. And its likely that each of you needs to learn to better manage your emotions and learn techniques for avoiding and lowering the level of hostilities.
If this relationship is over, then use the time to reorder your thinking and learn new ways to communicate without anger. And be very wary of re-entering a relationship, should the opportunity arise, without both of you making major changes.
Sorry to hear of your love pain. Many of us have felt your pain for ourselves. But from experience comes a time to said "I did my best" and quit wasting your energy.
Em
Living with a heel in each world.
Sorry to hear of your troubles
but its better to seperate after only three years than 40
thank you thank you... yes.. its true.. we fought about plenty of things.. some basic differences.. sadly.. we tried to work thru them.. the cd thing was too much for her.. she demanded to see my stash. and i let her.. as i was trying to be honest.. it backfired and she feels she cant trust me.. she has many issues about trust .. its just the way it is... i never hurt her.. and this crossdressing thing is so complicated.. i cant imagine telling anyone.. i have only ever told two people.. two girlfriends that i loved and they both evaporated shortly after..
my current girl. was willing to make a try.. and talked to a therapist and started to do research online.. but its just not her style at all... she might come around .. but she is very tough about things... im too dreamy for her.. she is a realist....
You've acknowledged that you fought a lot about some basic differences, butant that "CDing tipped the scales." Maybe this just isn't the right relationship for you. I will give her credit for trying to accept your CDing, but there was obviously more wrong with this relationship. Its not healthy for either of you to live in a situation where you have basic differences, whatever those may be.
Also, we live in the real world - so I'd strongly advise you to be realistic about this relationship and about your life. Look carefully at yourself and at the relationship...warts and all. Maybe talk to your therapist about your postives and where you might improve. Then go back out there and meet someone who shares your basic values and accepts you in your entirity.
So sad when this happens, but life goes on. It has been a long time since I split up with a lady I absolutely adored, I have tried to date others but never happy. Now I enjoy being alone, it has taken me a long time. Take heart, as one said to me "there are plenty of fish in the sea". What I found out is only worthwhile gets caught and the others are only worth the small amount of time that you spend with them, the rest swim bye.
im in major denial right now.... crossdressing is such a mind****,, it has to be a secret for me.. and therefor. i dont know who i am .. and people dont get to know the real me.. its a prison... where you hide and pretend to be free...
If it is meant to be, it will work out. My wife found my stash of clothes in April, and I thought it would be the end for us. We have been married for 27 years. It was really rough at first, but overall it has strengthened our relationship. She is still a bit uncomfortable with it, and I don't wear skirts, dresses, or feminine tops around her. She is OK with my toenails painted, panties 24/7, nighties (except when being intimate), and yoga pants. I have explained to her that it is just the way I am, and I am simply miserable and depressed when I try to stop dressing. She just told me today that she accepts me for who I am "for better or for worse". She is a great woman and I have underestimated her for a long time. I wish I had told her years ago. Maybe your girl will come around. If she truely loves you, she will also accept you for who you are and who you NEED to be. If not, you will find someone who will. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.
Life's too short to not be enjoyed! Live each day to the fullest!
thank you.. so much...
Last edited by bridgetta; 09-13-2011 at 09:31 PM.
just an update because you all were so kind and helpful... we took a break for a week.. still some things to work out.. but its getting better.. shes is adjusting.. she was shocked when she saw it and realized the real psychology of it.. and that i dont have a choice about it.. she has always been smart enough not to insult me or tell me its gross or anything.. i might see her today..
My heart goes out to you. My SO of 16 years left me in Sept of 2010, telling me she could no longer compete with my femmine half, although she has known from the beginning, so hard to take when she left, still not in the dating scene and its been over a year. But I'm still alive and doing just OK, not more than that these days, still miss her from time to time. So good luck on your endeavers, and just know you are not alone in this world.
I would suggest that neither of you really truly "loved" each other it was something entirely different. Maybe a strong liking each other or even lusting each other but love just does not do what you said happened. Love is patient and kind and does not fight over such trivial things as CDing. Love lifts us up not tears us down and so go onto the next person because that was not love at all sorry.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Mark Twain
Bridgetta, I am glad that you are talking after a week apart. Perhaps now that she knows, even the fights over other things will cease. It could be the dressing was a hidden reason for your demeanor in some of those fights. At least now, if you two stay together, there are no more secrets. Stay calm, do not raise your voice and give her time to adjust. Like many of our GG members have said in many other posts, this thing of finding out is not an easy thing for them to accept for a whole host of reasons. But if the love s there and you begin honest communication and setting boundaries you both can live with, things can be become better then ever between you. I wish you the best of luck.
well.. love is something hard to define... certain articles of clothing are less shocking than others.. she handled it well. but something things were too FAR for her and she needed to wrap her head around it.. i dont even understand it.. if i did i could explain it better.. i think the delivery is an important part of the acceptance.
Hi Bridgetta, Just rememberit's awass darkest before the dawn.
When one door closes another door opens start looking for the other door.
Orchid
Hon, this may be your opportunity to help educate her about who you are. Remind her comstantly you love her and you are still the same eprson today you were a week ago, albeit with a little secret. Now isi the time for her to learn the world is not black and white and with your guidance, you can helpl her learn to accept and understand.Originally Posted by bridgetta
Bridgetta you will survive this, but life will go on. Give yourself time to grieve the loss, but know it is not the end. There is always a new adventure just around the corner.
Hugs
Trisha
time and patience are your allies. Best of luck.
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