Public crossdressing without passing

[Tina B.]

Reine, for a lot of us, the problem with your concept, that if we would just wear that skirt with all the other stuff, and wear it in Black, or navy blue, maybe people would cut us more slack, I like Pink, Purple, powder blue, all the colors people see as feminine, I don't want to wear black or dark blue, and if I'm gone to be tied to just that, I might as wear a suit and tie, with pants. For a lot of us, it's about a lot more than just the clothes, I want the color, the jewelry, make up,and the heels, other wise, why bother.
Tina B.

[Alberta_Pat]

I want to be able to wear what I want, when I want.

Be it full on Femme, or a simple skirt and bare chest.

As long as form and function are appropriate, then What difference does it make?

[Intertwined]

I loved your post! And I enjoy your writing style .. very pulp fictionish. Welcome to cd.com!

You opened my eyes big time! I've been plugging along in this forum believing that to "crossdress" means to emulate a woman. Judging by the majority of posts and pictures in our Gallery, I can say this is definitely the case for most of our members here. There's a lot of talk about lingerie, breast forms, makeup, tucking, being pretty, etc, whether or not it is a fetish. We do have a few well-loved and respected members here who do dress like you, but because they are so few in numbers I always assumed that the main purpose of crossdressing, for most CDs, was to appear as a female rather than to simply do as the term suggests, wear skirts or dresses as a man. I did assume our male-appearing members were on the fringe, and I honestly didn't consider their or your style of presentation as crossdressing.

Reine, in lies my confussion, I do not wish to be a female, nor even look like a female, BUT, I am not just "A guy in a skirt or dress", I enjoy and appreciate most things feminine " Pretty, Soft, Dilicate, Graceful, Gentle, Tender ". I am in many ways a " Feminine Man ", BUT, I am also very masculine, I am the Husband, the Father, the Bread winner, the problem solver, and enjoy all that. I am the Square peg in a Round hole.

This is why I feel so alone at times, as you said, most here emulate a female. I've been to the "men in skirts sites" and I don't fit in there either.

I wonder how many of you there are, and how many men at cd.com would give up emulating women if the man-skirt or the man-dress concept were to be embraced by society. I also wonder what is the line between appearing as a man or a woman.

NO..! not for me anyway. The man skirt is not feminine enough for me, I like lace, pastels, soft flowing things, I doupt a man skirt would ever be that. I do own several " MAN Skirts " most are very gothic, I even wore one to Jury duty once.

Now, If I could just find Women's style clothing, cut for a man's body, narrow hips, broad shoulders, I would be in heaven, or on stage at a freak show... I'm not sure which.

[Asche]

..Is there a distinction among the members at skirtcafe.com between a man who wears a basic, black or navy A-line skirt with sober flats and a man's shirt, and a man who wears a frilly, sparkly dress with bangles , drop earrings, gauzy scarves, and pink six inch heels, even if he does not wear makeup, wig, or forms?

I wouldn't use the word "distinction." At times, "brawl" has seemed more appropriate, at least in the past. A frequent topic of disagreement is whether this or that item of clothing, or this or that style of dress is "too feminine."

But, yes, there is a wide variety in the styles that different "men in skirts" will wear. Heels, pantyhose, make-up, women's blouses, dresses -- for each of these, some wear them and others hate them.

Also, keep in mind, there are quite a few men who wear skirts (in "male mode") some of the time who AFAIK don't participate in any on-line discussions on the subject. There are quite a few times & places where it isn't seen as unusual. In fact, I think I've seen more men in skirts in real life than in all the on-line discussion groups I've ever participated in. (I'm excluding from this count the men at CD.com who AFAIK only wear skirts in "female mode.")

[Kaz]

I love the frills and lace... overall I love the 'feel' I get. The clothes move differently and it is a very very different feeling. To the OP.. brilliant start to the forum! I wish I was so brave.. he said, typing fully dressed with make-up! I'll be going out to meet my daughter shortly... a shower is in order!

[Asche]

I love the frills and lace...

Me, too. My latest skirt (yellow) has about 6 rows of yellow lace trim, two rows of lace "reveal", and a light blue ruffle at the bottom. I still need to add a row of lace to the bottom of the lining, peeping out behind the ruffle. I paired it with a blue shirt, blue knee-length stockings, and a blue square-dance petticoat for the Saturday night dance, and all my friends agreed it was nicely "over the top." Not exactly day wear, but then, neither is a bridesmaid's dress (or a tuxedo.)

But you left out good stuff like sheer fabrics. One of my favorite summer skirts is yellow (knee lenght) with a yellow organza lining showing about an inch below the hem. I was going to hem it up out of sight, but then decided I liked it better showing.

[Alicia Bell]

I'd love to have the courage to do that but I don't feel it's really possible in the ultra-touristy, stuck-up obnoxious city of Bath in England. I feel like there'll be more hecklers than bypassers. But I love the courage and idea, have you thought about taking it onto a larger scale and actually publishing findings?

[Sam-antha]

People are definitely people and they are all different. Except that the urban ones wander around with their eyes tight shut while the country cousins tend to keep them wide open. Congratulations on the flight efforts and the counter talk. They were interesting. thank you.
~Samm

[Miss Marshall]

Really interesting post.

I'm going to claim some of the middle ground. I would love to be able to go out in male mode but wearing a skirt and not be at risk of personal harm but alas, where I live there are just so many homophobes - and some of them live on my street.

I have had a run in with them on a number of occassions. Just name calling to me which I can take but vandalising the car when returning home from night clubs not quite as easy to take - and the police just don't want to know.

Whilst if the man in a skirt thing became acceptable I would actively engage on a very regular basis, I would also still have the special girly type times when I would do my utmost to be as close as I can get to being just like a woman.

I have recently become a little braver. Bought myself a large fleece blanket which I keep in the car - pre planning and very deviant. then one morning when traveling to an interview, kept my femme underwear on (which going to an interview I normally wouldn't do, not the bra anyway) put on a tee shirt under the white shirt and a waistcoat, opaque tights, modest heels and a pencil skirt. Set of at 5AM to get to the interview for 10:30AM and drove the 200+ miles like that then when nearly there pulled into a motorway service area and choosing a quiet spot got under the fleece and changed into trousers, male shoes and removed the breast forms. Did the interview (which I didn't get, was pipped at the post apparently). spent the day wondering around town, having foood etc then early evening found another quiet spot and changed back to the skirt, shoes and put the breastforms in my bra (obscured by the waistcoat) and drove home in the semi darkness. I've been wishing since that I had had the nerve to spend the day whilst out of town in the skirt - perhaps one for the future and it seems like a good idea to have a plauseable story to combat any idiots that might pop up with a very loud 'look, there's a man in a dress' (even if its a skirt)!!!

Perhaps on day.

[ReineD]

To Reine...I know its your personal definition of CD however I would like to comment about it. I personally have no gender issues...I dress in full female mode and try to pass because I think its the biggest challenge I have ever entered into.

Joanna, I just want to clarify, that although some of my posts may come off as definite opinions, they are not. I would like for my writing skills to be better than they are, but it is what it is.

I'm here trying to figure things out, trying to find ways to define some concepts with words, while at the same time trying to consider the vast array of CDers. Maybe I should end all my sentences with question marks. lol

[ClaudiaDawn]

OMG! You didn't wash your hands!

Great story.

Hugs,

Claudia Dawn

[stephan]

OMG! You didn't wash your hands!

Great story.

Hugs,

Claudia Dawn

OMG, Claudia, we have the same sense of humor!

[Kaeren]

i LOVE THIS STORY ! And part 2 of it as well.

For the summer vacation I painted my foot nails in black. I walked around with open shoes for nearly 2 weeks. Not a single soul made a remark to my big surprise. Most of them didn't see, or didn't care. Exceptionally somebody noticed even while it was not hidden at all. But nothing, no reaction. For the rest I acted normal.

Same thing in the swimming pool here. Each time I go swim it was with painted nails in black. No reactions whatsoever.

Maybe next time I'll try an experiment as this one as well.

[k lynn]

I really like your story for I am a male I like to wear a bra and pantys everyday along with jeans and a tee shirt no forms have no desire just the bra my head is shaved I am to muscuslar dont have no desire to be a woman just likethe clothes like I have said in my other posts have been this way since child hood. And Reine D I wish there were more women out there just like you with your belives.

[oliviapril]

wow
very cool
you go girl.
im jelous of your adventure...
hope to be able to do that one day...soon

[Brenn]

Great story. I spent 3 days doing something similar several years ago. It was very liberating. I always mix m/f things in my wardrobe. Shows that most people don't care. If more of us did this it could become "normal"

[ThiHi]

"Me: "And the two of you look pretty cute in pants. I hope your friends are OK with that too..."

That was my fav. I also like the discussion of "Fem mode" vs "Male mode" I'm one of those that doesn't need to look female, but like the variety of clothes available to women. Men do have a wide variety of the color brown though ;-) Ok, seriously, skirtcafe is a good site, i've been there, but gets a little testosterone filled for me with, as has been mentioned, the 'rules' about what's masculine, what's feminine, and at points being dismissive of others choices of apparel. They even state at the site that it's not about crossdressing, its about wearing skirts. sheesh.

I read here more often (and rarely post - sorry) as it seems more open, more accepting to a wider array of options. And for me, that's what it's about - options. My hair is long, I wear bright colors. I shave, I wear jewelry. No dresses/skirts/kilts in public yet, but that's coming.

Wonderful post stephan. And yes, please wash your hands next time. ;-)

[stephan]

Reine, for a lot of us, the problem with your concept, that if we would just wear that skirt with all the other stuff, and wear it in Black, or navy blue, maybe people would cut us more slack, I like Pink, Purple, powder blue, all the colors people see as feminine, I don't want to wear black or dark blue, and if I'm gone to be tied to just that, I might as wear a suit and tie, with pants. For a lot of us, it's about a lot more than just the clothes, I want the color, the jewelry, make up,and the heels, other wise, why bother.
Tina B.

I love colors too. I'm right there with ya. Oh, and my Polk-dot dress... No doubt about it, I would love to wear that out in public. But for as brave as you all have called me, i am not THAT brave. I think the best that I can do is blacks and blue... But I can dream!!!

[stephan]

I've been wearing panties (just love that word) for 35 years. Just came out to my wife 7 years ago. She hates it, but tolerates it. My favorite thing is from time to time, she will wear mine and sometimes put hers in my drawer... Maybe she is coming around?