Imho

[erickka]

I'll jump on the hell no bandwagon myself. I love to dress, but I would never want to go through all of the female bodily functions or childbirth. I have the utmost respect and admiration for GG's when it comes to this aspect of life.

[Miss Marshall]

I'm with Donna June on this one. If I could turn the clock back and If I could choose to be born as either a boy or a girl I would choose to be girl. Not that I hate being male I just identify more with many aspects of being a female than being male.

Then again, the life I think I would have had if I had been born female might not fit with the reality of what my life would have been like if I had been born a girl. It can all get very confusing.

Bottom line is I'm just glad to be alive.

[kimdl93]

But I took it he was referring to using the term "transgender" (I'm reading way too many threads in here ), where the debate is whether or not CDs have ANY identity issues, even if occasionally. This is why I went on and on about the black/white thinking vs. the middle ground, hence my suggestion that the people who say, "Hell NO" are not being honest with themselves when they say they do not present as a woman in order to feel feminine. lol

As noted above, I admit being at least unsure about my gender identification, and honestly, having often thought that I might have preferred being a woman, I was taken aback by the adamant "Hell no" this question evoked.

Its OK...I understand that many others here feel no desire to be women, and never have. It's just that I can't relate to this, because its contrary to my personal experience. But I understand that its unwise to assume that I'm representative of all CDrs, just as its unwise to make sweeping generalizations about any group.

[Debra Russell]

I think if I could just hang this thing up in the basement untill it's needed I would be happy!

[Lucy_Bella]

I seem to have misunderstood the OP's meaning. Most people in this thread take it when he said, "it is assumed most CDs secretly want to be female", that he meant transition, as if all CDs will eventually want to transition. We all know this is not true.

But I took it he was referring to using the term "transgender" (I'm reading way too many threads in here ), where the debate is whether or not CDs have ANY identity issues, even if occasionally. This is why I went on and on about the black/white thinking vs. the middle ground, hence my suggestion that the people who say, "Hell NO" are not being honest with themselves when they say they do not present as a woman in order to feel feminine. lol

Reine,
I feel although I can not answer for anyone else with "Transgender Issues" That I am being myself in a un-acceptable social enviroment ( that's why it's hidden for me ) Feeling Feminine and the desire to become Female are in the same ,yes I agree . I act no different other than appearance in my behavior from when I dress to when I am not presenting in Fem. Its a natural feeling that if surpressed can explode and spill over into depression. I need to dress to release the tension build up. Not dress to feed the desire to become a Female,if that was the case I would be a "Transsexual ".. I am not a Transsexual due to enjoying my male counterpart .
I wish I could answer honestly on what drives me to these urges other than the desire ,need and non stop nagging urge to present in Fem from time to time . So a stab at trying to answer the question could be nothing more than being ourselves, " Transgenders" have been around for many years and have expressed being Fem in many different ways depending on fads and eras, so if there hasn't been an answer yet to why many do this. I am sure I will not hold my breath any longer waiting on answers I would explode ..

[ReineD]

I act no different other than appearance in my behavior from when I dress to when I am not presenting in Fem.

Why would you act differently when dressed? You can have a desire to feel feminine without changing any of your behaviors? I mean, a presentation choice is just an appearance and it is not a behavior.

Its a natural feeling that if surpressed can explode and spill over into depression. I need to dress to release the tension build up. Not dress to feed the desire to become a Female

This makes sense to me, and I suspect most CDs in this forum feel the same way.

The idea that CDs wish to become a female just because they want to feel feminine is a part of the simplistic black & white thinking that dismisses the wide spectrum of transgender.

I wish I could answer honestly on what drives me to these urges other than the desire ,need and non stop nagging urge to present in Fem from time to time . So a stab at trying to answer the question could be nothing more than being ourselves

I don't know that anyone can determine why there is a drive to dress. I guess what matters is, the drive is there.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I act no different other than appearance in my behavior from when I dress to when I am not presenting in Fem. Its a natural feeling that if surpressed can explode and spill over into depression. I need to dress to release the tension build up. Not dress to feed the desire to become a Female,if that was the case I would be a "Transsexual ".. I am not a Transsexual due to enjoying my male counterpart .
.

It's interesting because transsexuals living in the wrong gender can dress to escape too...but find that there is no escape in just dressing...

the difference is both fundamental and subtle, because both crossdressers and transsexuals feel a mix of negative emotions when the dressing part is over...but its for totally different reasons.

i remember years ago i met a group of very nice folks that were all straight cd's, i was a newbie, and they took me right into their group at Renaissance meeting..i was shocked how they say with legs spread apart, talking in deep voices, making no attempt to be feminine..i thought at the time that was incredibly odd, because that behavior made no sense to me..they dressed for a totally different reason than me, i just didnt make the connection at the time..

[ReineD]

i remember years ago i met a group of very nice folks that were all straight cd's, i was a newbie, and they took me right into their group at Renaissance meeting..i was shocked how they say with legs spread apart, talking in deep voices, making no attempt to be feminine..i thought at the time that was incredibly odd, because that behavior made no sense to me..they dressed for a totally different reason than me, i just didnt make the connection at the time..

I stand to be corrected.

Some behavioral modifications are necessary, in order to not present obviously as a guy in a dress, such as softening of the voice, no scratching or adjusting genitals, no sitting spread-eagled like a guy when wearing a skirt, etc.

But the innate person doesn't change .. the interests, the topics of conversation, the choices in restaurants, the taste in music, personality traits, etc. Although I've seen new CDs behaving overly girly, almost like a caricature of a woman in terms of the walk, too much giggling and batting eyelashes or playing with hair, limiting the conversation to makeup and fashion, etc, I think this is just newbie learning behavior and hopefully in time it abates.

[*Vanessa*]

My I repeat

no sitting spread-eagled like a guy when wearing a skirt,

[mercterr]

I am a die hard "Hell No". I think a big part of the thrill I get from dressing comes from the fact that I am not suppose to be wearing these things. I enjoy my male self and while I love women, I don't understand them (how they think, what drives them) and I don't wish to experience the world as one. I am wired like a guy. I get my little world am I am happy to go on this way. Of course I am also in the "I really wish I could stop this behavior, it's humiliating and distracting to my life" camp. I think a lot of the members here who are more comfortable with their femininity are more at peace with their cross dressing than I am.

[sometimes_miss]

Part of me will alway want to be the girl I thought I was going to be when I reached puberty. I really, really thought that because I had been good, that god was going to 'fix' me. When I went almost all the way through high school without going through puberty, I though god was punishing me. By the time I figured it all out, it was too late. There are times when I still very much want to be a girl; I want the life I thought I was going to have. But it's way past gone; there's no chance of me ever being the pretty girl I wanted so very much to be. To become a homely middle aged woman, is really not going to be any better than being a homely middle aged man. I'd have little or no chance of finding a romantic partner either way. So, why go through all the effort; all the pain; the surgery; the daily dilation that remindes me I will never have sex with anyone again; At least being a guy, a very big guy, people tend to avoid pissing me off.

[ReineD]

Part of me will alway want to be the girl I thought I was going to be when I reached puberty. I really, really thought that because I had been good, that god was going to 'fix' me.

Awww, sometimes_miss ...

You remind me of one of my sons, when he was four years old. My son wanted to be able to fly in the worst way. Unbeknownst to me, his dad told him that if he was very good, God would grow him wings. I knew something was up when I noticed him being so very good all of a sudden; he was usually a hellion on wheels. I could see him straining with effort not to fight with his brother, and eating everything on his plate that he didn't like. I couldn't figure out what had come over him until one night I saw him turn in front of the mirror and trying to look at his back. Then he asked me, "Are they growing yet?" He had such hope in his eyes! When I questioned him he told me what his dad had said and my heart broke. I was quite angry with my husband and I told him to tell my son the truth. The next day he did, and my son was just sooo heart broken. He cried and cried. This is when he learned a valuable life lesson ... adults lie to you.

Anyway, your story reminds me of my son's heartbreak and I just feel so bad for you .. for what you went through and are still going through, a disappointment that never is forgotten.

[Sophie86]

I seem to have misunderstood the OP's meaning. Most people in this thread take it when he said, "it is assumed most CDs secretly want to be female", that he meant transition, as if all CDs will eventually want to transition. We all know this is not true.

But I took it he was referring to using the term "transgender" (I'm reading way too many threads in here ), where the debate is whether or not CDs have ANY identity issues, even if occasionally. This is why I went on and on about the black/white thinking vs. the middle ground, hence my suggestion that the people who say, "Hell NO" are not being honest with themselves when they say they do not present as a woman in order to feel feminine. lol

If I had to give a one-sentence response to why I dress, it would be "In order to feel feminine." The answer becomes more complicated when you start to unpack what I mean by feminine, but that's the essence of it. I think my concept of femininity and the way that I enjoy it is that of someone who is on the outside looking in.... through a rose-tinted window. If a genie popped out of a bottle and offered to set me back at the beginning of my life and let me live it over as a woman, I would say no. I like my fantasy, and I think making it real would spoil it.