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Thread: Ever wonder why a disproportinate number of trans girls are lesbian?

  1. #1
    Psyco Roller Derby Doll. Katesback's Avatar
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    Ever wonder why a disproportinate number of trans girls are lesbian?

    Statistics and more statisitics. We have them all. What I find most interesting is the disproportinate number of TS girls that identify as lesbian. We are talking about a very high percentage far in excess of natal born women.

    So why is that? Anyone ever think about it?

    I have some ideas. See when you start transition one has this dream of dating the perfect man but as they become further entrenched as a woman in society that dream is often shattered with the sad fact that there are VERY few decent men.

    Throw in the fact that virtually no straight man wants a woman with a penis and a lot dont want a woman that had a penis and you can start to see why many TS are lesbian.

    Add to the mix that fact that a lot of TS women do not escape trannyland so they remain a tranny regardless of having had SRS or not. Once again decent straight men want a woman. That excludes anything but a woman.

    Finally the perhaps the biggest contributor to why so many TS are lesbian is that many go through the hell of transition and then choose not to take on the task of introspection and evolution of learning to be with a man. It is so easy to simply resort back to the already learned experinces of being with a woman.

    Finally lets face it, lesbians are less likely to reject a TS girl than a straight man is. Who wants to deal with rejection?

    Katie
    Last edited by Katesback; 09-26-2011 at 01:48 PM.

  2. #2
    Coda...
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    This is so misguided, I don't know where to begin...

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zenith View Post
    This is so misguided, I don't know where to begin...
    Yeah, this is why I like to ignore kate.

    And kate, if you've left "trannyland" why are you still here?

    Ignorance.

  4. #4
    Psyco Roller Derby Doll. Katesback's Avatar
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    Well..... instead of disagreeing with me why not try to answer the question that is posed?

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    Just Kate Kaitlyn26's Avatar
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    So basically it's the men's fault? Isn't that what every lesbian says? A little one sided don't you think? How about their love for the female body? Their own misguided physiological imprinting? General resistance to change that most people have? Pure and simple laziness? A lack of help and guidance, that every young woman probably gets, from the GG's themselves!

    The only thing that you said that made any sense was, the lack of will to learn men. Sounds like maybe you need to learn this. You can have a man eating from your hand in minutes, if you know how to be with a man. You also should not take anyone at face value, and with a little work many men make very fitting husbands. The same way that many women also require work, or learning, to deal with the other gender on a romantic level. The best relationships are when both people in them change, and learn.

    Can't do it because you're not a real woman? Go read the thread that Pythos made about his relationship with, what turned out to be a GG. Even to "one of us", it's damned hard to tell at times. Some people claim that they always know. I wonder how many times they've blushed at a GG that sat there and wondered why.

    Lastly, I'd just like to say that, gay and bi men do not exist? Right?
    Last edited by Kaitlyn26; 09-26-2011 at 02:46 PM.
    "I am the beginning and the end. I bring order into chaos. "
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    "We give no crap, and we take very little."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Katesback View Post
    Well..... instead of disagreeing with me why not try to answer the question that is posed?
    Well, when you're side of the argument is blanket statements that transexuals are lazy and that no man alive would be with a girl with a penis, I don't feel like any insight or ideas I offer would be able to redeem this horrible start to a discussion.

  7. #7
    The journey has begun.... Regina's Avatar
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    I have always been attracted to women...and very little to men. I do harbor thoughts of a relationship with a man after SRS to "Test" the equipment beyond that I don't know and really don't care...I have no problem being able to get men who are attracted to TS girls if i wanted one. (turned a nice guy down Saturday night!) I have seen several relationships like this and found both were extremely happy with one another. So what does a straight guy have to do with this?

    ...if I want a relationship with a guy I really don't care if he is straight or not...as long as he likes me and we get along who cares!

    RMD

  8. #8
    Just Kate Kaitlyn26's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katesback View Post
    Well..... instead of disagreeing with me why not try to answer the question that is posed?
    Is there something wrong with the other responses already posted?
    "I am the beginning and the end. I bring order into chaos. "
    "I never tell the truth, because I do not believe such a thing exists. Truth, is in the eye of the beholder."
    "Since my customary farewell would appear oddly self serving, I shall simply say, good luck."
    "We give no crap, and we take very little."

  9. #9
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    The question is totally valid and very interesting.
    It's Frances with an E, like Frances Farmer. Francis is a man's name.

  10. #10
    Semi Sane innocent angel
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    It depends on the age. I found that most that transition after 30 tend to like women but are bi. I never wanted to be with a man never will. It has nothing to do with learning to be with a man. Learn to be with a man presumes that women are suppose to be with men. i've yet to see a TS date women cause they can not get man. Now I've seen klesbain TS date other TS cause you don't have to explain any thing about being TS.


    Here is some thing to think about too. Most of the pre op women I know lose their BF after SRS go figure that one out .
    Last edited by Niya W; 09-26-2011 at 03:13 PM.
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    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Might one's sexual orientation from the get go have something to do with this? We all know that gender and sexuality are two different things.......... Not everyone who transitions automatically changes teams.
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

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    Quote Originally Posted by kellycan27 View Post
    Might one's sexual orientation from the get go have something to do with this? We all know that gender and sexuality are two different things.......... Not everyone who transitions automatically changes teams.
    In that case, why would so many trans women start out as lesbians (pre-transition)?
    It's Frances with an E, like Frances Farmer. Francis is a man's name.

  13. #13
    Psyco Roller Derby Doll. Katesback's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kellycan27 View Post
    Might one's sexual orientation from the get go have something to do with this? We all know that gender and sexuality are two different things.......... Not everyone who transitions automatically changes teams.
    Sure Kelly but why is the number of ts lesbians so high.

  14. #14
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I have thought about it as it applies to the complete MtF and FtM TG spectrum. For your thread let's start with the fact that what one may consider a decent man to be (please define your idea of what that is Kate) varies by individual. I hear it here so many times from CD's, sometimes from GG's, TS's and others, that most/all men are slobs, pigs, chauvinists, inconsiderate, only want to get in a woman's pants, etc. To me you just stated the same thing when saying that there are very few decent men. Well, dear Kate, being a man who associates with a lot of other men, yes, most of my choosing, my fact is that the majority of men are decent good people. If you hang around with the wrong types or look in the wrong places, that is who you will meet (you being everyone). It is hard for many people to find a partner in life because we all have our own filtering criteria which ends up limiting our choices and chances. I know because I have met very few partners so far that meet mine. I also know that I am picky and don't make excuses for it.

    I agree with a lot of your ideas. It is hard enough to meet and date and get into a good lasting relationship with another person. Throw in the CD, TG, or TS background, that makes it even harder for most people. Yes, our history usually and eventually follows us into a relationship. Now, what about that there may be very few "decent" TS's out there too. I have met and talked with a lot of TS's, very few post op, read their posts here, listen to TS's fight and bicker and snap among themselves. I totally understand why that is too. Most TS's have been through a lot just to get to where they are and that can easily have a negative mental and emotional impact on them. Who really wants to make the effort to try to develop a relationship with anyone who carries that baggage, or any other serious baggage? I would guess it would be someone who understands, or can understand, what it is all about and can live and, maybe, most importantly, can deal with it when it raises its ugly head. Maybe that is that exceptional person (the rare "decent" man in this thread), or another TG, TS, CD, or maybe a woman (lesbian). I do not have much experience on this one, but based on what I have heard from a few TS's, some post op, and what I have read here, do lesbians really want a relationship with MtF TS's any more than a gay male would want one with a MtF TG, TS or CD? Have you have found that your chances for a better relationship is with a lesbian?

    I never really liked the word "tranny". I heard it before (before I began to CD) and thought it was a negative connotation for transvestites, sex workers. Once I started dressing I started to learn more about it and its background. Now, I occasionally use it in a lite humorous manner among close friends with no negative meaning intended nor taken. However, why is it when it comes out of your mouth and a few others, I hear that negative tone again? Kate, do you mean it that way? It sounds like you think that they are not like you and are on a lower rung of the class ladder of what? Transsexuals, human beings? I rarely comment on your threads because not being a transsexual, I don't have some specific experience to offer all the time. From reading your threads and posts, I do respect where you have been, where you are, and a lot of what you think and offer up. Being someone who is sensitive to other people's tone of voice and style of writing, I think you come off harsh and arrogant many times when your message is sound and probably could have been stated in another way with equal or better results. Is your style of "telling it like it is" in your written tone of voice a typical women's trait (not typical in my experience), a male's trait (much more common to me), a transsexual's trait (new area for me, so no opinion yet), or what?

  15. #15
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frances View Post
    In that case, why would so many trans women start out as lesbians (pre-transition)?
    Because they were lesbians to begin with? Back to .... sexual orientation.
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

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  16. #16
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    Speaking directly to your question, no - I never wondered. To me it just seemed obvious. One fact has verry little connection to the other so why would chaniging one effect the other? Statisics show red cars are faster. Does that mean if I paint my car red it will be faster? I think statistics would show a moderate chance of being born gay and a lesser chance of being born trans. Now how likely is it to be born both? Probably way less than either. So to me there is no surprise - it just makes sense.

  17. #17
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Regina View Post
    I have always been attracted to women...and very little to men. I do harbor thoughts of a relationship with a man after SRS to "Test" the equipment beyond that I don't know and really don't care...I have no problem being able to get men who are attracted to TS girls if i wanted one. (turned a nice guy down Saturday night!) I have seen several relationships like this and found both were extremely happy with one another. So what does a straight guy have to do with this?

    ...if I want a relationship with a guy I really don't care if he is straight or not...as long as he likes me and we get along who cares!

    RMD
    I have always been attracted to men. I work, live and play in the mainstream, and the majority of men I meet and interact with are straight and I consider myself a heterosexual woman. I think I would be safe to say that the majority of gay guys wouldn't want a relationship with a girl. and as a heterosexual girl, I am not attracted to gay men I don't think either one of us would be happy for too long. You said that you aren't attracted to men, but then ad that you wouldn't care if he's straight or gay as long as he likes you and you get along.
    What about the sexual aspect of this relationship? Liking girls.. would you be OK with him having a penis? Were he not straight would he be happy with your not ?
    This is where whether the guy is straight or not would be paramount...... to me anyway.
    Kel
    Last edited by kellycan27; 09-26-2011 at 05:15 PM.
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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by kellycan27 View Post
    Because they were lesbians to begin with? Back to .... sexual orientation.
    I couldn't agree more. With some transsexuals their sexual orientation might change as they overcome any
    hang ups they might of have with others their sexual orientations don't change. Even though I am open to the
    idea of a relationship with a male - my issue is with finding a guy I can trust. Unfortunately life as a male allowed
    me to see most men for the dirty disgusting two-faced creatures they really are. I had seen the most loyal of
    guys I ever knew turn around and play up with another woman on his partner - so my problem is trust issues.

    So Kate, rejection has very little to do with it - the only time I have to deal with rejection now is when I turn
    down some scumbag who thinks I am just some dumb blonde sex-starved bimbo that he can have his way with.
    But it is not me who has the issue with the rejection - it is the insecure egotiscal mofo I just gave the flick to
    that has the rejection issues and can't deal with it. One arsehole got rude and obnoxious with me, another
    arsehole tried to force himself on me and get violent with me - now that was a very bad mistake on his part.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by kellycan27 View Post
    Because they were lesbians to begin with? Back to .... sexual orientation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Genifer Teal View Post
    Speaking directly to your question, no - I never wondered. To me it just seemed obvious. One fact has verry little connection to the other so why would chaniging one effect the other? Statisics show red cars are faster. Does that mean if I paint my car red it will be faster? I think statistics would show a moderate chance of being born gay and a lesser chance of being born trans. Now how likely is it to be born both? Probably way less than either. So to me there is no surprise - it just makes sense.
    But the premise given by Kate is that there is a disproportinate number. That may or may not be true, but most trans women I see at support groups are lesbian-identitifed. It is also possible that the stats are wrong and that hetero trans women do not go to support groups, do not post on forums and disappear into society?

    Fear may also be a strong motivator. As a post-op woman interested in men, I am afraid of bringing a guy into my appartment (which needs to be trans-proofed) right now and show my genitals to him. I fear being read or found out. I recently fooled around with a guy and let him feel me up through my clothes. He seemed content with what he found, but would he have felt the same seeing my 7 month old neo-vagina? I can definitely see the advantage of being with a woman. It turns out that I am bi, so being with a woman makes things easier. However, there is the call of the wild. I overcame a lot of fears and changed my body. Now, I have to change my appartement and overcome the fear of intimacy with a man who would not know my trans status, as I don't intend on being out with every partner.
    Last edited by Frances; 10-02-2011 at 09:39 AM.
    It's Frances with an E, like Frances Farmer. Francis is a man's name.

  20. #20
    Junior Member xxchloexx's Avatar
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    i am unable to really give an accutrate answer,to the question reallly,if i was never with anyone ,id just love to live as the real me i guess...orientation is a strange thing,as to trans may or may not change this,i havent so i dont know and am unable to comment,for me its total inner happiness knowing im correct,the social side i can work on after im totally happy
    i cant help getting mad that i have to hide what most girls get to adore......jes like.

  21. #21
    Be free - overcome fear!
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    Chloe - transition for me has nothing to do with my sexuality - if anything I used my sexuality as an excuse
    to avoid transition. I use to believe that I wasn't a transsexual because I liked women - some transsexuals
    struggle with the notion they are trans just because they are not attracted to men. There are a number of
    people I have met on this forum and in my own group that went through this as well.

    So for me its simple - I am focused on my transition & keeping my options open with my sexuality & base
    any decision to go into a relationship around the connection I feel for a person regardless of their gender.
    But so far there isn't any guys who have come along and swept me off my feet, but one should never rush
    into love either no matter what gender or sexual orientation you are - so there is plenty of time left yet hun.

  22. #22
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frances View Post
    Fear may also be a strong motivator. As a post-op woman interested in men, I am afraid of bringing a guy into my appartment (which needs to be trans-proofed) right now and show my genitals to him. I fear being read or found out. I recently fooled around with a guy and let him feel me up through my clothes. He seemed content with what he found, but would he have felt the same seeing my 7 month old neo-vagina? I can definitely see the advantage of being with a woman. It turns out that I am bi, so being with a woman makes things easier. However, there is the call of the wild. I overcame a lot of fears and changed my body. Now, I have to change my appartement and overcome the fear of intimacy with a man who would not know my trans status, as I don't intend on being out with every partner.
    This I can understand and it may well go back to some of Kate's points. ( a little off topic here) While I don't really see a moral obligation to disclose my status, I have found that if I meet someone who I am attracted to I will tell them up front. They may run or they may give it a go. I'd rather have them haul ass in the beginning, than some time after I have invested myself. Personally I would feel a lot safer, and a lot more comfortable if he knew up front. Casual dating... They( in my personal opinion).. need not know, but if I am interested (even from the start) for me the best rule of thumb is to lay my cards on the table. Not saying mine is the best or only way... just my way.
    Now.. back to your regular scheduled programming.

    (Read as in past tense.. I am married now and no longer dealing with this) lol
    Last edited by kellycan27; 09-26-2011 at 05:40 PM.
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  23. #23
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    I'm very curious as to why so many transwomen are lesbians too. Consider age at transition? Still working out the male conditioning?

    The dynamic with a man just feels so much more natural to me... I've done much better with straight and bi men than with bi women and lesbians - even after telling whoever that I'm pre-op.

    Lesbians, or at least the ones I've met, seem to be more intolerant about transwomen than straight men. Granted, I'm at a university, so the rhetoric from the Janice Raymond generation of (pseudo-)academics is probably filtering down to them through the Women's Studies department.

  24. #24
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    I have mostly been hit on my straight guys as well except for a few who were bisexuals & also 'tranny chasers'.
    and I know already that I could never be with a guy who isn't straight because I am not interested in a gay type
    relationship. A guy has to accept me as a female because I intend to go all the way with my transition. There
    have been bi guys who have tried to talk me into not having GRS but I am not interested in what they want, this
    is about what I want - so they quickly got the flick from me. But I think once I am post op then things will feel a
    lot different, but how my sexual orientations go, its just a case of wait & see, but if that connection isn't there
    well it's going to be very hard for me to want to go there with either a male or female.
    Last edited by Melody Moore; 09-26-2011 at 05:30 PM.

  25. #25
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    I think the premise is inaccurate. Perhaps it only seems that there are more lesbian TS woman for some other non sexual orientation reason. Perhaps its all a figment of the OPs imagination. Some statistics I have read on medical websites indicated that trans woman work out to roughly 1/3s, 1/3 hetero, 1/3 lesbian, 1/3 bi OR asexual. i think the question is moot without some real data to back up the assertion that a disproportionate number of TS woman are lesbian.

    I would consider myself either hetero or bi. I like guys but I still find my self attracted to woman that I see on the street now and then. I currently have a boyfriend and he's not attracted to men. I have a penis still but it really doesn't come into play during sex too much. I think he's figured out that though a chick with a dick maybe sounded like fun the reality is less exciting (of the dick part anyway) He would have no problem if I had the surgery tomorrow. I wouldn't have any problem trying out a girl again as long as she didn't expect me to be a man or function as a male in the relationship also I think it would primarily be just sex with girls where as with a guy I would prefer to be in a committed relationship
    Last edited by Aprilrain; 09-26-2011 at 05:43 PM.

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