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Thread: Ever wonder why a disproportinate number of trans girls are lesbian?

  1. #51
    One Perky Goth Gurl Pythos's Avatar
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    You know, I find the op to be anoyingly true. Look at my reaction when I realized I had attracted the attention of what may have been a TS. I was all concerned of what OTHERs would think.

    Now, I was able to wrestle with and defeat these feelings. I am now fully in love with this person (who is turning out to be GG to the best of my knowledge). I was able to see beyond her masculine build. Her personality shines like the moon in the midnight sky. She is a wonderful goof ball too.
    "I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
    Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

  2. #52
    fierce glamazon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aprilrain View Post
    While it is undoubtedly true that this sort of social engineering goes on (rather blatantly in fact) not even this kind of pressure can "change" some ones innate sexual orientation. I do think a lot more people are a lot more fluid than they think or want to believe but a transsexual upturns and disrupts her life so drastically that she has the unique opportunity to reexamine all the assumptions and personal "rules and regulations" her male life may have held so dear making it possible for her to seemingly "switch teams". I do think hormones are powerful enough to exert some kind of force but only if that person is innately wired to want to be with a man to begin with either as a heterosexual woman or a Bisexual woman.
    Yeah but are we talking about innate sexual orientation? Not everyone finds their innate sexual orientation right away, identifies with it, or acts on it.

  3. #53
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avana View Post
    Yeah but are we talking about innate sexual orientation? Not everyone finds their innate sexual orientation right away, identifies with it, or acts on it.
    No very true, I didn't, at least not half of it anyway ; )

  4. #54
    Never knows best Amber99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aprilrain View Post
    While it is undoubtedly true that this sort of social engineering goes on (rather blatantly in fact) not even this kind of pressure can "change" some ones innate sexual orientation. I do think a lot more people are a lot more fluid than they think or want to believe but a transsexual upturns and disrupts her life so drastically that she has the unique opportunity to reexamine all the assumptions and personal "rules and regulations" her male life may have held so dear making it possible for her to seemingly "switch teams". I do think hormones are powerful enough to exert some kind of force but only if that person is innately wired to want to be with a man to begin with either as a heterosexual woman or a Bisexual woman.
    Yeah this makes a lot of sense to me. I don't get the whole "Well, men are jerks so I decided to go with women." I can't force myself to like men regardless of how convenient it would be.

  5. #55
    New Member Kayla's Avatar
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    I think its simple MTFs are like most people out there straight. Why would you change your orientation just because you switched teams?
    The transvestite is a man who has discovered a way of being at peace with herself.

  6. #56
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amber99 View Post
    Yeah this makes a lot of sense to me. I don't get the whole "Well, men are jerks so I decided to go with women." I can't force myself to like men regardless of how convenient it would be.
    Well, I forced myself to like women for my entire life up to a few years ago.

    I wanted men, but I just refused to acknowledge it. I basically put my fingers in my ears and did "la la la la".

    Since I've "come out" as myself, I've experienced a freedom I could never imagine. Staying away from men wasn't nearly as hard as pretending to be sexually attracted to women.

    Denial is frighteningly powerful.
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    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
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  7. #57
    Be free - overcome fear!
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    Even though I primarily identify as a lesbian and I have been sexually abused by males, grew up with and seen the
    worst side of males and won't ever be played for a fool by a male, especially when it comes to love & romance I
    cannot deny that there has always been that ever present desire to be loved properly as a woman by the right man.

    My only issue is that I haven't met Mr Right yet, but when I do, I am sure that things will be radically different for me.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    Well, I forced myself to like women for my entire life up to a few years ago.

    I wanted men, but I just refused to acknowledge it. I basically put my fingers in my ears and did "la la la la".

    Since I've "come out" as myself, I've experienced a freedom I could never imagine. Staying away from men wasn't nearly as hard as pretending to be sexually attracted to women.

    Denial is frighteningly powerful.
    Yeah... women were always a job that I had to make myself do. Men are fun and lovable and cuddly and sexy

    Even before transition, I was with more men than women. It just felt right.

  9. #59
    :) Post-Op Hippie Chick CharleneT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kayla View Post
    I think its simple MTFs are like most people out there straight. Why would you change your orientation just because you switched teams?
    AH, but remember, when you switch gender - if your orientation stays the same, then you will switch whom you are attracted to An example: a strait MTF transitions, now she is a strait woman, okay, that would mean she is now attracted to men. Clear as mud ??
    There is a road—no simple highway—between the dawn and the dark of night.
    And if you go no one may follow. That path is for your steps alone.

  10. #60
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    Well, I forced myself to like women for my entire life up to a few years ago.

    I wanted men, but I just refused to acknowledge it. I basically put my fingers in my ears and did "la la la la".

    Since I've "come out" as myself, I've experienced a freedom I could never imagine. Staying away from men wasn't nearly as hard as pretending to be sexually attracted to women.

    Denial is frighteningly powerful.
    This is how I was as well though I do think I have a genuine attraction to females I think its more sexual than anything. Right now I have no desire to be in a relationship with a woman but Id fool around with one. I think being attracted to woman made it possible to fool myself into believing that I was a heterosexual man. Eventually the sex became tedious in all my relationships with woman because I was expected to be the "man" not because I don't like sex with girls, I was jealous. But meanwhile my thought life was always me, a woman, with a man and rarely did I ever fantasize about having sex with woman. If I thought a girl was hot and started fantasizing about her inevitable I would just become her and be with a man LOL. It's amazing the things you can do in your head! The day I said "Screw it" regarding my gender issues was the same day I said "I guess I want to have sex with guys too" it wasn't an epiphany it was a cessation of a life time of lying to myself, that was months before I started HRT. At that point I could imagine having sex with a man but really wasn't sure about being involved romantically. If Hormones changed anything in me that is what it changed, my desire to be romantic with a man. It just feels right now whereas before it seemed like it would be awkward. As it turns out I have only been with woman as a man and with a man as a woman so I am truly heterosexual and the rest of you are all freaks : P
    Last edited by Aprilrain; 09-29-2011 at 09:29 AM.

  11. #61
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    Could it possibly be that "all" the decent men want to be women?

  12. #62
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    You may be right, Karen. You know the saying: "[SIZE=1]Sometimes[/SIZE] the best man [SIZE=1]for the job[/SIZE] is a woman."
    Time for a change.

  13. #63
    Be free - overcome fear!
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    There is one thing I have heard about trans-women from their male partners where we do
    have it over natal females and that is apparently we do know how to really please a guy.

    So the best woman for the job, might turn out to really be a man

  14. #64
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melody Moore View Post
    There is one thing I have heard about trans-women from their male partners where we do
    have it over natal females and that is apparently we do know how to really please a guy.
    I don't doubt it!

    So maybe lesbians prefer natal women for the same reasons?
    Reine

  15. #65
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    First let's deal with the "disproportionate" part. Compared to what? Women in general? Your dealing with a very small subset of the general population so there's likely to be lots of things we aren't average in.

    From my reading I would say that part of it is timing. It seems that the majority of early transitioners (12-16 years old) end up being heterosexuals, ie interested in men. I'm sure the lack of a male puberty and the use of estrogen in the formative years have much to do with it. They are usually able to be socialized as young women and have a "normal" dating life in school.

    Contrast that with those of us who have lived 30-40 years as a male. I think the lowest percent might be 30% with some quoting 50% being lesbian identified. It's hard to fight testosterone and years of socialization and imprinted. I do agree that a.little fear probably enters into the equation too.
    Sally

  16. #66
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melody Moore View Post
    ...apparently we do know how to really please a guy...
    By turning into a pizza?

    Lallie
    Time for a change.

  17. #67
    Be free - overcome fear!
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    Quote Originally Posted by LALady View Post
    By turning into a pizza?

    Lallie
    Yes, now do you want Anchovies on that as well?

  18. #68
    That's right, I did it Sharon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melody Moore View Post
    Yes, now do you want Anchovies on that as well?
    Boy do I have a profoundly inappropriate joke as a response to that line.
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
    Marilyn Monroe

  19. #69
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    ^ You can PM it to me.
    Reine

  20. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharon View Post
    Boy do I have a profoundly inappropriate joke as a response to that line.
    So do I, but I guess I will just have to shut up too

  21. #71
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    could possibly be the little y in the xy genome that causes this even with hormones and srs, dna is still dna . xx full women xy partial women part man so even if u trick the body into thinking its xx its still xy , correct me if im wrong about that.

  22. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by danielle.cd View Post
    could possibly be the little y in the xy genome that causes this even with hormones and srs, dna is still dna . xx full women xy partial women part man so even if u trick the body into thinking its xx its still xy , correct me if im wrong about that.
    AIS women are xy and seem to be female gender identified and attracted to men for the most part. At least the few that have been public about their condition. I blame homophobia and intense conditioning of male-bodied young persons myself. But then again, show me the stats!
    It's Frances with an E, like Frances Farmer. Francis is a man's name.

  23. #73
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    But it's so hard to collect, and to be able to trust, those stats.

    Lallie
    Time for a change.

  24. #74
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danielle.cd View Post
    could possibly be the little y in the xy genome that causes this even with hormones and srs, dna is still dna . xx full women xy partial women part man so even if u trick the body into thinking its xx its still xy , correct me if im wrong about that.
    This assumes that xy chromosomes = male =likes females. what about gay people who have no gender identity issues what so ever and have assumably standard genes as well?

  25. #75
    That's right, I did it Sharon's Avatar
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    My feeling is that your gender preference of sexual partners is yours alone and it matters not what anyone else thinks. It doesn't even matter why your preference is what it is. Straight, gay, neither, or both, there should be no reprisals or explanations necessary. Of course, in the world we live in sexual orientation seems to matter to all too many people, but it's not only intrusive it is nobody's dang business.

    That said, I find it easily explainable as to why (male-to-) female transsexuals are more prevalently attracted to other females than is the general non-TS public. Most of us spent our formative years fighting the transsexuality within us; as a result we may have consciously or unconsciously chosen to be attracted to females because that was what was expected of men, most especially those who grew up in previous generations than those coming of age today. I know that I refused to look at men as potential mates or partners for most of my life, even after I began telling people about myself about six years ago. I did this even as I would catch myself looking at some men "that way" over the years. I finally decided that I was no longer capable of fooling myself about my preferences. But even now, I don't limit my opportunities to men alone.
    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
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