You're right. I'm guilty of having been hard on one of our admirer members. I did treat him with respect, but I couldn't sit by quietly and read his assertions that ALL CDs want men, since this just isn't true. It is because of this member that I tend to have a poor opinion of admirers in general and I need to be more objective about this.Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele
Reine
Jumping off of Kaitlyn's brilliant observations, it occurs to me that her guy who dressed on a "lark" may have been fishing for that Dom who will force him to subordinate and be her sissy. The forced fem fantasy is so ubiquitous that most of the TG sites feature it prominently.
The rainbow of human sexuality has every color and every shade and I suspect that's just the beginning. I can't help but think that we would all be so much healthier if we could just embrace the truth of who we are.
Neither can I Melissa, after all there are many people on this forum that wander the great divide of
gender & sexual diversity to find out what makes them happy in life. Even if I encounter something
I find a bit bizarre that old adage "Whatever tickles your fancy" keeps popping up in my head
Last edited by Melody Moore; 10-06-2011 at 12:44 PM.
"Judging a person does not define who they are - it defines who you are"
"Don't be so Serious, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me....... I'll laugh at you!"
"Haters don't really hate you, they hate themselves, because you are a reflection of what they want to be"
"The most happiest people in this world don't need the best of everything, they just make the best of everything"'
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Whatever tickles your fancy works for me. I don't care what someone's sexual preference is, and I respect people's choices. I like boys and girls. Even though I do like both, a man in a dress doesn't tickle my fancy, nor does a pre-op TS. I suppose that it's not the plumbing, but the way in which it is presented that does it for me sexually? I want my men to be men and my women to women. That's my little head trip.. YMMV
Kel
But Kelly your gender identity is in ones head. You can be a girl and still have a penis. Surely your being whats the word.......discrimatory against the pre-op women for not considering them full fledged women. Never mind what thier birth certificate says. LOL
Whatever tickles your fancy works for me. I don't care what someone's sexual preference is, and I respect people's choices. I like boys and girls. Even though I do like both, a man in a dress doesn't tickle my fancy, nor does a pre-op TS. I suppose that it's not the plumbing, but the way in which it is presented that does it for me sexually? I want my men to be men and my women to women. That's my little head trip.. YMMV
Kel
I know, and I so wish to be perfect and totally PC. I am flawed!
Last edited by kellycan27; 10-06-2011 at 03:12 PM.
Well played!adfadfasdfasdfasdfasdfsef
It's Frances with an E, like Frances Farmer. Francis is a man's name.
Yes, it was only a matter of time before "The Voice of Experience" checked in with more bigoted bile. I'm curious about how many of the esteemed Post-Ops considered themselves to be women before the final cut? Obviously Kate didn't as long as her birth certificate said otherwise, but I'm wondering about some of the others. Surely Kate isn't the ONLY person who has ever had a sex change.
The only thing worse than a bigot, is a bigot that hates their own kind.
To be brutally honest, for me ...the shame i felt (and sometimes still feel) about my transsexuality has been a major roadblock for me..
whether this impacts my thoughts or not, i don't know..
what i found pre - op to post - op was that my own internal sense of self became liberated... the shame became just a whisper, more about catholic guilt maybe... when i say liberated, i'm saying that i felt normal, when before i didn't.
it's interesting because prior to FFS, i was OBSESSED with surgery, i needed it, i wanted it...i had to have it!! it had to work!!!! the desperation of dysphoria and transition were overwhelming... the ffs helped me so much to pass/blend that this all went away..
i scheduled srs for a year later, i felt many self doubts about it... i wondered alot about the risk reward, and whether it was neccessary...i felt pretty good about myself and was functioning well in my new role.. but i still had my identity on my mind...
and i went through with it...
and what i found was something very surprising ..which was that it all just went away... as i sit today, i feel like changing gender is almost incomprehensible... that's the best way to describe it.. how can anyone do that??
it felt very different than before, in a surprising and wonderful way.. it is hard for me to imagine myself any differently than i am right now, and i spent my ENTIRE LIFE beforehand imagining what it was like to be different than i was...
btw...some time back, kate posted many times about how ffs was the most important thing..in the same very aggressive way...its interesting because although she expresses it differently , she has changed her tune quite alot..
I believe I said that FFS is the best bang for the buck for most trans girls. As far as getting SRS. In the past I have said that if someone claims to be TS they damm well better want to have srs or they are not TS.
true that 's what you said...but Kate, that goes totally goes against your idea that if you don't get srs you are just a girl with a penis...
that implies the NECESSARY condition is srs...so you can't really say both things..a gorgeous model's face on a woman with a penis is not getting the best bang for her buck ..
with credibility comes responsibility for your own logic...perhaps you would take back that statement..my ideas have certainly evolved over time and i happily admit it..that's what transition does...
I think it's safe to say most MtFs yearn for, dream of, are obsessed with the idea of, femaleness their whole life. Perhaps there is no way to tell whether the attraction to women is "lesbian" or truly Platonic, in the strict sense of the term; for gay GMs, it would almost certainly be Platonic, sems to me.
If I'm right, in addition to the heterosexual bias, there would be an MtF bias in favor of women as loving partners. I understand, however, that once a transsexual woman has had HRT and SRS, her figurative eggs may get scrambled.
Sorry, I haven't added much--but at least my new avatar is Alla Nazimova, early Hollywood star, patroness of the famed Garden of Alla (or Allah) just off the Sunset Strip, and lesbian.
Lallie
Last edited by Starling; 10-08-2011 at 04:58 AM. Reason: update and apology
Time for a change.
My guess it that most men stink..as in funkey..they smell like dirty oil and tacos ..and thats why alot of trans women would much rather spend time with another woman...
Joann
I'm attracted to tacos, but not to men. I've spent too much time with them already. Some of my best friends are men, but it's hard work to keep up the front.
Time for a change.
I really would like to have it out over this topic, so I am starting a new thread separately.
"Never forget the many ways there are to be human" (The Transsexual Taboo)
I don't think that either SRS or FFS defines you as a woman, and what
is best for someone really comes down to a matter or personal choice.
Anyway I cannot wait to see this show down Kathryn - so bring it on
"Judging a person does not define who they are - it defines who you are"
"Don't be so Serious, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me....... I'll laugh at you!"
"Haters don't really hate you, they hate themselves, because you are a reflection of what they want to be"
"The most happiest people in this world don't need the best of everything, they just make the best of everything"'
Find me on Facebook
Is it fair to say then that if you are walking down the street and a man walks up to you and says he is a woman. Do you take him to be a her? I mean sure what makes you what you are is in your head but at some point actions speak louder than words (especially in the real world). Hence I fall back to the fact that you can say all you want but till you are willing and prepared to take the steps to be who you claim to be.......... ya get the point hopefully.
And hey we were supposed to be talking about why so many ts girls are lesbian.
I don't think that either SRS or FFS defines you as a woman, and what
is best for someone really comes down to a matter or personal choice.
Anyway I cannot wait to see this show down Kathryn - so bring it on
I've had three relationships with men and countless dates with others.
My conclusion is that the overwhelming amount of men that I have met in my five years of full time living are filthy pigs.
Garish, emotionally unavailable slobs who wish nothing more than sex.
Most men turn my stomach.
The sex was fine but when it came to a long term loving relationship no one was home.
This is why I am in a relationship with a lesbian GG.
Just my two cents kids.
Julia
Julia, it looks like you and Kate have something in common!
Time for a change.
That is right, so why do YOU keep bringing this other crap up Kate?
"Judging a person does not define who they are - it defines who you are"
"Don't be so Serious, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me....... I'll laugh at you!"
"Haters don't really hate you, they hate themselves, because you are a reflection of what they want to be"
"The most happiest people in this world don't need the best of everything, they just make the best of everything"'
Find me on Facebook
Wait I'm not sure I understand this. Are you actually attracted to women or do you simply have relationships with them despite having no attraction because men are pigs, ect? This kinda thing only really makes sense to me if you are bisexual I guess? To me being a lesbian has nothing to do with what I actually do, but what I'm attracted to (which is 100% women.) I could theoretically have sex with a man out of convenience (probably could not actually go through with it blech) but it wouldn't make me hetero. It would have made me a lesbian who slept with a man for some other reason.
Last edited by Amber99; 10-09-2011 at 10:43 PM.
Hi!!
I've tasted enough men to know what I don't like and to find out what most men are like.
Yes I consider myself bisexual but lean much more towards women.
I'm intersexed and raised as a male. I've always been attracted to men but since experiencing the reality of most mens emotionally unavailable mindset I have based my own personal conclusion that most men that I have seen,dealt with, worked with and slept with are pigs.
Sex with them is just fine just don't expect anything beyond sex and you'll be just fine.
Use them and toss them aside.
Jaded? Yes. Disillusioned? Yes. Am I a realist? Yes that's why I'm in a relationship with a woman based on mutual love, respect and dignity.
Are there good men out there? I'm sure there are but I'm not self abasing enough to attempt to beat those astronomical odds.
Your mileage with men may vary but I sincerely doubt it.
If that doesn't clarify then I don't know what would. :O)
Julia
Wow Julie we do have a lot in common really. I too was born intersex and raised as a male.
If I am to be really honest I to also admit I have always had an attraction for men, but there was a couple
of things that stood in my way with that. First of all because I had the body of a male it just never felt right
to even think about anything with a male. I had one experience with a male in my early 20s I did really enjoy
because I didn't think of myself as a male in that situation - it was the first time I really accepted myself as
being a female sexuality.
The issue that held me back the most was trust I was sexually abused my a male cousin, violently abused by
my own father & also raped as a teenager. Also having grown up as a male means I am even more aware of
what guys are really like. So it has been really hard for me to develop trust in men. I am yet to find a guy that
really understands the meaning of love and commitment and thinks about a lot more than just his tiny penis.
And I am not attracted to guys who are dirty and smelly and unkempt in their appearance or carrying any sort
of emotional baggage or chip on their shoulder about women from past relationships. So that makes hard to find
a good man nowadays.
"Judging a person does not define who they are - it defines who you are"
"Don't be so Serious, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me....... I'll laugh at you!"
"Haters don't really hate you, they hate themselves, because you are a reflection of what they want to be"
"The most happiest people in this world don't need the best of everything, they just make the best of everything"'
Find me on Facebook
I found one first try! I chatted with a lot of losers online but this one guy who I was initially not interested in just kept taking an interest in me. He probably thought he didn't stand a chance. While I was consistently deleting guys from my messenger list I kept him because he was NONE of those things that Julie described (though I knew nothing of his personal hygiene at the time). He is sweet, kind, caring, funny and he puts up with me! As it turns out he's very clean about his person and car but his house is a total bachelor pad and in serious need of a woman's touch and bleach!
I thankfully have never been mishandled by anyone but i don't think having been plays into wether one is attracted to men or not. My ex wife was sexually abused by several men growing up and raped as a teenager. She has never been even remotely interested in woman. I'm sure millions of people have had similar experiences. We just like what we like and it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I think its perfectly legitimate to be sexually attracted to both sexes but only be interested in a relationship with one or the other. Julie congratulations on finding someone who meets your needs.
Thank you April. :O)
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