any bad experiences being out in public.

[cassandra54]

i was telling my SO about sue's busy weekend. i told her that nobody really notices us when were out.

so she asks me, and i'm asking you has anyone every had BAD experiences being out in public?

[Karren H]

Nope. Not really. Most have been great... No one cared and those that I come in contact are always pleasant. Ok there was this one time I got yelled at by the casino security guard for taking photos of myself on the casino floor.. "Excuse me ma'am...". Lol. But he was really nice about it.

[Staci G]

In the mall I ran into a group of teenagers that thought it would be cool to laugh at the guy in a dress. I settled it with the oldest and biggest one of the bunch, when I left they were laughing at him.
I tend to stay away from malls during the weekend after that.

[NathalieX66]

Nope.....not yet.
Really.

Look at it this way: even if you are someone with less than flattering attributes, like let's say you are about the size of Shaquille O'Neal, you are still making someone's sad and dull life interesting when you are out & about. Most of us are somewhere between Shaq and Jennifer Anniston. Interact with people and be happy and confident. It will rub off.

[tiffanyjo89]

Some smaller "mom and pop" type shops would probably not be so kind towards crossdressers, as they tend to have to fight to even keep a consistent customer base while at the same time building one...some "female clothing boutiques" (if you will, I say that because some are merely used clothing stores...) tend to only have one set of fitting rooms...and they tend to not have many males even set foot in them. Someone who is a very presentable CD might not stir anything up, but an unpassable CD might.

Walmart / Target / the mall can afford one or two stir ups within a reasonable time period without losing business, since so many people go in and out. A smaller store wouldn't have such a luxury since they struggle during certain months.

[dilane]

Well, it obviously depends on if you pass...a snotty rude person won't say anything to a (percieved) woman, but oh boy, if you're read, they'll be all over you. Fortunately, only a minority of people are snotty and rude. That's one reason it's so important to pass if you want to mix it up in public.

Unfortunately, facial features and body type are inherited (although you can at least lose weight to help with the latter).

Fortunately, most people, if they read you, just give you a stare, or maybe whisper something to their companions.

[Karen__Starr]

Last month I went to my regular food store dressed as a man and got some interesting looks which for me was not a great experience. I did not think that would of had happen.

[Eryn]

I'm not very experienced at being in public, but I can't think of a bad experience. A few bumbles and mistakes on my part, but nothing caused by another. I steeled myself for the worst, but it never happened!

Interacting with men is a bit odd, though. They tend to look at me a few inches lower than I'm used to in male mode...

[Sophie86]

My friend Christy had a bad experience at Ross last November. I read another thread yesterday about a girl who was stopped at a seat belt check in Georgia and discovered that due to a snafu with her insurance company, her license had been suspended. She was arrested and held over night. During frisking and processing it came out that she was underdressed. The cops were not nice about it.

The good stories are far more common than the bad stories, but bad things occasionally happen.

[Miss Maxine]

I have had only one. I was still active duty Air Force, at the time. I got off work, one afternoon, and Missa and I decided to go to the BX to do some quick shopping. I wore a nice polo shirt, pencil skirt, and heeled boots. The next day at work, both my supervisor and NCOIC told me that they had received several phone calls from people that recognized me, in the BX. By the end of the week, I was in my commander's office, in full service dress, being told that my appearance would bring bad press to the military and that I was not allowed to wear skirts on base. That left a lasting negative impression on me, concerning military leadership and the rules they impose. I still haven't quite gotten over it.

[thechic]

Sometimes criticized when out working on a job for a client, our company gets rung up for making a woman do a mans job ,and the job needs a man,also get quiestioned on what im doing,to many male chauvinistic people around in my trade.

[erickka]

Not really. Back in the beginning of my public excursions, a few snickers, but that's about it.

[Vicky_Scot]

Im am over 6ft so blending in becomes a problem. I have been out numerous time shopping in busy towns and cities dressed and I have had stares, comments like is that a guy, had people follow me and drag their partners round to show me to them, had pointed fingers, giggles etc.

The way I see it is if someone has to take a second look I must be doing something right.

What you mighty have noticed is I have not had any negative or abusive comments or any threats or violence towards me when I have been out and about.

So I totally agree with Nathalie

Look at it this way: even if you are someone with less than flattering attributes, like let's say you are about the size of Shaquille O'Neal, you are still making someone's sad and dull life interesting when you are out & about.

[DAVIDA]

Yes, well, almost.
I was in a restaurant once and when we got up to leave, my skirt headed toward the floor!
I caught it just in time to prevent others from seeing that I was under-dressed too!

[Cynthia Anne]

Small town Ladys shoe store, 1988! I went in there 'dressed' to purchase a pair of heels! The older ''lady'' didn't want me shopping in her store! Instead of telling me ''she'' called the police! On the way out I said to her that I'm sorry that my money wasn't good enough for her!

[JenniLyn]

Went to jc pennys and had some teenagers follow me until I was at the checkout counter. That was when I knew future shopping trips I would have to look my best. At 6'1 I am a tall woman.

[kimdl93]

so far, nothing terribly upsetting. An adolescent girl giggled a bit, but her mom was very friendly. I don't take great offense at immaturity from a child. Probably would be more offended if it was an adult.

[Chickhe]

Nope. The only negative was once when I tried using my natural hair instead of a wig and an older couple in the store stopped and looked and pointed at me from the end of the isle is amusement... until they saw me look their way, then they scurried away. Otherwise, I would have to say, the largest issue is my own attitude...stress, worry and keeping a smile on my face. Once you realize nothing bad will happen its easier to look happy. When you look happy people are more positive toward you.

[eluuzion]

Well, this story is long and a bit off the track...but it was out in public and definitely a bad experience...so I will share it.

Just over a week ago I made the stupid decision to drive 1200 miles back to the Midwest for a funeral instead of flying. Since the “festivities” were over the night before I decided to make it a CD road-trip home to Denver, since I could dress in my room before departure. (17 hour drive...only about 14 hours if you drive 90mph, ).

I got up, spent a half hour getting all tricked out and was out the door of my hotel and on my way...5” pumps, LBD, stocked cooler and as unbelievable as it was...just a cloudy day instead of the typical rain. I am going to just skip ahead about 5 hours into my trip and get to the “good” part of my story.

I won’t share specifics since I am not sure just who might end up reading this re-cap.
I was on I-xx going the speed limit, minding my own business when I came over the last rolling hill of the road just outside the city limits of a major city. There in the median between the highways sat an intimidating looking unmarked patrol SUV. For whatever reason, my sixth-sense Murphy’s Law feeling kicked in just as I passed by the patrol vehicle.

I looked back in the rear view mirror...and sure enough...the SUV pulled out, whipped around and headed out in my direction behind me. I immediately went into red alert mode...steering with my body as I franticly ripped off my heels, LBD, panty hose and wig and tried to change into my shorts/tee shirt on the passenger seat. (Before they caught up close enough to see me changing).

By the time I had my shorts & shirt on...they were riding in the passing lane next to me, about a car length behind me. No flashing lights...yet. Then they kicked it and blew right by me. At that point I reached over the cooler in the passenger seat to grab the LBD I tossed on the floor. As I was reaching I hit the gear shift and knocked the tranny into neutral! I had no choice but to pull off to the side, stop to a dead stop, and shift it back into drive. (Just what I needed...make a “scene”...).

So, after I accomplished that, I was back on the road again. Just as I cleared the next rolling hill...there was the SUV sitting in the crossover ahead of me. As soon as I passed by...they pulled out and headed my way again...this time with lights flashing. A minute later I was handing over my license, reg and insurance card to an officer sticking his head in my passenger window, who informed me that I was “straddling” the white line going down the interstate (which was absolutely not true). Then, he glanced in the back seat and saw my wig on the back seat... www.dramabutton.com ...

He asked me who the wig belonged to... In my hypnotized road trip state of mind, I blurted out...”It’s my daughter’s”. Wrong answer... He asked me to get out of my vehicle, and the nightmare began...

By the time I came around the back side of my car the other “agent” was there to start questioning me, while one was in the SUV running my data. Both dressed in black jeans, black tee-shirts, black caps, weapons strapped to the lower leg (swat team-ish scenario) and of course...the standard dark “Terminator” sunglasses. These guys were not State Troopers and it was not a Crown Victoria they were driving. These two were on a mission...and I was some how part of it...

There I was standing there at the side of the road, in my shorts/tee shirt with face make-up on...let the games begin...

After returning with my license/etc. the “big guy” repeated his BS reason for pulling me over as “concern for my ability to drive”, then started in with his 50 questions...25 of them being the same ones I just answered a minute ago for his partner. It quickly became obvious that they were convinced I was a drug runner transporting drugs from the East to the West coast, and they were on a mission to become station house “heroes” by busting me.

They started in on the only flimsy justification they could think of...which was the fact that my legs were shaved, eyebrows lined, had make-up on and the wig was “obviously” mine. (Which meant I “lied”). (when I was talking with the younger agent alone, I managed to get him to slip up and mention that my vehicle “fit the profile of a drug runner”>>>>Sports car, custom spoiler on back, tinted glass, my Colorado plate encased in a frame that said “Fort Lauderdale xxxxx” (Florida, where I bought the car and had a condo). All this added up to me fitting the “profile” of a drug trafficker. Go figure...

15 more minutes of trying to trip me up with tricky questions, implicating comments about being a CD and trying to convince me I should “just be honest with them and “own up to the truth” about the wig being mine and what I was really doing driving my car... (Which I of course, I refused to confirm and denied having anything to do with any of their “suggestions”). Next came the “mind if we have a look in your vehicle” question, after they had sufficiently intimidated me, which was quickly followed by shoving a “written consent" form and a pen in my hand and pointing to where I "needed to sign it". I foolishly decided to consent rather than refuse the search...because I wanted to get home ASAP.

Twenty minutes later, my entire luggage and contents of my car were emptied out on the side of the Interstate being attacked by every insect in an entomology manual, lol. They even tore apart my large carry luggage, because they were convinced it was “too heavy” when it was empty. (It had a built-in handle/roller wheel assembly). They discovered my pellet pistol (legal to carry in car) in one of the bags in my trunk, which seemed to be a disappointment upon discovering it was just a pellet gun...and ejected the loaded clip which landed in a pile of dirt on the ground. After coming up empty handed, I endured about 10 more minutes of mind twisting interrogation from them, trying to get me to just “be straight with them about being a Crossdresser with a drug problem”. (It was now about 50 minutes since I was first pulled over).

I continued to admit to nothing and deny everything associated with their objective. I finally just advised them there was nothing to “admit to”, I cooperated fully, I did not have anything to do with drugs.................and it was time for them to go ahead and do whatever they needed to do about it...because it was time for me to call my attorney. They both went back inside their vehicle, after advising me they had to “check in with their supervisor” or whatever the title was....to let him make the call.

They left me standing next to my empty trunk watching bugs invade my clothes on the ground for about 5 minutes...then came out again. They advised me they were going to “cut me a break” this time and to “take off”. I proceeded to pile my stuff back in the trunk and car while doing my best impression of being the incredibly grateful recipient of the generosity of the two for letting me “go”.

After making sure I did not stop until I was out of that politically dysfunctional state, my curiosity got the best of me... I stopped at a rest area, went back to the trunk, and searched everywhere for my pellet gun. Guess what?...it was not there. Gee, what a cough,cough...“surprise”. I guess they just forgot to put it back, eh? Go figure...

Anyway, I know there are several members of law enforcement here...I am not meaning to cast any generalized negative shadows on them or their duties/credibility...
Somebody has to keep an eye what little common sense behavior is left in this twisted moral society we live in these days. It is just like any issue, circumstance or contact with various other organizations and companies unrelated to law enforcement... “s**t happens” sometimes in the course of trying to do the right thing.

“Sometimes you are the Dog...Sometimes you are the Hydrant”. Just another day in Paradox...

So, there is my story. No, there was no cop making me perform oral sex or anything like some of the other law enforcement confabulation recap nonsense that people have posted on this forum, lol.

Hey, I said it was my story, I never said it was going to be an interesting one...

Carry on Citizens...lol.

[StaceyJane]

Once a small girl blurted out in a store "that's a man!"

other than that I have had no problems and I live right in the middle of Texas and have gone to some very public places.

[Kittyagain]

Eluuzion, that was just plain scary.

Kitty

[sandra-leigh]

Yes, it does happen.

About two weeks ago, I was speaking to a couple of transitioning gals. One of them in particular says she gets negative remarks or bad treatment or outright threats pretty much every day. For example, a guy bicycling by, riding on the sidewalk she was walking on, threatened to knife her if she didn't cross over to the other side of the street (moving off on to the grass wasn't sufficient for him!)

I haven't had anything that bad happen. I've had some annoying things happen like being followed crossing a street by a fellow who said "I know your secret!". There was another time when I was followed as I was walking down the road, by a guy driving a car, who was taking pictures of me and calling out to me things like, "You're cute! Do you want some work at a party later tonight?"

I've also been in some potentially dangerous situations. There is a spot in the city where I have now twice been called after / put down by a gang (and I mean that in the sense of an organized violent group with a gang name and connections to organized crime.) They didn't bother to follow up either time, but I could tell both times that it would not have taken much at all for one of them to get pushy at the very least. Another time, a group of high-school boys threatened me as I walked through an overpass between two malls. A different time, a large and obese boy of perhaps 11 years old started talking very loud about how he hated me and wanted to kill me and wanted to crush my head; he was trying to attract the attention of other passers-by, hoping that they would join in.

I don't recall the other things at the moment.

On the other hand, I have also been treated quite well or even simply just been left alone in places where one would normally expect trouble.

[Kaz]

When ou in public I have 'felt' uncomfortable by the looks of some guys, but so far so good... no 'looks' from women. But those looks did phase me out and I lost confidence.

The big story I want to recall is the guy at work who has come out and is CDing every day. He got immediate acceptance in his office area.. this built his confidence... I had the great pleasure of sitting with him at a recent black tie work event, and at a recent informal social event, as well as seeing the office team regularly. He walks about the building 'bold as brass' and is 100% accepted. Not the same on the streets apparently... but nothing major.

I am amazed by his acceptance and I need to get braver!

[Ellyn]

One obvious thing to do is carry a cell phone preferably with quick dial, set to 911. Where I live you can get 6 years for threatening. With a knike involved, a charge of assault would be more likely even if the victim was not knifed. The second thing is also obvious as well; keeping out of bad areas, such as "a spot in the city..". is essential to anyone, man woman or child who wishes to continue breathing. I had a friend, now deceased, who had a nephew who was warned to keep out of "a spot in the city", and disobeyed so he could go with his friends to watch Asian gangs fight a turf war, and he was shot by a stray bullet. Neither Police or Emergency Medical would enter the scene to rescue him, and he bled to death on the sidewalk. He was 14.

[sissystephanie]

I have been a crossdresser for some 70 years!! In all that time I have never has one single negative remark made to me. Sure, they may have been made but not so I could hear them!! And I have been out dressed enfemme in just about any location you can think of!! I go out now dressed totally enfemme. but with no wig or makeup!! So I am obviously a man dressed enfemme!! Still no comments. People don't care, as long as long as you are dressed more or less decently!