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Thread: Stressing already about woman-only event tomorrow

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Amanda22's Avatar
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    Unhappy Stressing already about woman-only event tomorrow

    Yeah, I go out in public every few days dressed en femme. I do fine blending and I've come to the point where it's not a huge deal.

    But...tomorrow evening, the local museum is having a "Girl's Night Out" event with a few service vendors (clothing, makeup, spa, etc.) present. My forum friend Rachel Morley has given me good advice and support on this, as has my wife. My wife said, "what's the problem, you're a woman, aren't you?" My wife and I are going together.

    Out of fear, I emailed the organizer and explained that I'm transgender, just to warn her when she sees a 6 foot 3 "girl" with an unfeminine voice approaching. She said I was more than welcome and that my gender misidentification is no one's business. She said she's looking forward to meeting me. Crap, what have I started?

    This will be my first woman-only event. I'm not so much afraid of being read by women, but that there could be a reaction as though a male is trying to crash their event. Scares the heck out of me to the point I'm dreading it but will do it anyhow because I'm committed. I'll post tomorrow night on whether I survived...

  2. #2
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    relax go have fun. act like you belong, become one with the girls... Enjoy
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
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    Your wife is going with you and the organizer has welcommed you relax! Better yet stay, nervous but get a mani pedi to relax you and then be relaxed!! You have a GG escort, that is almost like being a card carrying GG.

  4. #4
    *Kisses and Best Wishes* Wendy_Marie's Avatar
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    Amanda,
    Go make us all proud Hun...this would be a dream come true for so many of us.
    [SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
    Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
    To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.

  5. #5
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    Amanda, the only trouble you will be in is if you go then don't share what a great time you had with us.

    You Avatar is cute as it can be with the wonderful smile. Make sure you take that smile with you and they will love you.

    Kitty

  6. #6
    Member Dami's Avatar
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    You will do fine, I think you will probably be very surprised and I can't wait to hear about it on here.
    Take pics! I want to see one with you and a couple other ladies in it all smiling having a great time!

    Dami

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
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    Amanda, relax and enjoy. You're cute, you have a great SO and I predict that, although certainly you'll be "read" by you'll be well accepted as one of the women there. Have fun

  8. #8
    amy wanagione's Avatar
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    Go for it and have fun!

  9. #9
    Member VickysBFF's Avatar
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    Amanda: I have attended several "women only" events and have never had any problems or issues. Go and have fun and don't worry!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amanda22 View Post
    This will be my first woman-only event. I'm not so much afraid of being read by women, but that there could be a reaction as though a male is trying to crash their event. Scares the heck out of me to the point I'm dreading it but will do it anyhow because I'm committed. I'll post tomorrow night on whether I survived...
    Hi Amanda. First let me say that I am very proud of you! This is great and sounds like great fun!

    There is a woman's only cycling event that I REALLY want to ride in. I think that I would do exactly what you did - contact the organizers and explain that I am transgendered and simply want to attend the event. If they don't have an issue with it then that is that!

    Go and have fun!

    Debby

  11. #11
    Gold Member
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    Women tend to be more accepting of TS women.
    I don't think it has as much to do with passability as it does the fact that decent people are more respectful. I mean like me, I live full time and I know I don't pass that great but people just kind of accept me.

    I also imagine the REAL reason it is listed as a "girl's night" event is they don't want trolling men trying to cruise for dates.
    Being how you not only present as a woman but will be with a GG who is your WIFE, I don't foresee you having any issues.

    Expect to be treated like one of the girls. You will have fun, you should be excited, not worried.

    EDIT - I don't know if it is "women only" like I first posted but I am kind of assuming?
    Last edited by Nicole Erin; 09-28-2011 at 09:12 PM.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  12. #12
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    Relax and enjoy. A couple of my friends attended a similar event in Boston last Spring and had a fantastic time. They were treated very well by everyone.
    Sally

  13. #13
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    You lucky lady you! Have fun! You deserve it! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  14. #14
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    Give a report please! How did it go?

  15. #15
    Member Dami's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lisakay View Post
    Give a report please! How did it go?
    I know it's killing me I'm dying to hear about it! Hopefully she had so much fun she's still sleeping.

    Dami

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member Amanda22's Avatar
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    Hello Friends! The event is tonight. I want to let you all know that your comments and PMs have meant so much to me and have calmed me down. I can't thank you enough. I promise I'll report on all the details either late tonight or first thing tomorrow morning. Love you all!

  17. #17
    *Kisses and Best Wishes* Wendy_Marie's Avatar
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    Love you too Amanda..now get yourself all prettified and go have some fun.
    [SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
    Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
    To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.

  18. #18
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    What's your restroom plan?

  19. #19
    Just Me xristy's Avatar
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    Restroom plan? If you are presenting yourself as a girl, you use the girls room... lol

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by xristy View Post
    Restroom plan? If you are presenting yourself as a girl, you use the girls room... lol
    That would be my approach as well, but telegraphing ones TG staus ahead of time may complicate things. I would still use the restroom of my gender presentation but in the future would consider not informing others ahead of time my gender-variant status. I qualify this comment by stating that i have done just what Amanda did in the past.

  21. #21
    Member Vanessa Storrs's Avatar
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    The event is being held in a museum, you will be welcomed. If it were an event sponsored by SCUM (the Society for Cutting Up Men-one of their members shot
    Andy Warhol) being held at a shooting range I would have some reservations. The restroom is a non-issue, when women go to the restroom they go in groups, if you need to go take your wife.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Amanda22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReneeT View Post
    That would be my approach as well, but telegraphing ones TG staus ahead of time may complicate things. I would still use the restroom of my gender presentation but in the future would consider not informing others ahead of time my gender-variant status. I qualify this comment by stating that i have done just what Amanda did in the past.
    Hi Renee, great point. I'm such a newbie but I see that you are right about not telegraphing my status in advance. Better to just "be."

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Amanda22's Avatar
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    Brief version:
    I'm still on Cloud 9 after Girl's Night Out at the museum last night. The experience was fulfilling, fun, and exceeded my hopes of a great time.

    Detailed version:
    My wife and I dressed casually in skinny jeans, heels, and cute tops. We arrived right at the beginning of the 2-hour event. I showed my membership card with my male name on it and the girl checking IDs just smiled and wished me a good time. We walked in, heels clicking loudly on the hard floor. I loved that. We stopped at the drink counter, ordering wine. The female bartender just treated me like any girl! We grabbed some hors d'oeuvres and sat at a small table. For some odd reason, I was so nervous. Ugh, I hate that. Wine helped me relax. Ladies representing various vendors at the show were circulating among the guests and stopped by our table to invite us to their booths. I was very aware that they all made great eye contact with me and looked at me as much as they did my wife. I think it was because I didn't "shrink" from the encounters. We finished our snacks and my wife noticed two colleagues come in. None of her professional colleagues know about me. So we knew we'd have to do something. After a couple of minutes of thought, my wife and I decided to just be honest with them. She walked across the atrium to them and the three of them chatted a few minutes. I remained at our table. I have known one of them for a few years and and had never met the other one. After a few minutes, all three walked over to me. The woman who I've known for awhile held out her hand and introduced herself! I loved that. I introduced myself back to her. The other woman and I made our introductions, too. The four of us had about half an hour of chatting and drinking wine. I loved it. It really was what I'd call girl talk.

    Then the fashion show started and it was so much fun to watch. We commented to each other about the fashions being worn by the models. After the fashion show, the models stopped by our table just to say "hi" and chat. That was all so much fun. I was really being treated like an authentic female. After they left, I browsed some of the vendors and spoke with two ladies who own a spa which performs hair removal. They had to know I'm a male. I told them I really want to get rid of my facial hair permanently. They were very accommodating and explained what they can do for me. I told them I'd be contacting them for a consultation in their spa and they were thrilled by that. An observer would have thought they help crossdressers remove hair every day.

    There were lots of women of all ages, from very young to middle aged, and I honestly think 90% of them thought I was a GG. This was just a wonderful evening and I owe my wife so much for letting me be myself.

    Later, on the drive home, my wife recounted the conversation she had with her colleagues. She said she told them that she was there with someone they haven't met yet, but do know sometimes as "Andy." She said I'm one of those people who should have born into a body of the other gender, and that often I present myself that way. The woman who already knew me said, "That's great! You get the best of both worlds; a husband sometimes and a girlfriend other times." My wife told them she couldn't be happier with our relationship.

  24. #24
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    Mandy, as always....kudos to your fabulous wife! And what a great experience to be out and living life as women together. It must have felt so great to be able to blend in with the other ladies and just be yourself! I also am impressed with the two acquaintances for recognizing just how good it can be to have someone that can bring the best of both worlds to a relationship.

  25. #25
    *Kisses and Best Wishes* Wendy_Marie's Avatar
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    I am happy that you had such a wonderful and fun filled evening...
    [SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
    Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
    To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.

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