Missed opportunities?

[Stacey Summer]

I've been seeing alot of posts about SO's, supportive or otherwise and it brings to mind a missed opportunity for me. 10 years ago when I was 18 my girlfriend at the time was everything I wanted. She was beautiful, funny and smart enough to hold a decent and intelligent conversation with me. She was also a gamer which was a massive bonus, lol.

One night she suggested that I wear her underwear during an, er, intimate moment. Despite the fact that all i wanted to do was jump at the chance, my suspicious side immediately conjured an image of Admiral Ackbar shouting "It's a trap!" and so I refused. We lasted about a year and during that time I got certain hitns from her that she'd like to do that and more in regards to dressing. However I was still trying to sort out what being a CD meant for myself and I couldn't make that leap.

I sometimes look back at that with huge regret because if I'd had the courage to say yes I might still be with her and having the time of my life with a fuly supportive and encouraging SO.

Has anyone else had something similar or any missed opportunities that they regret?

Stacey.

[Karren H]

The only big one I have... From up at college. I got a date with this local girl who wore the same size clothes as I did and after the date we were having some fun in my car in her driveway when her mother interrupted us. Come to find out her mom thought she was her younger sister and interrupted us by mistake. Local girls were well know for trying to get hitched to a college guy and get out of there. Lol. But she had invited me to go to a wedding with her the next weekend... And I said I would call her but forgot... Its very ethnic Finish and Polish up there. And my biggest regret to this date was not going to that wedding with her because she was going to teach me to polka!! Damn... I really wanted to learn.. Still don't know how... "Roll out the barrel.....". Sigh.

[kimdl93]

Never missed an opportunity like the OP. My big mistakes were all opportunities taken in impulse.

[Kittyagain]

The only big one I have... From up at college. I got a date with this local girl who wore the same size clothes as I did and after the date we were having some fun in my car in her driveway when her mother interrupted us. Come to find out her mom thought she was her younger sister and interrupted us by mistake. Local girls were well know for trying to get hitched to a college guy and get out of there. Lol. But she had invited me to go to a wedding with her the next weekend... And I said I would call her but forgot... Its very ethnic Finish and Polish up there. And my biggest regret to this date was not going to that wedding with her because she was going to teach me to polka!! Damn... I really wanted to learn.. Still don't know how... "Roll out the barrel.....". Sigh.

I was flipping through channels and ran across a polka dance program. From the advanced age of the people there, I would guess polka dancing is just a couple of years away from being a dance of the past.

Kitty

[kimdl93]

My apologies to the OP but I remember the old time dances in my home town in Minnesota. Polkas, shoddishes, waltzing and something called the butterfly. Everyone danced, old and young alike. Its passed away now, like the oldtimers themselves.

[Karren H]

I was flipping through channels and ran across a polka dance program. From the advanced age of the people there, I would guess polka dancing is just a couple of years away from being a dance of the past.

Kitty

Noooo. Now I'm really regretting it... Lol. They have a polka radio show on Saturdays in SW Pa... Up at college they had one too "Polka Rendezvous". Doo do do do de do.... "I don't want her... You can have her... She's to fat for me"..

http://www.last.fm/music/Frankie+Yan.../Too+Fat+Polka

And they always wear the cutest dresses when they polka!!!

[Tina B.]

Karren, the dance is not about the clothes, but then I always wanted a square dance outfit even if I don't dance, love all that tulle!
Tina B.

[Cynthia Anne]

I can think of no missed opportunities that I regret! I've had plenty of them to make a complete fool of myself! Never missed a one! Hugs!

[Karren H]

Karren, the dance is not about the clothes, but then I always wanted a square dance outfit even if I don't dance, love all that tulle!
Tina B.

Everything is about the clothes!!! if it wasn't we'd have very little to talk about! Lol.

[Wendy_Marie]

Theres a Polkas show my Mom and dad use to watch on cable access called "The Big Joe Polka Show." Use to drive me crazy.

[Gillian Gigs]

We can all look back at missed opportunities with regret. If we spend to much time doing that, then we miss out on life as it is happening now, which would lead to more regret.

[Leslie Langford]

The only big one I have... From up at college. I got a date with this local girl who wore the same size clothes as I did and after the date we were having some fun in my car in her driveway when her mother interrupted us. Come to find out her mom thought she was her younger sister and interrupted us by mistake. Local girls were well know for trying to get hitched to a college guy and get out of there. Lol. But she had invited me to go to a wedding with her the next weekend... And I said I would call her but forgot... Its very ethnic Finish and Polish up there. And my biggest regret to this date was not going to that wedding with her because she was going to teach me to polka!! Damn... I really wanted to learn.. Still don't know how... "Roll out the barrel.....". Sigh.

Well, Karren, there's always the "chicken dance" to work on instead...

BTW, you'd have looked lovely in a dirndl at that "ethnic" wedding. Big time lost opportunity - sounds as if a barrel full of regret has since rolled over you!

[Schatten Lupus]

I've had many missed opportunities. I've met other TS people, have a FtM friend, a friend that is very supportive, and in school I have had one teacher who is a therapist and has counseled a MtF TS. Another teacher who had a MtF TS as a guest speaker to the class. One of my teachers this semester is one of the nicest guys I have ever met and doesn't do "the discrimination thing" as he calls it. And my anthropology teacher (who is a cutie) didn't go into much detail, but did briefly explain transgenderism, a short description of the transition process, and how many cultures especially among Native Americans accepted them as a third sex.

[linda allen]

"Missed opportunities?"

Nothing big, but a couple times my wife and I have been talking about her (large) boobs and she has said "You ought to try lugging these things around all day!" Well, I missed that opportunity. In retrospect I should have said I would buy a pair and wear them. Or at least put on one of her bras and fill it with two bags of rice or birdseed.

Once I ran out of clean underwear away from home. She said "You could wear a pair of mine." In retrospect, I should have taken her up on her offer, then commented on how nice they felt. I might have been able to get some of my own.

Opportunity I didn't miss (I'm getting better at it): My wife has this sack dress or "Moo Moo" that she wears around the house before she gets dressed in the morning or in the evening after she showers. I've been complaining about it for years. She responds with "It's comfortable." Finally, a few weeks ago, I told her that if it was so comfortable, I wanted one too. She went and got me one of hers and I put it on. I wore it just like she wears hers, after showering and before bed. I told her it was too short and the next day she came home with two of them just for me.

So now I'm walking around the house in front of her in a dress that she bought me.

[AllieSF]

Like any missed opportunity in life, it is not that we missed it, but rather, now that we have missed it what did we learn from that moment? I hope that I have learned to try to better recognize an opportunity that is staring me in the face, whatever part of my life it affects. Obviously, I still have a lot more to learn!

[Ozark]

I like that show! I watch it whenever I catch it on RFD tv while I am down at the lake.

Lots of polka shows on RFD TV!

[FeliciaGurrl]

I've been seeing alot of posts about SO's, supportive or otherwise and it brings to mind a missed opportunity for me. 10 years ago when I was 18 my girlfriend at the time was everything I wanted. She was beautiful, funny and smart enough to hold a decent and intelligent conversation with me. She was also a gamer which was a massive bonus, lol.

One night she suggested that I wear her underwear during an, er, intimate moment. Despite the fact that all i wanted to do was jump at the chance, my suspicious side immediately conjured an image of Admiral Ackbar shouting "It's a trap!" and so I refused. We lasted about a year and during that time I got certain hitns from her that she'd like to do that and more in regards to dressing. However I was still trying to sort out what being a CD meant for myself and I couldn't make that leap.

I sometimes look back at that with huge regret because if I'd had the courage to say yes I might still be with her and having the time of my life with a fuly supportive and encouraging SO.

Has anyone else had something similar or any missed opportunities that they regret?

Stacey.

Wow, I can totally relate to that. For me it was about 15 years ago and pretty much the same scenario, a request to incorporate her 'delicates' into an intimate moment. I just didn't have the courage to give it a go. I don't think the relationship would have continued, but I do regret not taking advantage of that (possibly) rare opportunity.

[Vanessa Storrs]

There is nothing I regret about crossdressing. I do regret many missed opportunities to dress.

[Beverley Sims]

My missed opportunity was when I was 20, thought I had hair on my chest and dated a girl that shared a house with 2 Gay? men.
They were crossdressers not gay.
They had a wardrobe full of clothes and were very proud of the collection.
They knew that I knew so were open about it.
One day "the conversation" came up. You would look good in this or this and so it went on.
I would have loved the makeover, but I had the girlfriend and the hairs on my chest(I thought.)
A few days later my girlfriend asked why I turned the boys down?
My reply,"I'm not into that sort of thing the boys are ok though.)
Talk about a hypocrite... Damn!!!

[Kathy4ever]

I regret that when i was seperated from my first wife and getting a divorce I was dating this girl and she asked me if I ever dressed. I said no. I still wonder where that would of lead too if i said yes. She was a very free sprited woman. Till this day a think about about often.

[lauraabdl]

Everything is about the clothes!!! if it wasn't we'd have very little to talk about! Lol.

I totally agree it all about the clothes. I have four of those 50thes tulle slips and pettipanties to match, never know when there will be a 5oths dance or a square dance

[DebbieL]

I have had dozens of missed opportunities, and probably many more than that.

I had a number of girls in high school who were attracted to me BECAUSE I was so femme. At the same time, even though I could barely pass as a guy, I was afraid that if I admitted that I wanted to dress up like a girl, that the bullying and beatings would start up all over again. Even though I had a horribly low bass singing voice, I had a very high speaking voice, and when I got excited it got even higher. A number of girls tried to seduce me, and loved that I would go down on them with very little encouragement, but every time they tried to reciprocate, I was too ticklish or it was just painful or just not working. As a result, my girlfriends often shared me with other girls. A few noticed that I really loved it when they dressed up, and that I liked the feel of their stockings. They would joke in front of me and other people about putting me in a dress, but I was afraid I'd get hurt, and they were afraid of rejection. Looking back on it, there were several girls, especially older girls, who really would have liked to feminize me completely.

I loved the theater, and was a Drama Jock in high school and a theater major in college. I auditioned for two drag roles my Senior year. The first was for Grandma Burnsides in "Mame", and the second was charlie in "Charlie's Aunt". When I didn't get the roles, I was very disappointed. A few days later, the drama teacher told me, in private, that she didn't cast me because I looked too much like a girl and the role called for someone who would still look like a guy.

In truth or dare, I was frequently asked open ended questions where I could have volunteered information, but I kept my little secret. I wasn't attracted to boys, but I was afraid that if I told the others, several of whom were gay boys, that they would want to dress me up and seduce me.

In College, I went to school with 900 women and 25 men. I literally became "one of the girls". Freshman year, they noticed that I liked to wear softer tights and women's leotards to the dance classes. I told them I liked the way they felt. Just before the end of the year, they have me two magazines, one was of cross-dressers, the other was female domination. I was both pleased and ashamed. I was afraid that if they knew I liked to cross-dress, they might kick me out. I had once lover in school, but I never even took my pants off with her, but I knew how to drive her completely nuts. I was her "Lesbian Lover". Then she would go find a "real man" with at least 8 inches, and spend the night with him. I only had 4 inches in the best of circumstances. She tried to get me to dress like a girl for Halloween, but at the last minute I chickened out and went as a clown instead. When we got to the party, there was a guy who was beautifully dressed as a very beautiful girl. I tried to talk to him, but he was too busy dancing with the girls. The girls were so nice about it, but they said some things that scared me, and I was afraid to tell them that I wanted to be that pretty.

A couple of times in college, the girls would make up the boys. I walked in on a few of these "make-up sessions", and the girls would offer to do me. Unfortunately, it was almost always when I had a class to go to, or a lot of homework to do, so I had to pass. I really wish I had taken them up on it.

My last summer in College, I worked at a dinner theater. There was one guy who would say "Whip me, beat me, make me write bad checks", and said that I was more like "Whip me, beat me, make me wear a dress". Later that summer, they took me to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I let them know that I really liked the movie. They asked me if I liked the outfits and I said yes. I think it was the first time I had ever admitted to anyone other than my parents, that I wanted to get dressed up like that. The girl who seemed so interested was very nice and I liked her, so I wrote her a love note, letting her know that I would be interested, if she was, but she wasn't. Three days later she announced her engagement to someone else.

After college, I was living in a commune. One day I went to the Rocky Horror Picture show and before I went one of the women asked me if I dressed up - and was obviously excited at the prospect, I told her no. One of the gay men told me he liked to get dressed up and have sex with men. One of the girls in the house said she thought that was really hot and would love to have a guy dress up for her. I had been dressing in my room, and since we didn't lock our doors, there was a good chance that she might have found my wardrobe, but for some reason, it never worked out.

Looking back on it, I could almost shoot myself for the number of times people had tried to reach out to me, and I had been so afraid and suspicious that I refused to admit my deepest and most sincere desires. I had been to therapists numerous times, but when I brought up the gender issue, they told me they couldn't talk about it (until the late 1970s it was illegal to do so). It wasn't until the movie "Dressed to Kill" in 1980, that I understood why. In that movie, Michael Keaton plays a transsexual whose female side kills anyone who tries to turn on the masculine side sexually. What the movie didn't mention is that the feminine side will often try to kill the masculine side if there is no chance of transition.

I also remember many dances and parties where women would sing "Lola" to me. I didn't realize until later, when I finally came out, that this was code for understanding that you are a cross-dresser and that there is desire.

What's so great about sights like this is that cross-dressers, transsexuals, and the range of transgenders in between can share and discuss their experiences, hopes, disappointments, and successes. I only wish I had been able to find a place where I could have these kinds of discussions when I was 18 or 20 instead of when I was 55.

The sad thing is that most state and federal laws still forbid giving this kind of information to minors. The first time I ever found a book on cross-dressing was in an adult book-store. The irony is that it was a very fact oriented book and not erotic at all. But it did help me understand so much. I also found columns in adult magazines, but again, there wasn't a way to ask questions, or get feedback.

[Sharon B.]

Yes I had a missed opportunity about nineteen years ago the first woman I dated after my divorce I confine in her that the one of the reasons for my divorce was that I like to dress in woman's attire.
She would ask to talk about it and I would always change the subject, how I wish I would have had that talk with her. We drifted apart but still think of her every now and then.