Why aren't cd's metrosexual?

[suchacutie]

I'm not metrosexual because I don't see how that relates to who I am at all. There are already two of me, and those two are very real, and they don't mix unless they absolutely must! For example, my male self has to moisturize and have reletively tidy eyebrows else Tina would have a mess on her hands. Tina is also stuck with this body's wide shoulders and 5'10" height.

But, neither of these two personifications of myself is intereseted in sharing in the middle. My guy self is just not interested in highlights in my ever-lessening hair, and makeup in that mode just doesn't fit his personality. Likewise Tina is just, well, she is just a girl and not interested in any thing that smacks of masculinity.

I see the metrosexual style as a personal statement, and a strong one, but not one that is transgendered. I guess I could be convinced otherwise with persuasive arguements, but I see a metrosexual as a masculine statement. It's just not my masculine statement.

This is a very interesting question! Thanks for the thread!!!

[Jason+]

Most CD's want to entirely eradicate any traces of masculinity in their look, demeanor and presentation at least while dressed. Metrosexual men have no issue with being men but wish to be well groomed, cleaned and polished and not be lumped into the homosexual group because of it.

[CheyenneNicky]

Honestly I think me being metro got me interested in Girls clothing, I wear semi tight jeans. i have an ass so its kinds hard to wear skinny jeans lol... Guy liner... i think they call that goth or emo. lol No offense to those who are. its just not me.... Any ways. I have always been into fasion, do my own nails(which i am in dire need to do. but my nail kit got packed when i moved) I used to have my female friends do my brows. or my sister ect.. But my female friends always asked me to come with them shopping for my opinion and i still have my girl jackets that i would wear but.... I have become too big for it. any ways... i think CD's are metro because they want to look like a woman. Metro is just they want to have style and still be a man. which btw I still like looking like a guy

[juno]

I don't feel the need to hide crossdressing, and I don't care if anyone sees me as homosexual or metrosexual. I think it is good to go out as metrosexual or even a semi-gay or gender-queer look. I do that for gender-diversity events. I also carry the same purse in male and female forms. It is nice to pass while out in public, but that does not help improve tolerance of gender diversity. But, I am really transsexual and not a standard crossdresser. I wear feminine styles because I like them, the same reason women wear them.

A typical crossdresser is generally bi-gender. They specifically want to present as female some times, but also like having a masculine image. The difficulty is that the strongly male and female preferences tend to cause internal conflict. A metrosexual is more inter-gender, a person that is comfortable with a semi-androgynous look, but still mostly masculine. Gender queer is the openly inter-gender form. I don't think there is really a practical advantage of any of them. A person can live with any of these preferences in the "closet", or be open and enjoy life as yourself.

[Dami]

I have never looked into what the definition of a metrosexual is but my wife has called me one on occasion.
I've always enjoyed taking a good long bath in the evening, I usually shower at least twice daily, I have always enjoyed taking care of my body, smelling nice and looking nice whenever possible.
At one time one of my girlfriends used to get her nails done every week, I started going with her and getting my nail manicured with a gloss coat. Later I quit getting teh manicure, no real reason why I stopped just wasn't a priority.

Dami

[DonniDarkness]

To the Metro Skeptics

There are metro guys here who CD. Metrosexual fashion goes farther than skinny jeans or fitted shirts....It is about your masculinity blending into the femininity around you. Your still a guy as far as the perception of others, but you exude a look about you that is much more well groomed and manicured to fit into the realm of being well dressed. You have a taste for all fashion and not just in womens clothes.

Shave your arms and legs....chest too? Pluck your eyebrows? Get Mani's and pedi's? Do you use high quality shampoos or conditioners? Do you practice skin maintenence?....Guess what you more metrosexual in your guy mode than you realize.

If you said yes to those things above, pay attention to the other men you come into contact with in daily life. Hairy, slightly smelly, no fashion sense, and a demeanor that is slightly above the primates on the evolutionary chart. That guy sees you as metro and has no doubt noticed your slight femininity brimming over the masculinity you hold.

For those of us who grew up as "girly guys", Crossdressing is an expression of ourselves. For us it is not about trying to pass as a woman or eradicating any trace of masculinity. It is about celebrating our femininity and masculinity as one. That balance is what we seek for our inner selves.

And another thing i wanted to say. For all the effort some go through to look the best they can in girl mode, then why not do the same for your guy mode? Im not talking sport suits...but some of that fashion sense should carry over into your guy mode as well.

Slightly Annoyed,
-Donni-

[CheyenneNicky]

To the Metro Skeptics

There are metro guys here who CD. Metrosexual fashion goes farther than skinny jeans or fitted shirts....It is about your masculinity blending into the femininity around you. Your still a guy as far as the perception of others, but you exude a look about you that is much more well groomed and manicured to fit into the realm of being well dressed. You have a taste for all fashion and not just in womens clothes.

Shave your arms and legs....chest too? Pluck your eyebrows? Get Mani's and pedi's? Do you use high quality shampoos or conditioners? Do you practice skin maintenence?....Guess what you more metrosexual in your guy mode than you realize.

If you said yes to those things above, pay attention to the other men you come into contact with in daily life. Hairy, slightly smelly, no fashion sense, and a demeanor that is slightly above the primates on the evolutionary chart. That guy sees you as metro and has no doubt noticed your slight femininity brimming over the masculinity you hold.

For those of us who grew up as "girly guys", Crossdressing is an expression of ourselves. For us it is not about trying to pass as a woman or eradicating any trace of masculinity. It is about celebrating our femininity and masculinity as one. That balance is what we seek for our inner selves.

And another thing i wanted to say. For all the effort some go through to look the best they can in girl mode, then why not do the same for your guy mode? Im not talking sport suits...but some of that fashion sense should carry over into your guy mode as well.

Slightly Annoyed,
-Donni-

very well said Donni.... I said yes to a couple of those . I been wanting to shave my legs for years just to in secure to do it. i will have to find a picture of when i was younger... *searches for photo.* to be continued

[Sophie_C]

Gee I am totally metrosexual
gell nails all the time
eye brows threaded (thin arched)
hair cut in BOB
stlye hair every day
light make-up daily

and thank god I am not a construction worker

Maddie, don't take this the wrong way, but no 'metro' guy in the world takes it that femme (arched brows, gel nails, girl cut). You are not perceived as such.

An easy way to to get the boundaries is looking it like taking great attention to detail within what is understood as being a man. Is James Bond that way? Yes. Jude Law in Alfie? Yes. Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love? Yes.







Now, there are things that are gender-free, so have fun with that too, but when you add on women's things and express yourself in clearly female ways, that ends up being a different statement, like genderf*ck idealogy or what Andrej Pejic is doing these days.



I consider Austin Scarlett (the fashion designer, who I actually do think is an amazing dresser) the bar of where it goes too far into the femme. Of course, being a gay fashion designer, that falls completely into the realm of being 'understood' as such, as their range of understood masculinity to femininity is radically wider than most men.

But, that's well beyond metro. Completely.

[Nesreen]

Metrosexual doesn't make me Nesreen

It doesn't work!!

I am a Lady when en-femme!!

[Annaliese2010]

Some of you say, men's clothing is boring, has limited choices etc..

What are your thoughts on being a metrosexual?
it has its advantages.. no more hiding and no more being closeted, looks cool, can get highlights on hair, and get hair styled, lots of shoes, and lots of clothing options.. you could even get away with wearing clothes meant for women.. and even little bit of makeup too.

Sounds good to me, I MUST look into that modality of expression. Heard of it never understood it. Sounds awsome hip tho.

[NathalieX66]

I assume the female persona 100% when I'm en femme. There's no middle ground here for me. When I'm out in public as a lady, I'm a lady.....it's just that simple. Guy panties and mens underwear that is sheer, or thong is meaningless to me.

When I think metrosexual, the first thing that comes to mind is being on the NYC subway where I see all the men are wearing scarves just like the women , and have a "manbag" which is the same thing as a handbag or purse.

[ReineD]

When I think metrosexual, the first thing that comes to mind is being on the NYC subway where I see all the men are wearing scarves just like the women , and have a "manbag" which is the same thing as a handbag or purse.

Me too. I think of a man who lives in an urban area and who spends a lot of money on his appearance for its own sake. In other words, it's more about about vanity and consumerism than any desire for gender bending. I think some people have confused metrosexuals with gay men, possibly because people think the gay stereotype as being a colorful dresser? "Metrosexual" comes from "metropolitain" (metro) + heterosexual, not homosexual.

I wouldn't call a high powered exec/wall street type a metrosexual though, since for him the look is all about winning and exuding power. The look is a means to an end more than a play for vanity.

We've had lots of threads over the years about a CD's male vs. female looks, and most CDs here have said they hate spending time, energy, and money on their male appearance. They prefer saving all the resources for their girl selves (although I'm guessing the GGs who enjoy going out with their SOs in guy mode would be saddened by this ). Anyway, I'm not surprised there are few metrosexuals here.

[sara.s]

most CDs here have said they hate spending time, energy, and money on their male appearance. They prefer saving all the resources for their girl selves

Yeah, it is relatively harder finding fashionable men's clothing than women's too. Women have lots of stores, choices and role models, women's magazines, spa's, makeovers, nail salons and what not. CDing, imo, is a result of frustration as we have few such luxuries. I think being a metrosexual can fill in this gap.

[cassandra54]

i like to look good as a man. not flashy, i just dress nice.

but. i think i spend a good amount of time on my body....shaving, taking care of my feet, i use lotion and even had some juviderm done. i think we all do, so in that sense i think we are all metrosexual.

[ReineD]

Yeah, it is relatively harder finding fashionable men's clothing than women's too. Women have lots of stores, choices and role models, women's magazines, spa's, makeovers, nail salons and what not. CDing, imo, is a result of frustration as we have few such luxuries. I think being a metrosexual can fill in this gap.

I agree, there are more choices among women's clothing. But based on the threads I remember reading, a lot of CDs here say they spend hardly any money at all on guy stuff, and the tone in the threads gave me the impression this was something to be proud of.

I remember asking about it specifically several years ago. I wondered if many of the CDs were rebelling against having to present as guys. If memory serves, most everyone said the same thing you say ... the guy clothes are boring, so why bother. Or guys just don't like to shop. I'm sure not all CDs are like this (Cassandra54 just above me said she likes to look nice as a guy), but I was always under the impression that most of you could care less about your male presentation?

Yet, the non-CDs I know certainly don't have as many clothes as a woman, but they do have nice shirts and polo shirts, several good pairs of slacks, jackets, some ties, some nice sweaters. Maybe a nice leather jacket and a good raincoat, in addition to the jeans and Tshirts. You know, regular guy stuff, but nice and that fits well. My brother is like this and so was my ex. I wouldn't call them metrosexuals though. Just guys who dress normally.


Edit
Sara, I never did answer your OP directly:

What are your thoughts on being a metrosexual?
it has its advantages.. no more hiding and no more being closeted, looks cool, can get highlights on hair, and get hair styled, lots of shoes, and lots of clothing options.. you could even get away with wearing clothes meant for women.. and even little bit of makeup too.

I think you're confusing metrosexual with dressing femmy. It's my understanding that metrosexuals want to dress like guys, and not incorporate femme elements in their clothing. Guys can and do take care of their skin, hair, nails ... have you seen the sheer volume of men's grooming products that are out now? If you do decide to start incorporating femme things in your guy look, people won't see you as a metrosexual. They'll instead know that you're gender bending. Nothing wrong with that, just as long as you're prepared for this.

[NicoleScott]

It's an interesting discussion. Intending no put-down of the OP, but it seems that trying to connect anything with crossdressing once again fails.
Some of the other attempts were(are): first-born, left-handed, plays guitar, only child, raised only by mother, sexual preference.....and others.
And so I want to poll the members, seeking support for my theory: are you more likely to crossdress if you like shrimp fried rice?
Just kidding. Please don't respond. I'm begging you.

[Tina B.]

ReineD said, " I remember reading, a lot of CDs here say they spend hardly any money at all on guy stuff, and the tone in the threads gave me the impression this was something to be proud of." Reine, I also remember that tread, I was one of those that answered that I have more female clothes than mens, but there was no pride in that fact, just a statement of fact. I have more womens clothing, than mens, because it's a lot more fun shopping for them. In my mens wardrobe, I have just about anything I need to go where ever, and I dress nice, even like to make sure the band that holds my pony tail matches with what I'm wearing. But the female side of my closet, that's all bought out of complete enjoyment, I love the shopping, and one of my favorite things to feel is new, I love the feel of new. I will buy tops or skirts knowing that I have nothing to go with it, just so I have a reason for yet another shopping trip, I never do that in guy stuff, The black slacks, and oh yeah, that shirt goes with it, black shoes, ho hum, back to the womens section, and all that color, and soft fabrics, and more fun shopping. And I still say I'm to old to change and go Metro, with out it saying more about me than I care to state publicly. But while it does not replace dressing, for the younger set, I see it as a style that would help hide you in plain site, eye brows, sure I'm Metro, I've seen the TV add selling the razor, or shaving cream, where the guy jumps in the shower, and is first swipe of the razor, is a cross his chest, next scene, he is out with a towel wrapped around his waist, and his chest, is clean as a new born babe. So sure you could hide there, but it just ain't the same as that skirt, and bra, and could never replace them.
Tina B.

[marlaNYC]

imo. companies like American Apparel are, in some small way, creating a blurred line with their unisex clothing. somewhere between metrosexual, gay and CD, where it's ok to wear a sheer t-shirt or shirt/blouse meant for no-sex in particular. i've also found that many women's pants have developed into placing zippers on the 'male' side, that is they zip up on the right side.

there was a time growing up when the clothing choices for men exploded, pushed by designers like Vivienne Westwood and Yohji Yamamoto, and it was a wonderful time to experiment. how did it ever come back to the dullness and tradition of Brooks Brother, JCrew and the like *sigh*

[sara.s]

I think you're confusing metrosexual with dressing femmy.

You got me wrong.. I was just guessing that there could be lesser compulsion to CD or lesser CDers if metro was popular.

[TGMarla]

I read all the posts so far, and as is the nature of opinions, everyone is right in their own way. Reine, as a guy, I do spend less on clothing than does my wife (or me on femme clothing), but I also like to look good when I dress as a man. I agree that men's clothing can be a bit boring, as there is a distinct lack of variety to choose from. Be that as it may, when a man dons a nice suit and a tie, there is no question that he can look great, and turn a few heads while he's at it. I see nothing wrong with manicures, although I don't opt for them my self. I guess the bottom line is that while some aspects of the Metro style may be conducive to our needs as crossdressers, it is still a fashion statement unto itself, and has no correlation at all to crossdressing.

I like being pretty much 100% (well....maybe 90%) male when I'm in guy mode. It's not to cover up anything, it's just more comfortable to me as a man. But when I'm en femme, I like to go 100% to the feminine. I don't have a particular desire to have them meet in the middle. However, some of us do just that. Our Pythos is one such person, and is all the way cool with blending the gender appearance into a meld of both the male and the female. I think, however, that most of us are not striving for such a blend, at least the non-transexual, hetero CDs.

And Nicole......I love shrimp fried rice. But I like a lot of good food, especially when well prepared.

[Aprilrain]

how strange??????? I thought being metrosexual meant you were a guy who tried to look good as a guy not that you were a heterosexual man who wanted to look like a gay man. perhaps im wrong. Anyway I'm just happy being a girl and will be even happier once all this facial hair is gone and I have had my FFS. Then I can roll out of bed throw on some clothes in the dark and still be gendered female. for me the point of being a woman is to be a woman not play dress up everyday.

[Kittyagain]

You hate his clothing choices because he puts what "he wears and what he drives above anything else including his wife". Really?? You do know that there are women who put what "they wear and what their husband earns/drives above anything else including their husband". So, I hope you were just kidding, otherwise you would be hating crossdressing too..

Sara, I was not kidding but you are right, my post was way to hard and miss directed my anger for the person to the style of dress.

I just want to bitch slap the guy.

Kitty

[DebbieL]

The whole Metrosexual thing started from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". The whole concept of the show being that if men took advice on men's fashion and style from a pair of gay men, they would be more attractive to women as men.

The problem has been that for about 20 years, men's fashion has been more of a joke. Men's fashion magazines like Esquire tend to be associated with gays, as well as looking "too good". The old joke is that if he's well dressed, fit and fashionable, he's either gay or married.

Cross-Dressers often have a strong awareness of women's fashion, but may have little or no appreciation for Men's fashion. In fact, to a cross-dresser, men's fashion is an oxymoron like Jumbo Shrimp or Military Intelligence. Even when wearing tuxedos most men look more like machines or uniforms than lke anything sexually attractive. The pants are loose, hiding any hint of leg shape, the coat is often cut loose to hang straight down the back, hiding even a nice attractive butt, and the shirt is only sized based on the neck measurement, with the rest often billowing out like a tent. The excess is folded up behind, or better yet, just bloused out all around.

Men's clothes are designed for mean who drink a lot, fight a lot, and f*ck a lot, but the girls are paid by the hour (or less). Simply put, hide the beer gut, hide the bruises and scars, and hide the wallet and jewelry.

The few attempts at fitted and tailored clothes for men have usually ended up in women's wear.

[ReineD]

In my mens wardrobe, I have just about anything I need to go where ever, and I dress nice, even like to make sure the band that holds my pony tail matches with what I'm wearing. But the female side of my closet, that's all bought out of complete enjoyment, I love the shopping, and one of my favorite things to feel is new, I love the feel of new.I will buy tops or skirts knowing that I have nothing to go with it, just so I have a reason for yet another shopping trip, I never do that in guy stuff, The black slacks, and oh yeah, that shirt goes with it, black shoes, ho hum, back to the womens section, and all that color, and soft fabrics, and more fun shopping.

This is the impression I got from that older thread and other threads too. There just doesn't seem to be any joy or feeling of accomplishment in getting nice men's clothes, like there is in getting women's things. So the guy's side of the closet suffers, compared to the men who don't CD. Generally speaking.

Maybe my family members are odd, but my dad, brother, sons, nephews, etc enjoy getting new clothes. They're not metrosexual ... they don't obsess about their clothes (and as a woman I don't obsess about mine either), but they do enjoy looking good.

[StarrOfDelite]

I think that people on the forum are in general pretty confused about what the term Metrosexual meant when it originally became part of Americana. As Reine pointed out, the word is an amalgam of Metropolitan and Heterosexual, and was coined to distinguish Straight Men in large cities who wanted to be well-groomed, well-dressed, and well-coiffed from Gay Men who tend to congregate in those same sophisticated urban venues, and who tend to have an image of being very fashionable. If you aren't familiar with how upper income males in New York, Boston, Washington, Chicago, et al. dressed for work and play in the nineties, then you don't really have much of a foundation upon which to base a different definition of the term. The best example of a Metrosexual I can think of would be Mr. Big from the Sex and the City television series.

Nowadays, the definition of Metrosexual has been bastyrdized, sort of like Justice Potter Stewart's definition of pornography ("I know it when I see it"), and really means nothing. The widespread contemporary confusion about what the term means is partly a reflection of how large a percentage of American males are knuckle dragging, beer swilling, possum eating, homophobic, anti-intellectual, anti-sophistication cretins who want to disguise their own shortcomings by making fun of anyone who actually cares about his appearance. The urban snob in me would like to say that such creatures exist only west of Pittsburgh and south of the Mason-Dixon line, but sadly there are millions of them in the New York metro area alone.