How many of them are out there and want a real CD'er/TG etc. instead of a so called "straight man"? Are there really such women? Does anybody have experiences?
How many of them are out there and want a real CD'er/TG etc. instead of a so called "straight man"? Are there really such women? Does anybody have experiences?
I have had two women in my life who accepted me as I am. Yes they are out there and you find one cherish her forever.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Thanks Lorileah but accepting is something different than wanting such. An accepting woman is wonderful but are there some who are seeking us? (probably not
Sorry to disagree but my two women "Wanted" me. They didn't give a hoot about what I wore. They chose me, they caught me. I am ever so grateful they did too. Now ask me again in a year if I can find another that is even close to what those two were. I was married to one and soul mate to the other.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Want one? I don't know about that, not many I would bet. But the question should be, how many women are there out there, that accept a TG/CD/TV/TS person, plenty with you go by all of us on here that are married to accepting women. I know my was not looking for a trans person when we met, but the day I told her all about myself, she accepted this as just part of what makes me, me. So wives may take longer, some don't ever get there, but there are plenty of folks on this site, whose wifes go out with them, shop for feminine items to give them as gifts, and all sorts of different levels of acceptance, right down to DADT, but do your own thing. Keep looking, there out there!
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Our own Rachel Morley is married to a woman who actively sought out a crossdressing man for a husband. Rachel is a very lucky lady, and his wife is a treasure.
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
I am in a LDR with a lovely CD and, to be honest, if this relationship would for some reason end I can totally see myself seeking out another CD for a relationship. I'm a bi-sensual woman so for me a CD is the best of both worlds-a girlfriend and a boyfriend all rolled into one.. that SO rocks! I've connected very well to the femme part of my SO and the male part is nice to have around as well. :-)
So yes..count me as one that would seek out a CD for a relationship.
B
Last edited by babs816 GG; 10-04-2011 at 12:18 PM.
Wow, I didn't expect that but it's a nice surprise. Your words make me thinking because it seems to be a good advantage to have a CD'er as a partner. Yes, the best of both worlds. Nice.
I am more of a CROSSDREAMER than anything else.
My wife is very accepting and supporting. That being said though she has said that things might have been different if she had known from the start. She knows all about my sexuality and is very supportive of that as well. As long as it's with her. She has always been a little vanilla but since my coming out she has actually been more open and honest with her sexuality and has opened her adventurous side a little more. We keep it just between us and that's how it will most likely stay. Like I said though, had she known from the start things might have been different. In my opinion, women are still looking for that partner who can be the strong and dependable person. I don't think many would seek out a feminine male. I'm not trying to be sexist it's just what I have observed/experienced over the years. I am sure those women exist but sometimes it takes a little coaxing to bring them out?
Sabrina
Perhaps, but I think more than this, a woman wants to feel desired by her man. It's hard to explain, but there are no distractions between a male who does not CD, and the woman of his dreams. He's all over her. Whereas, how many threads have we seen in this forum, where just about every CD responding says he'd rather "be" the attractive woman he sees and wear her clothes, than "be with her". There's almost a diffused state of desire for the woman there, watered down if you will. Like two yins, side by side, rather than the more complimentary yin and yang. It might take a while for GGs newly in love to see this and this is why I think we hear so many stories about GGs thinking the CDing is wonderful in the beginning, and then it eventually dies down ... unless of course they are attracted to feminine males to begin with, and they don't mind sharing their own female energy/role in the relationship.
Think of the De Beers diamond commercial they show around Valentines Day. I know it's cheesy, but it reflects an average woman's fantasy, where her husband will adore her so much that he wants nothing more than to see her eyes light up when he gives her a pair of diamond earrings, and where he really gets turned on when she adorns herself. A CDer would want to get the earrings (or the lingerie) for himself (or maybe for him and for her). He wants to be the one who is beautiful (even though it is OK if she is too).
Now ... every CD is different and if a CDer can make his wife feel as if she is the light of his life (as opposed to giving her the impression he loves nothing more than to CD), then I'm guessing there wouldn't be as many issues in the relationship. Generally speaking, of course. I'm guessing the CDers who are in successful relationships with GGs know how to make their GGs feel as if they are desired.
These CDs probably want the same thing out of the relationship as the GGs ... to be loved and desired as a woman. Maybe they freak out at the prospect the GGs will expect more of them than they can give? Yin and Yin. Just a guess.
Last edited by ReineD; 10-04-2011 at 06:10 PM.
Reine
I happen to have a very good friend who is actively looking for a CD male. The femmer the better. She would love to meet a pretty CD who prefers women but it's hard to find someone in such a closeted community. I told her she should join this site but she hasn't gotten around to it yet.
Also, I tend to meet a lot of women in clubs and bars who seem to be very interested in me until they find out I'm strictly dickly. I think the easy part is meeting women. The hard part is being comfortable enough with who you are that you're not creepy.
Reine is so right on this[at least for me].We have the ability to play the part of our fantasy woman and perfect her .Our energys go toward her and the SO takes the back seat. Perhaps a bisexual woman that doesn't really desire a "man" to complete her is more apt to be receptive to the T minded lifestyle.After all,most of us are still "able to get it done"when it comes to heavier tasks in a household. So,we do have some value ! lol I think perhaps a lesbian with a woman's clothes store or shoe store might accept us better than most.
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
This is sooooooo silly. It might indeed be the foundation for A couple but certainly not every couple. There are plenty of women who are actively looking for a hetero CD and there are plenty more who would be 100% accepting. All you have to do is be real. Be confident and comfortable with who you are and most of all, be FUN. I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't want to spend time with a good looking guy who makes her laugh and what you're wearing is really secondary as long as she knows you're interested. I'm not saying EVERY woman is into CD's but they are definitely out there. Shy and insecure men will always have trouble with the ladies, no matter how they're dressed.
I agree with Melissa, that before a GG can begin to become attracted to CDr, they'd first have to be attracted to the person. I think that all illusions and fantasies aside, the personal chemistry between two people is what matters most. If there is an attraction - in all the physical, emotional, and cognitive dimensions - then I think that many women (I won't say most, won't even guess how many) - can accomodate a CDing partner. Some subset of the GGs out there apparently do enjoy and some even seek out CD partners. But more often than not, these are chance happenings. My wife had some bi experiences and she taps into that part of herself when she relates to me. But that wasn't what she started out seeking in a partner....and I like to think I bring more to the relationship than sexual variety
Bottom line is that to be successful in relationships - even in dating - you gotta get out there and engage other people in a genuine manner. I suspect that the fear of failure or rejection prevents too many of us from even trying.
I wish I knew where I could find such a Lady
Ladies have a GREAT time!
Smile GOD LOVES you!!!
GOD BLESS US ALL!!!
AMY Hepker
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
I'LL BE ME
AND YOU BE YOU
Amy, I think there are millions of lonely, single people (no matter the gender or presentation) who are not finding soul mates.
I love ElusiveGirl's answer just above yours. It's just a question of numbers, really, like finding a job. Go out there, meet lots of people, and eventually you'll connect with someone. But it won't happen if you stay home.
Reine
Keep looking hun. It will happen someday.
Angie
Count me as someone who (looking back at my relationships of the past) has always been attracted to a somewhat feminine man. Dating a CDer really gives me the best of everything, as my SO is incredibly kind, nurturing, and supportive in ways which are traditionally male as well as traditionally female. Knowing what I know now about the sort of guy I'm attracted to, if Crystal was ever killed in an accident as she saved a dozen orphans from a burning building and I couldn't find the reincarnation of Cary Grant I would probably be very happy with another CDer.
Rogina, one does not need to be a lesbian or bisexual in order to be comfortable within herself without making a man prop her up! I'm not convinced that a lesbian would be a receptive partner for a crossdresser (as opposed to a transwoman, perhaps who had completed her transition).
I know the answer to this one!! If you've got any respect at all for your wife, then nothing will happen!
If you are acting as though you are single/available to meet other women to possibly develop romantic relationships - and you are not in an open relationship with a firm, solid base and 100% open communication - then you really need to take a look at what you're doing to yourself and your wife.
I can't agree with Babs more. Rogina, I had mentioned a woman's dilemma when she is with a CDer who is more invested in the CDing than in the relationship. This doesn't mean she needs a man to "complete" her. A person of any gender would like to feel a priority in their partner's life, and not an afterthought.
Assuming the CDer is past the pink fog stages and can focus again on a relationship, there's no reason to believe that he can't find happiness with a hetero woman ... assuming there is no "yin/yin" situation and he in fact wants to be with a woman and not a man. A hetero GG will more readily accept her CDing partner's biological reality.
A lesbian wouldn't be into a partner with a penis, and there is a risk that a bisexual woman wouldn't either since, because of her bisexuality, she has the option to be with a real woman when she wants to be with one, and so might prefer her man to be all male. I remember reading posts in this forum from bi-women who felt this way. Others have enjoyed their partners' feminine sides, just like some of the hetero women do.
Reine