Oh No, it is my boob on the highway!

[Barb123]

Was that only a dead squirrel? Oh No, it is my boob on the highway!

I often get up early, while it is still dark and run. I like wearing a bra with a heavy, dense silicone breast insert. I love the feel of the weight as I run. I wear an outside jogging suit any way.

In the last month I found a long stretch of side walk in a wooded neighborhood park. I decided I could bring my high heel tie up sandals and wear them. There I could get practice walking. This is great fun and I am getting my legs in shape, improving balance and gaining confidence for those “dress up” and “going out” times.

As I left the park the other day, i removed the breast inserts and put them in plastic bag with high heels for the last quarter mile. Then I discovered that I was missing one boob. I would have to drive back to the park and retrace my steps. After scouring the park, it was not there.
So I drove where I ran home. I would have to park my car on the edge of the highway to search the other side. As I did a friend from church was walking his dog and we chatted. I was afraid he had found it or ask what I was doing. Then as I looked over his right shoulder on the double yellow lines, there was something. It looked like a squished squirrel? Then I recognized it. It was a woman’s boob.
I concluded the conversation and as he walked away and I had to wait for traffic and then went out to retrieve it.

It was mine alright. Who else’s would it have been?

It had tire marks but held most of its shape. Since the membrane broke, it was sticky and to drivers, it looked like was saving or removing something that had been alive. I am sure I looked sad, but as I got in the car I got this wonderful thought and a pleasant smile emerge.
You know--- I was really needed to get something larger anyway.

Now I need to plan a shopping trip. I have a story when she askes, “How can I help you.” I can say "I need to replace my boob that got ran over and I could use a larger size." Still smiling! FUN

Barb123

[Beverly]

LOL!!!
Theres got to be a good joke here somewhere....

Thump Thump
Hey Martha, I think I just ran over something.
Well George, stop the car and go see what it was.
Martha your not going to believe this, but we need to get the hell out of here right away!

[TGMarla]

It's a terrible way for a boob to die! *Schniff!*

[SIZE=1](Cain't help blubberin'!) [/SIZE]

[Cynthia Anne]

The case of the run away boob! The headlines in this mornings paper! It's friend which is the other boob says she will be missed! The owner of the run away boob says she can replace it with a larger boob! This sounds to me that it's going to be a lopsided tale! 'er I meen boob! Hugs!

[eileendover]

........... w a r n i n g !

[Babette]

What's really sad is that people probably saw this happen, yet nobody stopped to help the poor boob!

Babette

[Marilyn Beck]

That is so sad. May your boob breast in peace.

[Danielle_cder]

Oh my RIP for sure i would be mortified if i lost a boob! thats like 150$ out the window!!

[Anne Elizabeth]

Thankfully you weren't wearing it when it received the tire mark.

[Elizabeth Ann]

There is always some boob getting hit by a car, but usually they are using a cell phone.
Liz

[Kate Simmons]

At least someone didn't mistake it for a chicken filet and try to cook it Hon.

[Miss Maxine]

Are you going to have a funeral, for your boob? I am a pretty accomplished eugoogolist, if you need someone to say some words.

[Brit]

[Miss Maxine]

(Forgive me Maxine.....it is in fun.)

It could have been one of Maxine's.

"And over to Larry in his Highway Chopper..."

"Yes Ken...Big snarl up on highway 45. Seems a lorry must have dropped a large......breast shaped...hell no it is a breast! OMG that's huge.....Anyway traffic backing up to junction 6....expect delays."

*enormous boobs shaking from her enthusiastic laugh* At least a car didn't hit it! That could have been disasterous!

[Jenny Beth]

And I'll bet you didn't purchase the extended warranty.

[joandher]

Letting it fall out the bag , You sure BOOBED there babe.
Hugs

J-JAY

[Beverly]

It was found on the highway near exit number 36D !

[Natalie D]

Oh dear sounds a bit um...tits up

[StarrOfDelite]

Just wear the remaining boob on the left side and you can go to the halloween parties as an Amazon warrior.

[Chickhe]

Geeesh...if I was driving by, I would see it and say'what the hell is that!?' then on further inspection I really wonder how in the heck someone looses one of those in the middle of the road!?? I have seen shoes, pants... always thought it must be pretty hard not to notice these things falling off when you are walking.

[Amy Hepker]

If I found it, I would have been looking all over for the other one. Poor Critter never made it across the road.

That leaves the question, Why did the Boob Cross the Road? To Cross Dress.

[Diane Smith]

This is one of the funniest stories I have read here for a long time. I sympathize with your loss, and hope it was a quick and painless ending.

- Diane

[Sophie_C]

Ok, I am submitting this for winner for best thread title of 2011!

Anyone agree?

[Miss Maxine]

This story has really moved me. And as a member of the Male Lesbian Boob Lovers Club I will be holding a candle lit vigil.

How do I join this club? I can supply my own candle, if the vigil is BYOC...would a candle app be acceptable?

[Elle1946]

Sounds like a case of road kill to me. LOL!!