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Thread: Urgentt need advice :(

  1. #1
    Where the sun sets Christina..x's Avatar
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    Urgentt need advice :(

    okk basically, i supressed the urge to crossdress for 6 months noww, and then suddenly i don't know howw its came back up. It feels like its apart of me and i jsut want to walk out to the world crossdressed. But i'm afraid of how friends would react i just wish i could.
    [SIZE="2"]Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it.[/SIZE]

  2. #2
    Member Rebecca W.'s Avatar
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    Hi Christina,
    I went a year without dressing and it just came back, the urge, the need to be a woman. I cannot explain it but I have to dress like a woman it when it happens. I want to go out this year dressed as a woman and Halloween is going to be my first try at going out in public. It never goes away and I will not fight it, but I will be careful of the possible issues with family and friends and keep it private.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    I agree halloween is a great opertuneity for first timers! Sometimes it seems the 'urge' has gone away but I beleive it's still there hidden due to the circumstances at the moment! Never be afraid to express yourself and be proud of who you are! But use caution! Remember what you do today, you must be able to live with tomorow! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  4. #4
    new girl in town cassandra54's Avatar
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    if you have the urge and it doesn't go away, then act on it. it's pretty simple, but if that's who you are then, that's who you are
    man, i feel like a woman

  5. #5
    *Kisses and Best Wishes* Wendy_Marie's Avatar
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    Christina...X,
    don't know if you have ever consdiered it or not but maybe its time to seek some therapy to sort this out inside you...?
    [SIZE="3"]"I can't talk girl talk when there is a guy inside my head." Gracie Lou Freebush[/SIZE]
    Is this all that's left of my life before me. Straight Jacket Memories and Seditive Highs! No Happy Ending like they always Promised...There's got to be something left for me... And I Turn my Head and Stare into the Eyes of a Stranger.
    To those of you who consider yourselves to be "Cat People" I apologize in advance for I am not.

  6. #6
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    you can go almost anywhere you like CDed. if your worried about friends and family don't tell them but if you have a wife or GF you should tell her, gently but tell.

  7. #7
    Where the sun sets Christina..x's Avatar
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    Thank you for your advice x, i think i will just have to go with it
    [SIZE="2"]Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it.[/SIZE]

  8. #8
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    Years ago I stopped crossdressing completely for 5 years. I started up again because my dear late wife begged me to. Contrary to what many people think, you can stop but only if YOU really want to!! The crossdressing idea is purely mental and you have to get your mind to make the decision as to whether you dress or not!!

    Good Luck whichever way you decide to go!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  9. #9
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    You can suppress the urge if you want to. I've done it for years, but now I will never supress the urge again, no way Jose. At the same time I will never be en femme 100% every single day for the rest of my life, if I could go public once a month then that would be fantastic. None of my close friends know I do it either. I suggest if you want to give it a try then don't come out of the house for the first time on a Friday night to meet our regular guy friends at the local pub wearing a prom dress. Test the waters somewhere else with understanding people from like a local group for crossdressers or others, and then you go take it a bit further with small steps. The problem with trying to supress it for too long is that if it flares back up on you then it can be like a Ferrari stuck in rush hour traffic. The first chance you get you floor it all the way and there can be big consequences later that you may regret. Such as speeding tickets, court an accident etc..

  10. #10
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    I recommend NOT coming out to your friends without considering the consequences. You CANNOT put the Genie back in her bottle. If you want the rush of dressing en femme in public Halloween is coming. My first time I dressed in public was at a Halloween. I did it several Halloweens and interacted with people. I went into a grocery store, a doughnut shop, etc.

    Halloween is a Monday this year, so I think there will be parties and events Friday through Monday. I love it when Halloween falls on a Monday because it does offer multiple days to be en femme.

    If you want the rush to be en femme, I would dress as the woman I would want to be- The Woman Within. I would not dress as Cinderella or Super Girl. I would go for the traditional Little Black Dress and heels. Or a business suit. Once you have experienced the rush, maybe you'll not feel the need to reveal yourself to your friends.

    If you're passable you may find the occasional evening stroll among the public is enough satisfaction to quench your thirst to drink out of the Genie Bottle.

  11. #11
    Where the sun sets Christina..x's Avatar
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    awwww thank youu i finally had the courage to upload a pic
    [SIZE="2"]Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it.[/SIZE]

  12. #12
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    If you really feel the need to go somewhere dressed, there is a support group that meets in Brighton every Tuesday afternoon, perhaps you could try that as a starter - you can be in Brighton in just over an hour from Victoria or a bit more from London Bridge. This could have the advantage of not needing to out yourself to your mates unless/until you feel ready to tell them.

    If you want more details, PM me and I will let you have the information.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

    Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity

  13. #13
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Maybe you could take small steps and see how you handle the little things first and then you control how far you want to take it. Good luck with what ever you decide.

  14. #14
    eluuzion eluuzion's Avatar
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    One option might be to try this exercise invented a long time ago by this long-haired hippie named Ben Franklin.

    Take a piece of paper and draw a big line down the middle of the page. Draw another line horizontally across the top of the page, making two columns. Label the left side "Pros" and right side "Cons".

    In the "Pros" column...
    List every possible positive thing you can think of that would occur if you "came out".

    In the "Cons" column...
    List every possible negative thing you can think of that would occur if you "came out".

    Just do this drill quickly without devoting any time to analyze anything. The goal is just to list as many as you can on each side...whether they make sense or not. Do one side at a time instead of jumping back/forth. Devote equal time to each side.

    Look at the results only after you are finished with the "listing" drill, to avoid getting sidetracked.

    When finished, the column with the greatest number of entries will give you a general idea of the direction to take. (On a very basic level)

    If the result indicates that you probably should not go forward with the CD announcement plan....

    RE-DO this drill and keep doing it over and over until the PROS column ends up longer, which means you should do it! Then just use a little self-deception to pretend you only did this once, and the results showed you should proceed with your CD plan.

    Then go out and buy yourself a nice outfit and convince yourself that your life will now continue happily ever after.

    ............The End...

    now, get your PJs on, it is past your bedtime. No more stories tonight, its late..


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  15. #15
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Compaired to crossdressing, everything else is just everything else. Boring!
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  16. #16
    Non-Binary / Two-Spirit
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    Perhaps... small steps...

    It's up to you how far you want to take it. But I can tell you from personal experience the urge got stronger in time for me. But for you... the urge might behave differently. But I agree... don't do anything rash that you might regret later. Halloween is a great opportunity... but be very careful. CD groups would be a safer and you can get advise.

    But my advise in the long run is to just small steps first... like feminine lingerie under you male clothing, panties to start. See how that goes first. See if that is enough for you. I think I would be surprised how many people out there have cross dressed lingerie on. And yet from the out side you would never know... and that's the beauty of it. Very little consequences.

    There are more smaller steps you can take... but this may be enough for now to satisfy the feminine inside without going all out.
    Don't suppress who you are inside your heart. Let the world know how special you really are. Don't forget to smile as you share. It will come through in your beautiful words.

    Your Sister/Brother,
    Debbie/Steve

  17. #17
    Honesty Is Not A Sin Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    You may decide never dress again but you will always be a Crossdresser.
    Don't Take Life To Serious, It's Only Temporary

    CHOICE
    It is often wrongly assumed that a person chooses to be transgender and one day decides they want to live the remainder of their life as transgender .This couldn't be further from the truth. Transgender is established sometime during pregnancy, probably in the first three months and certainly well before an individual is able to make a choice.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    Living in the country i must admit that i have little knowledge of things in London and there must be place`s that you can get away with things but also there seams to be a lot more violence there so maybe it would be wiser to be a bit courses at first and maybe find a Cd club or venue to start with as once you are out to your friends there is no going back but you know your friends better than i do so only you can be the judge of what their reaction might be .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Do it... You can always get new friends to go with your new lifestyle!
    I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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  20. #20
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Its really not as hard as you might think. People either ignore or are politely accepting, for the most part. There are lots of places where you can be safe, meet people and enjoy yourself. I prefer busy public places - Starbucks, the mall, the grocery as well as GLBT friendly bars and restaurants.

  21. #21
    silicone member Danielle_cder's Avatar
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    just think number one! you need to be happy with you, dont worry so much about others they can take care of themselves. If they are really your friends then they will accept you no matter what (that is a true friend). If your trying to please others how can you please yourself? we/I support you! rock on!
    the only limit that u set, is the one u set yourself.

  22. #22
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    We all reach a point in life where being our self is more important than what others think. Only you can decide if you are at that point. In the beginning I (felt) I was protecting my friends and family by hiding it. Now, it is this is me, take it or leave it. I can't pretend to be someone I am not any more. I still don't shove it in my families face but they know and don't wish to talk about it. Nothing is perfect but life goes on.

    You need to decide what is right for you and your situation. Think it through before making a decision.

    Gen

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christina..x View Post
    okk basically, i supressed the urge to crossdress for 6 months noww, and then suddenly i don't know howw its came back up. It feels like its apart of me and i jsut want to walk out to the world crossdressed. But i'm afraid of how friends would react i just wish i could.
    It is a part of who you are and acceptance of that fact will make your life much easier. Of course you are afraid, we all were and some still are. That's the natural response by us all at first. Friends come and go and true friends will accept who you are. The others aren't important anyway. New friends with gender issues will show up from thin air and become a positive intregal part of your life. Get dressed and go girl, it's who you are.

  24. #24
    Senior Member carolinoakland's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christina..x View Post
    okk basically, i supressed the urge to crossdress for 6 months noww, and then suddenly i don't know howw its came back up. It feels like its apart of me and i jsut want to walk out to the world crossdressed. But i'm afraid of how friends would react i just wish i could.
    One tip, wear a womans costume. Don't just put on some womens clothes.

  25. #25
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Think what u r planning to do VERY CAREFULLY! Making hasty decisions may be the BIGGEST cause of regrets!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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