So I was told I looked like an ugly girl.

[Melody Moore]

Yes some natal girls are very competitive and often get really jealous easy and if your house-mate
has been saying good things about you lately, well that too can make her feel jealous and insecure
which usually will spell the end of most relationships. So I think she is on the way out now actually
and you might end up with a very special friend in your life - it's not first time this has happened.

My ex-girlfriend got really jealous one day when one of her girlfriends complimented me on how good
I looked and how soft and beautiful my facial skin was. Needless to say that this is why she is now
my ex-girlfriend. I could not handle her jealousy and bitchiness if someone else paid me a compliment.

I have seen comments from other natal girls about really beautiful trans-women who say crap like
"They are not a real woman because you don't even have ovaries" or "They are just a gay men who
is out to fool other men into believing they are a woman and turn them gay". Some of the comments
are beyond ridiculous sometimes, but it is easy to see that envy often plays a big role in why people
can be so nasty. The quote in my signature about why people really hate you says it all hun...

"Haters don't really hate you, they hate themselves, because you are a reflection of what they want to be"

[TGMarla]

I've been told that before, too, but by people who have never seen me crossdressed and in full makeup.

I may be wrong, but I think they're wrong. Hey, opinions are like 4ssh01e5.

[SIZE=1](Didja catch that?)[/SIZE]

[GG Kathy]

Sara I think you are adorable. Being on the out side growing up I will tell you girls can be mean, and those that are are not worth the dustpan to put them in the trash.

[ReineD]

Yes some natal girls are very competitive and often get really jealous easy ...

I have seen comments from other natal girls about really beautiful trans-women who say crap like "They are not a real woman because you don't even have ovaries" or "They are just a gay men who is out to fool other men into believing they are a woman and turn them gay". Some of the comments
are beyond ridiculous sometimes, but it is easy to see that envy often plays a big role in why people can be so nasty.

Melody, don't mistake the distaste that some cisgenders have for TGs, for jealousy. You are describing bigotry. Believe me, such GGs do not believe that transwomen are a threat. They do seriously believe that transwomen are gay men. These GGs are unable to comprehend the reality of transsexuals. If they are in relationships with hetero men, they also believe their men would not be able to stomach having sex with a person whom they believe to be another man. So there would be no cause for jealousy.

When a GG is jealous, it is because she feels that another GG could steal her man. As I said, she knows her man is hetero and so there is a chance he could be interested in this other GG.

[JaytoJillian]

Well, you can try taking that negative energy and converting it into something useful. My SO tells me quite regularly that I make a very ugly woman--little does she know that her comments only make me want to improve my look. They don't discourage me from dressing, which I am pretty sure is her intent. If she was not so mean about it, I probably wouldn't put so much into it---After all I am just as competitive as the next guy---so when I am told that I suck at something, I get motivated to do it better. Just my two pennies.

[kristinacd55]

Pretend your a teflon cooking pan and let it slide right away........

[noeleena]

Hi,

Your getting in to my teritory . if being a woman came's down to my looks well i failed 54 years ago. & belive me i did not like how i looked then or now'

at 64 i'v learnt those who throw stones & say things that are not really nice most have thier own problems . when we who have issues to face & get through are the ones who have an inner strength that surpass's those that dont have the self confidence in them selfs , or even self worth .

As a woman i'v learnt to grow be strong & rise above what i'v had to go through, to be where i am now , hey its hurtfull a put down yet dont let that get to you. ..

as to your looks no comment needs to be made your pic say's it all.... enjoy what you have, lovely.

...noeleena...

[Amy Hepker]

If that is you in your avitar, I would say you can pass for a pretty good looking Lady. Maybe the Gal was jelious of how good you do look. Just remember Nobody looks Great all the time and that includes GGs.

[Annie D]

"But I have a great personality and am alot of fun on a date!"

[Sophie86]

Melody, don't mistake the distaste that some cisgenders have for TGs, for jealousy. You are describing bigotry. Believe me, such GGs do not believe that transwomen are a threat. They do seriously believe that transwomen are gay men. These GGs are unable to comprehend the reality of transsexuals. If they are in relationships with hetero men, they also believe their men would not be able to stomach having sex with a person whom they believe to be another man. So there would be no cause for jealousy.

When a GG is jealous, it is because she feels that another GG could steal her man. As I said, she knows her man is hetero and so there is a chance he could be interested in this other GG.

Being heterosexual has nothing to do with it. I'm sure you've heard the term "tranny chaser." It describes otherwise heterosexual men who are fascinated by transsexuals and/or convincing CDs. A GG who suspects that her man is infatuated with a TG could most certainly be jealous. That's not the only explanation for why that girl was being catty towards Sarah, but it is a possibility.

[Julogden]

Hi Sarah,

Keep in mind that the girl who insulted you may have felt threatened by you presenting as a girl, as some girls/women are, and they often respond by insulting one's appearance.

You just have to try to keep the positive responses in mind. I know how it feels, as I've had that happen too, but in my case, the insult was at my first support meeting from someone in the community who was viewed (at the time) as a mover and shaker. She was on the tall side, maybe 6'1 or so, but I'm 6'5" and when we met, she made a big deal over telling everyone very loudly that she's always going to stand next to me so that she would appear less tall, and then looked me over and told me and everyone that I reminded her of Sylvester Stallone in drag. With "friends" like that, who needs enemies? Fortunately, she was just visiting and wasn't a local, and I never saw her again.

But I didn't quit dressing, although it took me a while to get up the nerve to go to support meetings again. Eventually I got to the point where I was going out to friendly places a lot, and in the long run, got lots of compliments on my appearance and even met a few people who told me that I was beautiful, so don't let one a**hole shut you down.

Just keep on keeping on and don't retreat because of one ugly person.

Carol

[*Vanessa*]

Maybe she meant it like "Damn your ugly" as is PRETTY you know "Coyote Ugly", which you are IMHO

[/QUOTE]

[dawnmarrie1961]

Beauty is not necessarily in the eye of the beholder. Beholders are such a fickle lot and can not see things as they truly are. True beauty is beyond the ability of most people to see. They don't know where to look or what to look for. That is a sad.
Don't worry so much about what other people see. What do you see? What do you feel?

[Chari]

I too believe she was jealous and insecure with her comment. You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself! Always be confident and comfortable in who you are - no matter what attire you are wearing. P.S. You do look more femme than some GG's I've seen.

[SarahStar7]

Thank you all very much for your wonderful comments! I have enjoyed reading everyones post and I feel much better.

Regardless of how we look when dressed, no one should be called ugly. As you all have said, we are always beautiful no matter who we are and that is what is important.

In all honesty, I think I could have handled her comment more better if I literally didn't come out to my best, and oldest, friend an hour before hand. It was kind of a big day for me then and that comment just ruined it almost.

Thank you all again! You all are wonderful people and I'm excited that I can be apart of the community here!

[Melody Moore]

Melody, don't mistake the distaste that some cisgenders have for TGs, for jealousy.

Reine, with all due respect I have seen and experienced the envy of jealous natal females and it has nothing to do with
anyone wanting to run off with anyone's man. Let me explain one of my worst experiences with my ex-girlfriend, who I was
living with up until 3 months prior to starting my transition but got back together with 3 months after I started my transition
after a 6 month break.

In my relationship with this woman prior to transition, I use to get in trouble all the time if an attractive looking woman just
walked through my field of vision or was in the general direction of where I was looking. My ex-girlfriend would accuse me
of perving on the woman when a lot of the time I didn't really pay much attention. It even happened while I was driving
the car and I had to stop and give way to another car that was driven my an attractive looking woman. I would be accused
of perving on the driver while I was simply watching the vehicle itself. My ex-gfs jealousy drove me crazy and that is why I
left her the first time.

After a 6 month break apart I contacted her and told her that I started to transition. It was a shock to her at first but she
came around very quickly and was very accepting of me. She also had deep feelings for me and wanted to get back together.

After explaining to her that things were going to be different and our relationship would be a lesbian relationship she was
still wanting me aback in her life. It appeared at first that she wasn't as jealous of other women anymore, but I soon found
out that assumption was very wrong. We started to see old friends that new me prior to transition as a male and every single
person weseen kept giving me compliments about how good I looked and this pissed my ex-girlfriend off no end.

There was no threat of anyone stealing anyone away from the other, she also knew I was never a 'gay man'. This was
all about an insecurity she had because I was getting more attention than she was. My ex-girlfriend has always been
very insecure because she felt that she didn't come up to the standards in other women and this was despite the fact
she is a very attractive looking blonde haired & blue eyed woman with a perfect figure. My ex told me that she felt as
though she was a competition with other women. She simply got really pissed off because people were paying me all the
compliments about how I looked and not her. I asked her "Is that my fault they compliment me and not her?" and she said
"No, it is my insecurity", so she is fully aware of what the problem is. The trouble was though she couldn't control her moods
with it. When she got jealous she turned really nasty & violent towards me, but she realised quickly that was a bad idea, so
then she started smashing things because she had bipolar affective mood disorder, but she isn't the only person in the world
with this condition. I believe that some of the other jealous women I encountered might suffer similar mental health issues.

I know for a fact that other women can just like my ex get very insecure and insulting especially when they see a trans-woman
getting lots of attention. I have also encountered this same thing from one woman in my lesbian group because nearly every
single time I have turned up at an LGBTIQ event over the past 6 months or so I get lots of friends coming up to greet me usually
with a very warm hug and sometimes a kiss. And if looks could kill then I would have been killed a thousand times all over from the
stares I have got in recent times. I am learning that some women really don't like it if they get some notion that you are becoming
more socially popular.

The reason I am saying this is because I had an incident a few weeks ago where a lesbian came up to me about 15 minutes after I
arrived at a regular LGBTIQ event I am involved with and work at each month, and she decided to get right in my face to spit out
her bile. I just let it wash over me without saying a single word, then it came - she instantly was pounced on by about 15-20 women
who pretty much seen and heard the whole thing because they noticed her staring at me before she came up to me. She was told
to leave or they were going to drag her out. All the other girls are really great, they were giving me lots reassurances that I handled
it perfectly and that she has real serious issues. What got them all really angry was when she started with the jibes about me not
being a real woman. Needless to say it finished as fast as it began - the woman had no choice but to leave immediately or they would
have literally killed her. So her own insecurities & jealousy when someone else like me gets more attention was the real issue here.

[Shelly Preston]

You were seen as a GIRL

I think I may have been way wrong here what I should have said was

You are a Very Pretty Girl and should have been seen that way

[MissMarcie]

You know the story of the three blind men and the elephant? Her perspective is just that her perspective. She needs to learn to put a muffler on what she thinks.

Why should she put a muffler on what she thinks? You don't have to agree with her opinion, but that doesn't mean she isn't allowed to speak her opinion. This sounds like the "Thought Police" at work.

[Rachel Morley]

... next time you see her, remind her of what she said and ask if she will help you achieve a prettier look. It might just work!

I think this is an excellent idea!

[Sophie86]

Why should she put a muffler on what she thinks? You don't have to agree with her opinion, but that doesn't mean she isn't allowed to speak her opinion. This sounds like the "Thought Police" at work.

Sounds more like Miss Manners to me, and I agree with the sentiment. People don't need to say everything they think, especially when it's going to hurt someone's feelings for no good purpose.

[MissMarcie]

Sounds more like Miss Manners to me, and I agree with the sentiment. People don't need to say everything they think, especially when it's going to hurt someone's feelings for no good purpose.

You're right. People don't need to say "everything" they think. But sometimes they still do. And while we may not agree, they're not much we can do to keep them from saying it. So, what's the best option?
A.If you don't like what they have to say, just let it go in one ear and out the other.
B.Maybe it was meant as constructive criticism, no matter how it was delivered, and maybe we can learn from it.

[Misti]

Instead of posting here, please see my post for you, Sarah, on your: "My first picture post "

Hugs

[Sophie86]

You're right. People don't need to say "everything" they think. But sometimes they still do. And while we may not agree, they're not much we can do to keep them from saying it. So, what's the best option?
A.If you don't like what they have to say, just let it go in one ear and out the other.
B.Maybe it was meant as constructive criticism, no matter how it was delivered, and maybe we can learn from it.

Some comments might be viewed as constructive, but this one wasn't. I agree that one should ignore it in the long term, but in the short term, Miss Manners would countenance this much of a response: Give the person a blank look, and say, "Really?" Then change the subject.

It's not much of a response, I grant, but it should be enough to let her know that you think she's a, um, not-nice person, and that you could care less what she links.

[Nicole Erin]

You don't look bad. The fashion sense needs some work yes but you have a lot of potential, and yeah the best thing would be to ask her how to improve if she things you are ugly. She probably just thought your outfits needed upgrading is all.
You have a size that you could wear some really stylish things and look great.

[Kathy4ever]

I remember my wife telling me one time that i would make an ugly gorl. This was years before she found out that I like to dress. You know I think it is there way of keeping things normal. She probable one of those girls that does not like this type of behavior. Just keep being yourself and just ignore her ignorance.