Let me tell you how great it is to pass and live full time en femme.

[Nicole Erin]

We are all at various stages.
Some of you are just now buying your first lipstick, some of you are nervous about your first outing you have planned when your wife goes to Zangolia for two weeks, some are clubbers, etc...

Many have this dream - to live full time as a woman. To be able to get pretty whenever and be treated like a woman.
That is where I am at as much as I can ever be.

What is it really like?

Here is my typical work day -
Roll out of bed, shower, make sure I look good (and no it is not "fun" at all anymore) drive to work do my job, go home, take off that damned bra and other crap, and throw on a tee and shorts or sweats.

Typical day off - throw on whatever is not too dirty and maybe comb my hair, go about with whatever.

by whatever standard they call "passing" (christ, I hate that word) I guess I am mostly there. Or accepted or whatever. I mean I get called "she" more than anything. Even if people do know, which I am sure many do, but I don't talk about it.

I think about if my car is working right, if the house needs cleaned or something repaired, if I have enough money for this and that, or whatever. I don't sit around and think of my gender.

So what gave? Well I achieved most of the social part of living as a woman. I have finally gained the confidence that helps "pass". Yes it is true, confidence does help a lot. I mean I am no Rita Hayworth, believe me. I am damn near 40 (oh christ)and built kind of large. Yet, kids don't stare, people don't gawk and very seldom make comments, nothing like that.

When you go thru most or all of your day without thinking about gender regardless of how you are dressed, that is when true confidence is achieved.

So yeah, living full time is really exciting. No parades, no one clapping and saying, "look at Erin, yes, she is passing and living as a woman, how grand!" Not even after some of the high prices I paid to get here, things like divorce, going thru the awkward stages of things, wondering if I would ever find a job (yes I did find one).

I used to be like some folks and be jealous of those living the life, but now that all the excitement is gone, I am actually kind of jealous of those CDs who have the fun of all their "firsts".

Well put it this way - today I was in the women's restroom at work, I got out of the stall and ran into a co-worker and you know what we talked about? Something that was going on at work cause it was the weekend.

Ladies, just learn to enjoy doing this. Once it becomes "just life", there is no real excitement in it.

[kellycan27]

I don't know Erin. Since completing my transition I don't find my life as being the SOS.. I like going to work, I like the attention that I never got in my former life. i do a lot of things that I wouldn't have done before. I enjoy my life, I enjoy doing new things and new experiences. Before I was merely existing.. Now I am living. My new life has purpose and meaning. Sure there are hose ho-hum moments, but overall my life has turned 180 degrees. Just sitting on the sofa, reading a book and having a cup of tea with my legs tucked under me is a joy. Brushing my hair in the mirror, a tip to the market.. I love this, this is how it was supposed to be. I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life.

Kel

[Anne Elizabeth]

Thanks Nocole Erin for your information That is the one thing that I have been thinking about in my travel through the spectrum. When it is all said and done I will still have to do everything that I now do except maybe have to strain harder due to lose of muscle.
However, you say

"When you go thru most or all of your day without thinking about gender regardless of how you are dressed, that is when true confidence is achieved. "

this is where I see there can be a very big difference between now and after transition. I would not be bothered about second guessing my gender and could quite possible carry on a day with out questions and doubt.

Again thanks

[Cynthia Anne]

Nichole I beleive you pretty well sumed it up! After awhile getting 'pretty' is a job you just do when you really need to! When the excitement is gone 'life' begins! Hugs!

[Michelle James]

You are 100% correct. I fell exactly the same. No excitement left. I look forward to days when I stay home and do nothing just so I can take a "shavecation". But you know what? I am still much much happier and more confident than ever before. My only regret is not doing this 40 years ago.

[Diane Elizabeth]

So its not much different than being a male. Worry about this and that. Going to the market. Worry about the car breaking down. Paying bills. Being called"sir" and wearing dull looking clothes. Yep! life is so much different. Being happy with being able to show who you really are. Being called "miss" or "madam". Yes, the journey probably is more fun and exciting than when the trip is over. I will let you know if or when I reach the end of my journey.

[Persephone]

I think that the aspects that most crossdressers get the most pleasure out of, the clothes, the shoes, and so on, definitely tend to pale and become commonplace, except, of course, for the excitement of getting dressed up for special occasions and the like.

But the pleasure of being involved in "girl world" remains. As time goes by, it gets harder and harder for me to remember what it's like to be in "boy world."

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Rianna Humble]

I think that my experience is somewhere between Nicole and Kelly

Yes there is a lot of routine and living as the real me isn't "exciting" 24 / 7 / 365 and what I talk about with the other women at work tends to be the same thing that we all talk about - either something that is going on at work, or families or love-life (theirs).

Yes, every morning I get up, shower, wash my hair, moisturise, open the wardrobe and wonder what I am going to wear to work that day (or on a day off, what I will wear to go shopping) but this isn't something exciting it's just life.

At the same time, I don't find my life boring, I enjoy the sense of being true to myself, I like planning my next trip to the beauty parlour if I'm going to get a bonus at the end of the month, a visit to the hairdresser can do wonders for my self-esteem and shopping is a great way to get over the blues. Also like Kelly, my life has changed 180 degrees because I am no longer just existing.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, no biggie Nicole. It's just that as many women you have found it is no big deal or "thrill" once we really get "there" . It's pretty much just life.A woman has a busy life and it's not just spending time to look pretty. It's kind of being all things to everyone. The joy of being a woman is just that, joy. Nice to get to that point in any case.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Many have this dream - to live full time as a woman. .............

.............What is it really like?

..........I don't sit around and think of my gender.
No parades, no one clapping and saying, "look at Erin, yes, she is passing and living as a woman, how grand!"..................

............Once it becomes "just life", there is no real excitement in it.

and just about sums it up.... except for the $100+k you need to spend, the painful electrolysis, losing all your friends/job/family stuff..

if that sounds good to you , then you just may be a transsexual...

[kellycan27]

After reading these replies it seems to me that age of transition plays a major part. So far it appears that most of the respondents so far have started or completed their transition in their 40's to mid 50's. Let's face it, by the time you reach your 40's life probably doesn't hold as lot of surprises, and they have missed a lot. How many people have the time, the desire, or where with all to revisit, or re-experience those times that may have played a major part in how they see their new life? How many are already basically set in their ways? How many are dragging a ton of baggage that they have accumulated along the way, and are still struggling with their transition? I can see where the thrill might be gone. I began living f/t at 20 and the way I see it i basically grew up as a girl and I was able to do a certain amount of revisiting some of the things I missed as a younger woman. I hadn't had the experience that many older people have had so I was basically working with a clean slate. How hard is it to wake up and start your life as a 40 or 50 year old woman?

[Badtranny]

I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life.

Thank you Kelly.

I was hoping this wasn't gonna be another one of those "I'm a woman now and life still sucks" threads.

My transition is the best and most exciting decision I've ever made, and I don't regret a single bit of it. It's expensive, and frustrating, and wonderful.

I look forward to my tomorrows and revel in my present.

[Lorileah]

Best damn thread of the year.

The fairytale/prince charming/happily ever after syndrome. The rites of passage. How many here get stuck in the 13-18 years old syndrome where they believe that the clothes, the make up, the looks they get will be the end all? I think I see this more than anything in the MtF boards. The discussions hinge on the same things adolescents talk about and when you play only a few times a year or so, it stays new.

I love Kelly with all my heart. She is one of my idols. She has the positive attitude I had when I was a kid (yes Kelly, I was your age once when dinosaurs walked the earth ) However i would not be her age now for anything (but I would love to go back and have a replay in my generation). What she says is true, that when you get to a point, life is just life. Something that happens while you plan so much more.

While I still change into a skirt when I get home (I never wear sweats unless I am working out) it is just what I wear and not a huge thrill. My next excitement? Waiting for a party so I can get all fancied up. Yes there is still some anticipation in my world but for the most part I ma marking time.

[kellycan27]

If you really stop and think about it.. What has been stated in the OP can be applied to life in general whether it has anything to do with transitioning or not. There are going to be those people just see it as existing, and those who grab it by the tail.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

hey don't get me wrong!! jeff foxworthy anybody??

I was just saying that what makes you happy when you start living a female life doesn't last.....the excitement of transition and a new life doesn't automatically translate into excitement about everyday living....it is what it is...

I think Kelly your appearance is an even bigger factor than your age... both young and old people are faced with a different set of issues if they are not able to appear naturally as women.. attractiveness has an impact on quality of life, and its multiplied for ts women..

age is a close second tho..IMHO
the challenges of people that waited "too long" are huge..
but they are solvable with patience and some pragmatic decision making..and if you learned your hard knock life lessons, it can really help you "transition well"...for example affording ffs and srs......

be realistic.. make sure you know your end game can be a plain old boring throw on sweatshirt on the weekend life (no complaints from me on that one..)

if you are mostly successful in a male life , you are much more likely to have a successful female life...

[kellycan27]

hey don't get me wrong!! jeff foxworthy anybody??

I was just saying that what makes you happy when you start living a female life doesn't last.....the excitement of transition and a new life doesn't automatically translate into excitement about everyday living....it is what it is...

I think Kelly your appearance is an even bigger factor than your age... both young and old people are faced with a different set of issues if they are not able to appear naturally as women.. attractiveness has an impact on quality of life, and its multiplied for ts women..

age is a close second tho..IMHO
the challenges of people that waited "too long" are huge..
but they are solvable with patience and some pragmatic decision making..and if you learned your hard knock life lessons, it can really help you "transition well"...for example affording ffs and srs......

be realistic.. make sure you know your end game can be a plain old boring throw on sweatshirt on the weekend life (no complaints from me on that one..)

if you are mostly successful in a male life , you are much more likely to have a successful female life...

I just spoke to my mom who is 54 and who still takes very good care of herself. I asked why she still dawns the make up and dresses nicley whether she's hanging out at home or out running the streets? I asked if she still gets a thrill. Her reply was... I don't do this for a thrill or to impress anyone else. I do it because I take pride in myself and my appearance as a woman. I then asked if is she ever got bored... She said naturally, they are those times, and you can can soak in them or you or you can find a way to change it. I may be old but I have found that if you avail yourself to it.. there is still some magic out there.

[Rianna Humble]

After reading these replies it seems to me that age of transition plays a major part. So far it appears that most of the respondents so far have started or completed their transition in their 40's to mid 50's. Let's face it, by the time you reach your 40's life probably doesn't hold as lot of surprises, and they have missed a lot.
...
How hard is it to wake up and start your life as a 40 or 50 year old woman?

Not half as hard as it would have been for me to continue to live the lie.you have had

I do envy you the opportunity you have had and would love to have been able to start my transition when I was your age, but Dr Who was not willing to lend me his TARDIS Mind you, I don't think that even if I wound the clock back to my 20's I would be as nice or as pretty as you

I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression, my life is immeasurably better than it would have been had I not begun my transition, but I don't get an adrenalin rush like some CD's describe every time that I step out of the door

[Kaz]

Brilliant thread! I hope I don't derail it! At times this is a glass half full/ half empty thing? Life is what it is whatever your gender... maybe some think the grass is greener on the other side... it may be, but it tastes the same... we all have the same day to day to deal with...

I have been dressing a lot these days in normal, practical roles and this 'maid' stuff is so so stupid... real women do real stuff... I am sat here in a big floppy jumperwith my bra and forms.. and yes they do feel good... and I am in garter belt and black stockings and slippers... yes slippers! It feels so great!

I 'know', maybe because I am old and wrinkly and have had decades of conversations with women, that what they do to look so good is amazing... given everything else they do...

I can appreciate the pain of transition...

[abigailf]

I think about if my car is working right, if the house needs cleaned or something repaired, if I have enough money for this and that, or whatever. I don't sit around and think of my gender.

If what you stated in this statement is all I get out of transitioning, then I am 100% in. Everything else is just background noise.

I long for those days I don't have to have an internal battle of the sexes. Where I don't feel lonely even when I am at a party with friends and family. When I don't have to second guess what to wear or have to change mid day because someone I plan to see doesn't know about me.

Honestly, to me, what you describes sounds blissful.

[Kittyagain]

I just spoke to my mom who is 54 and who still takes very good care of herself. I asked why she still dawns the make up and dresses nicley whether she's hanging out at home or out running the streets? I asked if she still gets a thrill. Her reply was... I don't do this for a thrill or to impress anyone else. I do it because I take pride in myself and my appearance as a woman. I then asked if is she ever got bored... She said naturally, they are those times, and you can can soak in them or you or you can find a way to change it. I may be old but I have found that if you avail yourself to it.. there is still some magic out there.

Kelly, my wife is in her sixties, she says the same thing as your Mom.

I do see how someone reaches for the brass ring then realizes it is just a brass ring can become disenchanted if they thought the ring was the answer to all of life's questions.

Maybe it is time to reinvent your self Nicole by becoming more active. Just a thought. I hope your life turns your way.

Kitty

[NicoleScott]

I would expect to find this discussion in the TS forum. I wonder why it hasn't been moved yet.

[Rianna Humble]

I would expect to find this discussion in the TS forum. I wonder why it hasn't been moved yet.

I'm sorry that you find it inconvenient to have a thread in the MtF section that sets out various points of view on what it is like to be full-time, but I do think that Nicole put this in the right place. We have all seen the threads where CD'ers fantasize about their idealised notion of what it would be like to be dressed 24/7. I don't think that there is anything wrong with a thread that gives the point of view of those who are.

Still there are plenty of other threads in this forum that you should find less inconvenient.

[Badtranny]

I do see how someone reaches for the brass ring then realizes it is just a brass ring can become disenchanted if they thought the ring was the answer to all of life's questions.

Bingo Kitty. (wow that's a great name for a punk band)

You hit it right on the head. I can imagine considerable disappointment for those who think the transition will make everything all better. It actually makes everything much harder, but if you're really TS, you just don't care. This is a journey to the center of your soul, and the outward manifestation starts as a struggle and eventually begins to resemble your heart. I've met CDs that are not happy people. Many are generally unsatisfied, unfulfilled and prone to self pity. These traits will not go away after the feminine goals are behind them. The negativity will persist until they find and fix what is hurting them from the inside out.

Transition is not the answer to your problems, it's the cure for your gender discomfort. That's it. I liken it to a caterpillar changing to a butterfly. As a caterpillar, I am getting along just fine. Slower and uglier than I'd like to be, but I can manage until I can finally disappear into my cocoon. When I emerge as a butterfly, the world will still be the same dreary place and I will still have to work and poop, but there will be one major difference; I'll have wings baby!

[cdwithplay36b]

If you really stop and think about it.. What has been stated in the OP can be applied to life in general whether it has anything to do with transitioning or not. There are going to be those people just see it as existing, and those who grab it by the tail.

So well put, Kelly. I have no desire to transition full-time, merely enjoy the fun times I have. And that also applies to nearly all phases of my life.

[Debglam]

I liken it to a caterpillar changing to a butterfly. As a caterpillar, I am getting along just fine. Slower and uglier than I'd like to be, but I can manage until I can finally disappear into my cocoon. When I emerge as a butterfly, the world will still be the same dreary place and I will still have to work and poop, but there will be one major difference; I'll have wings baby!

I'm going to take this a little broader than just trans issues. How many things in life seem to be the answer to all of our problems. I wish I was taller, richer, more powerful, a woman, etc. The trick seems to be to sift through a lot of crap to find out what it is that will REALLY give us our wings!

Let's fly!
Debby