Originally Posted by
Stephanie47
Well, back in the day before Al Gore invented the Internet, and, the only sexual reading material (The Kinsey Report) was locked in the librarian's desk, I (we) was scared to even think about anything so perverse as wearing women's clothing. Anything outside of the relationship shown on Leave It to Beaver or Ozzie & Harriet was frowned upon. To be divorced was to be branded something "bad." For a woman to wear pants may lead to arrest or harassment in some jurisdictions. We just suffered with self loathing, torment, etc. To be found out to be a cross dresser was more stressful than engaging North Vietnamese Army regulars in the jungles of Viet Nam. Keep in mind women were raised with the same mind set. Go with the flow. What would a girl do if she and her friends found out the boyfriend was a cross dresser. Well, there were plenty of available men to pick from. All positive attributes of a man were cast aside because society said we are freaks. Gays and lesbians were freaks. A bi racial couple would be beat up or worse. Inter racial marriages were legally forbidden in some areas.
So I (we) just suffered and hope for the magic bullet to "cure" us, i.e., marriage. It does not work. So, if a wife learned your "dirty little secret," just maybe the marriage could weather the storm as long as it was "their" secret. As late as the late 1970's I knew of women who ran off to divorce court when she found out about the husband's cross dressing. Maybe, as long as the spouse knew and nobody else, the marriage could survive. If it became other than a secret, it was over.
Fast forward to today. The media (television, movies, etc) is full of the old "sexual perversions." Gays, lesbians, same sex kissing, white-black kissing and relationships are all seen as acceptable and normal at least on the coasts. Enlightenment has not spread to the rest of America, except on an individual basis of acceptance.
I (we) did not know and still do not know how to bring the subject up to a wife. Screaming and yelling are to be accepted. The woman has to analyze the new 'elephant in the room' which nobody wants to acknowledge. My marriage survived because she weighed the scale of justice (marriage). I am no different than before she found out. And, I would say I was a better husband and father because I was a cross dresser. Even if I had difficulty early on accepting myself, I found that I could not cast dispersions on others for who they were. It is no easier telling a spouse today than it was forty years ago. Why? Because I am telling a loved one there is more to me than meets the eye, and, there is always the fear of rejection. Once the Genie is out of the bottle, it's out of the bottle forever.