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Thread: Told My Best Friend that I am a Crossdresser

  1. #1
    Happy 2 B Here Mercedes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Southern Alberta

    Told My Best Friend that I am a Crossdresser

    Hello Everyone,

    I have always read with envy the coming out stories others have told and now I can finally share one of my own.

    It started with the knowledge that the time my best friend and I will have in the same city (or country) will be coming to an end soon and after 25 years of friendship I felt I needed to share this part of myself with him.

    I had previously told my wife (Prior to marriage), a marriage counsellor to help with our issues and a female friend who I felt confident would accept me and respect my confidence. So telling someone I am a crossdresser is not something that comes naturally (like it does to any of us, ok most of us).

    My best friend and I made plans to see a 80's rock legend perform on a Friday night as a final boys night out. We planned on having a great night out with drinking and hard rock music and were staying at the hotel where the show was so no worries about driving or getting home late.

    After the show we were drinking and talking and I said we should get some fresh air. Although I was feeling the effects of the alcohol it did not effect my decision making, only my ability to actually get the words out. I had been thinking about telling him for weeks and was pretty sure I would. As we went for a walk around the building I said that I had something to tell him and that it was pretty monumental to me and I hope he would understand. It went something like "I am technically considered a crossdresser". My big revelation was not as eloquent as I had wanted, but I said it and that was the important part. After all the deciding to tell him I should have spent a little bit of time planning what to say.

    WIthout a moments hesitation, he thought that it was great and hugged me.

    I have always thought it would not be an issue with him as he is into the Alternative Sciences including tarot cards, astrology, symbols etc. And in my books this makes him someone who is always willing to allow for more colour in your life than black and white and shades of grey.

    As we talked more about my crossdressing into the night, he explained how he felt that the feminine and masculine are too separate and when they are combined into one entity that person is more "whole". It was late, we were drinking and a lot was said, so before I start trying to remember everything word for word I will leave it at, he was more than happy for me, thinks it makes sense for who I am and increases his respect for me.

    His only problem was why it took so long. I explained that it had nothing to do with him but it had to be right for me.

    At the end of the night and to this day I am very pleased that I made that decision, it went well and I feel so much better for telling him.

    Mercedes XOXOXO

  2. #2
    Aspiring lady KarenS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Congratulations on sharing your fem side with your best friend. It is a very difficult thing to do. I have friends that I see as Karen that are in the LGBT community. So from that standpoint, I am out to a carefully selected group that I know will accept me. Other than that, I am out to my wife, and a lady friend from college.

    For now, I am dissatisfied that more people do not know but have to much anxiety to share with others any more than that. I still perceive there is too much risk of my family's security to be more public.

    That being said, I very much respect that you were willing to share with your best friend.

    I love being a woman!

  3. #3
    Member Rebecca W.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    I have only told my secret to a few people and none of them are close to me. Your story will be read by many people, like myself that may never be able to express to everyone who we truly want to be. I read your story and I hope that in the future I will also be able to say to someone close that I am a crossdresser and hope that they accept me as one. This site at the very least brings a small segment of the world together and we can freely express our deepest thoughts and dreams without the fear of backlash or embarrassment. I wish you a wonderful new day without the further stress of telling a friend about your secret. It must feel wonderful to start a new day without that stress.

    Take care,


  4. #4
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Tidewater, Virginia USA
    Congratulations, telling and feeling accepted by a non-cd'er helps greatly in self-acceptance.

    I started out being forced to tell because my first wife kept threatning to tell everyone. Well I went ahead and told basicly everyone that knows me more than surface deep and I never lost a single friend, both males and females.

    Actually several males I shared with ended up sharing something deep about themselves and a couple even shared that they had crossdressed as kids themselves, even though for them it was only a temporary phase.

    "Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan

  5. #5
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Mo. Ozarks
    'Tis better late then never so they say! I think you have a true friend here! A True friend accepts you for who you are and doesn't try to change you! I wish I had one! Hugs!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    That get's an " atta a girl " from me. Congrats girl!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Great story - wish there were more of these.. congrats Mercedes

  8. #8
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    Mercedes, I happy your revelation turned out well for you. The only person who knows of my cross dressing is my wife. The real issue is to whom I share my commitment to cross dressing. I go with KarenS that there is a certain anxiety that comes with cross dressing. After achieving self acceptance and comfort with who I am, is it necessary to reveal my cross dressing to everybody. This part of me is probably going to remain on a 'need to know' basis. The biggest challenge for me is finding an environment where I can express myself with confidence and no fear of recrimination. I guess I feel there is no advantage to sharing my cross dressing desires with somebody unless I am going to appear en femme before that person.

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