A different mindset

[SallyS]

I have changed!...no not just into my female attire, but my personal reaction to my own CD'ing?

As a teenager and young man, it was mostly about the physical pleasure of putting womens clothing on. Once I had 'satisfied' my curiosity for that day, guilt, shame, and embarrassment would follow:......until a few days later.

These days, even after that 'satisfaction' , I simply stay in female attire and feel perfectly normal, with NO guilt, NO shame, and certainly NO embarrassment.

I guess as I have got older I have come to accept that, to me, what I do is perfectly normal and makes the experience more 'real'?

Perhaps now I have finally accepted that it is perfectly OK for someone to dress in the opposite sexes clothing and feel good about

[vikki2020]

Yes, I think this is a natural evolution, as we move forward. Free your mind, the rest will follow!! On one hand, "the thrill is gone", but, on the other, going out dressed is as easy as chewing gum!

[CallieH]

Acceptance, especially self-acceptance goes a long way towards making your peace with this. That is hood to hear!

[suzy1]

Nasty thing guilt. It can rob you of enjoying life and having fun.
Glad to hear you have overcome it Sally. Now just get on with enjoying yourself as Sally.

hugs, SUZY

[kimdl93]

I really believe that CDing is a separate part of who we are. For a time in youth, we found sexual excitement in dressing, but honestly, what doesn't turn on a 16 year old, CD or not? And as you point out, once we accept ourselves as CDrs, our sexual expression and our gender expression may tend to diverge. So, today I don't dress for sexual excitement....I dress because I feel more in tune with myself.

[ReineD]

Yes, I think this is a natural evolution, as we move forward. Free your mind, the rest will follow!! On one hand, "the thrill is gone", but, on the other, going out dressed is as easy as chewing gum!

It's a little like long term relationships, isn't it? At first it's the big flush of new romance with all its passion and excitement, but eventually the relationship settles into a calmer, more comfortable dynamics ... even though older married couples still do have sex.

[audreyinalbany]

I think it's a fairly typical progression for us girls. As young people it's all about the sexual rush,but as time goes by (and testosterone levels drop), it's a lot less sexual and a lot more sensual.

[sweetvictoria]

I agree 100%. For me it was mostly an arousal when I started. After a few years that changed and now it is actually a comfort thing. I feel relaxed infemme. It must be that I am more comfortable with myself.

[Piora]

It was an awakening for me recently too! I explained in this thread:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...elation-Lately.....

Now, I dress because I feel comfortable, feminine and relaxed in mostly regular female clothing. I don't get aroused from it anymore, and prefer the feeling that it gives me to just embrace my feminine side.

[Anna Lorree]

CDing was very sexual for me from about age 14 until age 36. Anymore, the act of dressing isn't arrousing in and of itself. I can become arroused while dressed, but it is usually from something like my wife doing make-up for me, or giving me a compliment or positive feedback of some sort. Now when I dress, my goal isn't to satisfy a sexual urge. Rather it is to relax, to feel fun and to let go for a little bit. I feel so much nicer when I am dressed, and so much more gentle and caring. Now, when I dress I feel like a better person. I don't feel shame. I am still a little uneasy around my wife, but that is because I know she is still a bit uncertain about my dressing, but she is trying. I love her very much for that.

Anna

[Cally]

Dressing has not aroused me in ages although in the beginning it was a very different story. I think the arousal earlier was the cause of the negative feelings afterwards. I felt I was some sort of deviate or something.

But these days I just feel comfortably natural and at one with myself.

I had to laugh when I sent my Mum my avatar pic the other day, she went "Oh my .. you wouldn't want to get an erection wearing that" .. my Mum is 86 and a real darling...
When I managed to stop laughing, I realized that there was never any danger of that occurring, not because of tucking or anything like that, but dressing simply does not do that anymore.

We evolve as we learn to accept ourselves. As Reine says, it's a like a good relationship that matures with time

[SallyS]

Thanks for you all your comments

So I guess it's my own, and others, personality evolution to find cross-dressing as natural as breathing in air at some point in their lives!

In a sense I don't even think that I'm CD'ing these day's, it just the clothes I choose to wear at the time.

No need to worry about the psychology of it all....it is what it is....and finally I can live with it