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Thread: Bi, when dressed

  1. #1
    Yahoo me, let's chat. BrendaT's Avatar
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    Bi, when dressed

    Who else is bi when their dressed. I need to know I'm
    Not alone.
    Keep your hands off my freedom and on my

  2. #2
    The Lurking GG Stitch's Avatar
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    I don't mean to be a pest but if your Bi when dressed, doesn't that just mean your Bi in general?

    I didn't think sexuality was something that could be switched on and off at will.
    I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome!

    Complete Geek and Girl gamer.

  3. #3
    The best of both worlds Kathi Lake's Avatar
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    I agree with Stitch - there is no such thing as 'situational heterosexuality', just situational honesty.

    Kathi

  4. #4
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathi Lake View Post
    I agree with Stitch - there is no such thing as 'situational heterosexuality', just situational honesty.

    Kathi
    Agree entirely. I mean, does one then stop being bi if they get nekkid? That could be awkward!

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Ahhh. No.... Nothing changes when I change clothes except my looks.
    I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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  6. #6
    Crystal VioletJourney's Avatar
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    I used to think so. Not so much anymore. I'd say it's just that once you've broken through the taboo barrier you can find what you truly like and don't like.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    The only time I change is in my dreams!
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  8. #8
    Moderately neato ElusiveGirl's Avatar
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    If you are turned on by a CD, and part of that attraction is knowing that they ARE a CD (i.e. a male person with male parts underneath)... you're at least bi-curious or probably bi. Which is fine.

    Being married, closeted, repressed, father roles, societal pressure, leadership roles at work, zillions of other factors can exert enormous subconscious pressure and guilt. But the fact is, if playing with gender in the bedroom is what it takes to get your motor running with another guy or CD, I say go for it. We like what we like.
    Last edited by ElusiveGirl; 10-26-2011 at 02:15 PM.

  9. #9
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    I agree with the others, bi is bi. Dressed, you libido is heightened which highlights your true bi nature.

    Kitty

  10. #10
    Senior Member KellyJameson's Avatar
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    Perhaps when you are dressed you than feel comfortable giving yourself permission to do something that you feel is wrong when you are not dressed combined with the feeling of wanting to be " taken" by a strong male as a woman. Sex is as much psychological as it is physical and there is nothing as complex as the human mind, no two are ever exactly alike but all are similar. The only way to self discovery is to taste life while watching to see if you are harming not healing your person. Challenging, scary as hell but very interesting, you will make plenty of mistakes but you will not be bored thats for sure. If you do not use life to escape from yourself but use it to discover yourself you will reach your destination.

  11. #11
    Junior Member nicki's Avatar
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    when im dressed and with a guy , if that makes me gay im ok with that. If im dressed and with another cd, does that make me a lez ?

  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    Questions like this used to really bother me until I realized for me "Skin is Skin"

    I am who I am no matter what.

  13. #13
    Just getting my feet wet Marie-Elise's Avatar
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    I'll go out on a limb here and I know there is at least one philosopher on this board so it might take an interesting turn.

    An actor playing a role takes on the character's persona and characteristics. Method actors are known for immersing themselves in their characters to the point they have been known to remain in character even when the cameras are not running or they are not on stage. The point is that actors, in taking on a role, often absorb characteristics of the character they are portraying, sometimes, very convincingly.

    In the case of the OP, is it possible that, in dressing as a woman, he takes on the characteristics of that particular woman who, I think we can all agree, is inside him. Is it possible that he, in his drab self, loves chicken wings and beer. But, when he is dressed, he prefers cosmopolitans and tapas. So, would it be a stretch to say that the woman inside him is bisexual but he is not?

    Again, I think that by virtue of us being who we are (crossdressers), we do take on a role when we dress. Clothes, we know (by societal and own reactions) are more than just the fabric cut, sewn, and configured in certain ways. Clothes are an identity. We go to job interviews dressed one way and to a BBQ dressed in another way because they put forth an identity. Some may say they are identities.

    By the way, in drab mode, I am very conservative; when I dress, it is as s provocative and borderline ****ty woman.

    Are there flaws in this logic?
    Last edited by Marie-Elise; 10-26-2011 at 03:24 PM. Reason: Added a note about myself.

  14. #14
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    Ya gotta agree with the crowd on this one. Bi is bi regardless

  15. #15
    Junior Member allyssa's Avatar
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    I totally disagree with the crowd...you can be whatever you want...you may not necessarily be "bi when dressed" though...it may be just a fantasy fullfillment, or wanting to conform to the role...either way, only YOU can tell YOU what you are!

  16. #16
    Horsing Around Jean Marie's Avatar
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    I enjoy the nwomans role with a man, but cannot say I am attracted to a man, plus I have no interest in being with a man unless I am dressed

  17. #17
    Dandizette LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    You will find that there are some around here that just cannot handle any kind of metaphor. So if you use a metaphor like "bi when dressed" or "male lesbian", it makes them go into full *TILT* mode. They just can't wrap their mind around it. After all, metaphors should be literally true. Right?


    I take "bi when dressed" to mean that you cannot imagine having a sexual encounter with a male unless you are in the "female" role. You want to be dressed female and treated like a female by your male partner. That's different than a cis-gendered guy that is attracted to either sex and who sees himself as a guy in any combination of sex partners. I've had those "bi when dressed" kind of thoughts before so I can identify with it to some extent. But, I realized a long time ago that I'm not really attracted to males in any way.

  18. #18
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I am ME whether I am dressed enfemme or in drab. And I am not Bi in any sense of the word and never will be!! I do agree with those who said that you are Bi regardless of what you have on. Sexuality cannot be changed whenever you like! It is there and always will be!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  19. #19
    Junior Member Adelina's Avatar
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    I think dressing does have a tendency to bring out something in you sexually that you may not feel when you're not dressed. When I'm dressed I am more likely to notice guys and want them then when I'm not, which is what I think the OP was trying to relate (maybe?)

    And I am somewhat like Yang too, conservative in drab, ****ty and creative in dress.

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member JulieK1980's Avatar
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    I am just bi. It doesn't matter if dressed or not. However, it used to be the case for me. For myself, it removed all the guilt I had for being attracted to a guy in the first place. After quite a few years though, I came to realize I do like guys as much as I like women regardless of how I was dressed.

    Perhaps you should explore those feelings more thoroughly. It could be the dressing just makes it feel less odd for you.

  21. #21
    new girl in town cassandra54's Avatar
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    nope, last two experiences i had with men, I was NOT dressed. i COULD get into it if the situation was right, but i'm not holding my breath anymore. bi and being dressed is not a good combination, because most men who say they are bi and are interested in guy who dresses are sleazy and looking for a freak show. on top of that a lot of guys who say they are bi, are not really bi, they are just looking for a quick thrill.

    last time my SO and i were intimate, I was NOT dressed. after being on this forum, learning so much about myself and reading a ton of posts, being enfemme has nothing to do with sex or having to be that way to enjoy myself. don't get me wrong if a situation presented itself, i would do it, but the chances of that are slim and none.
    man, i feel like a woman

  22. #22
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    I used to think I was only bi when dressed too, but then I realized that wasn't really the case. We are who we are.

  23. #23
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    Nope, nada, nyet it ain't happening. If your Bi, your Bi. Being a CD, just make it easier to say your Bi.

  24. #24
    ...don't encourage me Josie M's Avatar
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    I've heard of this concept (in some cases from gay friends of mine) called "hetro-gender". This refers to a crossdresser that takes on a sexual orientation according to the gender they are presenting. You might be bi.....or you might just be enjoying being accepted and treated as a woman. From my gay friends, I've often heard this with a certain amount of frustration. That is, they might be genuinely interested only to ultimately discover that the "hetero-gender" person is ultimately just playing a role. That is, they are not attracted to the person as much as they are the idea of being treated as a woman.

    Obviously, I don't know your situation. You have to decide if being with a male is what "gets your motor running" or if it's really just being treated as a woman is what is doing it for you.
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -- Mark Twain

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  25. #25
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    Bi, "only" when dressed?
    Sorry. That does not compute.

    That's in the same ballpark with "male lesbian" or "a little bit pregnant".

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